Drugs are bad, mmmkay?

Today is April 20th. To most of the current generation it's 420 day or weed day. The people that celebrate this day like a holiday are, in my humble opinion, people that are going nowhere with their lives. I'm no angel. Scratch that, I am when it comes to drugs. I wasn't always an angel, we'll say. People do what they do and I did mine during late teens and college years. I see absolutely no room for that kind of behavior in the lives of adults.

I'd be willing to bet that most people don't know where the 420 thing got it start. A group of stoners in the  1970s heard about a hidden cannabis crop. At 4:20 in the afternoon they would meet to hunt for it. Guess what? They never found it. Now people smoke at 4:20 every day as it has spread to become an integral part of the subculture to the point that today is Weed Day. So who is proud of modeling themselves after a bunch of people too stoned to know that the secret crop of weed never existed while they hunted for it?

We all know that drugs are not good. We all know that they are illegal. We all know that they don't exactly empower us to accomplish more. How many titans of industry have Facebook pictures of them sucking on a bong? Why has this become a socially acceptable practice for functioning adults in today's society?

I understand that kids do what they do and people go through phases of experimentation. But there has to come a time when you put... the... blunt... down and grow... the... fuck... up. Move on with your life, get a job, act like an adult. I cannot stress enough that being proud of burning brain cells at a rapid pace and being stoned and lazy is unbecoming for everyone.

Let's not forget that it's also illegal. I'm far from perfect. I go over the speed limit. I do all the things that the average person does. However, I don't advertise it on social networks. I don't create a holiday around it. I don't do it purposefully. Things that most people do are by-products of other actions and accidental.

So, if you don't partake in the immature, illegal, damaging things like what this stupid day has come to represent, then enjoy a wonderful spring afternoon. However, if you're sitting at home stoned because it's a holiday for you.... well, you're probably too wasted to read this or too broke to own a computer or a combination of the two. Maybe you're just too lazy. Or maybe you're reading this pissed off because you believe that being 27-34 and stoned at home in the middle of the afternoon is cool. Whatever, I'm off to work at a real job with health care, educational benefits and opportunity for growth, a career, and a pension. Enjoy your holiday on the couch. May you have all the cheetos you desire.

Convenience of facts and fees

I recently had an interesting conversation about the merits of convenience fees for extended services with banks and other organizations. It started because someone needed a cashier's check and complained about the $10 fee associated. Why is this necessary when I can write a check? Ok, fair question. A check takes 3 days to clear. A cashier's check is available now. The other benefit of a cashier's check is that it is guaranteed. I can write you a personal check for 100 million, billion, gazillion dollars tomorrow, but guess what? It won't do you a whole lot of good. You know why? I don't have that kind of money. A personal check is backed only by the mouth of the person writing it. It's why many people don't like to accept them. People made full time jobs out of floating checks. A cashier's check is guaranteed. The immediate response was that we can take cash out. Sure you can. Let's say you have the cash in the bank to buy a car. Are you going to pull out $20,000 in bills? I'd do it in pennies, but that's just because it would be funny. What car dealer will accept a personal check for that amount of money? So you get a cashier's check. Apparently the FREE personal check doesn't suit your needs. The FREE removal and use of cash doesn't fit your needs. You need an extended service. So that comes with a fee.

Has anyone ever gone to a concert? Did you get your tickets from the box office or did you use Ticketmaster? I ask because they are always cheaper at the box office. You know why? There is a convenience fee from ordering online or via the phone when you use Ticketmaster. How dare they make money? After all, they are only a for profit business. And as I've said before - the business of business is business. We are here to make money. Plain and simple.

Don't like it? Pull your cash out and put it under your mattress. God forbid you have a house fire. Money is gone. God forbid you get robbed. Money is gone. Now... should a bank go out of business guess what happens. The Federal Depository Insurance Corporation (FDIC) will refund you up to $100,000, which anyone I know that's reading this fits within. Have a credit union and not a bank? Ok, then the NCUA has got your back there. Your money is safe, despite what you may think you know. Banks fail all the time, as of late, but people are safe. It's the multi-millionaires, the ones who CAN write a check for 100 million, billion, gazillion dollars that lose their asses because they not only put their money in the bank but they invested in the bank and the companies that the bank invested in. There is risk there. YOU have none when you put your money in the bank. Understand the difference.

So your money is under your mattress because you feel it's safer there. By the way, let me have your address and we'll see how safe it is. Anyway, let's talk about interest for a moment. The interest rate sucks, right? Right. I agree. Damn banks and their interest rates. Wait a minute... hang on a second... the interest rates aren't set by the banks? What's that you say? Placing blame on people who have NOTHING to do with that number. Well that just sounds silly to me. Let's look at the government and the people who actually set that. Remember Alan Greenspan? Know the name Ben Bernanke? They set those rates. The bank bases their rates on what is set by the fed. Apparently while you were busy deciding what to do about the cashier's check fee you missed the news that Bernanke addressed the American public saying that he is less worried than he has been because banks are stronger. I (and you) may not agree with all of his decisions, but I'm pretty sure he's a better economist than we are.

But Americans will be Americans and want to have their proverbial cake and eat it too. "I don't want banks to fail, but I don't want to pay them fees so they can make money and... NOT fail. I don't trust them but I won't ensure their success so I can trust them." That makes no sense. The analogy for ALL Americans at this point is the person you see with a super size Big Mac meal and a diet coke wondering why the diet in the coke isn't helping them lose weight.

Commit to one side or the other. Adopt a policy. Truthfully, I couldn't give less of a shit which way you fall, as long as you do it from an informed place. Spouting opposing truths at the same time is ignorant, but it's what we do. I'm not going to stop educating the masses about the way things ACTUALLY work and making it easier for people. Of course, this needs to be read for it to have an impact. And I'd bet those same dollars that are tucked safely away in my bank account that the people that need this the most aren't reading it. They're busy complaining and getting nowhere instead of getting learned and better.

I'd talk more, but I've got a bunch of cash that I'm afraid will get stolen and I have to put it in the bank to keep it safe.

Protect yourself

I'd like to go on record and say that regardless of height, stature, skin color, or anything else... if I was walking down a dark street with a dark hoodie on my head and it wasn't cold or raining out, i'd look like i was up to something. So would anyone else. Wearing a hoodie at night like that casts a shadow and hides your features. You may be the most innocent person in the world, but perception is reality. So... it's not about race, it's about the image your project.

You can stand up for your individuality, but you must remember that not everyone shares the same ideals or thought patterns as you. Should they judge you for how you dress? No. Should they judge you for the color of your skin? No. WILL people, at times, judge you for all that and more? Absolutely. People are people. The magic of free will as a God given right and free speech as a Constitutionally protected right is that people will disagree with how you do things at times.

So you can stand on principle and wear whatever you want, wherever you want, and look however you want. Or you can give in a little bit (even if you shouldn't have to) to protect yourself and your life. Life is about freedom (in the United States), but it is also about compromise.

