The Tao of Vig

Every day

2012-01-30T18:24:00.001-06:00

I don't know if it is the law of diminishing return at work or just getting a little case of "senioritis" toward my military career, but...

Every day I get a little less satisfaction than the day before.

Every day I miss my friends and family from home just a little bit more.

Every day I have less tolerance for the immaturity of the next generation of Airmen that show up.

Every day I feel more distance between myself and my friends here.

Every day I long for a phone call from a civilian employer.

Every day I wake up with less energy than the prior morning.

Every day I measure my worth as a professional against my pay with increased disappointment.

Every day I stare, just a little longer, at the voluntary separation button my computer.

Every day I breathe a sigh of exhaustion before leaving for work - just a little heavier.

Every day I remind myself of all the good brought into my life by all these years in the military.

Every day I don the uniform and dig down deep for the pride that should automatically come with it.

Every day I want nothing more than to wake up, look around and say, "I'm truly at home."

Every day I count the days until I can say that.

Every day I do what I promised because I promised I would. I took an oath.

One day I will do what I do because I love it, I'm rewarded for it, I'm compensated appropriately and it'll all happen while surrounded by those most important to me.

Today is not that day.

What a relief

2012-01-12T21:26:00.000-06:00

Obviously the last blog post spurred by a decision to shut down my company and online presences as a brand (3 brands, actually) was very disappointing. Even if it was necessary and added up by the numbers, emotionally it was a huge letdown to be in that position. I worked very hard at all of it and maybe that was the problem. Maybe 1 brand would have been a huge success, but 3 brands and a full time job were more than any 1 person could handle. I don't really know. Anyway, I spent all day feeling pretty lousy about the whole thing.

Then came this huge relief. I was talking to Linda and explaining the difficulty of trying to push content to people when nobody was asking for it or trying to pull content. She said that, to her, it seemed like I was showing up with an expert opinion to tell the world what they should and shouldn't buy or should and shouldn't do. She meant that from her perspective she didn't understand why I was so bent on the interaction, when I have so much to say about tech at any given moment.

I enlightened her about the process of keeping up with industry news from all sources (including the bozo tech tabloids like gizmodo and techcrunch), reading all the opinions, garnering fact, making my own analysis, wording so it makes sense to the average user and then delivering. If it's a video, it's that much harder to film, edit, upload and share to every platform available.

Then I explained something else that people outside my shoes don't really know or understand. As much as I love the new gadgets, being in the position that I was in came with a certain level of mania and, subsequently, anxiety about keeping up. I wanted an iPhone 4S but I also felt like I HAD to have one. How could Vig the Geek wax intellectual with the last generation? Where would the credibility be? I was frantically trying to sell my first iPad to raise the capital to buy the 2nd one. I tried the ChipIn thing to raise funds to buy cool gadgets to review (and then give away as prizes to my lackluster audience) and got nowhere.

I was constantly on the defensive as an iPhone guy and had a hard time defending my position since I didn't own an Android device. I now don't have to worry about funding a truly expensive habit just to keep up and talk about all this stuff. I don't have to get content out constantly. I can focus on other areas like getting some certifications. I can revive my interest in iOS app development.

I feel a huge sense of relief knowing I don't need to pump all this out only to never know if it's being heard by anyone other than my 3 closest friends. A million pounds have been lifted off my shoulders by closing JayVig Photography, JayVig Media and Vig the Geek. Still though, I thought it was all going to propel me into something bigger and letting go of a dream is never 100% easy. At least I can breathe now.

Tapped out

2012-01-12T14:26:00.000-06:00

At some point last year I was about to shut down my online brands. At the 11th hour, everyone rallied support and asked me not to. I agreed. There was a resurgence in popularity and interaction for a brief time that tapered, sputtered and then died. I kept at it anyway. I started more.

Over the past few days, I was trying to figure out how to breathe life into my businesses so I could a) make money, b) serve my audience and c) have fun doing what I love to do. I've been exhausted and stressed out worrying about the amount of content I've been putting out, the frequency, streamlining the process, hitting the right topics and how to get back into the swing of things after a hectic holiday season. So I looked at everything. There's been nearly zero interaction on JayVig Media, slightly more than that but not much on Vig the Geek and absolutely nothing on JayVig Photography. The celebrity death pool had a guaranteed 7 teams, only 2 of which actually entered since announced on December 30th. All of these things cost me money. Not only am I not making money on them, but they cost me money every single month. Some in domain name fees, some in hosting fees, some in equipment, some in all of the above. They all cost a lot of time.

I research and formulate opinions. I reach out to peers in the industry and space and have conversations. I put my thoughts together to write articles or film videos. The videos require editing and uploading. I pay more for a better Internet connection to get videos up faster. I pad money for a Vig the Geek giveaway when I hit 400 fans, which I couldn't even make happen.

Facebook is very saturated. There are lots of brands out there. It's not easy to stand out anymore. However, some people find a way. Some people do it with nonsense. I can't do it. I cannot manage my brands. I started JayVig Media, LLC because I wanted to help businesses build their brands in the social space and I felt I had the knowledge, drive, and understanding of the intricate ways in the social space to make that happen. I can't even grow my own audience and manage my own brands. How can I sell others on how to do it? After a year, JVM had a whopping 49 followers. The most interaction I get is anonymous people reporting this blog to FB to have me marked as spam and banned.

I'm not a salesman. I'm a pushy, loud, bullshit artist. Put me in a room and I'll have a better than average chance of convincing you. But I'm not a salesman. I can't reach people. I can't convert people to followers and followers to customers.

So, I'm just a regular user on FB now. No brands, no businesses, no articles, no videos, no conversations with the big names. No aspirations of taking over the social media world. I've unpublished JayVig Photography, Vig the Geek and JayVig Media. I have suspended my account on Empire Avenue. I've logged out of both Twitter accounts. I'm disconnecting myself from all extra accounts and social Internet communities.

I couldn't do it. I tried. Vig the Geek was running for years now. JayVig Media for over a year. I worked hard at each brand, my full time job, school, my personal relationships and individual hobbies. My businesses were not successful where they were sustainable. There wasn't any ROI. So they are shut.

I've decided to, amidst school, study for my CCNA. I'm going to prepare myself for technical work after the military as a network administrator or something similar for a company.

I'm not an entrepreneur. I just wanted to be.

There IS a difference

2012-01-10T13:27:00.000-06:00

I saw this on Facebook today and it irritated me to no end. Liking one of these, but not the other one does NOT make you a hypocrite. They are two entirely different situations. They differ from how and why you'll see them as well as choices and respect for the freedoms of people around you. I always say that your freedom extends to the point that it impinges on someone else's. Our freedoms are not limitless. There has to be a mutual respect for people around us if we are to all maintain a healthy level of freedom in the first place.

Looking at the left picture, we have someone who is a waitress and wears a certain "uniform," if you will. Chances are, this is not worn at a family restaurant. That kind of exposure is not appropriate for families or young children. This is not dissimilar to Hooters (although the dopey manager of the Hooters in Biloxi, MS thinks it's a family oriented place). I would not take my children to a restaurant where the women dress like the kilted beauty above. If I do, then it's on me. I am responsible for explaining more details of female anatomy to my kids before their brains are ripe enough to get it. That being said, other than a stomach which can be seen at the beach, she is only showing a little more than average cleavage (average as defined by the United States in 2012).

Now let's look at the right. By area, she is showing more of her breast than the waitress. Then there is the act. The woman on the left is not doing anything but standing there. The woman on the right is performing a public, intimate act in public. I may kiss my girlfriend in public, but I don't make out with her. That's a private act that stays private, as is breastfeeding. Explaining to a child about the parts they see on the left is different than explaining the act that is happening AND the parts they see on the right. Now, let's talk about the freedom aspect. Like I mentioned above, if I go into Hooters or the place the left side girl works, it's a choice. If I see the woman on the right in a restaurant (or a park as it seems from the pic), I have NO choice. It is thrust on me whether I like it or not. Who is to say this won't happen in Walmart, McDonald's, BestBuy or a TGI Friday's, all of which do not house the woman on the left or her exposed anatomy. But the act of breastfeeding may happen anywhere, without means for escape.

If there is one thing I cannot support, it is being forced to endure someone else's nonsense. This blog is a prime example. If you're reading this far and you're pissed off I have ZERO sympathy for you. You clicked the link and have read down to the 4th paragraph so far. You are free to leave at any point. If I interrupted something you were doing, made you a captive audience and forced you to read/watch/listen, then you'd have a substantial claim to be aggravated at me. If I am mid-meal at a truly family friendly restaurant when a breast pops out and the baby starts his meal, I have no choice. I suppose I could forego eating, pay for a half eaten meal, get up and leave, but I shouldn't have to. Private stays private.

I wouldn't complain about breastfeeding at a Mommy and Me class; that's expected. I don't even complain when a blanket is used to show some damn discretion. I'll never forget the woman in January of 2003 standing at the return counter of Best Buy where I was an employee. Her shirt was pulling up on one side, breast was out and baby was feeding. It was less discreet than what we see above. Entire boob out in the breeze for the world to see. Telling me that's the same as the cleavage on the left? So, I'm standing there trying to assist her (with her computer, not breastfeeding) half shocked, half horrified, half formulating an opinion on whether this is ok or not (that's 3 halves for those counting). I'm clearly distracted. I'm 23, in public and this is new to me. It gets attention. She is offended that I'm surprised her boob is out in Best Buy. She storms off with the baby under one arm and the laptop under the other. Truthfully, there were about 3 of us behind the counter, all with the same quizzical look on our faces. We are doing our jobs. She took her breast out. Were WE the strange ones?

How can anyone honestly say that both of the above pictures are the same? If you want to rally support for breastfeeding, fine. If you think there should be more accommodations to be milked in public, fine. Is the above picture really your soapbox? I guess this is more about properly choosing your argument and supporting visual aids than about the argument itself, when you get right down to it. That picture above is asinine.

Think about the amount visible, the act, the location, the intent, and the in-your-face-no-matter-your-opinion factors of each and then tell me I'm a hypocrite.

It begins anew

2011-12-31T18:00:00.000-06:00

It is New Year's Eve. Linda and I have spent the morning cooking and cleaning in preparation for hosting a few friends later this evening. It'll be relatively low key, but will still be filled with food, drinks and enough silliness to keep us all occupied.

Right now, Linda is tying up a few loose ends cleaning and I'm on hold with the cooking at the moment. So, I have some down time to think about and reflect on the year that is ending and the one that is beginning. On the eve of a fresh start, either actual or perceived, it's hard to ignore the significance of it all.

Looking back at 2011:
It was neither the most nor least eventful year I've ever had. It did, however, come with its share of trials and tribulations, but there was enough good to more than offset the cost of the negatives. It's nice when life is more positive than zero sum over a measured period. I lost some friends along the way and had some ups and downs with others. Work was work - perpetually challenging, yet overall rewarding so we'll call that a win too. I grew close with some people and reconnected with one in particular in ways that I wouldn't trade for anything. And of course, I met the girl. She is a woman in full - gorgeous, sexy, sweet, caring and yet utterly frustrating and infuriating all at the same time, but I wouldn't trade her for anything.

All in all, I'd say that 2011 had more good than bad and shaped up to be a pretty good year for me.

Looking forward to 2012:
This is the year of possible change for me. I may be getting out of the military. If not, It'll be shortly into 2013, which means that 2012 is still all about preparation and change. I'll be finished with the long awaited, very elusive college degree. My company will continue to build and get off the ground. I'll find out what I'm worth in a professional, civilian job. My relationship with Linda will grow and mature. On a sad note, I'll have to say goodbye (or at least prepare to) some very good friends here in Mississippi.

2011 was good, 2012 will be better. They are both full of change, growth, planning and evolution - more so than an average year. It is very exciting and I can't wait for all of it. This is a New Year's Eve that I am very happy about and I simply cannot wait to see what lies ahead. No matter what the outcome of any of the forthcoming situations, it will be a year of adventure.

It's all about the journey. Let the next chapter begin!

It's all about the toddler

2011-12-30T10:17:00.001-06:00

This isn't the first time I've written to you from a plane seat at 36,000 feet in the air while on the way home from visiting the crew in NJ. There's something about recycled air and being on the last row of the plane near the bathroom where you only site if you have diarrhea or are anxious to meet people who do. Be that as it may, I supposed It inspires me.

I am at the tail end of a Christmas trip to NJ to see a bunch of important people. Not to diminish my excellent friends that have come my way via the military, but they are just not blood relatives and my Jersey friends have been around for 2o+ years so they hold a special place.

In any event this trip was unique and special. It is conceivably, the last Christmas visit I'll have to make since I could be home permanently, sooner rather than later. Even if that is not the case, next year I'll visit just long enough to see Christmas and then go back to MS to pack and move home within 90 days. In addition to friends and family I got to spend much of the time with a very special lady. And on multiple occasions I got to incorporate her into my circle, which is VERY important to me. I also made a good dent in the job search process as I spoke with friends, reconnected with old colleagues, and made some potential new ones.

In the 7 days I was there I also got to see a 2 year, 9 month old man named Seany-Pants. He is the son of one of my best friends in the world - Dr. Jim. The life of an orthopedic surgeon generally precludes any visits while I am home let alone 2 lengthy ones like we had this time. Despite our closeness, I first met little Sean when he was already 9 months old. I next saw him just after he turned 2 and then this week.

I had so much fun watching this pre-pre-schooler spell his name and count to 100 by 10s and recite his entire address. When I first met him, he kinda sat there, smiled and farted in my hand. On round 2, he was talkative and fun but how he is on a whole new level of interaction. After my last visit, he woke up the next day asking "where's Jason?" and that was before he would even refer to me by name when we were face to face. This time, he has affectionately dubbed me "Jase" and insists I go everywhere with him. I haven't had the courage to ask Dr. dad what little Sean-pants did the next morning this time around. Clearly, "Uncle Jason" is remiss in his duties of spoiling and/or corrupting this little buddy of mine.

I know the adults in my life such as my parents and brother or Jim, Alan, and Linda miss me when I'm gone, but they are adults. They "get it." Little man just knows that his playmate was there one day and gone the next. He can't see the greater good of my disappearance such as professional development or duty to country.

Maybe I've got it all wrong. Maybe Mr. Pants is over it and didn't notice me missing at all. Maybe it's for me. Maybe I realize, in the sweeping changes of a child's face and interaction that I'm missing important, fleeting moments as I while away the time in the heart of Dixie. As the mender of bones said, I see Sean in snapshot with a lot of important stuff missing in between. I said the last part, not Jim.

Maybe Sean is vaguely aware that there was another person hanging him upside down while biting his belly just a day ago, but can't quite place the source of the tickling torture. I don't know.

All I do know is that everyone understands I don't love them any less when I leave; it's just something I have to do. All except one.

Release

2011-12-15T12:35:00.000-06:00

As everyone knows, I've been counting the days until I get to go home and become a civilian again. I've been getting progressively more excited as the time wears thin. I'm not long for this job. Plus I have so much to get back to and things are looking up in so many parts of life. At the same time, I have always been dedicated to what I do. I'm always one of the first to show up and last to leave. I got forced to take leave in 2011 by a boss because I'm never not there. I don't generally flaunt my military accomplishments because I'm just a guy doing the best I can, but let's clear a couple of things up. In 8 and a half years, I have never been written up or counseled for negative behavior to even the most minute level. I received my first Air Force Achievement Medal with 11 months in service; something generally picked up with an average of 3 years in service. I am the very first Staff Sergeant/E-5 (as far as anyone who's been here 15-20 years can remember) to be an instructor supervisor; this position is usually held by a Master Sergeant/E-7 or, in a pinch, Technical Sergeant/E-6. This time last year I ran the schoolhouse's evening shift which consisted of 25 instructors and 140 students in my care every day. I was recommended for this position by 2 Chief Master Sergeants. I've done more than one trip to the middle east and back. Bottom line, I've done well in my military career and take serious pride in my work.

I did all of that in spite of having a difficult time adapting to military life at some points. I was 6-7 years older than the average enlistee when I arrived. I dumped years of technical experience that I was told "didn't matter, because my job was to just do." I have been battling, for 2 years, a complex muscle problem in my legs and underwent 4 surgeries for a combined 76 staples used to hold me back together. I showed up to this base on crutches, I taught (standing for 10 hours) with the help of a cane.

I always knew the military would be temporary. It was never part of my life's plan. However, I would give 100% every single day until my life changed. I swallowed hard when I didn't agree with decisions or the system and pressed on. The mission was bigger than me. This job was about the nation, our freedom, more locally - my students. I can pass our tests, I'm not here for me. I'm here to train the next generation. My replacements. And I would do so until my last day here, with excitement and pride.

I had a situation yesterday. A minor hiccup in the scheme of things. I maintain that 99.9% of it had nothing to do with me. The details are less than important. The point is that I went to part of my leadership looking for support. The person I spoke with is someone high enough in the chain to make a decision and someone with whom I have a good rapport - a very good rapport. The response I received was not supportive. I don't mean not supportive enough. I mean not at all. I rarely reach out to people that high on the food chain for assistance, but yesterday it was necessary. I have never been so disappointed in the "military family."

But it's not all bad. There is a positive takeaway from it. As I gear up for a life change and separation fro the military and transition to civilian life, I have always felt a hole. I knew there would be loss. Being home with friends and family in an area I love, making tons of money brings so much good into my life, but leaving behind all I've known for a decade would still present a loss. And I didn't know how I would handle that. After what I saw yesterday, that all changed. I've seen the Air Force changing, and not in a way I liked.

Less than 1% of the US population ever puts the uniform on. I did every day for over 8 years so far. I did my part and then some. I've done all I've been asked to do without complaining and with pride. I've done for my country and now I can do for me. I've always known that, but now I fully feel it. I could walk away tomorrow and be comfortable. I don't need to finish every last day of this enlistment to feel a sense of completion. I have been released and set free from this self-imposed sense of obligation. I don't have to do it JUST because I said I would.

So while I spent most of yesterday upset and disheartened and disappointed; I chose to look at positively. I'm free to walk away guilt free, when the time comes.

TWOC

2011-12-13T19:46:00.000-06:00

We go through this every year and, unfortunately, it gets worse every year. The War on Christmas (and more generally, any religion's affiliation to wintery holidays) is pandemic. I personally think it's disgusting. Naturally, I plan to tell you all the reasons why the loony, lefty, liberals are ruining the good natured, spirit of giving in the United States.

But first... some facts. Rhode Island Governor, Lincoln Chafee, an independent, is spewing his non-denominational feces by calling the tree in the front of the state house a "holiday tree." He says that it goes back to the state's roots in 1636 as a haven for tolerance. It seems pretty intolerant to me to not allow Christians to declare their love publicly. Does having a "Christmas tree" mean that Jewish people cannot put up a menorah? If that is the case, then we have a clear case of partiality and the tree should disappear. However, if Jews are free to put up their religious candelabra than I see no conflict. Besides, does any other religion use a tree as a symbol of religious celebration? A tree ONLY belongs to Christmas, just as a menorah ONLY belong to Judaism. There is no overlap. Holiday tree attributes the use of a conifer to multiple religions, which is untrue and waters down the meaning for Christians. How is that tolerant? Tolerance, to me, means that everyone gets a chance to practice how they see fit. A tree is, and has been, a widely accepted practice for many years. What if my tree is placed in a traditional spot in front a window where it can readily be seen by passers-by? Will that be considered a public place and offensive to some even though it is in my home?

How about upstate New York that banned both Christmas and Hanukkah? This is not in an effort to diminish favor for one or the other. This just cancels all holiday spirit. In the same area, teachers are discouraged from saying Merry Christmas. What if the student is Christian? Then they can wish that student well on his or her chosen holiday and Happy Hanukkah to the Jewish students. In order to reach a true level of equality shouldn't we be teaching, and moreover breeding, tolerance for all types of celebrations rather than ignoring their very existence?

I don't understand why we can't embrace all of them. Share the love of your particular holiday while learning about someone else's. I'm all for sending Christmas tree sugar cookies to my Jewish friends in exchange for some macaroons. I once got a Hanukkah card for a friend that had some Matzah and Manischewitz wine on a table with a card that said "For Santa" and inside it said "Just because the guy got the wrong house, doesn't mean he should starve." I thought that was funny. So did he. The point is that I have trees, he has candles. I believe it was Jesus' birthday and so does he - we just see Jesus' role in the world differently, but the Jews don't deny his existence as a person. We all get along. We all have fun. My friend Alan would typically come to my house on Christmas Eve and I'd be at his house for one night of Hanukkah.

Let's also not forget that government regulation and religious infringement by the left aside, Christmas very often has little to do with its namesake, Christ. Santa is not regarding as St. Nick in most circles. Toys r' Us and Hallmark have a majority share in the holiday at this point. It's about cheer and joy and sharing and gratitude and... honestly, shopping. It's commercialized and consumer-centric more than anything. Watering down the holidays by removing the names will make it more about the greeting card than the message it contains. We absolutely CANNOT say Christmas and ignore other holidays. I've focused on the Christmas and Hanukkah here, but I know there are others. Give everyone an equal share and move on. Getting rid of the source of all holidays does nothing but cannibalize their true meanings and further distance us from history, culture and a deeper sense of giving and joy. It makes it more about commercialism than it already is.

I believe that separation of Church and state means that the state will not endorse any one religion over another nor will it use any religious dogma as its guiding principles for law or judgment of the people over which it presides and governs. It doesn't mean that we cannot publicly embrace all religions and celebrate, as a means to love our neighbors, any religion that they may subscribe to. Anyone who sees religious symbols during a holiday time as blurring the line of the separation is mutating the intent of it to suit their needs. It's a disgusting molestation of celebrators during an important time of the year and needs to be completely suspended.

So, to the Christians I saw Merry Christmas. To the Jews I say Happy Hanukkah. To everyone else, insert religion specific greeting on your special day, whatever that may be. Feel free to let your flags fly and represent yourselves and your beliefs and escape religious persecution and diminution this holiday season. Let's take this country back to its real roots of freedom of expression and religion they way it was designed.

Let's NOT be friends and the FBO mentality

2011-12-07T13:23:00.000-06:00

Some time ago, I wrote about everyone friend requesting everyone (Let's be friends). Whether you know that person or not, and I mean really know the person, you have to friend request them. This is why I love the unsubscribe feature on Facebook. I can be friends with you and interact, but I don't need to see you cluttering up my feed the with things that aren't important to me - like how many hours you spent in labor or the fact that your kid hasn't had a solid shit in 2 weeks. If my closest friends in the world told me these things, they'd be somewhat important because they are real friends in the inner sanctum of my life. If I haven't seen you in 15 years, I'm not going to be sympathetic to the long retail shifts you work. It's not me being an asshole. It's the fact that we are just not close. However, if I delete you, then we will never BE close. So there's something to be said for remaining friends without populating each other's timelines with every piece of useless, inane minutia in our lives. Additionally, the subscribe function is amazing, although few people turned it on. If you kind of know me or know of me or simply want to know what I have to say, then you can subscribe to me without being friends. Anything I mark public, you'll see. If I mark it for friends only, then you won't. It's a happy middle ground. I'm getting a little off track here. The point is that Facebook statuses have become the mark of what is real and what is not. Want to know where you stand with someone? Check Facebook. There's even the phrase for relationships, "It ain't official until it's Facebook official" or simply, FBO.

