Top of the Hops Beerfest

So last night was the Top of the Hops Beerfest here in Biloxi. I was on a mission to have a 2 ounce shot from all 150 beers. I have to admit that after about a dozen of these shots I realized it may be harder than initially anticipated. The variety of types made it tough. Plus I only had 4 hours to do it in. Given the amount of shots to do and the amount of people walking around it was mathematically impossible to have them all. So here's the list of what I managed to get:

Brewery-Beer

Abita Brewing Company-Turbodog
Abita Brewing Company-Restoration
Anchor Brewing-Anchor Steam
Anheuser-Busch-Budweiser American Ale
Anheuser-Busch-AmberBock
Atlanta Brewing Company-Red Brick Blonde
Beck's Brewery-Becks
Blue Moon Brewing Company-Belgian White
Blue Moon Brewing Company-Spring Blonde Wheat Ale
Carlesburg USA-Kronenbourg 1664
Covington Brewhouse-Ponchartrain Pilsner
Czechvar-Czechvar
Flying Dog Brewery-Doggie Style
Flying Dog Brewery-Tire Bite Golden Ale
Grolsch Brewery-Premium Lager
In Bev-Stell Artois
Jacob Leinenkugel's Brewing Company-Berry Weiss
Jacob Leinenkugel's Brewing Company-Sunset Wheat
JW Dundee-Honey Brown Lager
Kirin Brewery Co-Ichiban
McSorley's Brewery-Irish Pale Ale
McSorley's Brewery-Black Lager
Michelob Brewing Company-Pale Ale
Mike's Hard Lemonade-Margarita Lime
Mike's Hard Lemonade-Lemonade
Mike's Hard Lemonade-Black Cherry
Mike's Hard Lemonade-Cranberry Lemonade
Mike's Hard Lemonade-Strawberry Lemonade
Newcastle-Newcastle Brown
Pabst Brewing Company-Pabst Blue Ribbon
Peroni Brewery-Peroni
Pilsner Urquell Brewery-Pilsner Urquell
Rogue Ales-Dead Guy Ale
Rolling Rock Beer-Rolling Rock
Rolling Rock Beer-Rolling Rock Light
Samuel Adams-Boston Lager
Samuel Adams-Noble Pils
Smirnoff-Ice
Smirnoff-Blueberry Lemonade
Smirnoff-Green Apple
Spoetzl Brewery-Brewery Bock
Spoetzl Brewery-Spring Ale Dortmunder
St. Pauli Brauerei-St. Pauli Girl
Woodchuck Draft Cider-Amber
Woodchuck Draft Cider-Granny Smith

Those are the 45 I tasted in about 2 hours. If there was less of a crowd I could have gotten through much more of the list. Many of what I got to taste were delicious and new. Tasting new beers is an excellent way to spend an evening.

A lesson in language

I've spoken about this topic before but I think it needs to be said again. Chances are it will need to be said in the future again. And it'll never have an impact and nobody will change, but I'm going to feel it anyway. That's the magic of a blog. I can say whatever I want. You can not like it all you want. You can't dare shut  me up. You can make your own blog. You can leave me comments, but I can still say what I want. On with the show…

You may have noticed that last week my Facebook count went from about 1,000,000 to 0. The last post before my strike, break, hiatus, etc had said that I was going into Facebook hibernation because I could no longer take the stupidity and lack of education. It only lasted a week because regardless of that, there's a lot of information to be found there.

That, however, is not a free pass to idiocy. Let me make one thing clear. I understand mistakes. I'm not without my own flaws. I have just as many as the next guy, if not more. I'm also not infallible. Even things I know how to do, I sometimes get wrong. We all err. What I'm talking about is the inability to use knowledge that started getting poured into at age 5. I'm talking about foundational information about basic spelling, sentence structure, word usage and English mechanics. This is not taught only at college. This is not taught in first grade and left alone for the next 11 years. This is started early on and built on throughout your education and reiterated and reinforced. You're reminded of it constantly. Yet it seems to be of so little importance to so many people that I fear for where we are headed. If our generation cares so little; what will we pass on to the next?

I mentioned some of these the last time:

• too = also. "I'll be there too." Think of the extra person/item/etc as the extra O.
• you're = you are. the ' should clue you in that it used to be 2 words
• their = ownership. I'm going to there house is not correct - at all.


Then there's things like:

• i could of gone, but didn't. Could of. Think about that. Does it make any sense?  It's could've. Another ' there. What did we just learn that means? It was 2 words. Could have.
• Gone. Use gone… not went. I could have went. WRONG. I went. We went. He/she/it went. I/You/We/He/She/It could've gone.
• Then and than. Then is a timeline. This happened and then this happened. Than compares. This is better than that.


Forget slang in type. We speak in slang because it's faster and we're lazy. If you're making 1000 posts per day and still type slowly, work on it. Typing in this nonsense language makes you look like an idiot. Someone on Facebook made a post about not jumping off a bridge if his friends did. Rather he'd be at the bottom to catch them. Here is a friend's response (a friend who is an adult with a legitimate career type job):
"id b at tha bottom to catch em then answer my phone rite b4 dey landed lmao j/p"

There is a huge difference between using shorthand and sounding like an ignorant fool. I say things like "gonna" instead of "going to." I understand shorthand. It makes sense. The above quote is not shorthand. Tha and the are the same amount of letters.

The real issue at hand is not the typos. It's not even the lack of education or the mistakes in and of themselves. Our educational system has its flaws. English is said to be the most difficult language to learn because of all the exceptions to all the rules. This, however, is also not a free pass to idiocy.

I take issue with the lack of caring. People make mistakes and don't care. People make mistakes and are almost proud of them. If you correct someone, you're a spelling Nazi; you're an asshole. You get told "Who cares if I spell shit wrong?" Well…um… an employer might. Who cares if they meant to say "you're hired," but said, "you're not hired." By not caring, I'm also including the people who make light of it. This happens in 2 ways. The first is when people make excuses, "Oh I was typing and not paying attention and must have mis-hit a key," to which I reply "Really? The last 37 times in a row? No, you just don't know the usage." The other way is when people aren't sure if you're talking about them, but they know they're guilty and say, "Oh that bothers you? I can't imagine what you think of what I say then." So you know you do it, but you're going to be dismissive about it? That basically says, "I do it too. It annoys you. I'm not going to stop. I hope you don't tell me directly how it makes you feel."

I've also been told, "It's the Internet. It doesn't matter." Au contraire. It matters even more on the Internet. Why? Because the entire globe can see it. Because we are looked upon as lazy, self-indulgent Americans. Because we are no longer the world's greatest superpower. We're broke, we're are war, we're pushy with our politics and now… now we're stupid too. Yet, for caring about seeing people I know sound like intelligent, functioning members of society I'm the pedantic, pontificating, pretentious (anymore P words?) asshole.

So if you see me stop responding to you online; if I delete you; or if I disappear for chunks of time - it's because while you're saying things like "im goin to there house for dis party," I'm off bettering myself because I like being smart. I like making money. I like being respected. I've never been proud of mistakes and I've never understood why it was cool to sound dumb.

I'm sure in six months I'll be frustrated enough to do this all over again.

The business of business is business

If you are a football fan or watch the news you may have heard about the seat debacle at the Super Bowl two days ago. Jerry Jones wanted to sell more tickets than any other Super Bowl. So they put in new, temporary seats - 1200 of them. Then the fire marshal came along and made most of them get removed. The folks left standing were given an apology and a ticket to next year's Super Bowl. The argument is that what if their teams are not in next year's big game? Then they still get to see a Super Bowl, which most people do not, or they sell the tickets for a ton of cash. Mistakes were made. I get that. Reparations were attempted. It's not like Jerry Jones screwed these people on purpose. Shit happens.

I read an article today by Sally Jenkins of The Washington Post that disgusted me. She rambled on and on about bloated prices and "Jerry World" and $19 margaritas, $12 wine, and $10 beer. She complained about the precedent that was set this year by having the Super Bowl at Dallas Stadium being that it's so extravagant and beautiful and fancy and expensive. She complained about the football being about the money and a multi-billion dollar industry (the NFL generates $9 billion annually itself). She actually called the NFL a "divorced-from-reality-debauch."