So choose, here and now - which is more important to you?
Standing up for your right to wear what you want
Protecting your life

It's a shame that you have to make that choice, but since we can't force everything to think the way we want and level the playing feeling in an Orwellian fashion or "A Brave New World" kind of way, we have but one choice to make that is not really a choice at all. We must compromise along the way. You've worked on days you wished you were off. You've taken class you wanted to avoid. You've mowed the lawn or taken out the trash against your preference because mom or dad told you do. We do things we don't like as part of fitting into the bigger picture.

I don't call it catering to racism or placating the assholes. I call it self-preservation. I say it is doing what's best for me. I say it is taking a small loss for a bigger gain. It's simply compromise.

Now... standing on principle in a situation that an unreasonable person may take unreasonable and get you killed is worth it to you, then do that. Just remember, you can't reason with unreasonable people so... sometimes, against what is truly right, we do what's right in the situation.

Prioritize.

Dogs or a house?

Some couple moved to some town in Wisconsin with their 4 dogs. The city ordinance says they can only have 2. Now they are fighting the city. Instead of being asked to remove 2 dogs, the city should throw them the hell out. That's just my personal opinion. I sympathize with the emotions the couple is going through. I love my cats like my children. I get it. That's no excuse for their behavior.

First of all, the ordinance predates your time in this town. You don't get to come in and change things that don't suit you. Maybe I'll move there and fight the change a law or a rule so I can take a shit on your front lawn. I mean, the legal system, at any level, is not built around everyone's individual convenience. Secondly, buyer beware. Do your homework. I'm not suggesting they read every statute, because I know I sure as hell wouldn't, but at the same time, there was a rule that they didn't know about. They COULD have, but they didn't. Where was the realtor in all of this? This is not something that's been sitting on the books since 1863 like South Carolina's ordinance that says you can beat your wife on Sunday as long as it's done on the courthouse steps. This was put into place in 1989. It's relatively new. It's also bizarre. I feel like a rule like that in a small town in Wisconsin would be known about. It stands out in a crown of ordinances. Someone knew about.

So the town told them to choose. They were told that prosecuting people isn't the intent. It's a small town that's using this rule (amongst others, I assume), to keep order in the town. They aren't in any trouble. They just have to choose - house or dogs. So what did they do? They chose both. They said they chose their dogs, but they're still in the house and fighting the system. Bullshit. Then you didn't choose. The only thing you chose was to fight. Sit down, shut up, and alter yourself to meet pre-established rules. The next time I get a job and I'm told my work hours are 9-5, I'll say, "I prefer 11-7. So I choose the take the job and I'll fight to change the way it works around here." How quickly do you think the offer would be retracted?

More spoiled brat Americans that want what they want no matter what. Will the 2 dogs make a huge difference? Probably not. Is that the point? Not even a little bit. People should just abide by things. And if you change one rule for one person, what is to stop everyone from wanting to change everything? Fucking anarchy. I'm exaggerating.

Anyway, know what you're getting into and pay attention. Have some personal accountability and follow the damn rules. McDonald's will make you fat even if it's oatmeal. Cigarettes will kill you and not turn you into a badass cowboy/rancher. Coffee is supposed to be hot and it will burn you if you drink it in the car. Laws are in place that will seem inconvenient to you at times. They are there for some reason and you should follow them. OR run for political office and affect change.

I SUPPORT THE LORAX

You may have heard by now that people are calling for the world to boycott the Lorax because of the marketing tie-ins. I not only will not boycott the Lorax, but I want to proclaim that I support the Lorax. I also support the companies that are using it in their marketing campaigns (granted I don't need an HP or a Mazda, but if I was in the market for either one I'd buy just BECAUSE of this).

The first thing was the Lorax in a treadmill, running to power an illuminated HP logo. This bothers people because it's not subtle. Who cares? For years we have seen common icons promoting a brand. Cross promotion is important because it it creates brand recognition and campaign recognition immediately. Do you think 6 year old are going to want an HP computer because of the Lorax? No, moron. They scream "Mommy! Daddy! The Lorax is on TV" at which point mommy and daddy look and get to hear about the new HP whatever that the commercial is selling. Who loses here? Honestly. Anyone?

The bigger issue is the Mazda reading event. Here's how that plays out:
- Big fluffy Lorax show up at a school (human in a Lorax costume)
- Mazda covered in movie related items is parked outside
- Mazda gives $1,000 to the school library
- Kids are told they can raise up to $1 million dollars and win a trip for 4 to Universal Studios if they get their parents to test drive it
- Mazda donates $25 for every parent that brings some school certificate to the test drive.

So... when you boil it all down we end up with the school receiving money, which is good. Kids pay attention to reading hour because their cartoon icon du jour is reading it, which is good. Mazda plays to the kids emotion to sell cars, which may be shady but they're the one donating the money so it's worth it. Mazda sells cars to parents, which is good for Mazda.

If the Mazda was a piece of shit then it wouldn't matter how much the kids bitch. The quality of the car stands on its own. Besides, no adult with half a brain will buy a car just because the kid saw a Truffula tree on the side of one - once. So who gets hurt here? Are we exploiting kids? I don't think so. How are the kids being used in an unfair way?

There's one last piece to this. The Mazda has gotten the Truffula tree seal of approval. The message here is that it's eco-friendly. However, people are up in arms about the false advertising. Really, knotheads? It's a fictional tree from a fictional story about a fictional tree. The Truffula tree doesn't fucking exist. So what are your panties in a twist about? Do you know the story of the Lorax. It's a metaphor in the first place that teaches a lesson about the environment and ecology. If you want to take a story with a moral and pair with a product that shares the same morals, what the hell is wrong with that? The Hummingfish support the Mazda. Well the Hummingfish, if you recall, moved away because of pollution but they support the Mazda. That means it's cleaner.

We all know cars are not clean. But let's face facts, this isn't Europe. The country isn't set up for mass transportation. If you feel that strongly about it, walk your fat ass to work. Cars are here to stay, hippies, no matter what you think. So if one company is concerned about the environment to the point that they are willing to stake their reputation on it against a popular movie making millions to teach a lesson about protecting the environment, then more power to them.

Bottom line, there has got to be better ways to spend your energy. And boycotting the Lorax? What does that do? Leverages the plight of the poor children in a way that prevents them from seeing a movie they have been waiting for. Takes the lesson of being eco-friendly out of their lives. So Mazda and the Lorax paired up to put a positive message out (and sell some products) and you call it exploitation of the children. Yet boycotting the movie at the expense of the children's wants to see it (the same children who have no clue about this marketing stuff anyway) is not exploitation? Which one really affects them in the end?

If you boycott this movie over this, let me know so I can boycott you because you are an idiot.

More uninformed panic

You may have seen the image below proliferating throughout the social networking community. You may or may not have paid much attention to it. I'll pause briefly for you to take a look.

You may be thinking the exact same thing I was thinking and I don't blame you if you are. My thoughts were "Who the hell is Monsanto?" and "Since when did all these behemoth companies fall under one parent company?" Finally, you may be thinking, "Why do I give a shit about any of this anyway?"

Here are the answers in brief:

1 - Biochem firm that does lots of good things in shady ways and is generally hated.