What people fail to realize is that it's not about Facebook. Friending or unfriending someone on Facebook is not the be all, end all to relationships, but it does mean something. 15 years ago we'd tell the world when we had a break up or a falling out or even on the good side of things and we'd do it with 900 phone calls. Now we have a new vehicle. It's mass marketing. Hey, for anyone interested, I'm in a relationship/my cat died/I dropped a 9 inch turd/I'm moving to Bolivia/etc. Saves time in our transient lives. It's also a voice for the voiceless. For people who have less interaction and don't hold the attention of others, it's a way to make a statement. Facebook aggregates the lives of so many people. The status isn't what's important. The action someone takes to change it, is.

I had 2 different FBO changes over the past couple of days. They are most certainly related and they are in opposite directions. Apparently, one begets the other. Here's the story. For many, many years I've known someone. We were never particularly close, but always friendly. Truthfully, this person was friends with my brother and since we knew each other we were Facebook friends. Back in September or early October, I guess, we got to chatting via some iPhone help and then continued chatting from there. There was a minor amount of flirting and a tentative plan to have a drink when I visit around Christmas. Not long after we began chatting there was a miscommunication and TWO very LOOOOONG conversations via text message about communication and feelings in depth about what was to come. That was, for me, insanity and way too deep for 2 people who only ever spoke when they happened to be in the same room, had recently started to speak independently and had nothing beyond tentative plans to have a drink, which could have just as easily been a session of catching up since I'm never in town. Things basically died on the vine right then and there.

Then I met Linda. Things have been great. We've been getting to know each other by talking nonstop. Lots in common. Lots of interest. Lots of fun. I saw her this past weekend and we had an amazing time. We had been waffling on the whole relationship title thing. Were we together before we met. We felt it and acted it, but the world wouldn't understand. Could we even say it on the first weekend or should we wait? It all revolved around what other people would think, which I rarely give a shit about, but going through the story over and over again seemed like a hassle so maybe we should play the game of society and say nothing for a while. By the end of the weekend, that wasn't an option. We were clearly an item, forsaken all others, and wanted the world to know all about it - more importantly, there was no sense in keeping quiet. So, we changed the Facebook status and began calling ourselves a couple and went FBO. Woohoo! I say that with partial sarcasm because it annoys me a little bit that Facebook has become the grand delineator for what qualifies as a relationship, yet it is what it is and I'm happy to be at that point with her.

Back to the first situation. She sells some costume type jewelry and I thought my mom may like some for Christmas, so I went to her page to check it out. To my surprise, I had been unfriended. I asked if there was a mistake and I was told that there was not and it was a purposeful action because of my new relationship. Apparently, my actions being told on Facebook were being thrown in the Face of the scorned and that led to the deletion. So that's what I meant when I said that one FBO action begot another. It happens from time to time. People are so very invested in relationships via Facebook that the actions they take speak loudly. It's not about the status, as I mentioned earlier. It's about that someone is using the current vehicle (Facebook) to deliver a message. Rather than ignoring, it becomes about screaming to the world that this person no longer qualifies to be in your circle.

Rather than just knowing that Linda and I are a happy couple, we proclaim it to the world for everyone's approval. We wonder why more people haven't "liked" it yet. There is no more activity that you know someone, you like them, you give them a call to say hello and grab a drink. Everything is so clearly defined all the time. The edges of relationships are hard lines, not shading and blending. You're friends or you're not. You're in a relationship or your not and it's all defined not only by how you feel, but also by whether or not you're Facebook official about it. This goes on with business associates on LinkedIn as well. "Ehh, yeah I worked with the guy, but I'm not sure I want to accept his request."

It's an interesting dynamic that has been added into relationships (of all types) in the social age. This is the first time that one FBO action created another FBO action for me though. It's interesting to me.

Nice Rug

2011-12-06T12:04:00.001-06:00

I've been out of New Jersey for 8 and a half years and some things have changed. The big one that applies to this week is the NJ bear hunt. I have to say that I don't know much about the reasoning behind it beyond the little bit I see here and there. First things first, I have absolutely ZERO issue with it. I'm not moved in the least.

Growing up, I never saw a bear. Hearing about bears in our part of NJ never happened. To my knowledge there was no bear hunt at that time either. If there was, it wasn't well publicized like it is today. I tend to think it didn't even happen, but I could be wrong. Bears were not part of our life back then. Since that time, the numbers of their population have, obviously, been on the rise. I remember the first time a bear got stuck in a tree in Powder Mill (the neighborhood my parents live in, for those not from the area). It was big news. People were taking pictures, folks from all over came to see a bear in a tree in a residential area, and it took the police/forestry/whoever several days to get it down. By now, bears in the area aren't something people even bat an eye at. That, to me, means there are too many of them. When it happens so much that you inure yourself to the event, you become complacent. Maybe bears are naturally peaceful, but any animal, when provoked, will defend itself. Provocation can be anything. I don't know how a bear's mind works. Given the people, houses, cars, noises, etc, it's safe to say that NJ neighborhoods are not the natural habitat for bears. And let's face facts, even when provoked and angered, a squirrel will not eat your face. Maybe a bear will, maybe it won't; but it has the ability to.

Should we be decimating forests and creating living environments where bears once roamed freely? I don't know, probably not, but we're people. There's a hierarchy and a food chain here. We are above bears and other quadrupeds on that food chain. So if we need a place to live, then so be it. The anti-bear hunt movement people are certainly complaining from their homes, not a hut in the woods where they peacefully coexist with nature.

Bears pose a risk to people, end of story. Whether they are an actual risk at every moment is not the point. They are big and heavy with the capability to do damage to a person or a vehicle. They are not evolved and cannot communicate with us. We can't sit and come to a peaceful resolution with a bear. We have to protect ourselves and our children. It's a pretty simple equation.

The fact that there is a bear hunt week shows good planning. It is not open season all year round. You can't just run around town shooting every black, furry creature you find. It is right before hibernation season, which, I believe, is also gestation season for the females. In the spring there are hungry, sleepy-eyed bears looking for food. Let's make sure your 5-year old is not the nearest snack.

If having a week out of the year where we can hold a managed, planned event that helps thin the population of a potentially dangerous animal and protects our own species, then why not? Let's not also forget the one fact that the "save Yogi-ists" seem to overlook. We build. More buildings, concrete, roads, cars, etc. Less trees, bushes, berries, etc. Put those together and it's less food and living spaces for the bears. Then add in the fact that when a mama bear and a papa bear love each other very much they make little bears. More bears, less food. That means they're looking for YOUR porridge, even if it's in the cupboard. We are all aware that bears have a keen sense of smell, yes? Thinning the bear population not only protects people, but also allows the ones that live to have more at their disposal.

I'm not a hunter. I can't shoot and butcher a bear. I don't have the intestinal fortitude to do so. I am emotionally and morally equipped, just not digestively. If I had it in me to disembowel Winnie the Pooh, then I would. I'd certainly do that before I let him eat my trash, my flowers, my food, and my head. Plus, bear rugs are comfy.

See you soon

2011-12-05T13:47:00.001-06:00

It's such a short and sweet saying. One filled with short term disappointment, but long term hope and something to look forward to. It's better than goodbye. When soon is defined (in my case 16 days), it should be easy. Knowing I'll see her soon, makes it bearable to een let her leave. Knowing that I have a mere 2 weeks of work before I'm home to my friends, my family and my Linda for Christmas is so much easier to swallow than 2 months, for example.

However, this morning I took her to the airport after a long weekend that was one of the best I can ever remember. We had so much fun, we're identical and, quite simply, perfect for each other. Whether we were people watching in New Orleans, drinking beer while watching the Jets game, curled up watching (and falling asleep to) a movie or having a spontaneous, pretend boxing match in the living room, it was all smiles and laughs. At one point, she caught a giggle fit that seems nearly uncontrollable and persisted for several minutes (spurred on by nothing, I might add).

Two weeks may not be a lot of time and it'll fly by. It's a blink in the scheme of things and will ne a non-entity in retrospect. My logic tells me to not really care about something so short. Plus any negativity associated with saying "see you soon" is simply because the weekend was so positive and awesome. That should be the focus. It should anyway.

But this morning when I hugged and kissed Linda goodbye and told her I'd see her soon, it felt awful. I wanted soon to mean "after work." I wanted soon to mean when she got home from shopping. I didn't want soon to be a euphemism for goodbye. And it's not goodbye, we know that. It's see you soon, but after the last few days I spent with her, soon is not soon enough. We spent every minute of the weekend together, excepting bathroom breaks, and it didn't feel like enough.

I've had other relationships. My friends have made it abundantly clear we all know I've even had other Lindas. It's always exciting and fun in the beginning. For me though, it's NEVER been so effortless and frictionless. It's never been without a little hiccup. It's never been impossible to find something we don't have in common. It's never been so perfect.

So, this time, saying see you soon, feels like an eternity. I know I'll be criticized by some and there's a contingent of people that look for opportunities to use my words to emasculate me. I've had my ups and downs and we all wait for that opportunity to arrive where soon is never soon enough. Mine is about to land in Houston airport, headed away from me and all I can do is convince myself that 16 days is soon.

There's more than one level of government

2011-12-01T10:44:00.001-06:00

Saw the following comment on Facebook yesterday. It was from a friend of a friend.

Okay, President OBama was here in Scranton.. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! Let's see... What did that visit do for me??? Nothing.. Let's see, my county taxes are still going to go up, my City taxes are still going to go up, my salary/wages will remain right around the same, my utility bills are all going up, I still have friends and family who are unemployed and struggling.... Well, is his visit historical??? YES! Is his visit going to impact me or the people I love in any way, shape or form? NO!! So, do I care? NO!! I'd rather meet Robert DeNiro. :)))..

Another case of ignorance. In what world the President of the United States of America deal with municipal or county issues such as taxes or even at all? City taxes? I'm sure the president is going to work his way across every city in America helping plan for city and county taxes. As far as her salary remaining the same... of course it is. The president cycling through town isn't going to bring wages up or hand out promotions. Did you do anything to get promoted? Did you perform better, learn more, work harder, gain any additional capabilities or otherwise earn more money? Utility bills are going up because there's a nationwide, nay a worldwide, energy crisis as we use more and more without making more resources and, subsequently deplete the source of all of this. Supply and demand.

Friends and family are struggling and unemployed? Isn't this something that he's tried to address? I don't like the guy, we all know this, but I can't believe that you think after one visit to a town, he's going to fix it all, and you condemn him for not making sweeping changes to your sleepy little Pennsylvania town. And by making this ignorant comment you are certainly not making it better. His visit COULD impact your town, but it's not going to all by itself. Should you care? Yes. He's the most important man in the world, by virtue of his title.

Sitting around posting on Facebook about all the reasons why it was worthless and how you don't care will breed nothing but more negativity and ignorance. This is the shit I've been talking about with everyone lately.

Scrutinize yourselves

2011-11-29T11:33:00.000-06:00

I just read that Herman Cain may be dropping out of the presidential race. Apparently, there has been another round of allegations of sexual misconduct. I don't know what the deal is. Frankly, I've paid very little attention to the candidates this time around. I know I'm very political but I don't see politics in politicians anymore. I see commercials, money and smear campaigns. I don't know what they stand for, and neither to do you. They stand for what you want them to until they get elected. They're all crooked.

Anyway, Herman Cain has been accused of harassing women over and over, to varying degrees. I have a huge problem with that and hate the fact that he may be dropping out of the race over it. I'm not particularly a Cain supporter. I support everyone's right to see their dream and run for office if they damn well choose. I don't support money hungry assholes trying to snake a free lunch out of the guy. Maybe he's the best guy for the job. Maybe he's decent. Maybe he's just enough to be a good competitor. I haven't a clue.

What I do know is that all of the women that claim he harassed them in one form or another, all claim it happened years and years ago. Where were you then? Why didn't you say anything when it happened? Does the phrase "speak now or forever hold your peace" mean anything to you? Some women say, "we were afraid then." So now that the guy is nearly a household name campaigning for the presidency and on the verge of having tons of power, you're no longer afraid compared to when he was a relative nobody?

And how many does this latest one make anyway? 4? 5? More? Are you telling me that he went around harassing a handfull of women (pun intended) and nobody found out, not even once? They didn't come out with it and he didn't slip up and get caught all on his own. And then he just stopped because, as far as I know, nobody has come out and said anything about any recent events.

So you knew Herman Cain a while back. So maybe he made a pass at you. Maybe he asked you up to his apartment after a drink. Maybe he did something that you once didn't like but it didn't mean all that much to you. But now he's running for the Republican ticket to try to become the President of the United States of America and you bottom feeding, sons of bitches need to drag him down. You need to get your 15 minutes of fame (by looking like an asshole), grab a few bucks of hush money, and ruin his career. He beat you to the punch, quit possibly. Before you got the chance to destroy him, he's all but totally decided to drop his bid anyway.

And what if these harassment and adultery charges are true but he can fix the country? What is more important? We have ridiculously high unemployment rates, no money, a rising deficit, war, and a million other problems and you give a shit if he grabbed the ass of a woman that's not his wife. Is the honest, faithful candidate (if that exists) going to be able to fix our issues? I'm not saying that Cain can. I haven't a clue. But who are YOU to decide he can't? And if you think he can't - vote against him. Don't tear down his character.

The bottom line is that I think you are all full of shit. I think you are bottom feeding, money grubbing, coattail riding, filthy, moral-less, assholes that just want your slice of the pie the easy way. I know nothing about the guy, but I think he's innocent. There's no way so many women were harassed and NOBODY said a word, he NEVER got himself caught and this went on for years. I don't buy it.

Quit casting stones and try casting a vote.

Too big to ignore

2011-11-29T01:59:00.000-06:00

With so much changing in my near and midrange future, I can't help but think about events in the country and world over the past few years, especially the fall of 2008. It is particularly troubling for someone preparing to restart life geographically and professionally. As a business owner, it is that much worse. The economic events were so vast and deep that I am continually amazed that nobody saw it coming.

When we look at what actually took place, it is all so simple. Everything we did was predicated on the fact that the price of houses would never go down, yet we did everything in our power to drive them down, even if not purposely. Saturation of areas with houses and constant buying and selling invoked the law of diminishing return and an inflation at a rate that no balloon could possibly withstand without popping.

I speak often of intentionality and while it may not have been in the plan for bankers to disrupt and freeze credit, they plan of making more and more money alarmingly fast had so much collateral damage that there was no way it could have been prevented - once the ball got rolling anyway. There was so much greed and grandeur on Wall Street that even capitalists with deeply rooted beliefs, such as myself, cannot begin to imagine the soulless actions that went on. People can say that the homeowners should have known better than to buy a house they couldn't afford and definitely should have known better than to leverage that dollar and tack on a boat and a college tuition. One dollar cannot go three ways and still be worth a dollar each time. Yet, when the average Joe is handed the American dream by a professional, it is likely that "Joe" will put heartfelt trust in the answer and go with it.

The reason these Americans lost their homes, really is their own faults and it's not because they believed the banks. It's deeper than that. It's the lack of information I speak about so often. To this day, I can name, probably on one hand, but definitely no more than both, the amount of people that can explain how the greed that led to bundled mortgage backed securities, insuring the sold off slices and moving the risk of their books as well as the arrogance of AIG nearly sent us into the depression of the 1930s at an unfathomable speed (obviously generalized and truncated for this post).

What may be even more upsetting is how many people not only do not know what happened, but are grossly unaware of how close we all came to it. If I told the population at large that we were 5 days away from having no economy left, what would they say? Would they know that was the case or even believe me? Would they understand the concept of a credit freeze so sweeping that trucks stopped moving, shelves stopped getting stocked, things and money literally disappeared. A post-apocalyptic country would have emerged. January 2009 would have marked the beginning of a decades-long recession.

It's not that hard of a concept. The Street has been running on emotion and not on numbers for as long as I can remember and probably longer than that. No bank in the world can honor its debts if all creditors made a run on it. It's all based on trust and banks trust in each other. The absorption in our own personal worlds creates our own success bubble where we mostly don't think about all the moving parts involved. But all these moving parts have a profound impact on our own personal success bubbles. Our knowledge is limited to the news ticker on the bottom of the news channel that we see as we fill our coffee mugs and begin our transient day.

Our lack of information enabled all of this. I'm not exonerating the guilty parties, but it's hard for people to be guilty of immoral practices without people who conduct business with them. It's not entirely dissimilar to Nigerian scam artists "just trying to get your help moving money." They are wrong for doing it, but if you don't see yourself getting fleeced then you have enabled them to a large extent and should not have handed over money to a total stranger. How did you not see that coming?

So thanks to the greed of the bankers and the ignorance of the average American, my future success is potentially muted. I'll overcome the obstacles, whatever the cost. The point is, that I shouldn't have to. So America... read a fucking newspaper, balance a checkbook and pay attention to the world around you once in a while.

Automatically cut his salary

2011-11-25T22:15:00.000-06:00

So President Obama says he will do nothing to stop these automatic budget cuts. I'm no stranger to the need to save money in my personal life and I can't begin to truly fathom what it would take to get the United States out of this mess. Frankly, I'm not interested in what or who caused it anymore. It's here. Plain and simple.

Because Congress is incapable of doing anything right at this point, they failed to come to a solution to out deficit issues. Automatic budget cuts will go into place. Things are going to get slashed across the board, but the thing about automatic is that the actions are not weighed and considered. It's automagic. This is not a time to make brash moves. Let's consider, for once, the consequences of our actions.

To that end (and I'm admittedly biased about this), the Secretary of Defense, Leon Panetta made a statement. He said, "If Congress fails to act over the next year, the Department of Defense will face devastating, automatic, across-the-board cuts that will tear a seam in the nation's defense." To that a scorned President replied, much like a kid denied a lollipop, that he would veto any measure taken to circumvent the automatic cuts. This will, in effect, create "a hollow force incapable of sustaining the missions it is assigned," to use more of Panetta's words.

As someone who has spent time in a variety of military locations both domestically and overseas, I can tell you that we need the money. There is never enough. Our national security deserves the best at all times. I've seen soldiers without enough body armor before convoys. I've seen training suffer. I've seen students piling up crammed into small rooms because we cannot pay people. There is a bubble developing in the training pipeline that will create a force lopsided in terms of rank and hierarchy which will persist for many years to come.

All of that aside, how can anyone not see the importance of money spent on national defense. Should all the "We will never forget" bumper stickers be replaced with "September what?" Have we forgotten that the horrific 9/11 attacks were the second try by these pieces of shit on THAT location. Does February 26, 1993 ring a bell for anyone? A truck bomb in the underground parking lot of the North Tower of the World Trade Center went off, but the building stood. The destruction was minimal so they came back for more. Do you think they're done?

Do you think that the beefs with North Korea, Iran, Syria, Egypt will subside and there will peace and happiness in the world? If you buy that, I have a bridge you can buy. This was supposed to be posted a few days ago, but I got sidetracked and lost my train of thought. There is a good by-product of that though. Between the start of it and now was Black Friday. The heaviest day for consumerism and shopping. Some of the videos and news associated are the exact reasons the rest of the world hates us. Materialistic, shallow needs for possessions is not something that is agreeable to our enemies. The point is that without protection, we are going to have a major problem.

Our military is the greatest in the world. It has created and protected us for over 200 years. It also has helped out the rest of the world in times of need. We cannot cripple it with budget cuts. Find other ways to save money. Congressional salaries for starters. How about the presidential salary? What the hell does he have to pay for anyway? The man has no expenses.

All I know is that automatic budget cuts that erode the foundation of protection this country has relied on for so many years is disgusting and needs to be completely rethought.

Spreading joy via the evil corporations

2011-11-24T22:50:00.004-06:00

It's Thanksgiving night and I certainly have a lot to be thankful for. I have an amazing family and wonderful friends. I have a good job. I have been very blessed in many ways. I understand that many are less fortunate than I am. I also would love to help every person who has had bad luck befall them. Unfortunately, I'm not in a position to do that. I heard something tonight that infuriates me more than anything else. Actually, it's two things.

First of all, Facebook is full of people complaining about the Black Friday hours. I have worked from 4:30am until midnight in a retail location. It's long. It's hard. I get that. But to bitch and moan and have arguments amongst friends about who has it worse, is so ridiculous. You know who has it worse? The people who can't get a job. The people who can't pay the rent and keep the lights on. You don't like retail? Get a learned trade. Get an education. Get some motivation and drive and learn to monetize your passion. Find a way to change your circumstances. OR OR OR OR... be the 1 in almost 10 who don't have a job. It's Thanksgiving. Be thankful that you have a job... and get your ass to work.

Here's the other thing. Apparently, people are outside stores picketing. It's a new sub-movement called "Occupy Black Friday." Their stupid ass signs say things like, "Stop supporting corporations, distribute your money among the poor." First of all, there are people, like those above, that have to work ridiculously long hours and it does suck. Those that are grateful for the opportunity, deserve the money they make. You don't deserve it for being outside with a fucking sign. Grow up and get a job. Apparently, there are people working that don't care to and maybe you can trade positions with them. Anyway, you clearly missed the point. People spend money, which stimulates the economy. It creates commerce and then the corporations make more money and make more products and the cycle goes around and around. I guess that's what pisses you off, but you missed a very key component to all of it. You see the whole thing as just a corporation, but let me ask you something - who do you think works in the corporations? Is it all fat cat rich people? Maybe there are the laborers who create the products in factories, drive the products to stores, stock them on shelves and ring them up. Maybe the people buying them are just poor people scraping to get by themselves and are pinching pennies to get gifts for their families.

Maybe, even if you had a legitimate cause, you're not going to be heard at Christmastime. It's not the time to pitch your silliness. It's Thanksgiving and people are doing Christmas shopping. People are joyful and buying presents to spread the joy. Stop pissing on everyone's parade and bringing your stupid fucking raincloud to a happy time. Get a job, buy something, spread some joy and stimulate the economy.

Partisanship and employment

2011-11-18T17:06:00.000-06:00

I'm tired of ranting and raving about Occupy Wall Street from a pure belief standpoint. I have mine, they have theirs and they will never see that mine are right. I'm not trying to be arrogant, but if I didn't believe mine were right, they wouldn't really be beliefs in the first place, would they? So I stand by my beliefs. We'll even call them convictions. I'm not wishy washy. However, being staunch is not enough to sell others on my position. So let's look at it in better, more factual detail, shall we?

Disclaimer: Nothing I say here speaks for the entire group. I also don't feel I'm making blanket statements. This is generalized simply to be able to keep it a reasonable length and I can't speak for individuals.

In looking at the overarching theme of how they feel (the protestors). They feel the rich get richer and the upper 1% has too much. They feel they are entitled to more opportunities. They want caps on the high and low end of the pay scale to minimize inequalities. Suffice it to say, none of them are extremely wealthy and self made millionaires. Many do not have jobs or, at a minimum, not full time, structured/rigid jobs. The principles of who they are and who they are fighting paint a clear distinction about partisanship. Would you say that these folks are closer to right wing, conservative, capitalist, big business loving, Republicans? Or do they fit the left wing, share for the common goal and greater good, everyone deserves a chance, help our fellow man, liberal, Democrats? I think we can all agree that they are, by and large, the latter.