People are in business to make money, plain and simple. If I charged you a dollar to read this article, you MIGHT pay it. If I charged $3/month and ensured weekly postings, you MAY pay it. If I charged you $15 every time you clicked on this site, you absolutely would not pay it. So it's a simple case of supply and demand. People are buying the $19 margaritas. They are spending hundreds and hundreds of dollars on tickets. The first time a stadium has 6 people there for a game because fans can't afford to go, ticket prices will be adjusted.

Dallas Stadium was VERY expensive and taxpayers financed a part of it. That's the way it goes. Ever ask a Texan about football? It is the biggest thing in Texas; and everything in Texas is already pretty big. They love their football. They love their Cowboys. They go to the games and pay the prices and support the team. Do you think smaller market teams can afford a stadium like that? I don't see Kansas City looking for a replica of the stadium in Dallas any time soon. Even New York, as huge as it is, has its teams share a stadium - and the stadium is in New Jersey. Sure they got a huge tax break on the privately financed stadium. Yes, Ms. Jenkins, the deficit for New Jersey is $36 billion. Football is not a charity. The NFL doesn't owe anybody anything. It is entertainment. People are being entertained. Done. Are teams and the NFL skipping out their respective tabs and not paying taxes? Are they defrauding the government? If so, call the IRS. If not, then their debts are settled.

You had the nerve to actually say, "We've allowed league owners to cash in on American pride, and hunger for entertainment. We should insist they share American economic problems." This sentence is s poorly thought out. They cashed in on pride, sure but mostly it was fans who are proud of their local team and hometown heroes. They cashed in on our hunger for entertainment? THEY'RE ENTERTAINERS. If they didn't then you'd bitch they got paid for nothing. Insist they share our economic problems? You are a lunatic, plain and simple. What kind of crazy, socialist are you that thinks that the NFL should pay down our debt? Are you screaming for Apple to pay off California's debt because it's the richest company there? What about Microsoft in Washington? Since when is it the responsibility of a FOR PROFIT company to dip into those profits to help a state? If they want to, great. That's some nice goodwill, but to insist? I insist you quit your job immediately and stop poisoning America with your words. Am I going to get my way? No. Because you wrote that and someone agreed to print it. Just the way they charge $10 for a beer and someone agrees to pay.

I have had it with this hand holding, star wishing, rainbow shitting, s'more making, Kumbaya singing, let's help each other socialist society. Since when did the loony, lefty, liberals get so feisty anyway? They're not insistent usually. Anyway, I've had it. If I own a business to make a buck and I make a buck, then nobody else deserves my buck. And rest assured, nobody will get it. If I decide that my product that's worth a buck should be sold for 10 bucks and people flock to spend 10 times more than it's worth, then guess what? I'm gonna sell it for 10 bucks. It's called buyer beware.

Would you spend $80,000 on a Kia? No. But if someone says they have a Kia for sale at that price and stupid, uninformed people throw money at that guy... well who is he to say no? The business of business is business. The business of business is not social responsibility and caring for the feelings of people. I'm not saying to screw people intentionally.

Back to football for a minute. Fans want big plays. Nobody gets excited watching them run the ball up the gut for a yard. People want long runs, big passes, interceptions. This requires excellent players risking their bodies. Fans want a longer season. That's more injuries. That's more training. That's more of everything. Unless the center wants to get creamed by a 300-pound nose tackle and do it all pro bono, I'd say we better pay these men, these warriors, these modern day gladiators. When you're physically beaten so badly that you're career is over at an age when most industries are at their height, you need compensation. It's a game and you play it because you love it. Fans love it too and they pay to watch you play.

This is not just about football. This is about Apple selling a phone for $600 and a tablet for $800. This is about upscale bars with $30 martinis. This is about Samsung updating it's line of TVs twice a year in hopes people will keep putting out the shekels to pay for it. No company will intentionally go broke. So, talk to the people about overpaying. When the well runs dry, the companies will figure it out. Until then, leave it alone.

They charge, we pay. Such is the fiscal circle of life.

Are you lucky? Is anyone lucky?

I was thinking about luck today. I feel like I'm very lucky in many ways. I'm lucky to have the family that I do. I'm lucky to be in relative good health (above the hips anyway, as you all know about my crazy leg problems). That's not the kind of luck I'm thinking about.

I'm talking about having good luck. Finding a buck on the ground. Winning at a casino. That sort of thing. I don't think I like attributing that stuff to luck. That makes it seem so mystical and something I have no control over. Maybe I'll be lucky, maybe I won't. I guess I have to wait and see if good things happen. Maybe my luck will change unexpectedly. Is my life not in my own hands?

A quick Google search about luck quotes will yield tons of results about luck being connected to opportunity. I've always heard the quote as - luck is merely recognizing opportunity. I like this concept.

Let's say you find a dollar on the ground. Are you lucky or did you recognize the opportunity to pick up a dollar? Think about it like this - that dollar was going to be on the ground whether you walked by that spot or not. It would have been there whether you picked it up or not. Your interaction with that dollar did nothing to impact how, why, or when it was there. So you recognized the opportunity to pick up a dollar. Maybe it's crumpled and doesn't look like a dollar but you recognize it and grab it.

I'll use the casino reference as well. In the 16 months I've been living in Biloxi, MS I have never lost at the craps tables. Sure, I might go down a little bit while I'm playing but I cash out even or with a profit every single time. Am I just that lucky that a multi-billion dollar per year industry that wipes out people's life savings and destroys homes just happens to pay me? I'd hate that. At that point I might as well hand money to the dealer and tell him to let me know if I was destined to be lucky and win or not. I'll tell you why I win. I studied the game in detail. I know the odds. I did the math. I play smart and conservative. I hedge my bets. I'm very careful about the flow and placement of every chip. It is all about leveraging. How much luck does that sound like?

Maybe I'm too pragmatic. Maybe all of life is not about numbers. I do think, however, that luck is not something that is magically bestowed on you for no real reason at some time in your life and it is taken away just as suddenly.

There are opportunities out there. They exist at all times in all places. You may see them and take advantage. You may not. Remember, that dollar is going to be on the ground. Recognize it and pick it up. If that is the definition of luck, then I am lucky because I'm aware and observant. I'm never complacent. I want more; to know more, do more, have more, experience more, feel more. I keep my eyes wide open and absorb all I can so when that opportunity is presented, I don't walk on by.

Can't start already

It's January 9th. Nine lousy days into the new year and I've already managed to complain about things. It's too early to be down in the dumps. Some people may say that there's only one way to go when you're feeling down, but I don't want to be down to go up. I want to be up and stay there. I want to feel good. I don't even think that I feel down because the things that happened in the last nine days are truly so awful. I think it is because I had such high hopes and I entered the new year with everything I wanted surrounding me. The speed at which things changed left me reeling. Plus it wasn't very clear cut, was it? Ups and downs and lots of unsure moments.

It wasn't until less than 48 hours ago that things were decided for sure. Granted, the decision was not what I was hoping for and did not restore me to the euphoric mood I was in as 2011 swooped in, but it was a decision nonetheless. Limbo is the worst place for me to be. I can handle good news or bad news, but dangling in the middle is just torturous for me. I don't like the decision. I think it sucks and I don't agree with it. However, "ours is not to make reply, ours is not to reason why, ours is but to do or die." Sometimes we have no choice but go along with it.

It's January 9th. I'm healthy, I love my job, my Jets won the first playoff game last night, I have some of the most wonderful family and friends a guy could hope for. Life could be worse. In no time at all (in the scheme of things) this wound will scab over and no longer sting. Eventually it'll scar, not like some of the major catastrophes in life, but it'll leave a mark anyway.

The point is that it'll all be fine. It sucks now but I have 356 more days in 2011. That is a long way to go and I'll be damned if I'm gonna set the tone for the whole year by starting off miserable. I've lost but I'll recover. As has been said before - "Life's challenges only strengthen me."

So this year I have a list of priorities and things to do that are productive and helpful.
1 - My job - that I absolutely love
2 - Work on that college degree (I'll be within 3-4 classes by the end of 2011)
3 - Examiner.com articles and VigTheGeek.com videos
4 - JayVigMedia.com
5 - Bringing Tech-City.biz back to life

That is where my focus will be. Romance... maybe one day, but for now I have enough that needs to get done, not to mention all the other silly pipe dreams that'll pop into my head and distract me. I think this year will be MY year and that means no sharing for a while. Focused, driven, directed energy and purposeful decisions. I'll keep you posted.