2 - The graphic is a phony, rhetoric heavy piece of propaganda that isn't true

3 - Because you overreact and are willing to be a nameless and faceless warrior for the greater good at the cost of your own enjoyment and habits.

What does all that mean and where is it coming from? Monsanto has recently come under fire for their use of GMO, which is Genetically Modified Organisms. Basically, they use rDNA to mix up the genes of things that normally don't go together. Then they are transferred into something else to give it unique and novel characteristics (Anyone seen GloFish?). 

The list of companies appearing above are not owned by Monsanto. The graphic is patently untrue. It is inflammatory and being used to incite anger. There is a relationship between these companies and Monsanto, however. All of the companies on the list use Monsanto in one way or another. So... you're eating GMO. You have been for a long, long time. You may have noticed that Healthy Choice is on that list. While they are processed, packaged food they are healthier than others.

So how bad is GMO for you anyway? Nobody really knows. That's kind of the point. People don't want to eat it because they think it's horrible and unregulated and shady. But in reality, didn't the FDA require every food manufacturer to put health statistics on packaging? YES! So regardless of the contents, you know how many calories, cholesterol, protein, carbs, sugar, etc. are in a product. Who really cares about the rest?

I know what you're thinking. What about the long term effects of using recombinant DNA? I can ask you... what about the long term effects of not using it? Maybe it's healthy. What about the long term effects of bring near cell phones, using computers, and embracing anything new out there? Nobody has a crystal ball. There's no way to know. You can go back to the days before cars and technology and power and indoor plumbing and live a natural life, but that doesn't make sense. It's evolution. The long term effects of living on the planet Earth are death - for everyone. Enjoy it while you're here and don't worry about every chemical or method used to made food by people who are smarter than you and are paid to make these choice. Just keep slinging it through the drive-through window like your used to.

Let's take one more minute to talk about the economic impact. You can eat healthy and organic and stay away from all the processed shit if you want. You will pay for it. Bottom line. Don't expect to get everything for the same price. It's supply and demand. Don't get mad at companies for charging more. They are here to make a profit. If it costs THEM more, it'll cost YOU more. Plain and simple.

Personally, I like pretty much everything on that list and will continue to eat it. I suggest you do the same because if you give into the manufactured terror by the extremist nut balls, you'll spend more time altering your diet than anything else. Every week, something else is going to kill you. Not eating at all will kill you quicker than anything else. 

Just enjoy your life.

Frame of Reference

I have been seeing this, or some just like it all over the web lately. The first time I saw it, it was motivational. "That's a good point," I thought. If this little kid can run with no legs, then I have no reason for not getting off my ass and accomplishing things in life. Then it started showing up more and more places. Then I saw it posted by people that I've known for years that are full of excuses and incomplete things in their lives. I realized that I've always given less than a shit about what they do with themselves and now, as they post this, I judge them for it.

So I started to think about this little kid. I'm sorry he lost his legs in whatever horrific event he was a part of. It's terrible that he is limited for the rest of his life. It is fantastic that he was born with the disposition and "never give up" attitude to overcome it as best he can and do it with a smile.

The truth of the matter is that using a child in a picture like this as a pawn to convince other people they are lazy, is hitting below the belt. Not everyone can endure the same level of stress. Not everyone can remain sunny after life knocks them down. And his problems are his own, my are my own and everyone else's problems are their own. What I'm trying to say is that while this kid has it worse than a lot of people and remains in smiles, it's comparing apples and oranges to expect the same out of everyone else.

That's where the title comes in. Frame of reference. You can only compare your problems to your life. He doesn't count. Lots of factors come into play. I tell people all the time that they cannot put their values on other people and judge them when they don't get the response they are looking for. People are people and they are all different.

I have my problems. I have problems that start in my feet, get real bad in my lower legs, affect my knees, thighs, hips and then lower back. And I stand and teach for 9 hours each day anyway. That's my life, that's my story. Nobody else can be measured against that. I can't run a half mile. But I have my legs. Should my excuse of my leg problems be invalidated because the kid above is running with NO legs? Not to be a complete dick, but I'm pretty sure he can't feel pain in either prostheses. I can certainly feel pain in the locations where those scoops would be. So my problems are my own, as are my excuses.

Some years ago, 1996ish, there was a big discrepancy about those types of prostheses in the Olympics and whether they should be allowed. The Olympic committed found, at the time, that they gave an unfair advantage to the athlete. They don't fatigue, for example. People got outraged. "How dare they say this young man has an advantage? He lost his legs." That's not what was being said. He has an advantage in the only circumstance the Olympic committee oversees - running. And being somewhat bionic, it makes sense. Frame of reference. The committee wasn't ruling that they couldn't participate because their life was better. Nobody would say that, and it's not their place.  But as a runner... a determination was made.

I guess the point is that there are many people, each with their own lives and each life has its own little caveats here and there. It is unfair to measure everyone with the same yard stick. If that's the case then put a picture of Temple Grandin and tell us our excuses are invalid. I bet most people don't even know who she is. She overcame. President Roosevelt sat behind the desk in the Oval Office with Polio. Bill Gates and Steve Jobs changed the world forever, both without college degrees. Everyone has the freedom to do whatever they want in life, but within the confines of their own situation and levels of comfortability and ability.

So get this kid out of my face. I'm not him. His problems are not my problems. I'm in my lane, running my race according to my own parameters and circumstances. I will measure myself against my aptitude and choices. I will not seek validation of my decisions or excuses by how well they stack up against this child.

One more thing. This kid is running a race and smiling in this photo. Do you think for one moment there have not been days that this kid has been cranky, ornery, and miserable at the world for no legs? Do you think he gets up EVERY day with his toothy smile ready to take on the world? So now you're not even judging people against people. You're judging people against 1/500 of a second of someone else's life.

You say my excuse is invalid. I say your argument is.

Be My Valentine

I fell asleep on the couch watching TV last night and woke up to The View. Let's be clear, putting this on was not a conscious decision. Naturally, everyone is talking about Valentine's Day. They were getting on the case of Whoopi and some other lady that I've never seen for not wearing red.

Then Barbara Walters chimed in and as if her voice wasn't grating enough, her words made me throw up a little bit, in between weeping for our future. She said she categorically disagrees with giving valentine's out in schools. As soon as she said it, I knew what was about to come next. Her reasoning was because some people give valentine's out to some other people, but not everyone and there may be someone who doesn't get one at all. That, according to Barbara is wrong and unfair.

What Miss Privileged seems to forget is that life is not fair? Not everyone gets a valentine. Not everyone wins the game. Not everyone gets a trophy. For some people, life just sucks. For some people, it sucks only until they learn to put in hard work. I am a perfect example of not knowing that life could suck and reacting very poorly when it did. I was given everything as a child. Not to the point of these no score soccer games, or everyone gets a valentine, but I was spoiled, let's face facts. Then I had to work for my money. I had no concept of the value of a dollar. I had no idea how hard life was. I thought I was getting the shit end of the stick. As it turns out, it's SUPPOSED to be hard. That's where the value shows up when you surmount these challenges.