Since we are speaking in large, generic polarized categories, let's continue that trend. Conservative Republicans will often gravitate toward more pragmatic degrees (B.S., M.S.) vs the loony lefty liberals who are generally more artsy (Bachelor of Arts) and lean toward careers that allow free expression. This is where this whole thing is leading to. Careers, success, and employment. The Georgetown Center on Education and the Workforce has compiled data to see the employment rate by major. Keep in mind that across the board, the unemployment rate (as of October 2011) was 4.4 for people with a college degree (inclusive to all levels of degree - Baccalaureate, Masters, Doctoral). Here is the list of the top 10 most employed major from least unemployed down:

1. Actuarial Science - 0 percent
2. Astonomy and Astrophysics - 0 percent
3. Educational Administration and Supervision - 0 percent
4. Geological and Geophysical Engineering - 0 percent
5. Pharmacology - 0 percent
6. School Student Counseling - 0 percent
7. Agricultural Economics - 1.3 percent
8. Medical Technologies Technicians - 1.4 percent
9. Atmospheric Sciences and Meteorology - 1.6 percent
10. Environmental Engineering, Nursing, and Nuclear Industrial Radiology and Biological Technologies - 2.2 percent

There are the top 10 most employed majors. The least employed of that list is half of the percentage of college grads unemployed overall. 9 of those 10 are very specifically scientific, measurable, fact based majors. No expression. No art. They are jobs that require people to show up at a certain time, meet measureable standards and performance benchmarks. Not dissimilar from the structured, numerical world of banking and finance. The only one that stands out among the rest is School Student Counseling; however, I would be willing to bet that the 0 percent belongs to those who have gone past a 4-year degree. More education ups the chances of continued employment, of course.

The Center also has found that all these scientific degrees will earn significantly more money. One such example is that a petroleum engineer major will make three times as much, over a lifetime, than that of a psychology major. The psychologist/counselor has less risk, which means they will make less money but a higher guarantee of it - once employed. Still a 0 percent unemployment rate for 5 scientific degrees sounds like a worthwhile effort.

At the end of the day, all of this data leads to one meaning - inferred or stated. Scientific, numerical, data based, technology, banking or similar career paths will always provide a greater chance of professional and financial success. Even for those who have chosen to skip the degree process and choose to work from the ground floor in these industries, it is a better bet than being on the other side. This is not my personal partisanship. I'm not going to strap a dead panda to the front of a Lincoln Navigator and run over every liberal artist I can find. I'm taking a stance based on real data from Georgetown (not a fly-by-night organization).

So OWSers, you want change. Here's a suggestion, make it happen. The choice is yours. The programs are available. The information is publicized. Want the money? Make, don't take, the money. Once you have it, use it for good not evil like you believe everyone in lower Manhattan is doing.

OWS demands and commentary

2011-11-16T18:37:00.002-06:00

Here is what the OWS movement has decided they want. This is not an official list. This is built from items submitted by members of the movement so far. I've provided commentary on each. Enjoy the show.

- Repeal the Taft-Hartley Act. Unionize ALL workers immediately.
Not all workers WANT to be unionized. Forcing a union on people is the same as banning unions for the people that it makes sense for.

-Raise the minimum wage immediately to $18/hr. Create a maximum wage of $90/hr to eliminate inequality.
And who is paying for this. Is the profit margin at Office Depot high enough to pay the 16 year old stocking printer ink $18 per hour? Or will Office Depot have to double the price to account for that. It's already cheaper to buy a printer than to refill the ink in some cases. That's just one example. What about people that respond to "CLEANUP IN AISLE 6" when some numbnuts kid knocks pickles off the shelf? $18/hour to push a mop. Makes perfect sense to me.

-Institute a 6 hour workday, and 6 weeks of paid vacation.
$18 an hour to NOT work for 6 weeks? Employers have no discretion anymore? I'm not sure I even understand the purpose of this one. They want opportunity but don't want to work for it? "We want jobs, but we don't want taxing hours. Let's make it easy." It's not supposed to be easy... it's WORK!

- Institute a moratorium on all foreclosures and layoffs immediately.
So if people can't pay their mortgages, they should do what? Just keep the house? For free? No layoffs? How is a business going to buy products to sell if they're paying all of their employees and bills and having a hard time selling what they already have in inventory?

-Repeal racist and xenophobic English-only laws.
In Italy, they speak Italian. In Germany, they speak German. The language of this country is English. I'm well aware it is not declared as an official language, but let's face facts, it damn well should be. Or pick a new language. Make it Spanish for all I care. I'll learn it if that's the way it goes. Making a standard makes it easier to communicate. It goes on in the tech world constantly. We institute a standard do everyone can interact and communicate.

- Open the borders to all immigrants, legal or illegal. Offer immediate, unconditional amnesty, to all undocumented residents of the US.
The borders are open. People can come in, just like my family did. Sign a paper, become a citizen. Have some allegiance. Nothing wrong with that. Amnesty for illegal residents makes NO damn sense. If they are illegal, then they've broken a law. I want to drive a car with no license. I'll be an illegal driver. Give me amnesty. You can't do shit to me. At that rate, let's just dump laws altogether if there's no accountability for them.

- Create a single-payer, universal health care system.
It would be awesome to have 20%+ sales tax to cover that cost. I mean I totally want to pay $7 for a half gallon of milk so someone who doesn't work, feeds off the system and has no moral compass can stay healthy. This it takes a village to insure a lazy sack of shit doesn't work with me. I work. I'm compensated. You work. You're compensated. No such thing as a free lunch or free healthcare.

- Pass stricter campaign finance reform laws. Ban all private donations. All campaigns will receive equal funding, provided by the taxpayers.
So if I make a ton of money and become Oprah rich and truly firmly believe in a candidate, I can't support him/her?

- Institute a negative income tax, and tax the very rich at rates up to 90%.
To become the super rich, you have to be educated and a hard worker. Bottom line, the lazy ones that work 15 hours per week or can't spell the word spell, don't make millions. So those that learn a business, get educated, put in 80 hours per week and rise to become the cream of the crop should be taxed 90 cents on the dollar. At that rate, they won't be the super rich and end up in the negative income tax bracket. Additionally, negative income tax? So these people should work at low paying jobs at less hours a week and be rewarded for their efforts? Produce and contribute and be rewarded.

- Pass far stricter environmental protection and animal rights laws.
I won't even argue this one. I agree with the concept and the demand is very vague, so we will see how it plays out.

- Allow workers to elect their supervisors.
This may reduce the number of Peter Principle-esque bosses out there and that's not the worst thing in the world, however, this is a stupid solution overall. You already have that right. Are you a slave? No. Don't like your boss? Quit. Start a company. Be your own boss? Don't know how? Should have gotten educated. Can't afford it? Grants, loans, scholarships. You can get SOME FORM OF EDUCATION, you ignorant asshole.

- Lower the retirement age to 55. Increase Social Security benefits.
Oxymoron. Social Security is hemorrhaging money as it is. People are living longer. Starting them earlier with more money is impossible. That's like opening the drain, lowering the faucet and expecting the sink to fill.

- Create a 5% annual wealth tax for the very rich.
Define very rich and tell me where the money will be appropriated to and we'll see.

- Ban the private ownership of land.
Dumbest combination of words in the English language. I refuse to dignify this with a response.

- Make homeschooling illegal. Religious fanatics use it to feed their children propaganda.
I actually support it 10000% but for different reasons. School teaches more than books. It teaches social maturity, interaction, how to learn, how to teach, how to be a person in a multi-cultural society. I do not support homeschooling. I know more than one person homeschooled so I don't judge them, but in concept, I'm not a supporter.

- Reduce the age of majority to 16.
There are 18 year olds joining the military now that I wouldn't trust with a sling shot let alone a gun. You want to lower the bar? If a student can't pass a test, the fail. We don't write a test they can pass. Rebuilding the system doesn't work. Lowering the bar doesn't work.

- Abolish the death penalty and life in prison. We call for the immediate release of all death row inmates from death row and transferred to regular prisons.
Because people that are on death row are just misunderstood? Some people are bad eggs. Not everyone is capable of being rehabilitated. Abolish the death penalty? Maybe. Life in prison? Better not do it, some people don't belong in society; they are just dangerous.

- Release all political prisoners immediately.
Purpose?

- Immediate withdrawal from Iraq and Afghanistan.
Do me a favor and pull the emergency brake in the car while going 90 mph down the highway. Let me know if you have a smooth exit from the vehicle.

- Abolish the debt limit.
Germany and Austria are establishing debt limits because they see how that'll save them and you want to get rid of ours? Let's just keep piling up the debt. Let's never make good on what we owe. Forget reconciling and being positive. Borrow, borrow, borrow. Until we are borrowing on (and losing) YOUR money. Then you'll be PISSED!

- Ban private gun ownership.
Constitutionally protected right. Part of the values this country was founded on. This is not a change to a rule. This is an effort to turn this country into a different country. If you hate this country so much, there's a much easier solution - MOVE THE FUCK SOMEWHERE ELSE.

- Strengthen the separation of church and state.
Fair enough. My religion is not your religion, but my state is your state. Nothing against Jewish people, but I believe Jesus Christ is the son of God. I don't feel that a Menorah should be on top of a public building either. However, putting a cross on the side of the road where a Christian person died in an accident is not the state on a crusade for Christianity (pun intended). It's commemorating the life of a Christian that has died and the state is not involved. Free exercise of religion, brother. You should be looking at traffic and not the trees anyway. Mind your business sound familiar?

- Immediate debt forgiveness for all.
While I would personally love this because nobody WANTS to owe anything, it goes back to personal accountability. You spent it, you pay it. That's a choice. You didn't NEED the TV, you chose to buy it. I have absolutely ZERO DOLLARS in necessary debt. Whatever I owe comes from choices.

-End the 'War on Drugs'.
So now the super rich are paying for degenerates to have better, legal drugs. They are unhealthy. They are destructive. If you want to smoke crack in your apartment and fry your brain all day, I'm all for it. That's less of you wackos to make lists like that. However, when the drug addiction becomes greater and money gets slimmer, you have to venture outside to get your fix. Too often, a step in that process requires the violent acquisition of that money. Now your problem becomes someone else's problem. Cannot work.

I know I wanted a list. I wanted to see their goals. Now I'm sorry I did. Actually, scratch that. This list is amazing. It is SO farfetched that I cannot imagine anyone taking it seriously.

Ideas for additional items:
- Make the moon be ACTUALLY made out of cheese.
- Cats should have opposable thumbs.
- Polar bears should come in more colors.
- Bring back the Delorean car (with or without a Flux Capacitor, your choice).

We can ask for any ridiculous thing at this point. Thank you OWS for writing your list from so far out in left field that you are now a joke.

The new generation of choice

2011-11-15T11:40:00.003-06:00

Pepsi said it was the choice of a new generation. That's my generation. Personally, I chose Coke, but that's neither nere nor there. They were right about one thing. It was a new generation and choice was a key word there. We have been given more choices than any other generation - in all areas of life, including the choice to take no responsibility, have no accountability, shift the onus or pass the buck. Maybe I was just lucky in how I was raised, but I don't do that. Not to day I've never done that, but when I did I was young. I didn't know better. I was an adolescent. If you want to compare my mistakes as a teenager to those of adults, go for it, but it doesn't help your case.

Maybe it is not ALL our fault. We are, after all, products of the Baby Boomer generation. They had more to give and subsequently we got spoiled in a way no generation prior to us ever had. But surely, we can't place all the blame above us. I had too much. I won't lie. I was spoiled at every turn. When I was younger I took that for granted and didn't appreciate it, but how many 14 year olds do? The sense of entitlement plaguing my generation is what gives the rest of them this "right," in their own minds to deserve everything, sometimes without working for it or putting anything in.

I saw a sign held up by someone that spoke of the debt generation. He was $80,000 in debt and said now he'll never be able to pay it off. He chose to take that money. It didn't arrive in his bank account unexpectedly. This is not the first five minutes of the movie "Eagle Eye." I don't know his choice of major for school or if he even finished his degree, but if it's in something that ends in B.A. the chances are that he will have a harder time paying that off. It's not that I have no respect for the arts, but it's fact that unless you catch a big break, they are generally (overall, averaged) not as lucrative.

You know what is? Being a doctor. These are the people that don't have choices in their tough times ahead. One of my best friends is just about tying up his 16 year process of becoming an orthopedic surgeon. He's not wiping snotty noses. He builds and fixes bones. He is fortunate in that he's a huge nerd and has had scholarships for most of his time spend in academia so his loans are minuscule compared to some others. Regardless, he should have been living high on the hog within a couple of years and taking his best friend on vacation, right? Instead, let's take a magic carpet ride through the mentalities and choices that leave him worried about finances with a wife and child - as an ORTHOPEDIC SURGEON.

The liberal, commie, pinko, hippies want everyone to feel better and be ok. Everyone deserves a fair shot and equal treatment (wrong. Jim busted his ass for 16 years to have more. Not everyone is equal). So we give away healthcare to people that are breaking the law by sneaking in - that costs money. The cost is going up to doctors, more and more people don't have the money to pay it, they lean on insurance companies who can't keep up. They are paying less to doctors and the docs have to eat the rest. Of course, the hospital wants their cut. The average Joe gets all he or she needs, the insurance company gets to pay less since they have no damn premiums coming in with everyone shaking them down for free healthcare and the highly trained, brilliant, educated doctor is left holding Herman. Let's not even talk about the price of malpractice insurance that doctors have to carry because people sue every time they see the doctor for a cold and sneeze once afterwards (must be the doctors fault for not curing them, SUE SUE SUE).

You chose to get that degree in philosophy. You chose to go for psychology which can make tons of money, but stop after a Bachelors degree. The Ph.D. at the end of the name of every psychologist means you need to stay in school to make money on it. You chose a career path with no ROI. You spent and overspent by going to a school you couldn't afford. Why should the government pay your way out of your debt? If you commit a crime, should the community do your time?

Let's also keep in mind that functioning, productive members of society take drug tests to get and keep a job. Welfare recipients don't have to. I have held a security clearance for almost a decade and have never been in a lick of trouble, yet I have to prove myself several times a year to the government that has approved and vetted me in every other way. These people can show up, grab a check for doing absolutely nothing and have no accountability for their actions in between.

I support small businesses. I'm going to make one. We will sell candles that smell like dog shit. When it doesn't do well, I want the general public to rally around me and pay my debts, even though everyone told me it was a disgusting idea and would never work. Fair?

I want to take a job that doesn't pay as much as bankers, complain how much the bankers are making, threaten to block them so they can't get to work, shit in a privately owned park, create the need for extra police, strike their vehicle and complain when I get my ass beat, file for an injunction when the city has me removed from someone else's private property and at no point try to find a solution. At a minimum, were they ever going to outline their requests and fight appropriately or just run around and bitch. Did anyone have a clear plan or organization?

I made bad choices and got thrown out of college. I went to community college and worked my way back up to NYU. I had a great job that I lost. Whose fault? My fault. The economy was bad, but not EVERYONE got fired. I could have done something better to ensure I held my spot. I went from the New York Stock Exchange and New York University to Best Buy and Berkeley College (the little shitty one in Paterson, NJ). But I didn't stop. I took my lumps and moved on. Now I'm in the United States Air Force. I made a choice to get shelter, income, benefits, education and training. Never asked to have it handed to me.

There may not be any honor in flipping burgers, but there's honor in working for yourself if that's what it takes. Make a choice to be a better person. Make a choice to change your world and enlarge your territory. Make a choice to be an active participant in taking the blame as well as the credit when the pendulum of life swings either way.

At the end of the day, your life is your own. Take control of it and make it what you want. Take the credit when it goes well. Take the blame when you fuck up. It is what it is. Nobody else will be there to fix it for you. People will show up every day to help fix it WITH you, but it's your life and ultimately you are responsible. Hate that the bankers make that money. Feel it should be distributed differently? Become one and affect change from the inside. Or just give your millions away. Don't be mad at them. They recognized a piece of the system that would reward them handsomely for their efforts. They're shady and slimy, but that's the business and they're using it to their advantage. Kudos to them for recognizing the opportunity. They're not the ones shitting in the park with no place else to go, no job that'll have them.

Questions to the OWSers:
- When you put Zucotti Park on your resume who will hire you? The big businesses you fought against or the small business you negatively affected by your presence?
- If a small business hires you, will you take the job or do you deserve more than the man/woman with their life savings invested and more sweat equity in it than there are turds in Zucotti Park?
- If a big business hires you, will you take the job because you need the money and risk being a hypocrite or will you stand your ground and be broke, making another choice but blaming the system?
- Will you reprimand your Oakland counterparts for making weapons and helping ruin your "peaceful" demonstration?

Pepsi or Coke - working or broke. The choices are yours and yours alone. Make them, stand by them and work with them to achieve your goals. The world is NOT your oyster boys and girls. It doesn't spit pearls at you. You must make it happen. I wish you luck. I want everyone to be successful. I'd help you all if I could, but first... you must help yourselves.

We all have to grow up someday

2011-11-08T18:17:00.000-06:00

On the heels of last night's blog, I got to thinking a little more about the protestors and then I spoke to my buddy about it this morning. What I didn't know was a story about a Boston restauranteur who was doing very well so he opened a restaurant in Manhattan. Unfortunately, it's only a couple of blocks from Zucotti Park. The "civil" protestors that have been living in tents have not installed indoor plumbing. So they've been shitting in the park. That's pleasant, right? That means that lots of local businesses have been suffering. This restaurant owner has lost so much traffic that he had to lay people off.

I'm not talking about the big businesses. These are small business owners, not titans of industry. These are the people the protestors claim to represent - the American working man not getting his share. Meanwhile, they are on the way to putting some of these folks out of business. That seems counter productive.

Speaking of counter... let's look at the counterculture of the 60's. Timothy Leary and his "turn on, tune in, drop out" mantra had everyone questioning authority and doing their own thing. People bucked the system and roamed around a la Jack Kerouac. They took drugs, hitchhiked and lived off of whatever they could get their hands on. They added nothing to the system, BUT... they expected nothing in return either. That's the difference. And look at those people and who they became. They are the bankers of today. My father hung out on the corner of Haight and Ashbury. Then he grew up and worked on the corner of Wall Street and Broadway.

I just started a small business that markets primarily, for now, to small businesses. And they are doing well and we are on our way to do well. There's room for the average working man to make his way and do well. It just takes work. Something this spoiled generation isn't prepared to do. It's because we spoil our kids constantly. We give them ribbons and medals for losing and we don't keep score. If you never had your heartbroken you won't appreciate love. If you've never been broke, you can't be thankful for success. The balance between good and bad is important. It helps us appreciate.

I'm sorry you're in debt with school loans. I respect higher education, but it was your choice. My father went to school at night for 6 years while married. You took a $100,000 loan to do it in 4 years? Your choice. Going to a top notch school that you couldn't afford - your choice. Choosing to take loans instead of grants - partially your choice (not everyone gets approved for all grants).

And at what point did you think a philosophy degree was a good idea? Being a philosopher has never paid the bills. So what do you do with a degree like that? You teach a bunch of folks the the theory. Then they teach people. And so it goes. Like a giant liberal arts multi-level marketing pyramid. I'm calling it "Amway for hippies." it might actually be worse than that. It's all built on perceived value rather than real, usable skills. It's like a Ponzi scheme for empty headed liberals who can't find work and protest those who can.

No free lunches. Profound thought doesn't keep the lights on. Quit shitting in the park, get a job ans distribute your own wealth. Until you contribute to what comes in, you can't decide what goes out and where. You are all the equivalent of a spoiled, petulant child mixed with an entitled soon-to-be ex-wife. You don't get half my shit and whining makes it more likely you'll catch a smack than anything.

GET. A. JOB.

Fate or chance?

2011-11-07T19:53:00.001-06:00

There was a time when I got sucked into all the new-agey crap about The Secret and the universe giving me whatever the hell I wanted just because I willed it to happen. I clung to the idea that everything that showed up in my life wasn't a coincidence, but rather some immeasurable attraction based on nonexistent radio waves coming out of my brain. I guess I was in a place where I didn't know how to achieve the things I wanted so I convinced myself that I could use some kind of universal magnetism to bring them to me. That's almost like subscribing to some mystical Laissez-faire attitude that physics and hard work don't apply to my world because the universe provides. It really all sounds kinda desperate. Looking back at The Secret I feel as if I was in the outer space version of Occupy Wall Street - Occupy the Universe.

Now I'm in a place where I bust my ass to get the things I want. I work hard at my job, I'm starting my company, my money is in order and none of it has to do with the universe. It's all about reaping the benefits of my hard work. If I don't pitch clients, I can't sign clients. If I don't deliver, they will take their business elsewhere. If I don't show up to work and do what's expected of me, I won't get to keep my job then I can't pay my bills and I'll have no electricity. There are direct, measurable cause and effect actions out there. This is why I hate the OWS movement. Consider all the money the bankers make and will continue to make because they are at work doing what they do all day every day. Consider the occupiers on the street. Collectively, how many hours have been spent? Multiple that by a decent wage and imagine how much money they could have made. Have you heard that the corporate greed mongers are looking out of their windows betting on who gets arrested next? Say what you will about the cops and their behavior, but the truth of the matter is that those who are at work on Wall Street aren't getting arrested. They are too busy earning money. The OWS nutjobs are spending taxpayers money with the increase police presence.

The interesting thing is that none of that is why I'm writing this. It is all just support for the real story. I realized today that I hate OWS just a little less. They want everyone to share success and as socialist as that sounds, I have shared a success from their efforts. See... it started a couple of weeks ago. A friend of mine posted some nonsense defending these lunatics on Facebook. Naturally, I couldn't resist responding to him. We got into a friendly debate. Out of nowhere a friend of his chimed in with the exact same position I have. Seeing the amazing logic of this person, I had to take a closer look. Imagine my surprise when I saw that this person of sound mind was also a Jets fan. Now I know there's a good head on those shoulders. What's more is that this person happens to be the kind of beautiful that stops you in your tracks when you see her. Wait a minute. Is this really a knockout, conservative, Jets fan? Sure is. What do I do? Reference her taste in football teams in a seemingly innocuous flirt that actually got her attention.

The next day, I have a Facebook friend request from the Jets fan beauty. I fire off an email to say hi and break the ice. The subsequent chain of events has both of us still a little dizzy and surprised. It starts on Facebook with messages. Then it goes to text messages. Then we're talking on the phone. Next thing I know, we are in, nearly, constant contact. There is something real brewing here. And you know what? I'm not complaining one bit. I think it's awesome and so does she. We laugh at the same stuff; we're annoyed by the same stuff. We want the same stuff. We formed an instant connection. The future is long and uncertain. Nobody can say they KNOW what will happen, but... we can feel and sense what we think will happen. I'll let it unfurl and not say anything, but it's all good stuff for sure.