5 days of cliches

I recently wrote about potential and shortly thereafter about learning to fish. Both of those revolved around a single situation. The post about learning to fish was nonsensical. It was early worry on my part. It resolved itself nearly by the time the post went live. The post about potential, however, really had something to it. There was SO much of that potential there. Not dissimilar to when that first ray of light breaks through the clouds on an overcast day and suddenly the rest bursts through right behind it, we had our overcast day followed by sunshine. Maybe we were counting our chickens before they hatched.

I had planned to take a short trip to New Jersey for Christmas, but as luck would have it a dumping of snow precluded my on time departure. This created a gap in time from when I was supposed to be home and when I actually got home, leaving no smiles in Mississippi but worry and waiting and anxiety. When I arrived on Thursday evening I was met with an ear to ear grin, a hug that nearly squeezed the breath out of me and a request to pinch her just to verify I was actually there. By the next afternoon, she was sure I as in the flesh and we realized that the rules of tags and names and titles were stupid. We missed each other, we were happy, we should legitimately be together. And so we were - starting the new year off together happier than either of us have been in quite some time. We, effectively, put all of our eggs in one proverbial basket.

We spent all weekend together, making plans for events from dinners with friends to a ridiculous trip to the Kentucky Derby. Hugs, kisses, laughs, fun, jokes, smiles and genuine messages of happiness and contentment sent through the eyes were par for the course all weekend. Even actual exchanges of reassurance that this was all ok with both had been whispered throughout the weekend. As they say, it takes two to tango.

Monday arrived and something was clearly amiss. I chalked it up to a long weekend that was quickly finding its way to a conclusion and the return to the daily grind. Maybe the stressors of getting back into a routine played a part as well and promptly dismissed any issue, backed by evidence that "we" were well, as shown by overt affection and genuine happiness. We were in, what we were calling, "our bubble." The outside world did not matter while we were in our bubble. Our bubble was so exclusive that it was, briefly, to the detriment of the feelings of our friends. But we were new and excited and even spoke about how we liked our bubble and knew it would end, despite how badly we wished it wouldn't. However, we would make every effort to hang onto our bubble as long as we could.

Then some things happened, as things often do. Reality struck. We were dating or seeing each other and then suddenly we were together. We were a couple in a relationship, complete with pet names and a near 96 hour streak in each other's company. The suddenness was swiftly followed by a feeling of entrapment and panic, which, in turn, created a fight or flight reaction. She chose flight.

I now sit before you in limbo. We are somewhere between something and nothing. I'm hoping to land on the former when the Yo-Yo action slows down. What needs to be decided is when things will get back to normal, but more importantly, IF things will get back to normal.

So there is my current iteration of the ebb and flow of relationships; the yin and yang of happiness and heartbreak. There is my tale of 5 days of cliches.

Learn to fish

I have never been a big fan of fishing. I can say that it's because I have a tendency to get seasick. I can say it is because this city boy has no need to put my fingers in the mouth of a fish or pull its guts out. I can even say that it goes as deep and nutty as I stay away from a lazy pastime that parades itself as a sport. In reality, there's one simple reason. I don't like the passive-aggressive nature of that activity, specifically on the part of the fish. I know that the real anglers will say the fish wants to be caught but that give and take that can go on for hours is not what I'm about. I like clearly defined roles. I like things to be linear and progressive. Reel some in, let some out, reel in more, let more out. Three steps forward, two steps back. I'm a man, it's a fish. It should be an open and shut case of me reeling it in.

As you can imagine, none of what I have to say today is about fish or the act of entrapment of fish. It is clearly a metaphor for something bigger. At least I see a connection between fishing and what else is really on my mind; you may not. Let me just say that I can almost see the need for that relationship with a fish. There is no way to level with the fish and say - "Listen, you're a damn fish. We all know who is gonna win this. Let's just save some time and get you in the bucket in my boat." You can't reason with a fish or gain perspective. A fish can't say back, "I hear ya buddy, but see... I was on my way home to the wife and kids so this whole catching and eating me thing just isn't gonna work out for me. How about we part ways and just call it good?"

I suppose the complexity inherent in being a person higher on the food chain is enough to mean that our also complex communication abilities don't hold. Maybe life is zero sum after all. What I mean to say is that I, in my unrealistically idealistic and utopian mind, I think that people should always be able to communicate. To the contrary, our complex wants, desires, thoughts, internal musings and lack of communication often create a deep-rooted inability to bring things to the surface.

Let's look at my behavior for a moment. My mind is a constant game of chess. Every iteration of the game from the first movement of a pawn unfurls in my mind. I have a proclivity to determine every possible move and outcome of any situation. I, often, make no move in the first place if I can't be sure how it will all work out. Other times, I make a move and commit to its path and hope the other party makes the moves I foresaw. Rarely do either work out so I try to be adaptable to things that change and adjust accordingly; try being the operative word.

Enter the human dynamic. Not only can you not count on the actions of another to be what you expected; rarely can you count on the actions of another to be what they expected. Here is where you find your favorite, long-winded friend today. Confused and feeling a little like the rug came out from under me. Let me see if I can explain yet remain abstract.

I was heading down a road at a certain speed. All was well. Suddenly I picked up speed, but there as no resistance. To that end, I was encouraged. All was well. Now there was momentum. Suddenly, there was a wall in the way. I did not see this wall nor was I warned about this wall. All was not well. Rather than alerting me, my "travel companion" saw fit to jump from the vehicle to safety. It was then that I was told that the increased speed was problematic, but it was too late. Even slamming on the breaks did not stop me in time and inertia sent me careening headlong into the wall. When I came to from the shock and suddenness, I knew that the damage was total. I was given an estimate that shows it's reparable but there is no corroborating evidence. All is still not well.

Now I will spend time alone at the crash site trying to determine if the road is safe for passage or if this means it will fork and I will soldier on down a new road, on a new journey, on my own. If I had my way, I would have one of three things. The first would be to back up and repeat at the same rate sans wall. The second would be, downshift in time to slow down which would mean by the time the wall was reached, it would no longer be there. The last would be telltale signs of the existence of this wall early enough to make it avoidable.

I guess that's the difference between me and most people. When things change I have to adapt and this forces me to be reactive rather than proactive. I just don't see the changes coming in the near term because I'm fixated on the goal. I try to sprint a marathon and end up doing so alone. People don't want to take up that task and consequently, when I look to my sides I realize they aren't there.  I don't understand the ways of letting out some line and reeling some back in over and over.

Maybe I should find new ways of handling these situations. Maybe I should be less black and white; less pragmatic. Maybe I should just learn to fish.

Potential

It seems major upheavals bring out the blogger in most people. Everyone wants to eviscerate their enemies with a pen (not literally, of course. That would just be gross). Rarely do we find topics of hope or... potential. In electronic/electrical industries we talk about potential to determine different electrical properties of metals, for example. In life we define potential as a perceived future value of something. Its ability to develop into something with time. Many times we don't know what will be, but we see potential for something terrific.

I have to tell you that lately my life has been on a tremendous upswing. I cut out the deadweight and drama by getting rid of the wife. That tied up fairly smoothly and I'm not really worse for the wear. I think we can all agree that parting ways was, by far, the best decision. Another life lesson - with take-aways to be used as we grow.

I'm still plugging along at school and knocking that out as best as I can, although this history class may prove to be something of a challenge. I have a hard time being invested in the re-Stalinization of Soviet Russia. Progress is progress and I suppose this will help shape me as a person.

I got a bit of a bump at the job. I'm not making any more money and my only real compensation is more work and responsibility - at least on the tangible side. Beyond that, it is a wonderful opportunity for personal and professional growth.

After a year of being here and the dust from the divorce settling down, I have been fortunate enough to have my friends clearly outlined for me. Some old friends, some new friends - I have found who is important during an important time.

None of that is what I'm here to tell you about though. I wanted to talk about potential. Those are all good things. Those have all been proven. What else is there that is new and possibly good? Where is the potential?