I'm one person not indicative of my society and age group. Today's children have environments build around them that FORCE equality. I understand why 4-year old playing soccer don't keep score, they can't keep they eyes on the ball. However, this concept continues into the older children categories. Competition is healthy. It spurs people to do better, work harder, and achieve more. There's nothing wrong with losing, if you learn something from it.

So giving valentine's out to everyone furthers the theory that we are all equal and will always be treated as such, when only the first half is true. We will not all be treated equally. We will not all have the same opportunities. I am opposed to leveling the playing field for everyone in every situation. The world needs ditch diggers and engineers. Balance keeps it all going.

The whole thing was particularly shocking because I can't believe that someone supposedly so educated and cultured could miss the importance and psychology and developmental issues surrounding this topic.

You'll be fine, I assure you

Big news in the entertainment industry. Someone we haven't heard from or thought about since the last time she was in trouble is now dead. That's right; Whitney Houston bought the farm today. I still haven't heard what the cause was. We know it wasn't the stress of a recently successful career though. Don't get me wrong, I feel bad she's dead. I don't wish death on anyone generally speaking. And I was never personally wrongs by Whitney. I was basically unaffected be her presence. That goes doubly in recent years. She's a non-entity in the lives of the average American. Once upon a time she made awesome music. Then she got her ass kicked by Bobby Brown and then she did a bunch of drugs. Somewhere along the line she fell in love with Kevin Costner, right?

The point is that it's ok to feel bad about it. It's ok to say it's a shame that she's dead. It's too bad she didn't put out more music in recent history. The turns her life took are lousy. But here's where you all lose me. You're surprised? It's a shock? Are you kidding me. I'm shocked that you're shocked. I'm shocked she made it this long. I'm not FOR her death, but I have to say... I kinda saw this one coming... like forever ago.

And here's the real trouble with the people on Facebook and Twitter. So many are heartbroken and crying. When was the last time she crossed your mind? 199x? Or when those pictures of her all fucked up on drugs surfaced? When was the last time you really sat and thought about her? And now you're all drying and miserable and wondering how to make it through the day. These are the same dopes that flung themselves against the gates of Neverland Ranch when poor little mutated Michael bit it.

She did drugs. She was an adult. I'm pretty sure by the time she started on the shit, she had heard, at least once, that they are bad for you. I didn't make her do them. I didn't sell them to her. I didn't do anything. Maybe all the people that bought her music are the ones to blame. YOU FUNDED HER HABIT - ENABLERS!

All I'm saying is that I get the human response that says, "that's too bad." What I don't get is the heart wrenched people who are posting emotionally charged status updates and are feeling touched by this. If you were a fan, you'd have been posting about her all along during her troubles. She's a trending topic just like the super bowl was last week. And in a week, nobody will mention her ever again.

Let's just not pretend your sitting at home trying to get over the death of Whitney Houston. That's ridiculous.

Every day

I don't know if it is the law of diminishing return at work or just getting a little case of "senioritis" toward my military career, but...

Every day I get a little less satisfaction than the day before.

Every day I miss my friends and family from home just a little bit more.

Every day I have less tolerance for the immaturity of the next generation of Airmen that show up.

Every day I feel more distance between myself and my friends here.

Every day I long for a phone call from a civilian employer.

Every day I wake up with less energy than the prior morning.

Every day I measure my worth as a professional against my pay with increased disappointment.

Every day I stare, just a little longer, at the voluntary separation button my computer.

Every day I breathe a sigh of exhaustion before leaving for work - just a little heavier.

Every day I remind myself of all the good brought into my life by all these years in the military.

Every day I don the uniform and dig down deep for the pride that should automatically come with it.

Every day I want nothing more than to wake up, look around and say, "I'm truly at home."

Every day I count the days until I can say that.

Every day I do what I promised because I promised I would. I took an oath.

One day I will do what I do because I love it, I'm rewarded for it, I'm compensated appropriately and it'll all happen while surrounded by those most important to me.

Today is not that day.

What a relief

Obviously the last blog post spurred by a decision to shut down my company and online presences as a brand (3 brands, actually) was very disappointing. Even if it was necessary and added up by the numbers, emotionally it was a huge letdown to be in that position. I worked very hard at all of it and maybe that was the problem. Maybe 1 brand would have been a huge success, but 3 brands and a full time job were more than any 1 person could handle. I don't really know. Anyway, I spent all day feeling pretty lousy about the whole thing.

Then came this huge relief. I was talking to Linda and explaining the difficulty of trying to push content to people when nobody was asking for it or trying to pull content. She said that, to her, it seemed like I was showing up with an expert opinion to tell the world what they should and shouldn't buy or should and shouldn't do. She meant that from her perspective she didn't understand why I was so bent on the interaction, when I have so much to say about tech at any given moment.

I enlightened her about the process of keeping up with industry news from all sources (including the bozo tech tabloids like gizmodo and techcrunch), reading all the opinions, garnering fact, making my own analysis, wording so it makes sense to the average user and then delivering. If it's a video, it's that much harder to film, edit, upload and share to every platform available.

Then I explained something else that people outside my shoes don't really know or understand. As much as I love the new gadgets, being in the position that I was in came with a certain level of mania and, subsequently, anxiety about keeping up. I wanted an iPhone 4S but I also felt like I HAD to have one. How could Vig the Geek wax intellectual with the last generation? Where would the credibility be? I was frantically trying to sell my first iPad to raise the capital to buy the 2nd one. I tried the ChipIn thing to raise funds to buy cool gadgets to review (and then give away as prizes to my lackluster audience) and got nowhere.

I was constantly on the defensive as an iPhone guy and had a hard time defending my position since I didn't own an Android device. I now don't have to worry about funding a truly expensive habit just to keep up and talk about all this stuff. I don't have to get content out constantly. I can focus on other areas like getting some certifications. I can revive my interest in iOS app development.

I feel a huge sense of relief knowing I don't need to pump all this out only to never know if it's being heard by anyone other than my 3 closest friends. A million pounds have been lifted off my shoulders by closing JayVig Photography, JayVig Media and Vig the Geek. Still though, I thought it was all going to propel me into something bigger and letting go of a dream is never 100% easy. At least I can breathe now.

Tapped out

At some point last year I was about to shut down my online brands. At the 11th hour, everyone rallied support and asked me not to. I agreed. There was a resurgence in popularity and interaction for a brief time that tapered, sputtered and then died. I kept at it anyway. I started more.

Over the past few days, I was trying to figure out how to breathe life into my businesses so I could a) make money, b) serve my audience and c) have fun doing what I love to do. I've been exhausted and stressed out worrying about the amount of content I've been putting out, the frequency, streamlining the process, hitting the right topics and how to get back into the swing of things after a hectic holiday season. So I looked at everything. There's been nearly zero interaction on JayVig Media, slightly more than that but not much on Vig the Geek and absolutely nothing on JayVig Photography. The celebrity death pool had a guaranteed 7 teams, only 2 of which actually entered since announced on December 30th. All of these things cost me money. Not only am I not making money on them, but they cost me money every single month. Some in domain name fees, some in hosting fees, some in equipment, some in all of the above. They all cost a lot of time.