So what has that got to do with The Secret? Despite my feeling that I can't will anything to happen and I can't attract it into my life I sometimes wonder if Linda (Yes her name is Linda. Yes I know. Please don't say it) coming into my life was not coincidence. I wonder if something somewhere helped arrange it. It just seems too strong of a coincidence and too random and we have too much in common for it to be happenstance. I don't really believe in fate, but some things are inexplicable and bigger than a random crossing. I'll never know what made 2 people so alike (and subsequently so happy to be around each other) end up meeting in the most random of ways. It'll always be a mystery. Here's the thing. I don't care WHY. The ends justify the means. How it happened is not nearly as important as the fact that it actually happened. We will see where this adventure takes us, but I'm a betting man and I bet it'll be somewhere great.

Ellen Degeneres pissed me off

2011-10-28T12:17:00.001-05:00

I had HBO on and an Ellen Degeneres stand up special came on. She led with a statement that it was hard for her to want to do a stand up special and it is emotional because of the tough journey since she made the decision to come out. Quite frankly, I had long since forgotten she is gay. I don't care that she's gay, just as I wouldn't care if she was straight. If she, and others like her, feel like they are under a microscope for being gay, QUIT BRINGING IT UP.

If I was a stand-up comedian or in the spotlight for any reason and opened with a statement that I'm straight, nobody would care. OK, people haven't always felt that way about homosexuals. And when it was particularly bad, homosexuals would stay closeted. As time marches on, less and less people care about the sexual orientation of others. I'm not gay. I don't want to be gay. I don't want to be hit on by someone who is gay because that's not my way. However I don't give a shit if you're heterosexual, homosexual, transsexual, asexual, pansexual or any other kind of sexual is out there.

All people (of different gender, race, creed, sexual orientation, national origin etc) want is to be accepted. They just wan to be exist. Bottom line is that not EVERYONE is going to accept you for you so stop highlighting the issue that separates you. In some cases, you're creating one. In some cases, you're actually alerting people to what makes you different and drawing the line in the sand yourself. Everyone knew about Ellen Degeneres. You came out. Congratulations. It was hard and a big deal... THEN. Now it's over.

When she said it, my first thought was, here we go. You're unfunny in the first place so you're going to win people over with this shit. Nobody cares. Then it got worse. She actually opened with that statement and then said this, "I knew that some people would want me to talk about it, some people would maybe not want me to talk about it and I went back and forth trying to decide - should I talk about it, should I not talk about it - and ultimately I decided - no, I don't want to talk about it." WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU JUST DID?

So now the entire audience is reminded and proud of you for coming out again. Those that agree are just smitted by your resolve to stay in show business. Those that disagree aren't offended enough because you played to them by saying you're not going to talk about it because some may not want you to.

You're a woman who likes women. Who cares? It's not like you're the first. You're certainly not the last. Just be yourself. If you're a comic, be funny. Don't draw sympathy. It's pretty pathetic. If you're not a comedian, still... just be you. The world doesn't need to know your business.

She said one more line before I bailed out. "It's been talked about enough." Apparently not because you keep bringing it up. And then I turned it off. She's not particularly funny in the first place and the "hey world look at me because I'm gay and came out." routine is an extreme turn off. Whatever your orientation is, it's YOURS. Leave us alone. I'm for gay rights, but gay pride is getting a little obnoxious now. If I held a straight parade I'd get crucified. But that's a topic for another day.

Asshole%

2011-10-25T12:29:00.000-05:00

Occupy Wall Street just pisses me off further and further every day. These people are pissed off at everyone with more money than them. Judging by the fact that they spend all day in the streets protesting, I'd say it's a safe bet that everyone will have more money than them in no time. In any event, they've taken their cause from one epicenter of money to another. The east coast based Occupy Wall Street has a left coast contingent called Occupy Hollywood. Let's bitch at all the actors that have too much money.

They are now calling celebrities the Asshole% for all the money they have. Guess what OWS/OH!! America is the cause of their money. We fund it. We buy tickets to movies and concerts. We watch the news and spew it all over social networking sites. We love a good scandal. We gobble up every possible way to scrutinize these individuals and fault them for what ~~they have~~ we gave them.

A blog called "But you're like really pretty" has gained attention in the past for its satire aimed at celebrities. It is a webcomic, published every Wednesday, that makes fun of every Hollywood scandal we can't seem to stop talking about. These comics have become the hood ornament for Occupy Hollywood and it has decided to weigh in on the topic.

Some of the actors/actresses it has addressed are:

Justin Bieber - "I'm 17 and worth 85,000,000. I am the asshole%. #occupyhollywood."

I find no talent in Justin Bieber. I've heard very little of his stuff, but what I have heard sounds to heavily processed that they can do that to anyone's voice to make it better. I was also singing about heartbreak at 14 so he's basically an asshole, HOWEVER, $85M worth of fans dig him. His money didn't fall from the sky.

Andersen Cooper - "Gay teenagers are being bullied everyday. Some are committing suicide. But I won't come out publicly. I am the asshole%. #occupyhollywood."

He's a news reporter that may or may not be gay. He's not obligated to come out publicly. Will it help young gay people? Maybe, but I can't see how. Does he feel he'd be hurting his life if he did? It seems so. I guess the point is that you think he's an asshole for doing what's best for himself first. We have to take care of ourselves. Kinda of like all the "occupiers" out there trying to get their piece of the pie.

Beyonce - "I'm pregnant with my first child. I am building the baby a 2,200 square ft nursery. I am the asshole%. #occupyhollywood."

You wouldn't do that if you could? Have you hard Beyonce sing or seen her dance? You want a piece of what she's got. Do what she does. Oh wait, you can't? Then you don't deserve it. It might be over the top - 2,200 sq ft is a house in itself - but she earned the right.

Lady Gaga - "I'm wearing meat on my head right now. I made $100,000,000 this year. I am the asshole%. #occupyhollywood."

What you may not know is that is Gaga started off normal with a little bit of a weird streak. Her first agent, based in Parsippany, NJ told her to play up the weird. She was initially resistant. He insisted the public would love it, she turned up the volume and people are waiting for her next stunt constantly. Whether it's a meat suit, a bubble dress, or her coming out of an egg, everyone wants to see what she'll pull next. And none of this behavior was her idea. It was the fact that everyone knows crazy Americans want it.

And my favorite...

Snooki - "I blackout every Thursday night on national television and make millions. SHOTS. SHOTS. SHOTS. I am the asshole%. #occupyhollywood."

I hate Snookie, the show, her castmates and everything about it. I think it's disgusting. I think it portrays my home in a bad light that is not indicative of the entire state - yet people from around the country don't know that, so Jersey Shore become the their only frame of reference. The cast is not even from New Jersey, to make it even less realistic. They do all the things they should be embarrassed about and get paid for all of it. It is disgusting behavior and I refuse to watch it. I won't support it. I rarely talk about it publicly. In the days of social networking and social media, I try not to use those words in a way that can be searched or indexed by marketers. Snooki is the asshole%, but we put her there so other than opinions, we can't try to stop it. Boycott is all you can do.

The whole point is that we create these by our attention, money, public admission of likes/dislikes, etc. Why didn't they make shows like this in the 1950's? Because it was inappropriate and nobody would go, they studio would shut down after going broke. Actors wouldn't get hired if they acted this way. People wouldn't spend the amount of money.

WE MADE IT ALL OK!! WE did. Not the actors. Not the studio. US. Don't like it? Fix it. Lobby for family values. Gather people to boycott the movies until Hollywood can't afford to pay people these sums of money anymore. Affect change. Don't picket and complain how stars spend the money we gave them. It's like buying me a painting for my birthday and complaining where I hang it in my house. It makes no sense.

Occupy a job position

2011-10-17T13:09:00.000-05:00

This Occupy Wall Street thing is getting out of hand. I'm not even sure what they stand for anymore. Is there an actual cause at this pont or are they just angry at everyone with disposable income over just about anything? They want the rich to pay more taxes, they're screaming down with corporate America, they're shitting on flags, one tackled a cop. I don't know what the hell is going on with these dopes.

Let's talk about taxes first. Just to be sure I'm not speaking on emotion, I did some research and math. What I have is cold, hard facts. Up through 2000, the wealthy paid 39.6% in taxes. Consider that. That's about 40 cents of every dollar made going to the government. In 2002 it dropped to 38.6%. However on the low end a new tax bracket was created. Where it was previously 15%, it was now 10%. Keep in mind that the highest bracket starts at $379,150 and doesn't stop. So $379k/year is considered the same level of wealth as $2 million or $50 million. Occupy Wall Street feels the rich aren't paying their share. They are paying a higher percentage of a higher number.

Now let's run the numbers. Round numbers like $100 being the high side and $25 being the low. The high pays that 40% and the low pays that 10%. 40% of $100 is $40. 10% of $25 is $2.50. So the rich guy is paying $40 in taxes and the not so rich guy pays $2.50. Who isn't doing their part? Now let's use some real numbers from the bracket structure. $379,150 and we'll take the 35% that it dropped to in 2003. That is a whopping $132,702.50. That's what that person pays in TAXES. Imagine that. They pay in taxes what many people make in a year. That is a shitload of money. $8500 is the high side of the low bracket at 10%. That's $850 paid. Now you tell me which person is going to help improve roads or buy books for schools. Honestly, how can you say that the rich aren't paying enough? What do you want? Half? More?

The other thing people have been saying is down with corporate America. They've been doing it from their iPhones and other smartphones. Some have been camping in Eddie Bauer tents and taking pictures with Canon cameras. All of these people are complaining about the greed of corporate America while using products and services from all the companies they claim to hate. In some case they were complaining specifically about a company while use its products. How does that make ANY sense at all?

One guy actually dropped his pants and shit on an American flag in the middle of the street. That's disgusting, it's unsanitary, it's disrespectful and disgraceful, it's nonsensical, and it should be treasonous. Ok the last one is just an opinion. But tell me how in the hell that was going to help his cause? And the people that are there saw that as a good idea. They are standing around in the picture laughing. If you hate America and all of its systems so badly, just leave. Canada gives away healthcare and charges tons of taxes. Does your shit make the rich pay more taxes?

One of these non-violent tackled a cop on Saturday. Granted, the've mostly been peaceful and this situation in particular is 100% unique, but do you know WHY? It happened. The protestors were about to get arrested en masse so he tackled a cop. Why were they about to get arrested? They weren't complying with an eviction request. Before you blame the government, consider the source of the eviction request. It was the owner of Zucotti Park. It's PRIVATE PROPERTY. As a result, the NYPD (who were heroes of the world for so many years) started to corral the protestors when some of them began pushing against the police officer's scooters. In what world is it smart to get physical with a cop? The whole thing escalate and, naturally, the Internet is saying the cops were brutal. Honestly, the whole thing was over the top on both sides. Keep in mind it started because protestors were evicted from private property, didn't want to go and shoved cops.

All of these individual situations aside, what the fuck is wrong with these people? This is not how you affect change? Do you think those that make all the money on Wall Street were handed those jobs? C'mon now. All the time you spend on the streets, you could have been working and adding to society. Try getting an education. Try showing some work ethic. Be functioning members of society. You may think you're making a difference, you're just making fools of yourselves.

I'm just glad I don't work down there anymore. I couldn't handle watching this shit on a daily basis.

The decision has been made and that's it

2011-10-09T14:13:00.000-05:00

The 1 thing I simply cannot stand about the military is the inability of people to accept your decisions regarding the military and the need to project their own values and ideas. Some people do 1 enlistment. Some people stick around for a while and leave to find happiness elsewhere. Some stay 20 years and some even 30. To each their own.

Don't tell me about the pension. 50% of my pay at 20 years will be about $24k/year BEFORE taxes. I can make up DOUBLE that money (on top of my pay) starting in a couple of years. To make my current base bay and my retirement pension I need a whopping $60k/year. That's my military base pay and 50% of what my base pay at 20 years (all averaged, estimated and rounded, of course). Add in the fact that my retirement pay would kick in 12 years from now. My civilian pay would kick in 2 years from now. That $24k over 10 years is a quarter-million dollars ahead than just starting at retirement. And none of that accounts for making a raise in the interim or actually starting above $60k in the first place. It's not fiscally responsible to stay in the Air Force, for me - as if money was the only reason.

You may want to travel the world and move from place to place. I do not. I've lived in 2 house my entire life. I like being still and settled. I love being close to my family and friends. I love my city and the general area. I love the type of work. I'm left a little disenchanted after 8 years in the Air Force over certain things (none of which I'll divulge for 2 reasons. 1) My personal feelings and experiences are my own and 2) It's not my place to paint the Air Force negatively to outsiders).

I've spoken about this before. Increasingly, as the days grow shorter and my separation grows nearer, people get preachy. They get on their soapbox and try to recruit me. Some people know my situation intimately and others don't. I'm equally annoyed. If you know me through and through, then you know what makes me, me. You know why I'm doing what I'm doing. You know my priorities. Respect them and leave me the hell alone about staying in. You want to stay in? Go for it. It's YOUR life. Mine is MINE. If you're in the group that knows me well, then you're a friend and why would a friend want to keep me here if it's not the right long term move for me. Selfish much?

If you're in the other group that doesn't know me well, then you are in NO place whatsoever to wax intellectual about what my future should entail, plain and simple. You cannot make an informed decision without the details, most of which you don't have and most of which you will not get. You simply are not capable of selling me on anything from where you stand.

This goes on constantly. It happened at my last base before I reenlisted (of which I had no intention of doing). I ended up doing it because my situation changed. My relationship status, economic status, educational status all changed nearly at once. However, I'm single, the economy is better, I started my own company and my degree will be done this time around.

I will have done 10 years in service when I leave. Less than 1% of people ever put the uniform on for a day. I took from this country as a young man doing well. Then I spent 10 years giving back. I did my part. I did it well. I did it with pride. It's simply time to move on. It's also time for EVERYONE to understand, accept and respect that. If you convert oxygen to carbon dioxide trying to re-recruit me, you'll be doing wasting time and, chances are, I'll react poorly. I'm done listening, justifying and selling YOU on MY plans.

I'm ready for some football

2011-10-04T10:12:00.000-05:00

I'm actually ready to hear Hank Williams, Jr. ask me if I'm ready for some football. He was conspicuously missing though, wasn't he? Want to know why? Because he made an analogy that was taken out of context and now he's been pulled from Monday Night Football. Here's what happened. He was interviewed on Fox and Friends recently where they asked him about his political views. If you know anything about Hank Williams, Jr other than his music (which I don't really know), it should be that he is strong in his views and speaks his mind freely. That being said, he was taken out of context.

They asked him who his favorite GOP candidate is and he said nobody. He then referenced a golf game between Boehner and Obama and said that was the tipping point for him. They, naturally, asked him why. He said that would be like Hitler playing golf with Netanyahu. At that point, it all broke down and nobody paid attention to what he said after. They were all convinced he just compared Obama to Hitler. Gretchen who is hotter than she is smart even verbalized that.

As far as I know, Obama has not committed genocide which makes him very different from Hitler. He hasn't tried to enforce those crazy socialist views through force or violence. Also makes him different from Hitler. No sane person would be able to make it stick that they are alike, but Fox and Friends think that's what he meant. Let's keep in mind that it was Fox that interviewed Williams. Not like he barged into the studio.

He also said, "it's like Hitler playing golf with Netanyahu." Notice he didn't say "Hitler playing golf with Boehner." He didn't make a direct comparison. He goes on to talk about the polarization of the parties and how we are at the most polarized point in our history. Can you imagine Hitler hanging out drinking a tasty german Hefeweizen and clinking with Netanyahu's Manischewitz? No way! Why? Aside from the obvious time period differences, there's the fact that they are at opposite ends of the spectrum. Polarized, if you will.

That's what he meant. He didn't mean that Obama was Hitler. He meant that two dudes who will be opponents and at the furthest ends of the spectrum have no business being social. If you like Boehner (or even Obama for that matter), then you probably don't want to see either one of them slide away from what makes them, them.

ESPN said, "While Hank Williams, Jr. is not an ESPN employee, we recognize that he is closely linked to our company through the open to Monday Night Football. We are extremely disappointed with his comments, and as a result we have decided to pull the open from tonight's telecast."

Did anyone think he worked for ESPN? Would this hurt ESPN's brand? This was really not necessary. That open is iconic and has gone hand in hand with MNF for over 20 years. The guy makes one comment that has been taken out of context and now that's all over. So reactionary and stupid, but that's what I've come to expect from 90% of people.

Big and easy... to dislike

2011-10-02T11:43:00.000-05:00

I've been living in southern Mississippi for two years now and I can count on one hand the amount of times I've been in New Orleans. People down here rave about it. I have friends that go from Biloxi all the time. Some from Florida. It's an aggregation point for people all looking for... something. I will admit that structurally and architecturally the city is absolutely gorgeous. I love the old European ornate facades on the building and all the wrought iron work throughout. Walking around during the day to take pictures, for example, it's a nice place, but as far as I'm concerned, that's as far as it goes.

Other than that, I don't understand what's to love about it. The people there are awful. For starters they are rude to out of towners, which is amazing for a town that thrives on tourism. The shop owners are ok, but the people on the street are just generally bastards. They go where they want to go and if you're there - too bad. That's the reputation that New Yorkers have because we move fast. We will swerve around you, not bowl you over.

Speaking of the world bowl... that's how the city is shaped, AND it's below sea level, AND the Gulf of Mexico is on one side AND Lake Ponchartrain is on the other. Fill a sink with water and submerge a bowl and see what happens. I'll wait. Back? So that was Hurricane Katrina. When you did it, were you surprised at what happened? They were. I understand that Katrina was the worst hurricane we've ever seen but that bitch COVERED the Gulf of Mexico. People were told to bug out while they had a change. They didn't and then they complained. Are you kidding me?

I'm not sure I would have known the difference before or after Katrina came through. If you've ever been on Bourbon Street after dark it's a disaster anyway. It is covered in shit (literal horse shit) and smells like urine. You'll more than likely step in vomit if you go down a smaller side street. Drunk people clutter the streets to the point you can't move. You wear things you don't particularly care about in case they get ruined. And then there's the nudity. Believe me, I love a topless lady as much as the next guy, but drunk, sloppy yanking your shirt off for plastic beads while being groped or licked by strangers (as is a common scene there) is just pure filth.

The language is the other thing that bugs me. It's a combination of southern and French, infused with just a bit of uneducated and it's called Cajun. Cultural pride is awesome. Believe me, I love my ethnicity and heritage and the culture and traditions that come with it. I have an Italian flag tattooed on my forearm. But culture cannot trump the ability to interact with the public at large. Your language and speech patterns may be part of your culture but you thrive on tourism so be able to speak to tourists and have them understand your words.

While we're on the topic of language, let's talk about your football team. For starters, the Saints are not the best team ever. They were the worst team ever (all 43 years of their existence) that had A good year. So, back to language and football. "Who Dat?" is not awesome. You wanna know who dat is? Dat is the guy that sound like he can't pass 2nd grade English. Dat is the guy that I wouldn't hire to sweep the floors. After they won the super bowl, "Who Dat?" became "Two Dat!" which obviously didn't go very far. It just sounds uneducated and ignorant.

Every place on Earth has its share of people who act that way. The difference is that New Orleans (pronounced, and sometimes spelled, as Nawlins by the locals) is PROUD of it. They are resistant to bettering themselves and appearing more productive. I have no love for that city and don't understand those that do. I'm not faulting or condemning. I just don't get it. I've asked bunches of that frequent the city, "Why is it cool?" and they say a) because it's awesome (not an explanation), b) because there's no place like it (there's no place like prison and that's a good thing. Still doesn't tell me why New Orleans is cool), c) they talk about the nightlife (which you can get anywhere and you said there's n place like it). I have not yet gotten one person to really explain the infatuation. Cuisine would be a partially acceptable answer. The French inspired, Cajun cuisine is fairly unique, but nobody has ever claimed it in conversation with me.

I guess living here on the Gulf Coast I hear about New Orleans constantly. I Get told I should go more often. People get irritated with me when I say "I'm not interested" and I get responses like, "What's wrong with you? It's awesome. You need to go." If you know me then you know that forcefulness gets you nowhere with me. I do not NEED to go. There's nothing wrong with me. I have an opinion and it differs from yours. Move along.

Save critical comments. It's a personal feeling. I don't like the place. I stated why. If you like it, go there and hang out. I've been. I've checked it out. My decision has been made on first hand information, not blind hate for something I've never seen. It is what it is.

I am a doctor

2011-09-20T22:33:00.001-05:00

Or at least I'll claim to be 6 months after I separate from the Air Force. Either I'll get the job as a doctor or get rich when a hospital tells me I'm not qualified. That is, if President Oblahblah passes this jobs bill soon. See, there's a clause that said businesses have to hire people who have been unemployed for a long time. If they don't, the candidate can sue them. So far there are no parameters about this. So I plan to be the chief of surgery for a large hospital with tons of money or I'll sue.

There is a $4,000 tax credit for hiring the unemployed and penalties for discriminating against them. Six months seems to be the magic number. Here is what will happen. People newly unemployed will get no jobs. People unemployed longer than six months will get no jobs. People unemployed right around 4-6 months will get tons of jobs.

Here's the rub. The penalties are for interviewing and not hiring the long term unemployed because it is considered discrimination. So, don't interview them. I realize I'm jeopardizing my career in medicine by letting this out, but the whole thing is just so silly. If they are never interviewed then they can't be hired yet the company is out of the woods on a discrimination suit.

However, if you're unemployed for just about 5 months I can interview you and ensure you start work just after the 6 month mark. I still get the tax credit. It's perfectly legal. Honestly, who starts the next day? You haven't been out of work for a year so your skill set is still sharp. You're not newly unemployed and screwing me out of my 4 grand either. Plus I get Barry O's seal of approval for putting people back to work under his program.

If you're newly unemployed I get no cash so you're out of luck. I'm sure as hell not getting sued over this shit other. So stay out of work for about 5 months and you're golden. Every company will realize this almost immediately. The ones that don't have earned the lawsuit. Remember the term "a fool and his money are soon parted?"

Score another one for socialist, help the world views backfiring nearly immediately.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

I guess you can ask now

2011-09-20T12:19:00.000-05:00

As almost everyone who pays attention to the world around them knows, "Don't ask, don't tell" has come to an end. It is now ok for homosexuals to serve openly in the military. The confusion is that people believed that they couldn't serve previously. Untrue. They could. Just not admittedly. So to be gay in the military meant to be celibate. Here's the downer for folks in the military that are gay. Even though they can be open and in a relationship and live their lives as they see fit, they still can't get married. The defense of marriage act specifies that marriage is between opposite genders and that the states can't force other states to recognize same-sex marriage and the federal government can't recognize it as well. So steps have been taken but it's clearly not done. I think it's progressive, it was a matter of time, and it's just evolution away from ignorance.

I do have an issue with the execution of a couple of things however. Let's look at the bathroom situation. Currently, men and women are kept separate to avoid unprofessional situations. Now, I love women. I also love my paycheck. I also love not being in trouble. So, in field conditions if I had to be in the shower with a woman, I may sneak a peek, but I'm going to remain professional. They still won't put men and women in the shower together because of the potential for a problem. Some people may not be professional and cross the line. I'm also not attracted to EVERY woman out there, but women as a whole interest me, so that association is right out.