A couple of months ago I met someone through my friends. She was just another friend. We would all hang out and have a blast together. Sure, I thought she was quite attractive right from jump street but didn't think much of it beyond that. As time went on, I'd have my curiosity piqued at certain points but for one reason or another, I would always disregard.

One week ago, on Thanksgiving we were all together. We cooked, we ate, we drank. We conversed and played games. The night began to wind down. As energy was sapped, either from partying or tryptophan we both took up residence on alternative parts of our friends' "L" shaped couch. As we sleepily chatted, something happened. There was this connection that you only hear about or see Hollywood-ized in Meg Ryan movies. Not only did I feel it, but she felt it and you know what... each knew for a fact that the other felt it. It wasn't spoken about at the time, but we knew.

Over the subsequent days, we've been in contact often. By often, I mean nearly nonstop. We text when we can't talk. We talk when we can. Hours zip by without realization. We talk about real things. We talk about nonsense. We laugh. We laugh a lot. There's never been a dull moment in our friendship and there's not one now in our... whatever this is right now... exploratory time, perhaps?

I love that she has a head for business - she loves finance (how perfect is that for me?) I love that she'll crack up hysterical when I wax intellectual about about why I don't eat living things like yogurt or how waffle fries are better because the waffles hold more ketchup. She doesn't flinch when I make up words on the spot because they fit in context and make me laugh. And then we somehow effortlessly segue into deep talk about fears and goals. Even when this transpires over text message or phone, it's like I'm there. I know her face when she laughs so well that I can see it even when I can't see it.

Could this be the novelty of something new? Possibly. Could it be someone that proves to be an awesome friend but doesn't go deeper? I suppose so. Could this be something amazing? Also plausible.

That is why we talk about potential. I have no crystal ball. If I did, I'd be on a beach somewhere laughing at the morons who missed 100 different IPOs or maybe I'd have created Google or the iPhone. I don't know what the future holds. But I know when to recognize potential and invest in it. To foster and nurture it and see just how it grows.

As I said earlier, potential is not only a measurement of how far we believe something will go. It is a comparison between to similar objects. When two metals, for instance, have the same potential, it is a match. There is no impedance between them. Impedance is also known as resistance.

I have no idea where Kimber and I will be in a year, a month or even a week. I do, however, know that our potential means I'm prepared to find out.

September Blues

I've been so wrapped up with all the nonsensical stuff in my life lately that it only occurred to me at this very moment that it is the 5th of September. Now comes the sudden snap back to reality, complete with painful whiplash. My recent relationship split has taken precedence over everything in my life whether it has seemed it or not. Ok, let's look at that in detail. I'm not upset by it. It's for the best. I'm not missing it. I'm not regretful. But make no mistake, it is a big change. Day to day life requires an enormous adjustment, if nothing else.

Trying to find my "new normal" has been harder than anything else. When do you date? What is it like to shop and cook for one again? Menial tasks around the house that were split or assumed by one person or the other fall on my squarely on my shoulders alone. Long term plans that revolved around building a life now need to be rethought. Some of them are immediately outmoded. Others need to be put into play for myself. Back to the drawing board.

None of that is important though. Not one bit. The apartment will get cleaned. I will eat. The right person will be very clear to me at the right time. An idea for what is next in life and the outline or checklist to achieve it will be part of an epiphany one day. Erratic behavior of ups and downs is not helpful. I'm home watching TV. I'm out partying with friends. I'm angry at the process. I'm relieved at the process.

It is what it is. One person cannot possibly shoulder the burden alone, since two people were involved in the creation, sustainment and demise of this relationship. And no matter how hard you work at mitigating the risks and stressors, you always have an X factor - the actions, reactions, and interactions of and with the other person.

After an excellent few days with a variety of friends and activities, I found myself sitting on the couch rousing from a nap to the movie "Bride Wars" on HBO. Surely enough, it was the scene near the end that takes place in the Plaza Hotel. It has been many years since I was there. The last time I was in the Plaza was for a corporate Christmas party. That was Christmas of 2001. The odd coincidence is that I was finding myself again at that point after a shake-up in life.

From 1999 through 2001, as many of you know, I roamed the streets of Manhattan, mostly downtown, while working for the New York Stock Exchange. We spent many nights out in that town. The late 1990's were full of money and opportunity in information technology. It was when tech became cool. People weren't hiding from being tech geeks, we were all trying to be the biggest tech geek. There were more jobs than people and more money than most could spend. Night were filled with bouncing from happy hour with the traders and brokers to dinner at most of the top 10 steakhouses in the country to drinks in places tourists wait on line just to see inside of. Corporate royalty is how many in my industry were treated. 

Just like the questions I've been asking myself and adjustments I've been trying to make are not important; none of that was important either. In one day, everything changed. We learned the important lessons that day. If you know me, then you know exactly what I'm talking about. If you don't, you should be able to put 2 and 2 together and manage to come up with 4.

Amidst all of these changes in my life I managed to forget what was important. I guess we all get wrapped up in the daily bullshit that life slings. Then we look at the calendar and realize that in less than a week we will see the ninth anniversary of a day that really mattered. Now I wish I could put my head in the sand and be caught up in the little unimportant shit and ignore the negative significance of what's coming, but I can't. Now I'm hit with the September Blues once again and there's nothing I can do about it but soldier on as best I can - in remembrance of those who did the same and always knew what was important.

Hiding your real face under a mosque

I am sure that anyone who had read anything I have ever written knew this was coming. I have been a little behind the eight ball lately so it has taken some time to process my thoughts on the topic. Here they come...

This mosque in lower Manhattan issue is total insanity. As many of you know, my connection to the area and the event is very deep and personal. I'm obviously against putting a mosque in the area. Before you get on my case about any anti-muslim rhetoric, let me explain my position.

I'm not anti-muslim in any way, shape or form. I'm not against a house of worship in any particular location. I am against using the final resting place of many innocent victims as a platform for getting out a message. If there was a diversity group that wants to put a Catholic church, Jewish temple, mosque, non-denominational temple, etc along with a center for education and interaction, I would be all for it. I don't care if you want to add in a time slot for people who worship belly button lint. Fine. Go bananas and do it all. That is not what is happening here.

This is neither about religion nor faith. This is about the message. Did the terrorists want to get rid of those buildings? No. They wanted to disrupt our way of life on a massive level and kill as many people as possible in one fell swoop. It was about the message. So if the mosque is not about faith, what is it about? The message. A group wants to show the world that not all muslims are dangerous extremists. Not all Germans are Nazis - is there a Jewish temple where Auschwitz once stood? Of course not. Why? Because that's adding insult to injury and doesn't prove anything. Why is this any different?

Setting aside the discrepancies that have popped up about where this group gets its funding (such as partially from radical Muslim groups), this is a bad idea. Remember, that this is less than a decade ago. The wound has not healed for everyone just yet. Many people are still dealing with the loss of loved ones - some of whom were never found. For some, that land is all they have to visit. Staring at a center that represents the "good side" of the culture that took away a husband, wife, mother, brother, etc can't be helpful.

They say that there are 12 million people on Manhattan at any given moment. Are all 12 million people tolerant, balanced, informed people? If you've been there you've seen the guy talking to himself on subway and the lady who knows more pigeons than people. So, will the less than tolerant people stand by and watch this get erected and remain respectful or will this invite violence and misguided vengeance? Don't be naive.

So what's the point? To show the world you're peaceful and respectful? Then put your mosque elsewhere. The only reason this land is being considered is because the radical members of the same culture have made it so. If this group had outreach centers all over the place, it would also be different. Interesting how they showed up right now.

Don't get me wrong, I understand that the worshippers of Allah are not the only ones who are in the this negative limelight. The Christians had their day during the crusades of the 11th, 12th and 13th centuries. Every major religion had a moment when they ran around killing people because God said it was a good idea. I get that. And it has never been the whole group of any particular religion. And a group is greater than the sum of its parts. At the end of the day though, society remembers the noisy ones though. In the last decade do you remember the priests who have done good in their life or the ones involved in the sex scandals?

So here is my point... get your message out. Prove yourselves. Let us know that there are good muslims out there. Just don't do it by setting up shop on a tender spot of our land and hearts, especially when you know full well that the message will be lost on more people than it is received by.

Who are you spiting?