I research and formulate opinions. I reach out to peers in the industry and space and have conversations. I put my thoughts together to write articles or film videos. The videos require editing and uploading. I pay more for a better Internet connection to get videos up faster. I pad money for a Vig the Geek giveaway when I hit 400 fans, which I couldn't even make happen.

Facebook is very saturated. There are lots of brands out there. It's not easy to stand out anymore. However, some people find a way. Some people do it with nonsense. I can't do it. I cannot manage my brands. I started JayVig Media, LLC because I wanted to help businesses build their brands in the social space and I felt I had the knowledge, drive, and understanding of the intricate ways in the social space to make that happen. I can't even grow my own audience and manage my own brands. How can I sell others on how to do it? After a year, JVM had a whopping 49 followers. The most interaction I get is anonymous people reporting this blog to FB to have me marked as spam and banned.

I'm not a salesman. I'm a pushy, loud, bullshit artist. Put me in a room and I'll have a better than average chance of convincing you. But I'm not a salesman. I can't reach people. I can't convert people to followers and followers to customers.

So, I'm just a regular user on FB now. No brands, no businesses, no articles, no videos, no conversations with the big names. No aspirations of taking over the social media world. I've unpublished JayVig Photography, Vig the Geek and JayVig Media. I have suspended my account on Empire Avenue. I've logged out of both Twitter accounts. I'm disconnecting myself from all extra accounts and social Internet communities.

I couldn't do it. I tried. Vig the Geek was running for years now. JayVig Media for over a year. I worked hard at each brand, my full time job, school, my personal relationships and individual hobbies. My businesses were not successful where they were sustainable. There wasn't any ROI. So they are shut.

I've decided to, amidst school, study for my CCNA. I'm going to prepare myself for technical work after the military as a network administrator or something similar for a company.

I'm not an entrepreneur. I just wanted to be.

There IS a difference

I saw this on Facebook today and it irritated me to no end. Liking one of these, but not the other one does NOT make you a hypocrite. They are two entirely different situations. They differ from how and why you'll see them as well as choices and respect for the freedoms of people around you. I always say that your freedom extends to the point that it impinges on someone else's. Our freedoms are not limitless. There has to be a mutual respect for people around us if we are to all maintain a healthy level of freedom in the first place.

Looking at the left picture, we have someone who is a waitress and wears a certain "uniform," if you will. Chances are, this is not worn at a family restaurant. That kind of exposure is not appropriate for families or young children. This is not dissimilar to Hooters (although the dopey manager of the Hooters in Biloxi, MS thinks it's a family oriented place). I would not take my children to a restaurant where the women dress like the kilted beauty above. If I do, then it's on me. I am responsible for explaining more details of female anatomy to my kids before their brains are ripe enough to get it. That being said, other than a stomach which can be seen at the beach, she is only showing a little more than average cleavage (average as defined by the United States in 2012).

Now let's look at the right. By area, she is showing more of her breast than the waitress. Then there is the act. The woman on the left is not doing anything but standing there. The woman on the right is performing a public, intimate act in public. I may kiss my girlfriend in public, but I don't make out with her. That's a private act that stays private, as is breastfeeding. Explaining to a child about the parts they see on the left is different than explaining the act that is happening AND the parts they see on the right. Now, let's talk about the freedom aspect. Like I mentioned above, if I go into Hooters or the place the left side girl works, it's a choice. If I see the woman on the right in a restaurant (or a park as it seems from the pic), I have NO choice. It is thrust on me whether I like it or not. Who is to say this won't happen in Walmart, McDonald's, BestBuy or a TGI Friday's, all of which do not house the woman on the left or her exposed anatomy. But the act of breastfeeding may happen anywhere, without means for escape. 

If there is one thing I cannot support, it is being forced to endure someone else's nonsense. This blog is a prime example. If you're reading this far and you're pissed off I have ZERO sympathy for you. You clicked the link and have read down to the 4th paragraph so far. You are free to leave at any point. If I interrupted something you were doing, made you a captive audience and forced you to read/watch/listen, then you'd have a substantial claim to be aggravated at me. If I am mid-meal at a truly family friendly restaurant when a breast pops out and the baby starts his meal, I have no choice. I suppose I could forego eating, pay for a half eaten meal, get up and leave, but I shouldn't have to. Private stays private.

I wouldn't complain about breastfeeding at a Mommy and Me class; that's expected. I don't even complain when a blanket is used to show some damn discretion. I'll never forget the woman in January of 2003 standing at the return counter of  Best Buy where I was an employee. Her shirt was pulling up on one side, breast was out and baby was feeding. It was less discreet than what we see above. Entire boob out in the breeze for the world to see. Telling me that's the same as the cleavage on the left? So, I'm standing there trying to assist her (with her computer, not breastfeeding) half shocked, half horrified, half formulating an opinion on whether this is ok or not (that's 3 halves for those counting). I'm clearly distracted. I'm 23, in public and this is new to me. It gets attention. She is offended that I'm surprised her boob is out in Best Buy. She storms off with the baby under one arm and the laptop under the other. Truthfully, there were about 3 of us behind the counter, all with the same quizzical look on our faces. We are doing our jobs. She took her breast out. Were WE the strange ones?

How can anyone honestly say that both of the above pictures are the same? If you want to rally support for breastfeeding, fine. If you think there should be more accommodations to be milked in public, fine. Is the above picture really your soapbox? I guess this is more about properly choosing your argument and supporting visual aids than about the argument itself, when you get right down to it. That picture above is asinine. 

Think about the amount visible, the act, the location, the intent, and the in-your-face-no-matter-your-opinion factors of each and then tell me I'm a hypocrite. 

It begins anew

It is New Year's Eve. Linda and I have spent the morning cooking and cleaning in preparation for hosting a few friends later this evening. It'll be relatively low key, but will still be filled with food, drinks and enough silliness to keep us all occupied.

Right now, Linda is tying up a few loose ends cleaning and I'm on hold with the cooking at the moment. So, I have some down time to think about and reflect on the year that is ending and the one that is beginning. On the eve of a fresh start, either actual or perceived, it's hard to ignore the significance of it all.

Looking back at 2011:
It was neither the most nor least eventful year I've ever had. It did, however, come with its share of trials and tribulations, but there was enough good to more than offset the cost of the negatives. It's nice when life is more positive than zero sum over a measured period. I lost some friends along the way and had some ups and downs with others. Work was work - perpetually challenging, yet overall rewarding so we'll call that a win too. I grew close with some people and reconnected with one in particular in ways that I wouldn't trade for anything. And of course, I met the girl. She is a woman in full - gorgeous, sexy, sweet, caring and yet utterly frustrating and infuriating all at the same time, but I wouldn't trade her for anything.

All in all, I'd say that 2011 had more good than bad and shaped up to be a pretty good year for me.