Gay men and straight men will have to share showers. Doesn't this put us in the same category as straight men and women? I know that not every gay man is interested in every straight man. Maybe no gay man is interested in me, but the potential is there just like me with a woman, right? Odds are that sooner or later a person in the shower (or bunk) with a member of the sex they are attracted to will see something specifically that interests them. That's uncomfortable. You wanna look, then look. I don't spook easily. But I've known of enough calls to the SARC (Sexual Response Assault Coordinator) over hetero situations gone awry, that I take issue with tempting fate.

I get it, gay men and women have always been in the military. Nothing is new there. However, they were all closeted during "Don't ask, don't tell" to avoid a break in their service as a whole. This has given a much needed freedom, but the military has not taken the time to mitigate the risks. Think about a gay man and a straight woman in a shower - very little opportunity to inappropriate conduct there.

The other issue I have is on the part of the homosexual military community. This ban has been lifted for a mere 13 hours. A Navy male couple has a marriage ceremony scheduled for today. Announcements have been made to co-workers. Videos posted of military members coming out to their parents on the phone - recorded as it happened.

I don't tell the world - "I LOVE WOMEN!!!" Why? Because it's the most common way and it's assumed. No, because it's none of anyone's fucking business who I prefer to see naked. It is what it is. It's my life. Gay people have been saying for so long that it's their personal choice to love who they love and it's not the business of anyone to interfere. Well then, don't announce it and invite trouble into your lives. It's like celebrities who put themselves in the limelight withe life they choose and get mad the paparazzi and scrutiny. You've been granted your wish. You can be openly gay. Now stop drawing attention to yourselves.

Also, keep in mind that for the ENTIRE HISTORY of the military, this has not been allowed. A few months ago the law was passed and we all had our training. Now a few months later it's ok. This is a huge culture shift. This is something that changes the dynamic across the entire military. And it's not a regular job. It's a lifestyle. We not only work together, but we live together, travel together, fight together and, at ties, die together. You want it go smooth? Help people with the transition by using some discretion and not making a big deal about it. I know it's a relief and you want to celebrate, but wouldn't you prefer acceptance and long term happiness? Should people be more accepting? Not important. What is important is what people ARE. They are young, for the most part. The average new entrant to the military is 18 years old. Not exactly fully mature or worldly. Many military members are also from conservative, small towns in middle America, not the liberal, accepting, melting pots of the big cities. You may be the first gay person they've met. Have you readily accepting EVERY new thing you've ever been faced with?

In the end, it'll work itself out and will become a way of life. However, it will be a hard enough road in the meantime without the wanton disregard for people's need to figure it out that will be disruptive to the mission and the lives of people in the military. It takes time. You got what you needed, now give those around you the opportunity to evolve with it.

10 years later, I'm changed

2011-09-11T09:54:00.000-05:00

Right now, my parents and my brother are on their way to downtown Manhattan to hear the rest of the names read at Ground Zero. They go for the second half because it is in that half that they hear the name Thomas Sabella. He was my uncle; my mother's brother. To hear all the names is an emotional undertaking too great. I know; just watching it on TV year after year wreaks great havoc on my ability to persist and function for the day.

People all over are weeping today, more than any other day, being the anniversary. It's in our faces, no matter how we try to avoid it. I'm far away. I'm serving in the active duty Air Force, due not in small part to what happened that day.

Lives have been and continue to be disrupted over an act of hate. So much death and destruction.

All for what? Because some radical sons of bitches just can't handle the way we do business here in the United States of America. I get that we've been doing it our way for 200 years and you've been doing it your way for 2,000 years. So fucking what? It's none of your damn business. Not to mention the fact that your radical asses are misreading your holy book in the first place. So what do you do? Come at us like cowards. Don't fight a war. Don't stand up and address it to the world. You sneak in and create this horrific event. Try it again. I fucking dare you. Man the fuck up and come down here because I swear that with every ounce of energy, resolve, anger, hurt, and strength that I possess I will squeeze every ounce of life out of any terrorist that dares step foot back in this country that I love and serve. Stand in front of me and tell me you celebrate 9/11/01, agree with what happened, or show allegiance to the radical extremist and believe in Jihad; then see what the fuck happens next. I'll show you Jihad and happily send you on your way.

Any you know what else? I, never in my life, felt I could take another human life for ANY reason. That has all changed. You and your actions have changed me, and not for the better so add that to the pile of reasons I hate you. You've turned me into someone capable of hate and able to feel like I could take life.

So after all that you did, you failed. We are not destroyed or demoralized. We've only gotten closer as a country and now we're on the hunt for you. You fucked up. We will find and exterminate every last one of you and remain the United States of America. It was all for naught, that you did.

Any terrorist scumbag up to my challenge? Feel free to stop by!

10 is just a number like 9

2011-09-07T14:26:00.000-05:00

With the impending 10th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, everyone (specifically the media) is in a frenzy about it. It seems to be a bigger deal than any of the years prior and I'm not sure that I understand why. It's just a number. Why is 10 more important than 9 or 8 or 3, for examples. Every year is hard for many people. You would think that with each year it gets easier and less important. By the way, by less important I don't mean to diminish anything associated with that date. You know that I, of all people, do not water down the meaning. I just mean more tolerable. Less intrusive on life. So why, when the 10 hits, do we amp it all up again?

Is it because we use a base 10 numbering system and we are conditioned to think in units of 10? Is it the same reason why our birthdays are a bigger deal when we hit 10, 20, 30, 40, etc? Those are even sillier because people say you're starting a new decade. Meanwhile, you don't start it until after your birthday passes. Your birthday is completion of a decade, not the start of another. I suppose the entire event is not past or future as much as it is just transitional commencement.

But as for 9/11, I fear it's almost becoming celebratory in some ways. Yay! We made it 10 years. We don't act and live it every day like we used to. We have gone back to our day to day lives. We cut people off again. We tell people to go fuck themselves. We took down the flags from our cars. We are angry, entitled Americans over and over. The "never forget" bumper stickers are so faded that we've even forgotten what they once said.

So why 10? It's just another year that I won't sleep well for the next two weeks. Tears are shed in the most impromptu of situations and often at inappropriate times and circumstances. I've been doing this every year since 2001. Frankly, I can't handle all the hoopla. Each year I try to minimize the impact to my life and, subsequently, the collateral damage that are the people around me who endure me around now.

Then it all picks up steam because an arbitrary number we focus on for no real reason has arrived. Not helpful. You want to affect change? Live your life like a hero who sacrificed life for strangers and do it every day. Don't do a dog and pony show because it's 10 years and turn my shit upside down.

It's my money and I'll donate if I want to

2011-08-30T12:49:00.000-05:00

I couldn't decide where to put this. I was thinking Vig the Geek, but it's more personal even though it's about someone in technology. I wanted to do a video to really capture the annoyance. In the end I thought this might be the place for it because it's personal venting about my own ideas and other people's inability to think straight.

I read an article today called "The Mystery of Steve Jobs' Public Giving." It was a New York Times article by Andrew Ross Sorkin. We all know that the gray lady leans left so I shouldn't be surprised they they judge people by the lack of philanthropy. This article is SO ridiculous, however, that I couldn't leave it ignored. I really suggest you read it so you'll understand why I'm annoyed. This guy Sorkin clearly does not know Steve Jobs at all even through he claims he's been an admirer of his for some time.

First let's look at the definition of the word: "Philanthropy - the desire to promote welfare of others, expressed esp. by the generous donation of money to good causes." The desire, not the expectation. Not just the act. So when someone makes a billion dollars and gives it away to keep stupid NY Times reporters off his/her back, it's not philanthropic. It's buffing the image to shut up the people who focus on the wrong part of the story.

Also, this guy's writing is atrocious. I'm assuming that the NY Times has editors, but I may be wrong in my assumption. Mr. Sorkin likes the word long and re-uses it in a certain context over and over. His repetition is awful.
"None of this is meant to judge Mr. Jobs. I have long been a huge admirer of Mr. Jobs"
"There has long been speculation of a $150 million donation..."
"But the lack of public philanthropy by Mr. Jobs - long whispered about..."
"(Mr. Steinhardt has long held an inexplicable grudge"

Let's look at the meat of the article. Sorkin wonders why Jobs hasn't publicly given money to any charity or signed the Giving Pledge. He also goes on to talk about the likelihood that Jobs has given away money privately or anonymously. He says, "His wife, Lauren Powell Jobs, sits on the boards of Teach for America, and the New Schools Venture Fund, among others, and presumably donates money to those organizations, though neither she nor her husband are listed among its big donors."

He also reminds us that Steve has been battling Pancreatic cancer for many years and underwent a liver transplant in 2009 in Memphis because California did not have a donor list. It does now, thanks to Jobs' intervention and conversation with Maria Shriver - first lady to the governor of California.

He compares Jobs to Gates. Gates had a larger fortune, earlier than Jobs and stopped working earlier. Jobs had his focus on Apple until 4 days ago. He compares Jobs to Warren Buffett. Buffett is the world's richest man, Jobs is not by a longshot.

Here's the deal. Can Steve Jobs afford to be more philanthropic? Sure. Would it hurt to give a few bucks away? Nope. Does he HAVE to? No. Should he be buffeted by slanderous, poorly written attacks from liberal news organizations if he doesn't? ABSO-FREAKIN-LUTELY NOT! Steve is a self-proclaimed hippy who doesn't care about money. He's not hoarding it, although it's within his rights to do so. His focus was on Apple. He felt he could do more good within Apple. Restoring its profitability and creating products good for the world is his version of philanthropy. Did you or Mr. Sorkin know that the education department of Apple is something hat held Steve's focus. Getting computers into schools has (to steal from Sorkin's style) long been one of Apple's strengths.

Steve is a quiet man. He wears jeans and raggedy shoes with a black turtleneck. He's no ostentatious with his fortune. He's not public about his life in any way. He doesn't care about the money. He doesn't care about the glory. He's the antithesis of what I would be with $8.3 billion in the bank. He started Apple in a garage and got thrown out. He masterminded his way back in and brought the company from the brink of bankruptcy to the powerhouse it is today. He's changed the world of computing. He's revamped technology as we know it. He's fostered a culture and community in apple to do the same thing after his departure. But he hasn't written a check - at least not publicly.

It's his money. He has every right to keep every last nickel if he wants. He worked for it. He's not Paris Hilton that's famous for her last name and a using a night-vision camera. He worked for that money. He created. What's the last thing the average person created besides a macaroni picture frame and popsicle pot holder. He invented from nothing and was rewarded for his efforts. He focused on making great products for people while battling to stay alive for the last 8 or so years.

I like the part that says, "Mr. Jobs views on charity are unclear since he rarely talks about it." Well, Mr. Sorkin, if you had a clue you'd realize that Mr. Jobs rarely talks about ANYTHING unless he's on stage for a keynote. He's a private man. You started the article saying that none of this was to judge Mr. Jobs, yet you compared him to everyone that does more than he does. and explained how those who don't give had to defend themselves with statements to the ones Steve Jobs makes. I'm pretty sure your goal was to take everyone who read your article and shift their focus away from the amazing products he's created, the resurgence for Apple that happened at his hands, his ailing health and current fight for his life, the changes Apple will undergo with his departure and turn them it toward the face that he doens't give public charitable donations.

I hope one day he goes public with millions of dollars he's given away and he sends you the receipts. This is irresponsible journalism in my opinion. I didn't like it when they got on Gates' case about it. I didn't like hearing "Finally" toward Buffett when he decided to give away his fortune.

At the end of the day, any money a person makes is their own. It's nice to give back, but they should never be made to feel that HAVE to and damn sure shouldn't be judged if they don't. Let's say Jobs has $8.3 billion and he should give away 5%. That's $415 million. So Sorkin, let's say you make $100,000. Are you even donating 5 grand a year? I doubt it. It's still the same percentage. Dollar for dollar, to scale.

Judge not, lest ye be judged. And leave poor Steve Jobs alone. He left the company he built and loved because he's, more than likely, dying.

A good buy?

2011-08-28T15:16:00.001-05:00

Best Buy has come under fire from the general public because they were selling cases of water for $40 to people affected by hurricane Irene. Everyone is in an outrage over the whole thing. I disagree. I think $40 is unreasonable for a case of water, which is why I would never swipe my card for it. First, I think it's important to note that people who are so unprepared for a hurricane that they have to buy water from Best Buy get what they deserve with $40 cases. If a hurricane is headed your way, why are you in Best Buy in the first place.

Anyway, people are going berserk about this. The particular store declined to comment which spun people into pissed off even further. Today Best Buy, as a company, came out with a statement about the whole thing. Here is their statement:

We truly appreciate all of you making us aware of your feedback in regards to one of our stores selling cases of bottled water priced inappropriately.
After receiving requests to buy cases of bottled water rather than individual bottles as we typically sell them, the team involved posted the cumulative price of each item, as the price for the case.
Best Buy did not intend to take advantage of the need for supplies in the wake of Hurricane Irene and we corrected the matter immediately.

Of course, rather than understand this, the public is even MORE pissed off about it. People are boycotting Best Buy over it. That's a good idea. Go somewhere else. You think this gigantic corporation is going to miss your business? They made a mistake, they apologized. All of you faultless people can't understand what it's like to have a flaw. There are currently 229 comments on Best Buy's Facebook page, most of which are screaming that the company is full of assholes.

Best Buy sells water by the bottle at the checkout line. It's probably about 2 bucks, maybe $1.70. That sounds like it's close to $40 for 24 bottles. Typically, when you buy things by the case, it's cheaper than the sum of its parts. Maybe Best Buy should have had a price for the case as a whole but what you may have forgotten is that they sell ELECTRONICS. The water bottles is a convenience along with the Coke/Sprite/Dr.Pepper/etc on checkout. It's no different than the Snickers bars and National Enquirers in the supermarket. As anyone who has spent even an hour working a register in a supermarket knows, often things don't scan. This means the UPC barcode is not in the system or there is no SKU for that product.

Is it possible that this affects Best Buy? I'd say it's not only possible or even likely, but definite that they do not have a code for a case of water. Know why? They don't sell it by the case. So people are stupid and unprepared and shopping for DVDs in case the power goes out and realize "Oh shit... we have no water." So they ask Best Buy if they can buy a case of it. There's no way to ring it up other than charging for 24 bottles x price per bottle. It's that or nothing. They try to help out the stupid masses in a pinch and get slammed for it.

Next time, get your ass up and get the necessities, not a new TV.

Furry family member, Part II

2011-08-24T13:06:00.001-05:00

I'm faced with a really tough decision.

Benny is a kitten and therefore he is hyper and overbearing. However, he is a lot of each of these even for a kitten. He is way over the top and can be quite irritating. He's still adorable and I love him though. He's funny and playful and SUPER lovey and everyone enjoys playing with him. He's just a hyper little kid who doesn't know when enough is enough. He's that kid that you pick up throw around and when it's all over he stops, catches his breath, looks up and says, "Again Daddy!" Ugh. Not again. I'm tired. But that's my dopey little boy.

Here's the situation. Last night, dopey locked himself in the bathroom while I was watching TV. He stands on his back legs and leans on the door until it swings shut and he's stuck inside (EVERY door in my home needs a doorstop because he does this a lot lately). He's also like a kid in the sense that he's never quiet and you wish he would be, but the moment he is, you get worried. Uh oh. Benny isn't in my face or knocking stuff over, something is wrong here.

While he was enduring his self imposed incarceration (and as it turns out, turning toilet paper into confetti), the other two were VERY different. Shadow jumps up on my lap while I'm reclining on the couch and does a spin and collapse to cuddle. The only time she cuddles with me is when I'm asleep, she sleeps at my feet. NEVER does she curl up on the lap, although she used to. Herbie was not far behind. Herbie is cool, let me tell you. He just chills. Nothing really riles him up (except a laser pointer). He give casual headbutts and rubs against my legs when he's hungry but he was named Herbie after Herbie the Lovebug because he just could not get enough of being cuddly. Now, as anyone who has been here can attest to, he can barely be found. Last night he cuddled up just like Shadow did.

All of a sudden, it occurs to me that the one who is normally in my face is totally missing so I freed Benny boy from the bathroom. Immediately he comes into the living room and jumps on my lap. Where are Shadow and Herbie? MIA. They are not aggressive like him and won't fight for attention. A little while later I picked up Herbie and he was cool until Benny showed up. They are not themselves around him.

They get along and play with him, but clearly their affection toward me is muted in his presence. He may grow out of this aggressive mentality, but by that point it will be so well ingrained in Herbie to not be affectionate that he may not change.

Three cats is exponentially more to deal with than two. More food (and expensive kitten food), more litter, more cleaning, more treats, more of everything. It's harder to find places to rent that will allow three cats. They are always under my feet. I have every reason in the world to find a home for Benny, but as anyone with a pet knows, you don't do it for logic.

I love crazy Benny and I'm super attached to him, but if he is affecting the moods of TWO other cats, both of which were here and happy before him, what can I do? I hate to even consider getting rid of him, but I think I have to - consider it, that is.

Furry family member, Part I

2011-08-24T11:37:00.002-05:00

I've known people my whole life who had pets and these people were distraught about the loss of a pet. They were AS distraught as if it would have been a human relative. I never understood this because, growing up, we had no pets (unless you count the non-cuddly fish). My brother and I were allergic to everything as kids, all of which I outgrew, but the pet thing just never happened. We always wanted a dog as most boys do.

As I entered adulthood, it just never occurred to me. My ex-wife had 3 cats when we got together and when she moved in she wanted to bring them. There was no way in hell that was happening. Can you imagine going from no pets for 30 years and then to 3 cats? So she found homes for all but one. I was stuck and she brought him. He wasn't that bad really. When we moved to Mississippi from South Carolina we decided it was time for him to have a playmate and we got Shadow. We named her Shadow because she follows me everywhere I go. She was just a tiny 5 week old kitten when she arrived and she was adorable and clumsy. A real source of entertainment. I then began to understand how people fall in love and get attached.

When she left she took her cat, but Shadow was to remain with me. There was no way she was taking Shadow. Unfortunately, just like a person, Shadow reacted poorly to this change. Her brother and mom left at the same time and never came back. She'd wake up in the middle of the night with that crying meow they do. I'd leave for work and hear her crying through the door and find her sleeping by it waiting for me to come home. When she wasn't on my lap, she'd be sleeping on clothes. I had to leave a shirt on the floor for her to curl up with. When I had my (albeit very few) downturns in mood about the divorce, she got very maternal and would sit with me and look up or lick my hands to be reassuring.

They may be animals and incapable of expression or vocalization, but make no mistake, they know when people are happy, upset, etc and they react accordingly. Dogs, seem to do this less so, but my experience is quite limited. Cats really have a range of emotion.

So I go to get Shadow a sibling, Herbie. He's a tiny kitten with similar color patterns to Shadow. He's a lover and a cuddler and after a few days, they get along great. This is when the "crazy cat lady" jokes begin along with me developing a propensity to want to choke the people that repeat these jokes over and over.

A few months go by and I'm at PetSmart getting items for the cats and I see the cages with kittens. They are adorable and me and my buddy, Tommy, turn into blithering idiots. Some very tough looking guy passes us and we straighten right up until he stops to see what we're looking at and does the same thing. One of the kittens was Benny, but he had a brother and I wasn't about to get 2. Unfortunately for me, someone adopted his brother and I couldn't resist. The tiniest kitten I've had came home with me on the spot.

So now the jokes are in high gear. For some reason, having cats make me a crazy cat lady. For some reason, it's socially unacceptable for a man to have cats. Some people are light hearted about it and it's simply irritating due to repetition. Some people keep turning and twisting the knife because the are socially awkward and don't know when enough is enough. Some people have actually spread legitimate, serious rumors that my adoption of cats was because I'm actually gay, which is asinine - a) I'm not gay and b) the first gay person I know that comes to mind has a dog so explain the connection. Can you believe that one person actually gave me a stupid little sign to hang in my home that says "You say crazy cat lady like it's a bad thing." Did you really think I'd hang that up? And it was given to me in front of the rumor mongers.

I do not understand this. The notion of a crazy cat lady stems from the woman who dies old and alone surrounded by as many cats as years she's been alive. I can't see how I fit that bill. I'm not old, I'm not a woman, I don't have a house full of kittens. As far as being alone, that sterotype is the spinster who has always been alone whereas I was married and now divorced - like 50+% of people in this country. So, I'm failing to draw any parallels.

I like dogs. Having a dog would be awesome. I live in an apartment with no space for a dog to run. I work 10 hours a day, plus school, plus a brand new company I started, plus a social life. I do not have time for a dog. Cats are self sufficient. Full bowls of water and food and a litter box that needs to be scooped every other day and they do their own thing. It's easy. I can go away for probably up to 4-5 days without having anyone look in on them. My friends with dogs need to stop back home several times per day to let them out. My life does not support that.

There are tons of cats and dogs without homes. There are 3 less out there now. If that turns me into a 65 year old woman who dies alone, then so be it. Do you have pets? If so, then you understand the attachment. If you don't, then don't judge me. They are like children. Everyone with a pet knows this attachment.

So, I'm done with the crazy cat lady jokes. Enough is enough. It's rude and untrue and I've heard it 1000 times. Even a joke that started funny, wouldn't be funny after all that time. One that started out stupid, REALLY irritates the hell out of me. I've let it roll off my back for a year, but not anymore. So, can we move on to other things or are your lives SO hollow that you have no choice but to judge me for mine?

To be continued...

Discriminatory or business?

2011-08-17T21:42:00.001-05:00

Today Bloomberg had a case dropped against it that it discriminates against pregnant women as a practice. That's not to say that they haven't discriminated individually; just not as a practice.

Several women banded together to file a suit against the company founded by New York City mayor, Michael Bloomberg. However, a judge threw it out today stating that j'accuse is not enough in the court system. The burden of proof wasn't there.

So these women will be filing individual lawsuits against the company to have their cases heard, a plight traditionally harder to see through to completion. This is generally the case because personal circumstances make it harder to put the onus on the company.

So I ask you, if a woman is pregnant, for example, and is eliminated from meetings, is it discriminatory? The only answer is - maybe. The question - why? - must be asked. People seem to have a sense of entitlement and believe that the company's responsibility is to the employee. Realistically, the company's responsibility is to ALL employees AND to business.

So why were these women excluded from portions of business? The parts that we don't know are whether the pregnancies interrupted business for reasons such as women being ill. Some meetings require long presentations. There are any number of reasons that may, or may not, apply.

Does a company have to provide explanation? These women were hired because of their skills and abilities to help the company make money. It wasn't charity. It's about business. You know what's coming - the business of business is business. And if ANYTHING is interrupting business then a change needs to be made.

People say that alcoholism is a disease and cannot be helped, yet they wouldn't keep an alcoholic on staff. I'm not trying to liken pregnancy to alcoholism. All I'm saying is that it's a situation in someone's life and if it interrupts business then it does. It sucks for that person, but it sucks for the business as well. It. It can't be helped, but should a business suffer over some perceived allegiance to an employee? Should a business cost itself money and degrade business and consequently possible jobs to other employees over the same allegiance?