As most of you know, I live on the gulf coast in Biloxi, Mississippi (at the moment), although I'm a NYC native. Obviously, my zip code puts me face to face with the BP disaster. Some fireworks shows were cancelled due to safety hazards of explosions and tarballs. Beaches are closed. Hurricane paranoia is amplified in fear of a tar-laden tsunami covering Biloxi. Every other commercial attempts to amass volunteers to save the wildlife. It's real fucked up. I get it.

All over the social web, there are boycott BP groups cropping up. I have been really tempted to join them, but I try not to express political views from within an ecosystem like that if they are not my words so I've refrained. Years of military service have taught to be aware of the light in which I portray myself.

So, I have been doing some reading and thinking and thinking and reading about all of this. I have come to a conclusion. I'm not going to boycott BP. Before you decide to tarball and feather me, I'll explain.

1) Boycotting BP and not buying their gas hurts BP? No, it doesn't (at least not most severely). Their stations are independently owned and operated. So, if Jimmy from high school owns a BP station now, you're hurting him. Does he deserve that? He didn't know this would happen when he bought into the company with his own station.

2) If gas is cheaper at BP, and I'm not necessarily saying it is, shouldn't you save the money in this downturn economy to put back into our country? Moreover, couldn't you take the savings and give to the relief efforts where you'll see your money work saving animals and clean up the shoreline? The situation is negative so do something positive to counter it. Don't fire back with more negativity.

3) Did you know that BP stations don't always use BP gas? This is not confirmed but I've heard that there are instances where individual owners will use a third-party gasoline. If that is true, do you know which stations are doing this at what times?

4) I scream, you scream, we all scream for gasoline. How many of the picketers and anti-BP folks drive to cleanups or demonstrations or to competing companies stations in SUVs and gas guzzlers? BP, like many others, are drilling way the hell out in deep, dangerous water because they have to. One reason is that they keep pumping and we keep buying to fuel our lives. The other reason is because they have to. They can't drill closer to shore where it may be safer. The Alaska situation puts them in the gulf.

5) You think this is a picnic for BP? They're not losing money yet but their profits are cut. The business of business is business. They are here to make a buck and that's not happening as well right about now. I'm sure nobody at BP is having a good day lately. What happens if we all boycott and put them out of business. Then who the hell is gonna fix this mess? Give them the cash so they can shut it down.

6) Are all other companies exempt from an accident of this magnitude? Seriously... this could not have been someone else? It's an accident and it sucks and any other company can have the same issue on any one of their rigs at any moment.

7) BP is in a lot of places. The name stands for British Petrol. Clearly they're not limited to the US. No matter how hard you try, you're not gonna make a dent by boycotting them. Quit stomping your feet and find a better outlet for your frustration.

I'm not here to exonerate them. They've screwed up royally since the accident. A company in Canada (aka America Junior or America's Hat) farms a particular kind of peat for this exact reason. It's a magical solution offered to BP and they turned it down. Why, you ask? Ok, I'll tell you. Because when it is used they can't recover any oil from it. Well you're not gonna recover oil from the marshes in Louisiana or the dead animals either, dingbat, so use the stupid peat and clean it up. That's a mistake.

I think it all boils down to an accident that is just too big for them. Ever lift something to heavy or take on a project to large for yourself and need help? I tried moving a full fish tank by myself once. The worst part about it is that there was nobody around to help and I struggled, spilled water and it took me three times as long to get it done. Funny that my analogy is a fish tank, huh? There's your BP situation drawn to scale. Fish tank had to be moved = not given a choice on where to drill. It was bigger than I anticipated and I couldn't handle it under the circumstances = something went wrong and there was an explosion. Enough said or do I have to continue? The biggest problem I had was that I was alone. Nobody was there to help me. We were offered help but it took someone a long, damn time to accept it. I guess he wanted his largest contributor to climb out of this mess on their own so they could be the hero to their own problem.

All that being said, if anyone wants to mail me a check to foot the difference and subsidize my fuel needs from another company, I'll be happy to oblige. Until that point... I'm going where I can make the most difference on my wallet. I have local responsibilities in my home that come before saving the world. I won't seek out BP stations but when I need gas, I need gas. Plain and simple.

I'm sure this is unpopular. Oh well. What else is new?

Happy Independence Day all.

Social networking sites are full of patriotism this weekend and especially today. It's our birthday, after all. It's always nice to see people celebrating the true cause of the holiday rather than just indulging on the long weekend. I wanted to take a moment to relay to you one of the funnier things I had seen along the way.

We've all seen the adage:
"If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can read this in English, thank a soldier."

That holds true 99.9% of the time. Our military has ensured it in the past and promises to continue to do so in the future. What made that funny today was that  at the end it said, "Happy 4th of July. Thanks for our independence." It was a nice sentiment, but just made me laugh. Does anyone see where I'm going with this yet?

Well... we won our independence from England. "If you can read this in English, thank a soldier." I'm fairly certain that if our soldiers failed and we lost the war to England, we'd still be speaking English today. Just a thought.

Father's Day Message

Happy Father's Day to everyone out there. I love Father's Day. My dad has always been terrific. I couldn't have asked for better growing up. Whether it was camping trips, homework or putting up with my bullshit, he's always done it and usually with a smile. I'm lucky.

I know not everyone is as fortunate, of course, and that's a real shame. I partially understand. I've been away from my dad for 7 years now, courtesy of the Air Force. You'd think it gets easier with each passing year but it doesn't. As a matter of fact, it gets harder.

Today is particularly difficult for what seems to be a multitude of reasons. It's another year away from the family. Linda happens to be in NJ visiting them for 2 weeks and I feel like I'm missing out on all of it. What may be the biggest reason of all is that it's June 20th. A day of little significance for most people. June 20th was my Uncle Tommy's birthday. Another wound that never seems to fully close. I hate June 20th EVERY year but the fact that it coincides with Father's Day this year makes it worse. I'm already feeling melancholy and then I've added the impact of the loss to my mood as well.

It's not all about me though. It's hard for everyone in the family, not the least of which are his children. I simply don't think I can imagine, for one moment, what it's like to lose a parent. We all go through it eventually, but always hope that the parent lived a full and prosperous life and at the very least, is not ripped away from us unexpectedly.

My father said something profound about life and loss. I don't have the verbiage so I'll just explain it. Our life is like a tile mosaic. Each person, memory and instance is a tile. As we lose people, the tiles are taken away leaving holes. When someone is taken suddenly and unexpectedly, the tile is torn from its place leaving a hole that is jagged and unclean. It's harder to look at that rough spot.

That is what my family lives with every day. Some days it's easier than others. Some days it's especially hard. Today is one of the latter. I miss my father and my Uncle Tommy both, but each in their own very unique way. I love them both deeply as well. I'd give anything to be standing around the barbecue with both of them again. To laugh when Uncle Tommy blows up the front lawn with fireworks and scares the shit out of all of us who somehow didn't notice that the six-foot-one firefighter went missing. I remember in the days before cell phones, it was nearly a contest who could get who in the pool more often with a beeper on his belt (and count the beepers that had been sacrificed to the pool throughout the summer). To watch my dad, an only child, revel that the "in-law" part of the title "brother-in-law" never seemed to fit. And when the third Musketeer, my Uncle Charles (Uncle Tommy's brother) was in the mix is was just mayhem, but always hilarious. Just to see the broad shouldered man with a broader smile walk in through the door as he had every holiday of my life. Or to hear my Dad look up from the morning paper, over his reading glassess and say "Good morning, boy" when I announce my entrance with a "Hi pop." Watching my parent tease each other mercilessly and still laugh hysterically after 39 years of marriage.

Some of those I'll get again. Others are to remain memories. The former is what keeps the latter from truly breaking my heart.

For those of you who are fathers or are around yours, enjoy them not just today, but every day.

Finding peace and moving on - and moving home

I've been talking, quite a bit lately, about becoming a civilian again. This may sound contrary to what all of you think you know about the relationship I have with my uniform. I still have three years on this enlistment but I figured I would take a minute to explain.