Looking forward to 2012:
This is the year of possible change for me. I may be getting out of the military. If not, It'll be shortly into 2013, which means that 2012 is still all about preparation and change. I'll be finished with the long awaited, very elusive college degree. My company will continue to build and get off the ground. I'll find out what I'm worth in a professional, civilian job. My relationship with Linda will grow and mature. On a sad note, I'll have to say goodbye (or at least prepare to) some very good friends here in Mississippi.

2011 was good, 2012 will be better. They are both full of change, growth, planning and evolution - more so than an average year. It is very exciting and I can't wait for all of it. This is a New Year's Eve that I am very happy about and I simply cannot wait to see what lies ahead. No matter what the outcome of any of the forthcoming situations, it will be a year of adventure.

It's all about the journey. Let the next chapter begin!

It's all about the toddler

This isn't the first time I've written to you from a plane seat at 36,000 feet in the air while on the way home from visiting the crew in NJ. There's something about recycled air and being on the last row of the plane near the bathroom where you only site if you have diarrhea or are anxious to meet people who do. Be that as it may, I supposed It inspires me. 

I am at the tail end of a Christmas trip to NJ to see a bunch of important people. Not to diminish my excellent friends that have come my way via the military, but they are just not blood relatives and my Jersey friends have been around for 2o+ years so they hold a special place. 

In any event this trip was unique and special. It is conceivably, the last Christmas visit I'll have to make since I could be home permanently, sooner rather than later. Even if that is not the case, next year I'll visit just long enough to see Christmas and then go back to MS to pack and move home within 90 days. In addition to friends and family I got to spend much of the time with a very special lady. And on multiple occasions I got to incorporate her into my circle, which is VERY important to me. I also made a good dent in the job search process as I spoke with friends, reconnected with old colleagues, and made some potential new ones. 

In the 7 days I was there I also got to see a 2 year, 9 month old man named Seany-Pants. He is the son of one of my best friends in the world - Dr. Jim. The life of an orthopedic surgeon generally precludes any visits while I am home let alone 2 lengthy ones like we had this time. Despite our closeness, I first met little Sean when he was already 9 months old. I next saw him just after he turned 2 and then this week. 

I had so much fun watching this pre-pre-schooler spell his name and count to 100 by 10s and recite his entire address. When I first met him, he kinda sat there, smiled and farted in my hand. On round 2, he was talkative and fun but how he is on a whole new level of interaction. After my last visit, he woke up the next day asking "where's Jason?" and that was before he would even refer to me by name when we were face to face. This time, he has affectionately dubbed me "Jase" and insists I go everywhere with him. I haven't had the courage to ask Dr. dad what little Sean-pants did the next morning this time around. Clearly, "Uncle Jason" is remiss in his duties of spoiling and/or corrupting this little buddy of mine. 

I know the adults in my life such as my parents and brother or Jim, Alan, and Linda miss me when I'm gone, but they are adults. They "get it." Little man just knows that his playmate was there one day and gone the next. He can't see the greater good of my disappearance such as professional development or duty to country. 

Maybe I've got it all wrong. Maybe Mr. Pants is over it and didn't notice me missing at all. Maybe it's for me. Maybe I realize, in the sweeping changes of a child's face and interaction that I'm missing important, fleeting moments as I while away the time in the heart of Dixie. As the mender of bones said, I see Sean in snapshot with a lot of important stuff missing in between. I said the last part, not Jim. 

Maybe Sean is vaguely aware that there was another person hanging him upside down while biting his belly just a day ago, but can't quite place the source of the tickling torture. I don't know. 

All I do know is that everyone understands I don't love them any less when I leave; it's just something I have to do. All except one. 

Release

As everyone knows, I've been counting the days until I get to go home and become a civilian again. I've been getting progressively more excited as the time wears thin. I'm not long for this job. Plus I have so much to get back to and things are looking up in so many parts of life. At the same time, I have always been dedicated to what I do. I'm always one of the first to show up and last to leave. I got forced to take leave in 2011 by a boss because I'm never not there. I don't generally flaunt my military accomplishments because I'm just a guy doing the best I can, but let's clear a couple of things up. In 8 and a half years, I have never been written up or counseled for negative behavior to even the most minute level. I received my first Air Force Achievement Medal with 11 months in service; something generally picked up with an average of 3 years in service. I am the very first Staff Sergeant/E-5 (as far as anyone who's been here 15-20 years can remember) to be an instructor supervisor; this position is usually held by a Master Sergeant/E-7 or, in a pinch, Technical Sergeant/E-6. This time last year I ran the schoolhouse's evening shift which consisted of 25 instructors and 140 students in my care every day. I was recommended for this position by 2 Chief Master Sergeants. I've done more than one trip to the middle east and back. Bottom line, I've done well in my military career and take serious pride in my work.

I did all of that in spite of having a difficult time adapting to military life at some points. I was 6-7 years older than the average enlistee when I arrived. I dumped years of technical experience that I was told "didn't matter, because my job was to just do." I have been battling, for 2 years, a complex muscle problem in my legs and underwent 4 surgeries for a combined 76 staples used to hold me back together. I showed up to this base on crutches, I taught (standing for 10 hours) with the help of a cane.

I always knew the military would be temporary. It was never part of my life's plan. However, I would give 100% every single day until my life changed. I swallowed hard when I didn't agree with decisions or the system and pressed on. The mission was bigger than me. This job was about the nation, our freedom, more locally - my students. I can pass our tests, I'm not here for me. I'm here to train the next generation. My replacements. And I would do so until my last day here, with excitement and pride.

I had a situation yesterday. A minor hiccup in the scheme of things. I maintain that 99.9% of it had nothing to do with me. The details are less than important. The point is that I went to part of my leadership looking for support. The person I spoke with is someone high enough in the chain to make a decision and someone with whom I have a good rapport - a very good rapport. The response I received was not supportive. I don't mean not supportive enough. I mean not at all. I rarely reach out to people that high on the food chain for assistance, but yesterday it was necessary. I have never been so disappointed in the "military family."

But it's not all bad. There is a positive takeaway from it. As I gear up for a life change and separation fro the military and transition to civilian life, I have always felt a hole. I knew there would be loss. Being home with friends and family in an area I love, making tons of money brings so much good into my life, but leaving behind all I've known for a decade would still present a loss. And I didn't know how I would handle that. After what I saw yesterday, that all changed. I've seen the Air Force changing, and not in a way I liked.

Less than 1% of the US population ever puts the uniform on. I did every day for over 8 years so far. I did my part and then some. I've done all I've been asked to do without complaining and with pride. I've done for my country and now I can do for me. I've always known that, but now I fully feel it. I could walk away tomorrow and be comfortable. I don't need to finish every last day of this enlistment to feel a sense of completion. I have been released and set free from this self-imposed sense of obligation. I don't have to do it JUST because I said I would.

So while I spent most of yesterday upset and disheartened and disappointed; I chose to look at positively. I'm free to walk away guilt free, when the time comes.

TWOC

We go through this every year and, unfortunately, it gets worse every year. The War on Christmas (and more generally, any religion's affiliation to wintery holidays) is pandemic. I personally think it's disgusting. Naturally, I plan to tell you all the reasons why the loony, lefty, liberals are ruining the good natured, spirit of giving in the United States.