Every employee knows the score when they arrive. They are there to help the company make money so they can make money themselves. None of it is about friendship. There is no relationship with the company. So if you're not pulling your weight, for ANY reason, then it's time for a change. As a person, I hate to see it happen. As a business owner, my business would come first.

I don't know the personal stories of these women, but Bloomberg (the person and the company) didn't get to where they are today by being bad at business. Making a public spectacle of it all is ridiculous. Making a choice to get pregnant is a choice and it comes with a lifestyle change. A person has to accept responsibility for the choices they make. Sometimes business and family are exclusive of one another. That's just the way it goes.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Deregulation and greed

2011-08-13T16:11:00.000-05:00

With the tumultuous market we've seen over the last couple of weeks, the conversations have turned to the root of all of this. Was it 2008? What caused that? It's no secret that I'm a super conservative, capitalist, anti-liberal, pro-big business, greedy, dollar chaser. However, I can't begin to agree with the deregulation that began 30 years ago. To say "leave the market alone. It will take care of itself." is totally insane. Why would anyone stop doing what they are doing if it is making them money? Because it's the right thing? Since when do for profit businesses and people care about the right thing. Their right thing is their pocket. Truth be told, if I was in any of their shoes, I'd have probably done the same thing though. The temptation to make hundreds of millions of dollars would be greater than considering the consequences for strangers.

In any event, people are wondering how this all happened and I believe it began when banks began trading for themselves. Once they had the ability to make money on investing their money rather than making money on the interest and investments of their clients, we entered a whole new world. Take the ability to do that and mix it in with the lack of oversight from regulatory agencies and sprinkle in the lack of knowledge on the part of the average American and you've got a real recipe for disaster.

The subprime mortgage insanity is based on the banks giving away home loans to people who don't nearly qualify for starters. It's all predicated on the fact that housing prices always go up. It doesn't matter if they can afford the house. They're gonna keep it a couple of years then sell it and make money for a downpayment that makes the next, more expensive house actually cheaper because the loan is less. All they have to do is not default for a couple of years. So home loans went berserk. After a couple of years, there was some equity in the house and banks started leveraging that dollar to the max. Let's throw a line of credit on that baby so you can have a bunch of cash - send the kids to college and buy a boat. Now the homeowner's dollar is paying for three things. That's leveraged debt in simple terms. Debt that can't be paid off dollar for dollar because 1 dollar is needed in 3 places. Borrowing against your borrow based in equity which is all believed and not measured.

So this happens over and over and over and over. House prices go up and up to insane levels and more houses are built. We've got more houses for sale than people that need them with prices inflated because of this demand we created. The demand isn't for the house; it's built on the idea that you should sell and move because your house value is higher than when you started. Make money and go bigger. This was the American dream sold to the average American that never thought they'd be able to own a home and it was done by the bankers so every average Joe bought into it. The bubble grew. People couldn't afford the mortgages so they sold and moved and just inflated the bubble. House prices weren't related to anything anymore and became over-valued assets.

People defaulted on their loans and lost their houses, but the banks didn't care because they didn't lose money. They had been selling the mortgages, in part, to outside investors (local and abroad). So the bank held the mortgage to pay back the investors and the bank assumed no risk. The investors didn't care because the mortgage was also insured by AIG, for example so the investors would be covered on the back end as well. AIG was like the FDIC for people buying slices of mortgages. With every party covered, except the homeowner, there was no reason to quit. Everyone was making money.

AIG doesn't back just mortgages though. Things like medical insurance are covered by them as well. When houses are realized to not be even close to what they're valued at people are paying on nothing, which is like me financing a Kia for $80,000 and finding out it's worth only $20,000. I still owe the $80k but I'm throwing money away. That's $60,000 of waste. So these homes aren't worth shit, nobody wants to invest in something that over inflated, homeowners can't afford it in the first place (because of the leverage) and it's a losing proposition that nobody wants to touch. Now we have tons and tons of toxic debt. Things we owe on, but nobody wants to cover that spread. Not to mention, AIG runs out of cash because they owe more in covering the claims than they have so they're in the hole. And so much rides on them.

Meanwhile, Russia is trying to get China to conspire and sell every single share of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac which would devalue them to almost nothing which deflates our entire government and every bank is about 5 days from having all the customers make a run on it. Everyone feels their money is safer under the mattress. That means they can't get anyone to do new business and they're not worth anything and can't generate revenue. They collapse and everything comes crashing down with them.

All of our European investors lost they money they've invested, homeowner have no banks to get loans, and the market and commerce in the US stops on a dime. Trucks stop moving, gas stops pumping, store are empty and ATMs stop spitting out bills. It's the 1500s again. Broke and bedlam in less than a week.

Two things happened that prevented that. First, the Chinese are business people and they declined the Russians spiteful invitation. They need us as much as we need them. We pump a ton of money into China, part of why our debt is the way it is. Had they called in those debts and we went down, they lose an influx of money. Second, the $700B bailout program. It got loaned to all the banks, whether they needed it or not (the not being people like Wells Fargo). Everyone took it to help avoid isolating the weaker banks and were supposed to lend it out and stimulate things. Some did, some didn't. Some paid it back nearly immediately.

The folks that did go down like Dick Fuld of Lehman Brothers lost millions but walked away with many millions more so he's not hurting. Neither are any of the other individuals, as individuals. However, their companies, like Lehman Brothers, which were institutions and not just companies are now gone. I can't believe how many names are missing from the roster. Bear Stearns, for example.

The ones that remain have been deemed "too big to fail." All that means is that if they fail, too much goes down in the process and we can't let that happen. So, the government has no choice but to do this again, if need be.

The nice thing is that there's only one way to go from the bottom. You buy on bears and sell on bulls. Buy low, sell high. Now is the time to invest because everything is cheap while they struggle. The money spent invigorates the companies and the markets. Things are based on real numbers instead of emotion and speculation. It's a little Ponzi-esque, I guess, in the sense that we are building on nothing to get more people to do the same until these companies produce real results.

I guess you just can't cut your way out of a recession. You have to spend your way out of one. We got out bailout and saved the country, now we have to bring it back up. Europe, on the other hand, has a bigger problem, some of which is due to the money they had invested in our debt and some is brought on by the formation of the EU, while keeping countries politically separate.

So that's how it happened. All greed and nobody was watching. It's obviously much more complex. I don't understand derivatives really well and I'm not sure that anyone does. Credit swaps and leveraged debts nearly brought about the end of the world though. Now to see what happens next.

Almost off the wagon

2011-08-03T12:51:00.001-05:00

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This is going to sound ridiculous to many of you as my addiction is not something that is real. I feel like Dave Chappelle in Half-Baked when he goes to A.A. or whatever it was and admits that he's addicted to weed and everyone screams and yells and then Bob Saget stands up and says, "Marijuana is not a drug. I used to suck dick for coke. Now that's an addiction. You ever suck dick for Marijuana?" But addiction is addiction and we all have our things. Some of us more so than others. I have a very addictive personality.

It is hard to understand the mania of obsession that if 1 is good then FIFTY IS BETTER! It's why I'm very careful about how much money is nearby when I'm in a casino. It's why I stay out of certain stores. It's why I have to eat a certain amount of time before I go grocery shopping and keep a regimented list with me. I indulge. If I like something a lot, I over indulge.

Up until January of 2008, I was drinking about 80oz per day of Mt. Dew. So it's not a drug. Doesn't mean the draw was any less. Soda is terrible for you and Mt. Dew is worst of the sodas. I'd literally have 20oz put down before I arrived at work at 7:30am. Then another 20oz bottle between then and lunch. One after lunch and about 20oz worth from the 2 liter once I got home. Sometimes more. That was about the baseline. It got so bad that a DOCTOR actually RECOMMENDED I start drinking coffee. He said the amount of coffee I'd need to drink to get that level of caffeine would be far less than Mt. Dew, as well as the sugar, and it may even be healthier for me. Imagine that. You're so bad off that a doctor thinks coffee is healthier than what you're doing.

So I quit. That day. Right then and there. I also figured he was crazy and didn't need the coffee either. I went into legitimate detox. Of course not to the same level as I would have had I just quit heroin. This is all to scale. But I had a headache and a little bit of the shakes. I felt terrible. So I started drinking the coffee. I've loved coffee but it's not like the way Dew was for me.

I was getting my caffeine and assumed I was good. Do you know that I've thought about drinking Mt. Dew every day since I quit. I know at this point you think I'm a total lunatic and this entire post is ridiculous. I swear it's 100% true. My ex-wife would even tell me to have a glass. What's the big deal? At that point I had been quit for over a year. Just like a recovering addict, I'd say that then I could only say that it's been x amount of time since the last time I relapsed. I don't want to break my streak. She'd look at me like I was insane, I'd shake my head and say, "I know, I know" and that would be that.

It comes and goes in waves and I feel like the only way is to disregard the notion of quitting and go back full bore. That's not smart because my blood pressure will go up and my teeth will fall out of my head. The reason for this rant about all of it is because Ty is a Dew-aholic as well, although doesn't hold a candle to my worst days. Last weekend he left a can in my fridge. I know it's ice cold and delicious. I know he wouldn't care that I drank it (besides possession is 9/10 of the law).

I could drink it just to give myself that treat but then I'm off the wagon on my timer and I have no reason to NOT continue to drink it nonstop. So it's staring at me every time I enter the fridge, taunting me, urging me into submission. I'm getting dangerously close. I want it gone, but I don't. If he takes it then I lose because every day that goes by that I do NOT drink it is like a victory over it.

I find it amazing that something like that can wield such power. Thank God I never really did drugs because I can't imagine that would have worked out well for me. I'm going to go outside with my lemonade and smoke a cigarette to distract and calm myself before I bite through the side of that can. I gotta go.

It is already free

2011-08-03T12:06:00.000-05:00

Big debate is heating up about whether birth control should be free. I'd be lying if I said that even part of me did not want it to be free. That just sounds convenient. The last thing I need (or the world needs, for that matter) is a clone of me or at least part of my DNA running around. However, that's probably exactly the reason it should NOT be free... not to mention the economic results.

First of all, birth control is free already, just not the pill form. It's called abstinence and it's available to everyone. However, to anyone that is realistic, or simply not a virgin, we know that abstinence is not going to happen for everyone. For those that practice it, birth control doesn't matter. For those that don't practice abstinence, we need another solution. There is the availability of condoms but everyone, especially guys, come up with every reason in the book why they shouldn't be used. From an enjoyment perspective, condoms really miss the mark, but they serve their purpose.

The birth control pill is the perfect solution (out of the offered ones that are realistic). More often than not, it regulates the female cycle which is convenient for her and for the guy remembering when it's a good time to steer clear of her and especially to be sure she has no red wine. A woman on her period and a couple of glasses of red wine is like a witch's brew and guys, trust me, every syllable out of your mouth is incorrect. Anyway, it's 99.99% effective or some such number. It doesn't get in the way of moment like saran wrapping your pecker. So give it away and let's make love, not vulcanized rubber.

The downside is that the last time we started a catch phrase with make love, it was the 60s before some carrier monkey delivered HIV/AIDS and the birth control pill doesn't protect against either one of those or any other grossness that may seek refuge in your special parts. So pregnancy isn't the only reason for putting up barriers between the outside parts and the inside parts when they meet.

Financially, giving away birth control is a disaster. We don't have money to pay the FAA which ensures we don't die in a plane crash. We don't have the money to pay our military enough and they actually die for us. We, as a government, have subsidized and subsequently partially own the railroads, the planes, and the automobiles as industries. And now the government wants to get in bed with, so to speak, birth control. You cannot get from point A to point B without the government's help. Apparently point B counts if it is work, school, a picnic or an orgasm. The point is that we just nearly default on all of our loans to other countries and became the United States of China and now we want to pay for something else for people when they COULD just stop having sex in the first place.

I think we should spend the money holding people accountable. You wanna open your legs, be prepared for what comes next. Guys that goes for you too. You convince her go down that road with you and procreate, man up and take care of it. If you're old enough to handle your business, you're old enough to handle your business. Use the money to counsel young (or even old enough but surprised) parents-to-be. Pay for a starter kit - like WIC on steroids - to get things going.

People are not gonna stop making the sex, girls will continue to end up pregnant, guys will continue to be deadbeats, kids will continue to make bad decisions, everyone will continue to believe "we'll be fine,"and the cycle will continue. Even if we made it free would everyone get it? Would everyone qualify? Would the recipients take it consistently? I think we're costing ourselves tons and tons of money for an output based on the behavior of people. The behavior of people who have not necessarily made the right choices often enough (as a whole, not individuals) that we had to consider this a solution.

Truly, I say spend the money on the reproduction police. You need a license to drive a car, but not raise a baby. Where's THAT legislation? Can't drink before you're 21? Can't plow around until you're....19 we'll say. It's gotta be earlier. The last thing we want is people drinking and humping for the first time at the same time.

So think about the measurable ramifications of this before your bleeding heart decides to just help the world.

We did what we had to do

2011-07-31T22:12:00.001-05:00

The United States is losing its mind tonight talking about two things. One is the raising of the debt ceiling and the other is Shark Week. I'm actually here to talk about the debt ceiling. It's been looming for a while and plan after plan has been shot down. Just tonight, a plan was approved that will supposedly reduce the deficit and avoid a default.

Naturally, all the uninformed took to the digital airways to complain about the bullshit nature of the government and how they can just raise the debt ceiling whenever they want. First of all, of course we can. It's an arbitrary number. Second, we are so far in debt that it doesn't really matter. Lastly, what the fuck else were we supposed to do about it? Default on our loans? Nothing against Chinese people, but I'm proud to be an American and a default means we're suddenly owned by China. I'm exaggerating, of course, but the point stands. We simply CANNOT default on our loans for a number of reasons, not the least of which is the credibility of our country (which has been better over the course of its history). Could we stop giving aid to countries? Nope. Believe it or not, many countries, especially some in Europe are in worse shape. Has anyone seen the word Greece in the headlines of the last year?

By the way, people raise their debt ceiling all the time. So for those of you who wish you could be just like the shady government, you can. I've known more than one person with credit card that has a $10,000 limit and about $7,000 full. They get a card (while their credit is still intact enough) with a limit of $15,000 and transfer the balance. Ceiling goes up, interest goes down for a while and then more gets charged. Some people make switching balances a full time job.

As for most of America that lives hand to mouth, well I'm sorry for you, but it's your own damn fault (most of the time). Anyone out there in debt that owns a big screen LCD/plasma/LED TV? Anyone use their smartphone to check their credit card debt (hundreds of dollars for the phone with an expensive plan). Has everyone that complains about not making enough money really, TRULY examined all routes to make more? You know there are scholarships for everything imaginable. The fourth generations sons of plumbers born on the southeast corner under a full moon can get 500 bucks a year. More education? More money. Not everyone is destined for that, I get it, but if money is the only thing stopping you, then you're missing out.

Let's look at the people who are bitching about the debt in the first place. Remember the 90's when Bill "what's the definition of is" Clinton was in the White House? He balanced the budget. He didn't reduce our debt to zero, but he balanced the budget. Just as much money coming in as was going out. It happened rather quickly, if you recall. Was it all good? If you say yes then you REALLY didn't pay any attention. We had lots of other things go haywire. People invest in our debt. Distressed assets are appealing to investors. Why? Only one way to go from the bottom. Hell, in 2008 we were laying off toxic debt to anyone that would take it. Of course it was for a small amount on the dollar and we sweetened the pot with other things as well. The point is that when the budget was balanced, things went screwy. The worth of bonds tanked because nobody was investing the bond market. Why? The government didn't need the money, the value fell, people stopped putting money and it fell further.

So a healthy level of debt is just that - healthy. Leveraging the dollar to the hilt is something altogether different. In any event, we can't just ignore the debt ceiling and default on our loans to other countries. At least not in the time of crisis.

Long term, we need a better solution though. Part of the problem is the aid we give to other countries and then borrow against it. So let's say we give country X $1million dollars. Now we need that same $1M so we borrow it from them. We are borrowing our own money from another country and guess what else? We are paying interest to another country on our own money that was aid for them. The solution? People say stop the aid. We don't have many friends and it's not good to isolate the few we've got. Plus that's just not our role in the world. We help everyone at our own expense. It is what it is.

So we need a better long term solution. For now, flipping off the world and letting our loans default was stupid. So we make a last minute decision. We made our bed and now we have to lie in it. No sense letting pride and ignorance make the whole damn thing worse.

Don't feed the trolls

2011-07-30T13:00:00.000-05:00

A while back (around the 4th of July) I wrote a post about Paige Duke and the nonsense that went on when the people from Sprint or NASCAR or whoever found out that once in her life she was naked and in front of a camera lens at the same time. As it turns out, it was years ago when she was 18 and pressured into it by some jerk. Just when she thought that was all behind her, the pics surface. She loses her job at the Miss Sprint Cup Girl.

Now, since she is a known celebrity, she has a myriad of commenters online telling her everything from keep her chin up (me) to "Maybe you should have worn clothes in pics. Trashy." I'm sure the person that made that comment has NEVER EVER made a mistake. He's one of those judgmental assholes I talk about on here so frequently. So she made a mistake. She was young. Her judgment was flawed at the ripe, old age of 18. What a surprise.

So often I see huge fights break out on Facebook and other social networks. People say something, that is misconstrued (because that's very easy to do online) and someone makes a snarky comeback and before you know it, it's an all out war. The digital age has sent the "telephone tough guys"to the computer and they are on the attack. They scream at me every time I like an Apple product and/or dislike a Microsoft product. They stay quiet when I actually like a Microsoft product. They attack everyone over everyone. Twitter is even worse than Facebook. The relative anonymity of Twitter makes it easier to berate a target from behing the safety of a screen name.

It is easy to get sucked in. EVERYONE likes to have the last word. Nobody likes to sit and be attacked without defending themselves. You can fire off an angry email or social network based response without the fear of every having to face the person. There's also no risk of getting punched in the nose. Not to mention it feeds the impulsivity. There's an old saying, "Arguing on the Internet is like being in the Special Olympics. Even if you win, you're still retarded." I know that's not politically correct on pretty much any level, but you get the point.

It's still just too damn easy to go back and forth. So, if you're a content creator/deliverer then you should have a mantra for if (and WHEN) you get attacked.

Don't feed the trolls. Don't feed the trolls. Don't feed the trolls.

Repeat that over and over.

It's like being in the schoolyard in the 2nd grade and someone steals your hat and they all begin to play that very mature game of "keep away." The more you chase it, the more they throw it. They idea is to get you to chase it. And it goes on forever. They have more fun taunting you and you get progressively more frustrated.

Imagine for a second that you had this response: "That's cool. Give it back when you're done" and then you go sit down and enjoy your PB&J. I know that's a little lofty a goal for an 8-year old, but imagine it. All of a sudden keeping something from someone that doesn't want it in the first place really loses its appeal.

So when they attack your character or content or just generally be nasty online just ignore it. In the case of the adult and the Internet, don't even say "doesn't bother me" because then it will become their mission to find what does. So just ignore it. Keep posting your content. Keep being you. Keep doing what you do. Keep ignoring them. Sooner or later, they'll move to someone that they can actually get a rise out of... because that's all they're really looking for in the first place.

Don't feed the trolls

They told me to feel bad, but I said no, no, no

2011-07-25T19:40:00.002-05:00

I tried so hard to avoid this, but the news sucked me in. Unfortunately, I couldn't live by my own edict of "if you don't like it, don't watch it." I was stuck watching HLN on a common TV while I ate my dinner. They gave a short time slot to a story about a woman that escaped forced sex and marriage in a polygamist compound and chose to devote almost an hour to Amy Winehouse.

Let me preface by saying that I do not feel bad about her death. It goes without saying that I will tell you why. I was not particularly moved one way or the other until tonight.

Let's keep in perspective that unlike some celebrities, she was not a child star. She was an adult by all maturity and legal standards when she hit the limelight. It's safe to say that we all know, by that age, that drugs are bad (mmmkay?). She didn't care. She was so cavalier about her drug use that she wrote a song in defiance of rehab. Incidentally, that's the song the truly propelled her into proper stardom. So maybe addiction is a disease from which there is little escape. However, the first time you make the choice to take a drug, you are far from addicted and should know better.

I understand there is stress in stardom, but if you play the numbers and really look at the amount of celebrities running around (be it athletes, movie, music), the percentage that are on drugs is really very small. She said she was in a dark place. Really? With millions of dollars, extreme talent and adoring fans, not to mention a doting family? What does that mean for the poor schmucks that are broke and alone without a skill or education?

She has been inducted into the "27 club" with Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, and Kurt Cobain (all died at that age). The dope on HLN attributed the reasons for her behavior to the same reasons of as the others. It was because of, what she was calling, too cool to be sober. They were vested in being cool. For Jimi, Jim, and Janis it wasn't their choice to be cool. For J-cubed it was a way of life when they were at their peaks. Everyone did drugs in the 60s. In the 40s they may not have been addicts. In the 90s they may not have been addicts. They weren't addicts necessarily because of a disease. It was everywhere; it was common; and the information, education, and negative publicity had not taken root in the mainstream. As for Kurt Cobain, being cool was never on his agenda. He was tormented by his popularity. He didn't want to be a superstar. Hell, he basically started the grunge movement which was all about being alternative to the mainstream. When he was overcome with the feeling of being trapped, he put a shotgun in his mouth. So doing it to be cool makes no sense. And the moron, Mackenzie Phillips, who was playing "I'm an addict so I can speak for all addicts" on the show, didn't do much to make more sense out of it.

The bottom line was that Amy Winehouse made a series of bad choices and, at no point, made a real attempt to overcome them. 4 rehabs and 5 arrests. Last year she was seen crawling on her knees at a resort, taking drinks off the tables of patrons while they were not looking. She was reportedly lucid and sensible during the day. I understand the power of addiction - as a 20 year smoker. But why put yourself in a situation if you want to quit. I don't want to quit, but then again, one too many cigarettes in a day won't kill me on the spot either.

I guess it's just not tragic. My high school friend who got Lukemia and died at age 19 is tragic. Repeatedly making the same bad choice, that you know is bad and has shown its bad side and feeling no remorse for it is not tragic. It's stupid. If I die of lung cancer next year it won't be tragic. It'll be my own stupidity. I recognize that. She should have recognized that in herself and all of you should recognize that in her as well.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Save the plants, eat the animals

2011-07-24T11:49:00.001-05:00

I spent some time on the horn with Dr. Jim yesterday. It's good times because we wax intellectual about all the ridiculous things we can come up with. The evolution of our conversations make little to no sense to us, let alone an outsider. At some point yesterday we found ourselves talking about eating meat vs. vegetarianism and the merits of being kinder to our furry friends. I'm a carnivore, let's set that record straight. My vegetable intake is limited at best.

Recently I read a comment somewhere on the web that said, "Hey vegetarians, plants are living creatures too. They're just easier to catch." This spurred a deep ponderation between the Doc and I about whether we may all have it backwards. Maybe we should NOT eat vegetables at all. Maybe they are the highly evolved chosen creatures of whatever higher power/deity you give credit to.