Some of you may know how my military status came to be. It was a function of several things. Bad economy, financial needs, a renewed sense of patriotism, and one really big chip on my shoulder. I came in, I trained, I worked, I deployed and now I teach. I'm one of a select few that volunteered for this instructor position. I knew I'd love it and I was right. Biloxi, Mississippi would not be my first choice of locations to live but the job is worth it and the area is actually pretty nice (especially given other locations I've been to - like Sierra Vista, AZ).

I took this job for 2 major reasons - 1) It is a great career stepping stone in case I decided to stay in and 2) for me it's the best job in the Air Force to have as your last assignment. I was split down the middle about my Air Force future when I re-enlisted and took this job.

When I came through technical training and early on at my first base, I didn't have great guidance. I have seen the "kids" come through the training pipeline and into the operational Air Force for years and it appeared they were not getting the guidance they needed as well. I have had many experiences over the years and I have an inherent need to understand as much of the world around my as possible. I've absorbed so much and wanted to share it with the next generation of Airmen. I can't possibly fix all the problems and I wouldn't dare try. My presence here is not going to make the Air Force replete with stellar Airmen. You can't change the whole Air Force but you can work on your little corner of it. So that's what I'm trying to do. It makes me happy to affect the lives of these young troops and set them right on their course whether it lasts 4 years or 20 or anywhere in between. I teach. I don't instruct. We're called instructors by the Air Force. I teach. I teach them about the assignment system, the promotion system, finance, deployments, overseas cultures AND I teach the curriculum for understanding, not just to pass the test. I'm a teacher.

But... in 3 years, I'm going home. I love the Air Force, I love the job, I love the adventure, I love the mission. I just love my family more. I've been gone 10 years (at the end of this tour) and enough is enough. Less than 1% of the American population ever dons the uniform. I did for my country; now it's time to do for my family.

I'm not here for the money, I'm not here for the experience. I'm here for the job and what it means. I did what I set out to do. I've repaid  this wonderful country for all it has given me. I've played my part in the war on terrorism. I've stuck my neck out and after a few bumps and bruises (mostly emotional), I'm no worse for the wear.

I spent many years working in corporate technology in New York City. I endured corporate America and 9/11. I have a lot to give back in terms of knowledge and experiences (both of a professional and personal nature).

I said this is the best last assignment in the Air Force. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. For me it is, and it will be my last (barring entry into World War III, I suppose). You work and train new people. You move on to other places and leave people in your shoes. We learn that we should always be training our replacements. I don't know if that is idealist so we can share information and have a knowledgeable work force or if it's just so we can get promoted. The latter sounds very Peter Principle-esque so we'll stick with the first. There's honor in it.

I can tell you why I do it. Not so I can move up, but so I can move out. I teach 12 students at a time for a period of up to 2 months, but generally only a couple of weeks. I spend my time pouring into those spongy little excited brains all of my knowledge, experiences, stories, tips, tricks, hints and thoughts that have made me a success thus far. I can stand outside my building on the last day of this enlistment, look at the front door and say:

"You know all I know. It's your time now. It's your Air Force. You're the next generation. Run it well. Make me proud. I'm going home to my family."

They're over there in their house

If the title didn't give it away, I'm a little perturbed about spelling and proper word usage. Chances are, you have read several of my blogs already and can appreciate the fact that I use more words than are generally necessary. I like having a large vocabulary. I'm proud of my command of the English language and I very well understand that not everyone is me. People don't all have the ability to incorporate extensive word usage into daily life and many people simply don't care about it in the first place. That's fine.

However, that does not exempt you from properly using the 6 words you do know. I spend about 18 hours a day in front of a computer screen. I read MANY words each day. There are going to be typographical errors along the way. We all slip up and make a mistake or "fat finger" while typing and hit extra letters or mishit a key. I get that. There is an enormous difference between making an honest mistake while typing and simply not knowing how to speak English.

For instance... there, their, they're. They're is the easy one. It's short for "they are." Plain and simple. There is the location. Their is possessive and shows ownership. People quite often say "my friends say there at a bar." or "they lost there keys." Are you fucking kidding me? Do you not know the difference?

Another peeve is to, two, and too. Ok. Most people don't type two and use 2 instead. Let's focus on to and too. Didn't you learn in school that too means also or as well. It means more of some and that's why it has an extra "o." Well, that's not nearly why, but that's how it's taught.

Oh yeah... it's. It's short for "it is." Its is another possessive. It's over there. Instead of "the dog lost its bone." Fucking figure it out.

And dare correct someone on these items and they get defensive, "same thing, you knew what I meant." Of course I did... I'm actually intelligent. I was able to decipher your 1st grade shit. The other one I like is, "I learned that so many years ago. I don't remember that." You also learned that Washington D.C. is the capitol of the United States and that 3x5=15 so many years ago but you remember them. I'm not buying your brand of bullshit. You're an idiot and you'd rather get defensive about your idiocy instead of fixing it.

When did it become ok to be dumb and in some arenas, even cool. I understand that nerds get picked on high school. Remember one thing, that nerd just bought the business you work for. That nerd isn't reading your stupidity online because he/she is running a company. That nerd is a somebody. You're a misspelling nobody.

I make mistakes. Truly I do. I've hit the backspace key 100 times while writing this. It's also 2:45am and I had a bunch of beers, but that is not the point. The point is that while I make mistakes, I would say that 99 times out of 100 I know I made it and I correct it. If there's a typo in here and you point it out, I won't bitch about it. I'll go fix it.

If you can't spell antidisestablishmentarianism, I understand. If you don't know the difference between there, their, and they're then you're a fucking moron. Why is this important enough for me to blog about? Maybe I should just use context clues, figure out what you mean, shut up and read it. Well I've done it all along and will have to continue to do it, lest I force myself to repeat this message daily, nay hourly. So why say it at all?

Social media. We are all connected. Just a few years ago, I was in the minority as someone who published content to the web. I had like 7 websites and most of my viewers didn't have any. Now with myspace for the teens that still use it, Facebook for the people who don't care about privacy and still use it, Twitter, FriendFeed, Google Buzz and the billions of emails that are exchanged each day; we are connected more than ever. Guess what? It's not gonna go away or slow down. The rate at which we connect won't even stay the same. It's going to go up. We will connect to more people, more often, and in more ways. Maybe you should sound like a functioning member of society, huh?

Privacy is going away. Transparency is on the rise. Connections are growing exponentially. Your next boss might be in your information grid already. Keep misspelling simple words and that next boss will teach you when to ask, "would you like fries with that?"

By the way, you're and your are two different words. Your brains are underdeveloped and you're all morons. See how easy that is? Now figure it out or be condemned to a life of ridicule, mostly by me. Seriously though, sounding like you have an IQ of a sweet potato that doesn't speak English as a first language is not attractive, it won't make you money and is just a ridiculous concept.

Dictionary.com is FREE, dopes... free. Now stop this shit.

Looking at Haiti; Blind to home

I'm gonna get a lot of shit for this and people are going to call me insensitive and whatever else. Let me open this by saying. I feel terrible about what's going on in Haiti. I have a colleague with a haitian wife who has tons of family there. I've been barking up my leadership's tree to try to deploy there and help out. I'm not against Haiti or relief efforts.

However, things are getting a little out of control and it's turning into a publicity stunt. And I fucking hate politicians. Especially the loony, lefty, liberals. Let's iron out a few things first. The U.S. pledged $100 million and 5,000 American troops. Urban Search and Rescue teams are already in place as well as EMTs. A friend put not too fine a point on it by reiterating that many of the troops headed that way just got back from a year or more in Afghanistan.

So where's my problem you ask? It's with the asshole Americans that ask "Are we doing enough?" It's with the New York Times that has a "Room for debate" commentary running in its special Haiti section considering the merits of adding to our pledges.

Look, Haiti is fucked up right now. But so is our budget/deficit and most of our troops, which in case you've forgotten are not Cyborgs. They are human beings. And we're America, I get it. World Police go help everyone when they need it; get criticized when we're not of any use to other people. Called bullies. That's what happens when you carry the big stick. People want you on their side when they need you and give you shit when they don't. So we have to help. Haiti deserves our help.

But people, look at home. $100M may not go as far as the Haitians require, but we just can't afford to keep giving. And what's this publicity stunt bullshit with President Obama, and former Presidents Bush and Clinton standing in the rose garden. So now we've got a relief fund being run by those 2 guys, which I have a lot of problems with. Want the list? I know you do.