But first... some facts. Rhode Island Governor, Lincoln Chafee, an independent, is spewing his non-denominational feces by calling the tree in the front of the state house a "holiday tree." He says that it goes back to the state's roots in 1636 as a haven for tolerance. It seems pretty intolerant to me to not allow Christians to declare their love publicly. Does having a "Christmas tree" mean that Jewish people cannot put up a menorah? If that is the case, then we have a clear case of partiality and the tree should disappear. However, if Jews are free to put up their religious candelabra than I see no conflict. Besides, does any other religion use a tree as a symbol of religious celebration? A tree ONLY belongs to Christmas, just as a menorah ONLY belong to Judaism. There is no overlap. Holiday tree attributes the use of a conifer to multiple religions, which is untrue and waters down the meaning for Christians. How is that tolerant? Tolerance, to me, means that everyone gets a chance to practice how they see fit. A tree is, and has been, a widely accepted practice for many years. What if my tree is placed in a traditional spot in front a window where it can readily be seen by passers-by? Will that be considered a public place and offensive to some even though it is in my home?

How about upstate New York that banned both Christmas and Hanukkah? This is not in an effort to diminish favor for one or the other. This just cancels all holiday spirit. In the same area, teachers are discouraged from saying Merry Christmas. What if the student is Christian? Then they can wish that student well on his or her chosen holiday and Happy Hanukkah to the Jewish students. In order to reach a true level of equality shouldn't we be teaching, and moreover breeding, tolerance for all types of celebrations rather than ignoring their very existence?

I don't understand why we can't embrace all of them. Share the love of your particular holiday while learning about someone else's. I'm all for sending Christmas tree sugar cookies to my Jewish friends in exchange for some macaroons. I once got a Hanukkah card for a friend that had some Matzah and Manischewitz wine on a table with a card that said "For Santa" and inside it said "Just because the guy got the wrong house, doesn't mean he should starve." I thought that was funny. So did he. The point is that I have trees, he has candles. I believe it was Jesus' birthday and so does he - we just see Jesus' role in the world differently, but the Jews don't deny his existence as a person. We all get along. We all have fun. My friend Alan would typically come to my house on Christmas Eve and I'd be at his house for one night of Hanukkah.

Let's also not forget that government regulation and religious infringement by the left aside, Christmas very often has little to do with its namesake, Christ. Santa is not regarding as St. Nick in most circles. Toys r' Us and Hallmark have a majority share in the holiday at this point. It's about cheer and joy and sharing and gratitude and... honestly, shopping. It's commercialized and consumer-centric more than anything. Watering down the holidays by removing the names will make it more about the greeting card than the message it contains. We absolutely CANNOT say Christmas and ignore other holidays. I've focused on the Christmas and Hanukkah here, but I know there are others. Give everyone an equal share and move on. Getting rid of the source of all holidays does nothing but cannibalize their true meanings and further distance us from history, culture and a deeper sense of giving and joy. It makes it more about commercialism than it already is.

I believe that separation of Church and state means that the state will not endorse any one religion over another nor will it use any religious dogma as its guiding principles for law or judgment of the people over which it presides and governs. It doesn't mean that we cannot publicly embrace all religions and celebrate, as a means to love our neighbors, any religion that they may subscribe to. Anyone who sees religious symbols during a holiday time as blurring the line of the separation is mutating the intent of it to suit their needs. It's a disgusting molestation of celebrators during an important time of the year and needs to be completely suspended.

So, to the Christians I saw Merry Christmas. To the Jews I say Happy Hanukkah. To everyone else, insert religion specific greeting on your special day, whatever that may be. Feel free to let your flags fly and represent yourselves and your beliefs and escape religious persecution and diminution this holiday season. Let's take this country back to its real roots of freedom of expression and religion they way it was designed.

Let's NOT be friends and the FBO mentality

Some time ago, I wrote about everyone friend requesting everyone (Let's be friends). Whether you know that person or not, and I mean really know the person, you have to friend request them. This is why I love the unsubscribe feature on Facebook. I can be friends with you and interact, but I don't need to see you cluttering up my feed the with things that aren't important to me - like how many hours you spent in labor or the fact that your kid hasn't had a solid shit in 2 weeks. If my closest friends in the world told me these things, they'd be somewhat important because they are real friends in the inner sanctum of my life. If I haven't seen you in 15 years, I'm not going to be sympathetic to the long retail shifts you work. It's not me being an asshole. It's the fact that we are just not close. However, if I delete you, then we will never BE close. So there's something to be said for remaining friends without populating each other's timelines with every piece of useless, inane minutia in our lives. Additionally, the subscribe function is amazing, although few people turned it on. If you kind of know me or know of me or simply want to know what I have to say, then you can subscribe to me without being friends. Anything I mark public, you'll see. If I mark it for friends only, then you won't. It's a happy middle ground. I'm getting a little off track here. The point is that Facebook statuses have become the mark of what is real and what is not. Want to know where you stand with someone? Check Facebook. There's even the phrase for relationships, "It ain't official until it's Facebook official" or simply, FBO.

What people fail to realize is that it's not about Facebook. Friending or unfriending someone on Facebook is not the be all, end all to relationships, but it does mean something. 15 years ago we'd tell the world when we had a break up or a falling out or even on the good side of things and we'd do it with 900 phone calls. Now we have a new vehicle. It's mass marketing. Hey, for anyone interested, I'm in a relationship/my cat died/I dropped a 9 inch turd/I'm moving to Bolivia/etc. Saves time in our transient lives. It's also a voice for the voiceless. For people who have less interaction and don't hold the attention of others, it's a way to make a statement. Facebook aggregates the lives of so many people. The status isn't what's important. The action someone takes to change it, is.

I had 2 different FBO changes over the past couple of days. They are most certainly related and they are in opposite directions. Apparently, one begets the other. Here's the story. For many, many years I've known someone. We were never particularly close, but always friendly. Truthfully, this person was friends with my brother and since we knew each other we were Facebook friends. Back in September or early October, I guess, we got to chatting via some iPhone help and then continued chatting from there. There was a minor amount of flirting and a tentative plan to have a drink when I visit around Christmas. Not long after we began chatting there was a miscommunication and TWO very LOOOOONG conversations via text message about communication and feelings in depth about what was to come. That was, for me, insanity and way too deep for 2 people who only ever spoke when they happened to be in the same room, had recently started to speak independently and had nothing beyond tentative plans to have a drink, which could have just as easily been a session of catching up since I'm never in town. Things basically died on the vine right then and there.

Then I met Linda. Things have been great. We've been getting to know each other by talking nonstop. Lots in common. Lots of interest. Lots of fun. I saw her this past weekend and we had an amazing time. We had been waffling on the whole relationship title thing. Were we together before we met. We felt it and acted it, but the world wouldn't understand. Could we even say it on the first weekend or should we wait? It all revolved around what other people would think, which I rarely give a shit about, but going through the story over and over again seemed like a hassle so maybe we should play the game of society and say nothing for a while. By the end of the weekend, that wasn't an option. We were clearly an item, forsaken all others, and wanted the world to know all about it - more importantly, there was no sense in keeping quiet. So, we changed the Facebook status and began calling ourselves a couple and went FBO. Woohoo! I say that with partial sarcasm because it annoys me a little bit that Facebook has become the grand delineator for what qualifies as a relationship, yet it is what it is and I'm happy to be at that point with her.