In order for this theory to hold water, we have to consider whether plants have a soul. Many people would say no, but I ask you, "why?" Or more importantly, "why not?" People will tell you it's because they have no brain or cognizance. Ok, that's science. But since when did science and faith ever match up? More often than not, they work in opposition. You look to the sky and tell your version of the bearded man in the clouds that plants cannot have a soul because they have no brain. The weatherman will tell you there's a good chance of lightning strikes in your area. So let's say it's just as likely that they have a soul as we do.

Back to science. A tree can outlive a human by hundreds of years. That doesn't make us look chosen. People may tell you about the complexity of the human being and our bodies. Let's consider the concept of efficiency. A plant can sustain life with the few parts it has, yet it takes so much more to keep us going. Our bodies are far from efficient, given the comparison. Think about these simple organisms that keep going and reproduce without complication. That's pretty impressive.

Finally, think about our relationship with plants. They give off oxygen. Something we need to survive. We don't give off anything they need to survive. We rely on them to live, they could care less about us. And in terms of the oxygen they give off, it's a waste product for them. We simply cannot continue to exist without the shit of the plant world.

So vegetarians, your eating habits are waging war on our single most important source of life and vitality. Other than food, what has a cow done for you lately? Who wants to go out for a burger?

True motivation

2011-07-19T14:48:00.001-05:00

I frequently speak of moving home and the tone generally revolves around business, finance and an overall connection with the people and area. All of those things play a large part. It IS where I'll be most successful and looked at as less crazy by people around me. However, there is so much more to it.

I spent almost 12 days back home, as 99% of my readers know. I love my family so thoroughly that being apart from them is no longer a possibility. For so many years, my mother and I would argue about everything there was to argue about, and some things that didn't seem possible to argue about. We have reached a closeness that was unprecedented with us and now I'm not there. I've always had fun with my dad and he's been so great to be around as a friend, dad and mentor. My brother and I hit an age range where the 4 years between us dissipated, yet we have only been able to enjoy it in fleeting, beer soaked moments. Of the 4 grandparents I was born with only 1 remains. Thankfully she still has her wits about her but will that last another 12 years as she pushes 100? Will SHE even last that long?

All of those things are also important, but we are adults. We get it. We don't like it, but we understand budgets and responsibilities and careers and professional necessities. As much as we suffer through the distance, there is that underlying thought of "it is what it is and it's necessary." That doesn't make it fair, but the rationalization becomes legitimating justification. Friends play the same game.

There is a class of people that doesn't apply to, however. I have a friend - Brian - who knew me before I knew me (he is 18 months older). Our fathers went to high school together. We may as well be brothers instead of friends. We were together constantly as kids, and less so as we aged, but have held friendship for 30+ years. Brian is married (I missed his wedding). He now has a daughter, Sophia, who is a beautiful, wide eyed 9 month old angel. I met her for the first time this last week. I fell in love with this little baby girl. I told Brian that my distaste for diaper changing is the only reason he gets to keep her. Sophia, like many babies, doesn't go to many people and takes time to warm up. After a short stint of coming from her sleepy car ride induce haze I reached out and she was passed to me. She looked unsure, then cracked a tiny, gummy smile and laid her head on my shoulder. She loved me immediately.

I also have a friend, Dr. Jim, who I've known for about 20 years. He has a son, Sean, who is 27 months. Sean is a brilliant, mischievous boy who can nearly read and knows to stop at the corner and grab daddy's hand before crossing. He also knows Uncle Jason and recognizes my disappearing act and so far he is not a fan.

The kicker is that Brian and his wife showed up with baby Sophia on the same day as Jim, his wife and little Sean. I was surrounded by wet, sloppy kisses of the adorable children of two of my closest friends in life. While this was so much fun and filled my heart with joy, there was something nagging at me so deeply the entire time that even the clean baby smell wafting toward me couldn't shake it.

Sophia is 9 months and Sean is 27 months. The last time I saw that little monkey he was 9 months old. I looked at one baby who stared back at me mostly vacantly and smiled most often from gas and then to the other who was more a little person than a baby and could peer into my soul as I held back tears and say, "what's wrong Uncle Jason?" the cute squeaky voice was enough to stem the tide of the tears so I could smile and say "Nothing Sean" and mostly mean it while while I hugged him. Incidentally, I could get choked up all over again recalling the story to memory in order to write it here.

The disparity in how they interact is obviously a function of time, but... it so clearly painted a picture for me. The felt difference in interacting with them is the exact amount of growth I had missed in Sean's life and the exact amount I've yet to miss in Sophia's - almost to the day - until I move home.

Sean is old enough to know I've left and that hurts. Sophia is too young to have a clue, making me a stranger on my return, and that hurts more. What hurts the most is that there is not a word in the English language that will explain it to either of them.

So for 20 months more I will endure and then I'll spend every available day doting on the beautiful children of my beautiful friends - all of whom have suffered at the hands of my decision to leave an entire decade prior, yet blindly supported me in my journey.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Interplanetary travel

2011-07-17T21:13:00.002-05:00

Men may be from Mars and women from Venus according to some author, but if you want to really feel like you're on a different planet; you have to look beyond gender differences. This has nothing to do with the final space shuttle launch or NASA's shutdown or whatever is happening there. This is about the last 12 days that I've spent back up in NY and NJ.

Two days ago I had my 8th Air Force anniversary, so visiting home is old hat. However, in recent years I have been making my way home only around the holidays and my visits have been short and chock full of yuletide visits, leaving very little time to soak in the area, mentality and subsequently reflect. Additionally, I've been absorbing all I can from the Air Force, as a person. I have used my career in camouflage for personal and professional growth, both of which have greatly increased since I first laced up combat boots. I've now hit the second skinny part of the bell curve and the law of diminishing return has kicked in. With each passing day, I take away less from the Air Force than I did previously and most certainly less than I put in. As many of you know, I've decided to separate and move home. I've served my country and now I'm ready to serve my bank account and I want to do it from within a close proximity to my family. Father time is not kind so waiting another 12 years (or more) is not something I'm willing to do. I'm a mere 20 months away from being promoted to the rank of Mr. and I'm mentality ready for it.

I know this and you see it in me. I've curbed my disdain for waiting and my impatience by relying on the intrinsic value of the Air Force and all the positive experience I've had, but the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel is nearly blinding and I'm ready. I feel it in my life every day, as alone as I am in Mississippi. As I've said before, I have friends, some more wonderful than others, but they are a part of my life rather than actually being my life. And they have lives of their own. I need a life that is one I can truly embrace.

This week it became even more evident than ever. I felt more like my old self than I have since I can remember. Every day brought about more melding of my person with my area. I was able to recharge my batteries. If you're in Mississippi and you're reading this, consider what is expensive for home ownership. Now realize that I'm looking at condos that have 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom and are about 1,100 square feet in the neighborhood of $430,000. I don't bat an eye at that. It's a lot of money, but I'm far from surprised. How many people have ever been on the 44th floor of a building? Have you ever been in a city where the women outnumber the men and more are beautiful than not? Would you consider giving a gift of $100 to someone because you haven't seen them in a while or is that an astronomical amount to throw around? The culture in New York City and its outlying areas is different from any place else in the world. I always thought my life was normal and the rest of the country was weird. As it turns out, I'm in the minority (despite the 8 million people floating around Manhattan at any given moment). Most of the country cannot fathom what we do.

It took me years to realize that people don't pay what we pay for homes. People don't go to Broadway shows on a random Monday night. $173 for lunch in Trump Tower is not commonplace. The thing is though... it is for me. That's MY life. I own suits that cost what I take home in a paycheck now. Nearly everyone is college educated and physically fit. There are so many people that the essence of Darwin surrounds us. There is no room for the weak and lazy. The stupid get eaten alive. And if you like to rock the boat and cause disturbances, you'll end up on the street. It's a well oiled machine of hustle and bustle and it makes me feel alive.

To the contrary, I look at most of my confederates in Mississippi (pun intended) and I see backbiting, undermining, high school spats, improper English, general disregard for life and success. And then I vomit up a little bit of happiness and hope for our country. I got an email on Facebook from someone who deleted and blocked me for no reason then unblocked me and requested I help her ruin someone else's career. The intended target is someone who behaved in a way everyone expected yet the email initiator ignored the warnings. Another isolated themselves from everyone they know and then cries out miserably when the fun of others is witnessed, yet keeps some of the old group within purview. People are constantly attempting to drag others into their pools of despair because misery loves company is not just a cliche to them.

Then I look back here. Everyone owns a home by 30. One friend is enlarging his home for a price tag more than the average Mississippian makes in a year. They travel. They vacation. They read. They're in touch with the world and culture. Four of us discussed at length the reasons for the demise of Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers and the success of Goldman Sachs as well as the roles of Hank Paulson, Dick Fuld and Jamie Dimon.

Do you see where this is going? This is not the arrogant "I'm better than you speech" you're claiming it is in your head right now. This is the exposition and exploitation of inexplicable differences between here and there. And to think that in less than 2 days, I'll take a 3 hour plane ride and arrive in that world. A world of complacency. A world where people would rather drag competition to their low level instead of rising to the high level of the competition. A world where laziness gets you everywhere and hard work is shunned.

The duality of this trip is that is motivates and demotivates me simultaneously. I cannot wait to get back and it makes me happy to know that it will be soon. I'm excited and pumped to jumpstart my life in less than 2 years. At the same time, all of the wind leaves my sails and extreme disappointment sets in when I admit that I have to return to Dante's 7th circle on Tuesday.

There is *some* solace in my return there. There are people who will be genuinely glad to see me; and I them. They take the edge off the lousiness that is Mississippi. They make it all just this side of bearable. The aloe to my geographical sunburn. But that doesn't make that lifestyle fit my persona.

Obviously, this doesn't apply to everyone with a Mississippi address, but this is a general culture that is promoted down there. I will no longer be a party to any of it. My business launches in three weeks (hopefully, vacation has gotten in the way of checking with my two lifesavers who are planning all of this) and I have bigger fish to fry.

Anyway, over the last 12 days I've seen just how far apart my life is compared to where it started. I really truly feel like these two places cannot be collocated on the same spinning orb in the sky sometimes. The best view of Mississippi is in the rear view mirror.

Stewardesses

2011-07-08T20:44:00.001-05:00

Oops. We don't say that anymore, do we? Guess what? I do. The politically correct movement has gone so far that we change terms even when they aren't politically incorrect in the first place.

The mailman is a letter carrier. There aren't waiters or waitresses anymore; they are servers. Like the late, great George Carlin said, we will have a personhood cover in the street and children will be afraid of the boogeyperson. And he was right. It's going to be that my cats will soon be Feline-Americans.

I'm so confused I can't keep up with this anymore. Some of them make sense and some needed to happen. I can see why we went to black from Negro - it's not like they mean the exact same thing. In all seriousness, it wasn't based on definition. It was connotation and the ignorant parties that made it negative.

I happen to be on a plane at the moment so maybe that's why this one is on my mind, but I've always been confused about the move from Stewardess to Flight Attendant. It's not a gender thing because we always had the male variant - Steward - in the rare event you see a male doing the job. Frankly most males doing the job are more feminine than the women doing it in the first place. That aside, the term steward or stewardess means, as I understand it, someone who has people put in their care or charge.

They are singularly responsible for the well being of those in their territory. Isn't there some honor in that? Doesn't having the word "attendant" in your title make you feel closer to handing out cologne and mints in a bathroom than to a caregiver? What drove this change? Anything or was it change for the sake of change? Has anyone given it thought or am I just that bored? Maybe it's the Canadian Club whiskey at high altitudes.

Anyway, I'm done here. I'm calling the stewardess for another mini bottle.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

It's good to be me

2011-07-07T13:36:00.000-05:00

Just thought everyone should know that. You may disagree with me, but in my world, it's good to be me. My life is good. I love my job (90% of the time), I'm surrounded by terrific friends, I have a family that simply can't be beat, and I'm very often right about things. Haha. So I'm mostly kidding about the last part.

It's generally good to be me because I'm so driven. I refuse to take life sitting down and use my vision and drive to make things happen for me. One such thing is the creation of my new company. As many know, I've tried my hand at business after business over the years. First it was the home networking company. Then came the expansion of that into training, web design and consultation, called Tech-City. Branched from there was ProWriting where I'd review and edit documentation such as Non-Disclosure Agreements, Non-Compete Statements, resumes, offer letters and act as a non-legal arbiter. Tech-City also birthed MobileMedia that put technology in cars, long before everything was small and easy to do. Installed things like mini PCs or touchscreens in vehicles. Then I started JayVig Photography where I sold the prints of my photo work. In late 2009 I began to act as a freelance tech news writer for a news agency, started Vig The Geek technology/consumer gadget reviews and opened my YouTube channel. In 2010, JayVigMedia.com launched providing free advice for building your brand in the social space.

Now in the middle of 2011, most of those efforts are combining into a relaunch of JayVigMedia with the official forming of JayVigMedia, LLC. I have business partners and we are all ready to change the world. So many good ideas and amazing content coming soon. We have something to offer all brands from small businesses to large corporations. We've also identified some breakout markets that need social integration and are preparing to help inject it.

The support of people has been amazing and truly fuels my fire. I've had some comments made to me about my plans that are just so unbelievable. I can't begin to be thankful enough. My friends have always been there for me.

There is one reason for my successes (those so far and those yet to happen) and it is my ability to read people. Lately, I've fallen off a little bit but throughout my life my precision is second to none. I can spot a phony a mile away. I know who to invest in and how to short sell the hell out of. I know people.

You know what else I know about people? What they're feeling even when they don't say it. Remember my last post about Casey Anthony? The post was really about the judicial system, but Casey was the example du jour. In my article I defended the judicial system. I spoke of using facts to convict or acquit. Everyone said I was crazy. I knew the jury felt she was guilty, but did the right thing by looking for proof. Guess what happened? The jurors are coming out one-by-one saying that they were sick to their stomachs to let her go. They WANTED to convict her, but just couldn't. Deliberation was emotional. Men and women were crying and looking for a way to convict her, but as we all know... innocent until proven guilty. While they felt she was guilty, they couldn't prove it. So she's free. Just like I knew would happen. And the people who set her free, felt exactly how I knew they felt. I read this entire thing to a tee. Everyone went apeshit and yelled at me. Oops.

See? I know people.

The system works

2011-07-05T18:48:00.001-05:00

So after all this time, the Casey Anthony case is over. She was found not guilty (take this info with you when you go back under your rock). Naturally, almost everyone is up in arms about the whole thing. Twitter is all atwitter, Google Buzz is all abuzz and Facebook is some other adjective about activity about the lack of faith in our judicial system and how it failed this time and even how it is a failed system in the first place. Tongue-in-cheek comments are pairing Casey and OJ together while mourning for Nicole Simpson and Caylee Anthony. It's a travesty that she has literally gotten away with murder - is the general thought that adorns my Facebook wall.

Let me say now that I feel she's more than likely guilty. I would have like to see her actually found guilty and get the maximum punishment. I think what happened to that child is disgusting. I think something went horribly awry during the trial that she gets to walk on the murder charge and gets hit only with a few counts of misinformation or some such nonsense. The guilty party, whoever that may be, should be brought to justice. Those are all just feelings. That being said, my faith in the judicial system overall has not been shaken. Here's why...

When considering murder in the first degree, we have something called reasonable doubt. In this case, Casey was just squeezed through it. To keep innocent people out of jail or prevent juries from convicting based on emotion, reasonable doubt comes into play. Basically, it has to be proven beyond reasonable doubt that it was her. This means that a jury has to look at the situation and believe that there's no way this person is innocent. 100% certainty is required. If they can reasonably attribute the crime to another person then they cannot convict. First degree murder includes intent to kill and premeditation, which brings the stiffer punishments.

I've heard people sing the praises of the work done by the prosecution. I disagree. If it was that outstanding, they would have won. Maybe they left a hole in the case or maybe she's just innocent. So has the system failed? Absolutely not. Maybe the jury selection process needs to be revamped or maybe this particular jury was just terrible. It's hard to imagine 12 people all wrongly coming to the same conclusion, but I suppose it's possible. What is an alternative? The judge cannot impose judgment as he is an impartial arbiter and a servant of the process. He is not there to opine, plus as the one that levies the sentence it would be a conflict of interest for him to also decide guilt. Having a judge, as a singular entity, decide does not provide a system of checks and balances (something instituted throughout our government). Even at the level of the Supreme Court, there is more than a single position (9 to be exact). A jury consists of 12 members, very specifically. An even amount serves the purpose of allowing a tie and not having the fate of the accused held in the balance by a natural lean one way or the other. The point is that an odd amount means a decision will always be reached, right or wrong.

Did the system and framework not work as intended? I don't think so. I think it worked just perfectly. Further, I think the innocent verdict further validates our system. Despite all the evidence that she was guilty, they could not convict. There was no proof. It was not 100%. That means the jury weighed the facts and did not convict on emotion. I can only imagine that all 12 felt in their hearts that she was guilty but stuck to their integrity and went on FACTS only. While the evidence was overwhelmingly strong that she was guilty, it was not 100%.

So maybe the prosecution didn't seal it up. Maybe the defense was convincing to protect their client. Maybe she was just innocent. I can't imagine that she is. Regardless, there was no collapse in the judicial system today. Did OJ kill his wife? Maybe. The system found him innocent. People screamed from the rooftops about money buying freedom. Where is he today? In jail for other crimes. So, when there was evidence of a crime he was convicted. That just goes to show that the system works and comparing Casey Anthony to OJ doesn't hold water.

To further consider doubt, let's look at Larry Flynt, publisher of Hustler magazine. He attacked, nearly constantly, Jerry Falwell. He once said that Falwell molested a sheep and had sex with his mother. Falwell sued Flynt for libel - written defamation. The case was thrown out because of reasonable doubt. Nobody could reasonably believe that Falwell did those things and therefore it was considered satirical and not an actual accusation. What does this tell us in regards to Casey Anthony? It tells us that if you want to accuse someone of something and make it stick you have to make people truly believe it. You cannot leave room for the possibility that they did not do it. Not when lives hang in the balance.

The baby is dead and that is an awful and disgusting situation. Putting Casey to death or in prison forever while being unsure of her guilt is awful as well. I won't compare the levels of bad because they aren't parallel. I just mean that one wrong action doesn't beget another. Even if you live an eye for an eye, you have to make sure you're taking the eye of the perpetrator and not the person you believe did it.

I consider my point made here. I hope they find the killer if it is not Casey. Truly, I do. If it is her, then it's a shame the prosecution could not find the final piece of the puzzle to have her convicted. All I know is that I was not there. I didn't see the evidence. I didn't hear the testimony from the mindset of a juror. Truthfully, the only people that know what happened are the people present for the murder.

Oh, I also know that everyone reading this and even those that don't would be quick to scream if wrongfully accused (even casually). If anyone said "So-and-so told me that you cheated on your test/taxes/spouse" everyone would get pissed off and tell the deliverer of the message to mind their business/don't judge/you weren't there/etc. So, the institution of the courts and judicial system have spoken. She's been deemed innocent. For you to say she got away with murder implies you know something for a fact that the lawyers, judge and jurors should have known. If you do and haven't said anything, it's obstruction of justice and a crime in and of itself. How about that? If you don't then you're just deciding you know better having not been present for the event, the trial, or the deliberation. You can feel she's guilty (I do), but you can't decide she IS guilty. It's not our place.

One last note. 24 hours ago, the Internet was gushing with praise for the United States on our Independence Day. Support for our way of life, freedom, and our troops was a steady stream. Everyone was proud to be an American. Today, people are packing for Canada and have lost faith in the way we do things. Remember when I called you fickle not long ago? That's why.

The past is the past

2011-07-02T16:16:00.001-05:00

This is going to surprise many people because as you all know, I'm FAR from a NASCAR fan. However, this isn't about NASCAR. This about passing judgment on someone and affecting them today for something they did long ago. If you're a NASCAR fan or just a red blooded American male and post-pubescent you know who Paige Duke is. For those of you don't know who she is, let me explain. She's the super hot, girl next door looking, Hooters girl turned NASCAR Sprint Cup hottie. But, sadly, that is no longer the case. Paige Duke has been relieved of duty.

Why you might ask. Ok, fine. I'll fill you in. Apparently, last week there were some photos of her that surfaced on a website. According to the news, they were graphic in nature. They were taken while she was a student of Clemson, getting her degree in Animal Science. So what we're saying is that a smart, educated, college graduate blessed with natural beauty who is paid by NASCAR with the purpose of being hot, was once young and slight inappropriate in front of a camera. Here is another case of prude Americans also being judgmental and allowing themselves to be engulfed in hypocrisy. Everyone was fine with staring at this beauty while she donned Sprint logos, but because she once, privately, doffed her clothes, she's no longer fit for NASCAR.

What confuses me is due to my lack of NASCAR knowledge. From that I know of it, cars turn left at unsafe speeds. Hillbillies gather around and drink too much while watching and cheering that the most violent accidents. They say it's the fastest growing sport in America, which makes me believe that they try to attract all demographics and all backgrounds. Surely, she can't be the only one that showcased the features God gave her for a lens. And she did it privately. Why don't we crucify the son of a bitch that leaked them to the press? What business is it of his to ruin her career (or at least part of it).

NASCAR, of course, places no responsibility on the pictures for the termination of her employment with them. Naturally, their statement is vague and generic - as to be expected then their general counsel and PR people get involved. She started with the Sprint Cup as Miss Sprint Cup at the start of the 2010 season. Of the 3 beauties that served that function, the other 2 are still active. She was terminated 4 days after the photos surfaced. So why do YOU think it happened?

Anyway, I guess what I'm driving at here is the fickle nature of us... once again. She's not a public servant. She's not an elected official. There are not children in her charge. Even if any of the above were true, these photos happened before any of it. So, she had a past. Just like me. Just like you. Just like the fat cat executives of NASCAR. I'm sure THEY'RE all squeaky clean. Mother Theresa and NASCAR execs all have a special place in heaven.

Nice job embarrassing the hell out of this poor girl. You should have, let it go, but if you couldn't see your way clear to do that, then you should have at least let her finish the season while the fanfare of the pics died down and then she simple doesn't come back next year. If it was about the pictures, that would have been more tactful. If it wasn't about the pictures, then it wouldn't have raised suspicion that it was.

Paige, we still love you. Who needs NASCAR? You're beautiful and smart. I'm sure your life will be just fine in whatever direction it takes next. Good luck. To the NASCAR/Sprint Cup execs - clearly you're a quart low. To America, where do you get off judging her?

Mark Halperin is fine

2011-06-30T13:39:00.001-05:00

Here I am again, disgusted by the schoolyard bullying and baby handholding that goes on in America. Does anyone have thick skin anymore? You know what? Forget schoolyard stuff. In the schoolyard we used to say "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never harm me." It seems that's forgotten as we get older.

Yesterday, Time Magazine's Editor-in-Chief Mark Halperin is also a senior political analyst for MSNBC. He was on yesterday and he called President Obama a name. Oh boy. Here we go. Keep in mind that Halperin was an ardent support of Barack Obama during the campaign. In two years his views have changed. So, he called the president a dick. He said, "I thought [Obama] was a dick yesterday." Earth shattering.