1. Obama really got on Bush's case about his response to Katrina. I'll agree that Bush's performance was less than stellar. However, how can you, in good conscience, pick up the phone and call Bush after all you said about him? Maybe he said, "This will be good press, which we BOTH really, REALLY need."

2. Clinton. You're a budget guy. Remember what went on while you were president? We had money as a country. You have to have noticed (if Hillary lets you watch TV) that we're in shitty financial shape. As a federal government and as a people. Why not hold a relief fund for the millions of your fellow Americans that can't put food on the table?

3. Obama and Clinton now have the added task of making sure Bush knows how to read.

Any one of those 3 things presents a problem.

I'm not sure how we can want more, more, more at home and then want people to give more, more, more elsewhere and still find time to bitch that we don't have enough here. Really?

Where was everyone during Katrina? Not here helping. Where are we during this earthquake? There helping. The 2004 Tsunami? There helping. Earthquake in Pakistan in 2005? There helping. Cyclone in Myanmar in 2008? There helping. How about the 2007 fires here? Nobody showed up.

Want to help Haiti? Then go for it, but stop exploiting the US efforts as not enough. Stop twisting it. It's relief for another country in trouble. We have NO obligation outside of trying to do the right thing, and we're doing it. More than anyone else and more than we can afford to do in the first place. Saying it's not enough is asinine and unfair to the people breaking their asses in Afghanistan only to come home and leave their family and go to Haiti only to come back and leave their families to go back to Afghanistan. It's unfair to the American taxpayer who lost his/her house recently due to the lending crisis or economic meltdown (and there were a lot of them). It's unfair to the person clinging to his/her job by a thread hoping there will be money for food tomorrow.

Stop being babies America. We can't turn our bleeding hearts toward everyone with a problem, but we will anyway. Recognize that and lose the tantrum about wanting more.

American Microcosm Shows Up Everywhere

But in one place specifically right now. My mother is an avid churchgoer and a devout Catholic. Combining her love of helping out and her innate ability to shop, she took on the role of managing the local religious store in their parish. This was a place that I had never seen open, pre-Loretta. I only recently found out that it took in $800/yr. Over the past few years, she has turned it around. It is chock full of all kinds of religious goodies, most of which you have to snatch up before someone else does. They're open nearly non-stop and have an amazing amount of patronage and volunteers. Last week they handed over $1000 for the WEEK. Her and I spoke this morning about the delusions of grandeur at the top wanting a full-fledged inventory, database, etc. Our pastor is worried they are in the red. I went off on my usual style of logic based rant full of analogies marrying economics and Air Force terms. Rather than let her try to frantically write down what I was talking about, I sent her an email. I share that with you now. I haven't written anything on economics in about a year so I figured it was time.

So we've got some applicable Air Force terms for this situation. Not that they are solely AF terms, but we use them heavily. I know I use at least 1 per day especially with my students
~"Spirit and Intent" What are you really after in a given situation? What's the true purpose?
~"Value Added" if you're doing something and there's no value added, then why do it. hopefully, the value added is high and matches the spirit and intent
~"Desired Output" speaks for itself. It's the outcome that you want. similar to spirit and intent, yet differs from the fact that this is not an ideal, but rather a tangible item like "lower prices"
~"Felt Effect" regardless of what you mean to do and regardless of the desired output you're trying to achieve, this is effect that is felt by the people affected.

In this case in particular, I personally believe that the store functions to provide a location for parishioners to get religious items. They are already in church and so this provides a convenient place to buy what they need, have it blessed, etc all at a reasonable not for profit driven price point. The spirit and intent of this ministry is to offer a community run, communal location for like-minded folks. The desired output is not turning a profit or getting rich. it is, simply, to cover costs while providing for your folks. The value added is the sense of community, the pride of the parish in keeping it going, making it better and knowing that they have helped out other faithful parishioners along the way.

Now, where are we now with this? From $800 yearly to $1000 weekly (at the holidays). It's grown and I believe the spirit and intent is being forgotten at the top. This will crush under it's own weight if left unchecked. The desired output has now become another dollar which is contradictory to the spirit and intent. Realistically, both terms should always work in concert and here they oppose each other. The felt effect is under appreciation, lack of spirit and intent which, in turn, leaves no value added. You're working as part of a machine now. It's no longer fun for you, people are leaving, they feel like employees (employees without pay, i might add). Felt effect... people are being used. No value added. Spirit and intent forgotten. This will diminish morale and in turn, your desired output of money... gone. initial desired output of making enough to cover costs to buy more to provide to your folks... gone.

I'm not making this stuff up. We learn this as supervisors in the Air Force as part of Airman Leadership School and in Basic Instructor Course to teach down here. It's a simple model that can be applied to most group dynamics, especially when they go astray. I picked up a little of this with from Air War College with some correspondence course reading I did a while back as well.

What we end up seeing here is a microcosmic view of the country at large. Grandeur build on the shoulders of greed. Even as a right-wing, capitalist, consumer I see the need for checks and balances and regulatory principles. We don't have that here, but it's a church and we shouldn't need it. Any ministry should, by and large, be driven by the need to help others in whatever realm they're charged to do so. But one rogue mindset at the top can affect all operations below it. He sees the value added as more money for the church but he's forgetting the cost. The cost of his people, not dollars, and their willingness to help which will cost money later. So the spirit and intent has shifted in his mind and left unchecked will run amok looking toward the desired output and the rest will suffer as a result.

As far as being in the red is concerned, that's as ridiculous a train of thought as it is simply untrue. If you buy $50 worth of product that can be sold at $100, you can say you're in the red until you sell because your'e out the 50 bucks. But you're not dealing with perishables that will spoil so you can't recoup your money and the church is stuck holding Herman. You're not even talking about lasting products that have lasted 2 years and will continue to sit. You're moving your product. To verify whether you're in the black or red you need to look at quarterly earnings or monthly earning. How much did you spend Jan - Mar. How much did you make? Now subtract. Is that a positive number? If so (and in this case I know it is), you are NOT in the red. This is why companies release quarterly earnings and it's NEVER in the middle of a quarter. You still have expenses out that haven't been recouped because you're mid-cycle. You have to spend money to make money and he doesn't see that. At year end if you've spent more than you've made then you're in the red - for that year. If you have money in your account, you're still in the black at that moment. If you have product you can sell (even if you don't buy more and you liquidate to go out of business) you can end up in the black or further in the black. The only time you worry about being in the red is when you have used all your capital and you have no more product to sell or not enough to break even. Until then, you're mid-cycle. Simple economics here.

There are not the droids you're looking for & Elvis was gay

How many times to do I have to tell everyone to quit playing the Ostrich and get your heads out of the sand. Hiding from problems doesn't make them go away overall. It just keeps them from view to you. People in this country are quick to believe the first thing they're told and refuse to acknowledge anything further. It doesn't matter what it pertains to either. Elvis slept with this wife once to pro-create. Look at how he looked, acted and dressed. The guy was gay. But wave a hand in our faces and tell us these are not the droids we're looking for and the Jedi mind trick is complete. We're content to believe what we're told even when there is all the evidence to the contrary.

As a foundation to the argument I'm about to begin, I want everyone to know that this Saturday there is a prediction for snow in Mississippi. You can see where this is going. Australia just recently fired their chief Climatologist after resounding proof that global warming was either a myth or a mistake had surfaced. But here in this country we're still going green to protect ourselves from rapid warming of the Earth. I'm not against going green or protecting the planet but like with everything else in life I want to know the why behind it. If we're doing it because it's healthier for us; I'm on board. If we're doing it for long term preservation of the planet; I'm on board. If we're doing it to prevent a mythical rise in temperature while I'm freezing my ass off in Mississippi and parts of this country had snow in September? You can keep your green thumb and sit on it for all I care.

At what point is this country going to wake up and realize that we can't buy into all the propaganda that comes our way? At the very least, we're obligated to view opposing positions and have the capability of changing our minds later. For far too long, we've taken things at face value and applied them on a grand scale. To quote a common Internet slang; that's an epic fail.

How can you believe everything the government tells you without even questioning it to any degree? Do you not think the government is self-serving? Remember; this is the same institution that told the baby boomers to hide under their wooden desks in the event of a nuclear attack. When things are burning around you, covering yourself in kindling is far from the smartest idea. It was our government that refused to share information inter-agency, basically within itself, in order to prevent the September 11th attacks out of a selfish need to appear infallible.