Back to the first situation. She sells some costume type jewelry and I thought my mom may like some for Christmas, so I went to her page to check it out. To my surprise, I had been unfriended. I asked if there was a mistake and I was told that there was not and it was a purposeful action because of my new relationship. Apparently, my actions being told on Facebook were being thrown in the Face of the scorned and that led to the deletion. So that's what I meant when I said that one FBO action begot another. It happens from time to time. People are so very invested in relationships via Facebook that the actions they take speak loudly. It's not about the status, as I mentioned earlier. It's about that someone is using the current vehicle (Facebook) to deliver a message. Rather than ignoring, it becomes about screaming to the world that this person no longer qualifies to be in your circle.

Rather than just knowing that Linda and I are a happy couple, we proclaim it to the world for everyone's approval. We wonder why more people haven't "liked" it yet. There is no more activity that you know someone, you like them, you give them a call to say hello and grab a drink. Everything is so clearly defined all the time. The edges of relationships are hard lines, not shading and blending. You're friends or you're not. You're in a relationship or your not and it's all defined not only by how you feel, but also by whether or not you're Facebook official about it. This goes on with business associates on LinkedIn as well. "Ehh, yeah I worked with the guy, but I'm not sure I want to accept his request."

It's an interesting dynamic that has been added into relationships (of all types) in the social age. This is the first time that one FBO action created another FBO action for me though. It's interesting to me.

Nice Rug

I've been out of New Jersey for 8 and a half years and some things have changed. The big one that applies to this week is the NJ bear hunt. I have to say that I don't know much about the reasoning behind it beyond the little bit I see here and there. First things first, I have absolutely ZERO issue with it. I'm not moved in the least.

Growing up, I never saw a bear. Hearing about bears in our part of NJ never happened. To my knowledge there was no bear hunt at that time either. If there was, it wasn't well publicized like it is today. I tend to think it didn't even happen, but I could be wrong. Bears were not part of our life back then. Since that time, the numbers of their population have, obviously, been on the rise. I remember the first time a bear got stuck in a tree in Powder Mill (the neighborhood my parents live in, for those not from the area). It was big news. People were taking pictures, folks from all over came to see a bear in a tree in a residential area, and it took the police/forestry/whoever several days to get it down. By now, bears in the area aren't something people even bat an eye at. That, to me, means there are too many of them. When it happens so much that you inure yourself to the event, you become complacent. Maybe bears are naturally peaceful, but any animal, when provoked, will defend itself. Provocation can be anything. I don't know how a bear's mind works. Given the people, houses, cars, noises, etc, it's safe to say that NJ neighborhoods are not the natural habitat for bears. And let's face facts, even when provoked and angered, a squirrel will not eat your face. Maybe a bear will, maybe it won't; but it has the ability to.

Should we be decimating forests and creating living environments where bears once roamed freely? I don't know, probably not, but we're people. There's a hierarchy and a food chain here. We are above bears and other quadrupeds on that food chain. So if we need a place to live, then so be it. The anti-bear hunt movement people are certainly complaining from their homes, not a hut in the woods where they peacefully coexist with nature.

Bears pose a risk to people, end of story. Whether they are an actual risk at every moment is not the point. They are big and heavy with the capability to do damage to a person or a vehicle. They are not evolved and cannot communicate with us. We can't sit and come to a peaceful resolution with a bear. We have to protect ourselves and our children. It's a pretty simple equation.

The fact that there is a bear hunt week shows good planning. It is not open season all year round. You can't just run around town shooting every black, furry creature you find. It is right before hibernation season, which, I believe, is also gestation season for the females. In the spring there are hungry, sleepy-eyed bears looking for food. Let's make sure your 5-year old is not the nearest snack.

If having a week out of the year where we can hold a managed, planned event that helps thin the population of a potentially dangerous animal and protects our own species, then why not? Let's not also forget the one fact that the "save Yogi-ists" seem to overlook. We build. More buildings, concrete, roads, cars, etc. Less trees, bushes, berries, etc. Put those together and it's less food and living spaces for the bears. Then add in the fact that when a mama bear and a papa bear love each other very much they make little bears. More bears, less food. That means they're looking for YOUR porridge, even if it's in the cupboard. We are all aware that bears have a keen sense of smell, yes? Thinning the bear population not only protects people, but also allows the ones that live to have more at their disposal.

I'm not a hunter. I can't shoot and butcher a bear. I don't have the intestinal fortitude to do so. I am emotionally and morally equipped, just not digestively. If I had it in me to disembowel Winnie the Pooh, then I would. I'd certainly do that before I let him eat my trash, my flowers, my food, and my head. Plus, bear rugs are comfy.

See you soon

It's such a short and sweet saying. One filled with short term disappointment, but long term hope and something to look forward to. It's better than goodbye. When soon is defined (in my case 16 days), it should be easy. Knowing I'll see her soon, makes it bearable to een let her leave. Knowing that I have a mere 2 weeks of work before I'm home to my friends, my family and my Linda for Christmas is so much easier to swallow than 2 months, for example.

However, this morning I took her to the airport after a long weekend that was one of the best I can ever remember. We had so much fun, we're identical and, quite simply, perfect for each other. Whether we were people watching in New Orleans, drinking beer while watching the Jets game, curled up watching (and falling asleep to) a movie or having a spontaneous, pretend boxing match in the living room, it was all smiles and laughs. At one point, she caught a giggle fit that seems nearly uncontrollable and persisted for several minutes (spurred on by nothing, I might add).

Two weeks may not be a lot of time and it'll fly by. It's a blink in the scheme of things and will ne a non-entity in retrospect. My logic tells me to not really care about something so short. Plus any negativity associated with saying "see you soon" is simply because the weekend was so positive and awesome. That should be the focus. It should anyway.

But this morning when I hugged and kissed Linda goodbye and told her I'd see her soon, it felt awful. I wanted soon to mean "after work." I wanted soon to mean when she got home from shopping. I didn't want soon to be a euphemism for goodbye. And it's not goodbye, we know that. It's see you soon, but after the last few days I spent with her, soon is not soon enough. We spent every minute of the weekend together, excepting bathroom breaks, and it didn't feel like enough.

I've had other relationships. My friends have made it abundantly clear we all know I've even had other Lindas. It's always exciting and fun in the beginning. For me though, it's NEVER been so effortless and frictionless. It's never been without a little hiccup. It's never been impossible to find something we don't have in common. It's never been so perfect.

So, this time, saying see you soon, feels like an eternity. I know I'll be criticized by some and there's a contingent of people that look for opportunities to use my words to emasculate me. I've had my ups and downs and we all wait for that opportunity to arrive where soon is never soon enough. Mine is about to land in Houston airport, headed away from me and all I can do is convince myself that 16 days is soon.