Now the government is into the auto industry for how much money? Promoting the widespread panic of a melting Earth with a solution that will cost taxpayers billions of dollars both in tax revenue and direct net profits for the auto companies is good business. If you want to find the source of the disease, look to the guy holding the antidote. They are often one and the same.

I've said a bunch of ways already, usually in a much angrier tone than tonight. However, I stand before you as a citizen concerned for the future and well being of this country and the society within as we spiral ever downward because we can't seem to think for ourselves.

Read the facts, ignore Al Gore and do what you'll do for the environment for the RIGHT reasons. Just don't do it because you're afraid you'll wake up underwater one day when the ice caps melt and flood the globe.

Think for yourselves, sheep!

Hiring the bad guy?

They say crime doesn’t pay, but apparently writing malicious software does. Ashley Towns, the 21-year-old Australian who wrote the first iPhone worm called Ikee has managed to land himself a job programming, you guessed it, for the iPhone.

The company that hired him is called mogneration and Ashley announced his new employment via Twitter:

The original Ikee worm did nothing more than change the background of your jailbroken iPhone, but since then more malicious versions have been created when someone else modified it into the Duh worm or Ikee.B.

The issue at hand with Towns being offered a job is that it looks like a reward for the worm he created, setting the wrong example for others to follow.

Read more at BBC News and Graham Cluley’s blog

Matthew’s Opinion The author of this news piece

I can see why some people are taking issue with this. It’s a combination of the fact Towns created malicious software with the fact he has never apologized for the problems he caused people who got infected. Now he has a job and it looks like Ikee was the main reason he got noticed.

As Graham Cluley rightly points out, what about all the other programmers out there who didn’t create a worm for the iPhone? Should they now start doing high-profile software releases to catch the media’s attention and get them noticed by another company? No, they should not. Instead, if they take the white hat approach and help find problems, report them to the relevant companies, and don’t go public, they’d probably have as much success with finding a job and have a lot more respect from their peers too.

Towns may still find himself in hot water; as Sophos’ Paul Ducklin points out he has actually broken the law by accessing people’s iPhones without permission.

The fact that people are taking issue with this is ridiculous. I don't condone creating a worm or a virus or anything else malicious (especially as the owner of a jailbroken iPhone 3G S). However, he showcased his talent. Granted there are tons of talented developers out there and maybe everyone deserves a shot. The point is that you can't give everyone a shot. You can't even know all of who is out there.

So what do you do? You meet people, you look in the paper, you check resumes, you watch the news. You give the shots to the people with whom you cross paths. Fortunately for Ashley, he crossed paths with everyone when he hit the news.

And think about it from Mogneration's standpoint. Free publicity for them. The business of business is business. Think about that. Bottom line - they got a talented developer, he got a job, everyone gets the publicity. Should they hire a no-name who will do less for them financially because it's the right thing to do? Absolutely not, a company should always, and more importantly during an economic downturn, do what it takes to survive. When the government subsidizes private tech businesses (which may not be that far off in the US after recent events) then the company can do the right thing and make less money. Until then, I applaud Mogneration for seizing opportunity.

By the way, this has been done in technology for years. People hiring the enemy be it from an opposing company or someone who wrote malicious code. The gaming industry has hired ex hustlers and cheats to look out for people trying to rip them off. There's another one out there. I can't remember it...oh yeah, the government turns people state's evidence to get information. The best person to have on your team is the person who's been getting the better of you all the while.

So forget the socialist agenda that everyone deserves a fair shake and realize that Ashley Towns did what it took to get noticed. The company did what it took to turn a buck. That's what being in business is about. Making money. If other developers had the chops to stand out from the pack, they would have already.

Grow up America. This pansy, "we are the world" holding hands with candles is why we're in the shape we're in. We used to be cut-throat. We used to take no shit. We used to be competitive. We owe China tons of money. The middle east wants to kick our ass. Japan beats us senseless in academics. We can't stay friends with the Russians. Iran keeps kicking sand in our face. And where is our eye? On giving free healthcare to millions of Americans (many of whom are here illegally) at an expense to the honest tax-paying citizens.

Where's that edge? Gone and if I hadn't taken an oath to support and defend this country... I would be too.

EDIT: For the record, I posted most of this comment on the site that sourced the article and they denied it. The big babies post the story with an editorial opinion by the author and don't have the stones to entertain other opinions. I understand it's geek.com but are you that much of a bunch of sissies that you hide in your cave and refuse to entertain differing viewpoints? Take down your comments section at the very least. Shut Matthew up, preferably and just throw us an ort of news as you see fit. Oh mighty, geek.com, Lord of the Manor, please allow us peasants some drippings from your table. The point is, if you open yourselves up, man up and allow alternate viewpoints and then defend your stance. Putting your head in the sand is not professional and you look like a sissy.

Another EDIT: My comment is now there. Imagine that. Funny how that works. I'm not going to speculate on what caused it. Whether they came to their senses, felt their manhood was hurt or panicked that I was on my way with a sledgehammer. I don't know. But it's there now.

And before anyone comments on the fact that Mogeneration and Ashley Towns are both Australian and I should, in turn, shut the fuck up myself. Remember that I support both of those. It's the simple minded socialists at Geek.com who are ridiculous and, incidentally, from Pennsylvania so my comments about this country, it's current administration and political standing all APPLY.

All time low in customer help; all time high in attitude

Just yesterday, a co-worker and I were talking about GameStop and how they need to hire 8,000 folks for the holiday season. With 2 in town, we almost contemplated picking up some shifts there for some Christmas cash. Laziness may have gotten the better of us and in the end it never happened. It's just as well because I had an experience there today that was so awful it bears repeating for the Internet audience now.

On October 28th and 29th, I told you all about some lackluster customer service issues I had (accessible, here, here, and here). I can't be sure if it's specific to the south, this town, this state or maybe it's just a function of time that I'm becoming a curmudgeon in my old age, but I often feel disappointed, dismayed and discontent at the level of service and respect I receive from the titans of the minimum wage industries.

Here's today's event. I had a list of video games that I no longer play and figured I'd trade them in at the local GameStop for whatever few pennies they deemed they were worth. I suppose they were worth zero in my home and it was worth my time. However it wasn't worth the undue stress on my heart from the surge in blood pressure.

Here is how it all played out. I walked into an entirely empty store, save the one employee fighting with a roll of stickers behind the counter. After she wrestled with her self-adhesive opponents for a while, she chose to acknowledge me, for which I was grateful. I explained that I wanted to tally the worth of my wares and determine if I would bother trading them in. She agrees to do the job for which she is paid so I wandered around the store looking to squander the $3.85 I was prepared to receive in trade.

When I come back to the counter to make sure something shiny had not distracted the clerk I found all of my games in envelopes; torn from their homes in the cases in which they had spent all of their lives. She explained that she was preparing the transaction. I allowed her to continue only long enough to gather my wits and reply "I just want to know how much they're worth before I decide if I'm taking them home." She tells me, "But you're going to get the card and you'll get more money." I'm less than interested in a card that costs me money every year but will save me $5 every two years. I reminded her once again that I just wanted the monetary value and that I did still, in fact, own these items.

Her answer was a roll of the eyes, a toss of the stickers and a drawn out, sigh infused, "Fiiiine." And that's when it happened. That's when the heard skipped a beat, I blinked one too many times and started to feel the room move a la The Incredible Hulk. Luckily after enough run ins with bouncers, cops and other peoples balled fists over the years, I've learned to recognize this feeling early.

I turned to look at Linda who has also learned to recognize this behavioral pattern in me and found her clear across the store in hopes her distance was alibi enough that she's never met me. It was apparent that I needed to end this quick before control was no longer an option. I said, "Tell you what. I'm gonna go ahead and take these home with me and I'll come back when there's someone here that is more apt to provide service." and I walked out before she could muster the cerebral energy to know what just happened. As I hit the door, I heard an, "I'm sorry" that had a tone that was a mixture of I just got my hand smacked sheepishness and I think I'm still right indignance.

I'll go back later to finish off the one-two punch with the manager.