Let me just say one thing from my end. If I'm not being a dick and you call me a dick, I couldn't give a shit less about it. Think what you want. I know my place and my actions and I know that I'm not a dick. Now, if I'm actually being a dick and you call me a dick, I'm probably gonna get a little pissed off about it. It stings when someone pegs you with a negative connotation. So why is the President getting the red-ass about it? Maybe because it's true.

So Halperin got suspended within a split second of saying it and posted a public apology. Are you kidding me? The guy gets paid to analyze a political situation and opine about it. So he did. What's the beef here? That one grown up called another grown up a grown up name? Was the FCC pissed? Can you even say dick on TV? I don't know. Are there children watching MSNBC that learned a dirty word?

Aren't we protected by something that allows us to speak our minds? What's that damn thing called? Oh yeah, The First Amendment of the Constitution protects our freedom of speech. Doesn't the first amendment specifically speak of freedom of the press as it applies to not worrying about repercussions from an overreaching government? So Mark Halperin, call the president a dick all day long, but only if you really believe it.

Every president, of late, has been called every name in the book. Look at Dubya... that guy got less respect than Rodney Dangerfield. Nobody said a damn thing about it. It's political commentary. It's opinion. What if he interchanged words. Instead of calling him a dick, he explained his feelings using other words. Realistically, he would still have a negative opinion of the president. So what we're really pissed off about is syntax? Do I have that right?

Let me make one thing clear. I'm not going to advocate for acting like a degenerate neanderthal that can only spit on themselves while cursing out high ranking officials. Let's keep things in perspective. But Mark Halperin is the Editor-in-Chief of Time Magazine and a Senior Political Analyst for MSNBC. Presumably, he's good at what he does and he's educated. He's also human and slipped and if anything, spoke a little too honestly for all the prudes out there. Let's not crucify a guy for saying a word we've all said just because he said it to a larger audience. You know why I haven't said the word dick to millions of Americans? I've never had an audience that large.

Grow up America and Mark, speak the truth brother. Somebody has to. I do, but nobody listens to me.

Gimme, Gimme, I want, I want

2011-06-27T14:07:00.000-05:00

As many of my readers know (either through posts or personal interaction), I come from somewhat of a privileged life. I was blessed with an intact nuclear family, caring and nurturing parents, and no shortage of that green stuff. We always had way more than we needed and all of what we wanted. I've also been fortunate in my health, both of body and mind. Before laziness took its toll, I was very active in multiple sports - soccer, skiing, hockey, swimming, etc. I never struggled in school aside from finding the motivation to realize potential. Many things have come easy to me. I think it was a combination of mom's excitement and dad's work ethic. I always WANTED to do really well at things.

I may have expected some things to be handed to me along the way, at times. Why shouldn't they be? We were upper middle class from the New York City metro area. We were good, hard working, honest people. Dad went to work in a suit and tie with a briefcase, mon - fri, 9-5. Mom took care of the kids. It was a 1950s TV show flash-forwarded to the 80s/90s. I'm in my 30s now with a great job, but no career. I'm a year out from a divorce. My salary is a hair over my retail jobs from nearly a decade ago. I live in Biloxi, MS which requires a constant, conscious effort to slow down in movement, thoughts, and speech as to not leave the natives in the dust. I'm constrained by the military machine. There's no room for innovation or vision.

There's so much I want. I'm not content with a $60,000/year job. Not when I know I'm capable of so much more. I'm not even content with a $160,000/year job. It's decent money and would be an amazing upgrade right now, but that's not the kind of money you can look back on and realize you had it all. That's the kind of money you make in the NYC area after about 7-10 years of solid industry experience tied in with some management. I want a least another 0 on the end of that bad boy.

And nobody is going to give me what I want. It doesn't matter how smart I am or how badly I think I can manage something and sit in an ivory tower and direct people below me. Nobody is going to just hand it over. So... I'm going to take it. I have idea and vision. I see ways to innovate. I want to change the world. All the naysayers reading this are rolling their eyes and shaking their heads. That's fine. There's always someone with an idea or an ability and that person, hopefully, seizes the opportunity and makes it happen. It's gotta be someone, so might as well let that someone be me.

I'm finally organizing everything. Reworking all the brands I've worked so long to build a little at a time. Tech-City, Vig The Geek, JayVig Photography, JayVig Media. They are all coming together under one roof. An LLC will be formed in the near future. Brands will be defined along with services. I will stop trying to monetize everything and, in turn, end up monetizing nothing.

The company will have a clear mission statement and be defined the way a company should be. I'll no longer be doing all of it. There are others starting this company with me, each with our roles and checks and balances to keep it functioning. Real plan. Real business. Real money.

I don't know how long it will take, but I know we'll get there. I have so many ideas and want so many things and the bridge between the two is money. It's going to be a wild ride with so many unexpected events along the way, but I'm ready for them as is the rest of the team.

Stay tuned, because I'm about to (with the help of my team) make a lot of dreams come true.

Learn how to argue

2011-06-25T18:10:00.002-05:00

With the NY Senate passing the bill to allow gay marriage just last night, it's been a hot topic today. The latest viral campaign has been on Facebook with a post that goes as follow.

So let me get this STRAIGHT. ..Kelsey Grammer can end a 15yr marriage by phone, Larry King is on divorce #9, Britney Spears had a 55hr marriage, Jesse James & Tiger Woods, while married, were having sex with EVERYONE, 53% of Americans get divorced and 30-60% cheat on their spouses. Yet, same-sex marriage is going to destroy the institution of marriage? Really? Re-post if you find this ironic!

Before I go any further, let me take a minute to clear the air. I do NOT support gay marriage. This is my personal opinion. This has been ingrained in my through my years growing up in a Catholic church and my conservative Republican ideologies that have formed as I became an adult. I'm not here to argue the merits of gay marriage or about being gay at all. I'm just on another kick about word usage and context. However, my own personal lean and feelings will probably be evident throughout my explanation. If you don't like it, I understand and you are more than welcome to close your browser or start your own blog. This, however, is not the forum for discussion about it. It is MY personal blog which contains my personal thoughts and opinions. As a reminder, my beef at the moment is with the post itself and not the topic.

So these celebrities did some outlandish things. That's what celebrities do. Whether it's marriage related or their salaries, they are not the average person. They are certainly not representative of the whole. Since when do we, in science, use the smallest percentage as a reference point for the majority. Do we do that in democracy too? How about in match? Do we use the mean (average) or median (middle) or do we look at the most extreme boundaries? Even the most extreme candidates for office, within their respective parties, rarely get the vote. It's the centrists that people gravitate towards. Large percentages and middle ground is the fat part of the bell curve where most people reside on any topic.

So using the celebrity facts is nonsensical. I mean when you think about it, the author of this post used Britney Spears as a reference. This is the same woman who drives with her kid on her lap, shows the world her vagina and then shaves her head. Clearly not the average middle American.

The point is that these people who wreck the institution of marriage are not representative of the institution of marriage. They are whacked out cases. The institution of marriage is just as intact as it always ways. It still stands for the same thing. Whether people honor that or not is their own personal business but the constructs, the sanctity of marriage still exists, as it is an ideal and not a tangible thing. It certainly is not tied to the actions of a few individuals.

This post that's floating around is also predicated on the fact that gay people will not get divorced. Who is to say that the current 53% divorce rate (if that's even accurate) is not added to by gay people. Maybe it'll go up markedly for all we know. Maybe it'll go down and it won't be due to the better gay people and it'll be done simply because by the numbers there are more marriages so each divorce impacts the percentage less meaning it appears to go down. In that case, numbers can go up but percentage will not go up and may, in fact, go down.

So will the institution of marriage be destroyed? Possibly. That depends on how you define it. Is it the union of two people in love? Then probably not. Two people who are united regardless of how they feel? Definitely won't wreck it. Do you define it as the union of a man and a woman? Then yes, gay marriage destroys the institution of marriage. So it's all about context and definition.

As always, I don't take issue with what people say as much as I do with how they say it. That post is ignorant and nonsensical. It does not help prove anyone's case. However, it is emotionally charged and, therefore, will be followed and restated by the moronic masses.

I don't wish divorce on people. It's messy and expensive and it sucks - I know, I've been through it. But I'm curious to see what happens when gay marriage gets passed and just as many gay marriages are ending as straight marriages. Then what have we done? We've cluttered the divorce courts and broken up more homes. People are people regardless of their sexual orientation. Gay couples will fight about money and infidelity just like straight couples. Are they entitled to lose half their shit like the rest of us? Fine, go for it. I surrender. I don't agree with it, but go ahead and be as miserable as we are if you feel the need.

My parents have been married almost 40 years. They had ups and downs and they're still together. I know lots of people who are. From their generation I know more together than apart. From mine, it's the opposite. So maybe it's a cultural thing. The bigger, better, faster, more, I want it now, instant gratification generation in the United States that causes divorce. It's what causes people to make snap decisions about both getting married and leaving the marriage. Guess what? Gay folks are part of the same generation.

Let's see if you call out the gay celebrities for their horrible behavior too when it starts happening.

Morons

2011-06-24T16:28:00.001-05:00

I can't keep it in. I just can't. I see all this stupidity online and it drives me crazy. I often wonder if we're getting dumber because of technology or are we seeing more of it because of technology and I think it's a combination of the two. Anyone who has been following this blog knows how I feel about the to, two, too thing, there, their, and they're and my biggest pet peeve - your and you're. It makes my skin crawl every time I see some use your in place of you're. Some of my closest friends do it and it drives me bonkers. You're is YOU ARE. It's two goddamn words. How can you not know the difference?

The online stupidity is not relegated to the grammatically inept. Oh no. Every kind of ignoramus has found a voice online. The one that inspired this tirade had to do with geographical directions. Someone, on Facebook, referenced a story that was brewing and commented on is direction. Dopey outlined her hopes that the storm wouldn't hit where she lived - which was the opposite direction of where it was just said to be headed. She immediately got called out by original poster and rather than admitting she's a moron without an iota of common sense, she got defensive. As if she SHOULDN'T know.

Here's the funny part. She claimed that she didn't have mountains around her like in her home town to use a point of reference. Guess where she lives? On the Gulf Coast in Florida. Well let's see. There's a fuck-ton of water near you. My bet is that it's not a lake. It's the Gulf of Mexico. So... could that be North or South? Bingo was his name. You have a reference point.

How about the fact that outside of areas like NYC, almost all roads have directions. Interstate 10 only goes East or West, just like Hwy 98 in Florida. You use these terms constantly. If you don't know then you're a moron, plain and simple. You have every right to be a moron. What you do not have the right to be, however, is indignant about your stupidity. It's as if you earned the right to be stupid and you defend it so vehemently. You're proud of sounding incapable of passing the first grade.

This goes on all day. I understand not everyone is going to change the world. I know that nobody is perfect. The world needs ditch diggers as much as it needs visionaries. I get all that. I refuse to relinquish my feelings that adults who are capable of driving, voting and, most importantly, breeding should be able to complete an elementary school level exam. I will not surrender that belief no matter what. Maybe it makes me harsh. Maybe it makes me an arrogant asshole. I don't know, but that's it.

We are dumber than ever and we're more obvious about it. Schools lack... something... I have no idea what, but students aren't getting the information or it's not being reinforced. The Internet breeds laziness. There are tons of free dictionaries out there. Use them. If you can't spell antidisestablishmentarianism, you're forgiven. If you can't tell the difference between your and you're, then YOU'RE a moron.

It's that simple. Pick up a book, read a newspaper, pay attention. Do something to sound less stupid. For crying out loud, we had a show called "Are you smarter than a 5th grader?" because everyone knew enough contestants were not.

This is embarrassing. I'm moving to Bolivia.

Sad about this guy?

2011-06-20T12:34:00.000-05:00

If I'm reading the news correctly, a guy who made a living by doing stupid, dangerous things died in a very similar way last night. Ryan Dunn, formerly of Jackass fame, was in a car wreck last night that killed himself and his passenger. This guy was known for doing stupid, daredevil stunts. Preliminary reports from the accident say that speed and alcohol may have been factors.

I was never really a watcher of Jackass. The name itself implies it's devoid of all possible intellectuality. I've seen it from time to time and they had their funny bits, but they always seemed to go too far into the realm of pure stupidity. Just totally inane. I couldn't handle it. Especially when they went from stupid to disgusting.

Facebook and Twitter are all a buzz with people being upset and missing Ryan Dunn. What has this guy done since Jackass? Was he even one of the main player when he was on Jackass? He's most famous for putting a toy car in his asshole. Why do we praise and worship stupid people who do stupid things and enable them to do more of it? Then when the most likely thing in the world happens and they kill themselves being the exact person we helped condition them to be, we're upset.

Do people really hold so little value in their lives and have nothing better to do than watch people purposely hurt themselves? And how do these people get so many viewers to line up behind them and consider them heroes? I've often spoken about the focus of America and why we're looked at like we are morons by the rest of the world. Maybe weeping on Facebook about the loss of an ignoramus who hurt himself on purpose is part of it.

I'm definitely confused. I could not possibly give less of a shit about the death of Ryan Dunn. Sure, nobody wants to see and other human being get killed. But he's just like any other person and gets no special treatment from me. I'm partially disturbed that Ryan Dunn has impacted me to the point that I've used this time to write this post. He was a moron. A true Jackass and while I don't wish death on anyone I can't saw I'm shocked. He acted stupid. He drank and drove and posted pictures to his Twitter while doing it. Frankly, he got what was coming to him. Still sad?

Two way street

2011-06-19T14:27:00.001-05:00

I know in recent months I've done some bitching about things in life. I hit a rough patch with my social life, but all that has slowed down. Those that I don't get along with and have beefs with have been eliminated. My life has been decidedly less dramatic. What's funny about it is that I've been the same person throughout all of it. I haven't budged on who I am, how I act, what I think or any part of my person. The people that are still in my life are wonderful, trustworthy people. We all have fun. We hang at the pool and get some sun, have some beers and then grill and enjoy tasty food and good companionship. We get together on Xbox and save the world. It's easy. It's fun.

When there's a social agenda, I pick up the phone. Sometimes they pick up the phone. It's very natural. It's a two way street. Not everyone subscribes to that policy though. There are some people around that require chasing. They want to hang out. They want to have fun. They enjoy time when they are all together, but if you don't call them, they don't call you. If you don't and they hear that people have been social, they get upset.

This has gone so far that the be all, end all of friendship statuses, Facebook, has shown it. Someone didn't get a phone call over something and chose to click the magic "block" button. Keep in mind that the entire situation was predicated on tentative plans for some point. I didn't call, they didn't call. I have my life and they have theirs and as anyone knows, time flies by. So we got caught up, didn't make plans, they moved and now they're pissed at whoever didn't meet their expectations.

Normally I'd rant and rave for days on end at the ridiculousness, but I'm not going to. I can look to my right as I type this and see two of my closest friends hanging out enjoying a quiet Sunday before we head to the pool and realize that the drama just doesn't matter.

As for the rest of the folks that require the constant chasing... I have no beef with them in any way shape of form. I'm also not going to hunt them down. You know my number and where I life. Wanna hang out? Call. If not, then don't. It's all good. When we see each other we have fun and enjoy it but I have enough going on that I'm not begging anyone.

I have my job. I have school. Within the next few months I'll be (with help from those who understand the two-way street) forming a new company. In 2 years I'm moving back to New Jersey. The last thing I need is to worry about any of this nonsense. So, I'm not going to.

Whoever shows up and puts the time in will get the same in return from me. Anyone is welcome to step it up and increase our relationship at any point. Until then, I'll be investing my time into things that have a proven ROI.

Homogeneity

2011-06-17T12:47:00.001-05:00

The military is SO diverse, yet so alike. Sure we come from different areas and backgrounds but once we get here, we're all the same. Part of it is by design. It's a unity thing. It's why we wear uniforms and squadrons are called units and we march the same way, all together, they laugh alike, they walk alike, sometimes they even talk alike - too much Nick at Nite over the year I guess. Ignore the Patty Duke song. Anyway, we become homogenized. There are parts that just happen. It's not just a job. It's a lifestyle. We work and live together. We are all out of our elements. So we gel and become like one another.

In the process, we lose a piece of our identities. I don't like this. My identity is unique and complex. I come from an area that wasn't bad but not fantastic. Some friends still live with their grandmothers and work at gas stations. We had a 3 bedroom house and a pool in the yard. And I'm talking about before I moved to NJ. This is from the old NY days. My life was very Yin and Yang as I think back. We could hang out at a family barbecue and swim in the pool in the yard in the same day as applying...umm... urban artwork. Lots of weird duality.

My Queens crew had its own name and everyone in it had their own names as well. There was Brian Garlic, Skelly Miller, Keas, Wake, Ronnie Fingers, Biz, Rid, and others and since I moved away I was affectionately called "Jason from Jersey." And I mean ALL the time. As long as it was to say, it was used in its entirety even when addressing me.

We had stockings hanging in our favorite bar at Christmas time. We injected made up or shortened words into our vernacular and they'd spread. Do you remember the term "herb" for someone who was considered like a loser or nerd? Started in my old neighborhood. If I had to guess, it was one of Skelly's, but I just know it began near me. We said it years before I heard it anywhere else. There's a list of things I said nonstop all day long as part of my speech patterns that I lost when I came into the military. Some were pretty stupid to be honest, but that's not the point. I didn't give them up because they were stupid. They just faded over time being part of this vanilla lifestyle. Maybe I would have outgrown some, but maybe not. I hate that being in such an insular society like the military has caused me to conform. I'm far from outlandish by nature, but lost any little bit of flair.

I've been thinking about re-introducing these words and spreading them around the southland. They already say stupid shit like, "I'm fixin' to go to the store" and the forever dumb "y'all" anyway. So here are some... don't judge me.

-Herb - loser, jerk, overall putz.
-Schroom - bathroom
-Pcs - hot girl. Crude people see a hot girl and call her a "piece." This is subtle, as pcs is the abbreviation for pieces.
-Shrab (maybe shroub. Not sure how to spell a word that's not real)- a hard time. When your wife is nagging you to do something, she's giving you shrab.
-WhattaWeGot.
--Greeting. "Hey buddy. WhattaWeGot."
--Clarification. "Wanna go eat?" "Depends. WhattaWeGot."
--Confusion. "I don't understand why this won't work. WhattaWeGot with this thing?"
-Mad - modifier to mean a lot or intense. "It was mad hot out today." Can even be used alone. "You like that movie?" and you say, "yeah. mad."
-Round - all encompassing. Not round like a circle, but like a round of boxing or a round of drinks.
--Replaces shrab or adds to it. "She won't leave me alone, she's always giving me a round (or a round of shrab)."
--"You want sushi?" "Nah, I don't really have a round."

That's all I can think of at the moment, as these have been pushed into the depths of my memory. The actual terms aren't as important as it is to reclaim all of me before I let go of parts to mesh into this [temporary] life. Hard to separate yourself and be unique and have vision and be innovative when you fall in with the flock. So I'm going to be me like I always have, and this may be the opposite of what the world truly needs, but I'm going to be MORE of me - like I used to be.

I also can't wait to annoy the shit out of all the southerners when the full fledged "yankee" in me resurfaces.

We are gathered here today...

2011-06-10T10:37:00.000-05:00

If I remember correctly, in about 4 hours I was supposed to get married. Today was the day. Friday, June 10, 2011. It would have been in planning longer than 18 months. We had a magnificent place in New Jersey called Macaluso's that was just beautiful. The food would have been amazing. Everything about this day would have been grandiose. I'd have enjoyed every minute of it. The truth of the matter is that, while I'd have loved it when it happened, we all know who these days are really for.

Before I go on, I know some of you are wondering how I could have been getting married if I was already married. Linda, sometimes referred to as "dummy" or "the leech," and I were married civilly and we were planning this gigantic wedding event in the church and celebration that followed.

One year ago today, she left for New Jersey for wedding planning. It was during this trip that she ordered, booked, bought, or scheduled thousands of dollars of stuff for our wedding in an all-expense paid shopping spree kind of way. I paid, my parents paid and she grabbed like a spoiled brat. I was here in Mississippi receiving phone calls with "I want" and "I need money" reminiscent of a toddler in Toys R Us. It was reported to me that she had near tantrums on more than one occasion.

This is a girl who comes from nothing and was handed everything. A princess wedding. A dream come true or as she put it "finally getting everything I stopped wanting because I never thought I'd get it." Fourteen days later she retuned and sixteen days after that she left. Imagine that. Those of you who know me well, know the story of how this all came to be. It's pure insanity.

Today was supposed to be the happiest day of my life and meanwhile, look at what this last year has turned into. I'm angry at myself for allowing this to happen and be disappointed again. I'm furious at her for letting me believe she was one person and then showing herself to be another. I'm regretful at the mistakes I've made along the way with her, but I'm relieved because it all accelerated the process. More than anything I'm thankful that we didn't spend the equivalent of an S class Mercedes before she decided to flip out or, God forbid, have children together.

I can't say that even .0001% of me wants her back. Maybe .01% even wants to see her face again. I'm sorry for all the letdowns of my family. I'm sorry for the money lost in all this. I'm sorry I'm in Mississippi alone (I can't imagine reenlisting if I was solo at the time). I guess I miss the idea of what it all was supposed to be; the next chapter of my life and the most amazing celebration possible to mark the start of all of it. It's over and done with now. Service providers have our deposits, we all have disappointments and somehow in the blink of an eye I went from having a future beautiful bride to an ex-wife. It was awesome. We were so alike and so happy.

Now we're just two strangers connected only by the bill collectors that call for her.

Weiner's Wiener

2011-06-08T13:04:00.000-05:00

Guess what everybody? A politician had an affair. The end.

Ok, I'll keep going. So Weiner had some 26 year old send pictures, messages, etc into ABC about the year affair she had with Democrat Anthony Weiner. He admitted that it was him and that he was wrong. Do you believe him? There were a reported total of six different women over three years. This was not a one-time mistake. Before we attack his character, let's turn to the citizens of New York (that's who he represents, in case the only thing you knew about him is that he shows his pecker to people he shouldn't). Anyway, New Yorkers? Has Weiner served you well? That just sounds funny. Seriously, has he done a good job keeping you satisfied? No really... has this man done his job? If so, then who cares what he does in his marriage? Maybe you can't trust a word he says.

And this is not partisan because both sides of the coin are full of hypocrisy. Republicans scream and yell about morals and family. Then they knock up the maid or do "The Larry Craig Shuffle" and tap their feet in a men's room in a morse code pattern that apparently means "nice ass."

The Democrats are no better. They're busy spitting granola all over the place in an effort to say leave us alone and let us love whoever we want, however we want - even if it's the tree we live in. Weiner was a democrat.

The Republicans are in favor of Capitalism and big business and don't want to over-regulate things except who can marry who, who can get an abortion, and every personal detail of what they consider right and wrong (tap, tap, tap-tap-tap, tap-tap just means do you have spare toilet paper?).

The Democrats yell at the government and say, "you can't tell us who to love," but come running back and say "give us welfare, we need help. please almighty government take care of the masses."

See? It's all nonsense.

I guess I could give a shit less what these people do in their private lives. I watch actors/actresses because I like movies. I don't care how many third world countries Angelina Jolie goes to so she can dust off another baby and take it home. I watch sports because I like to see grown men beating the shit out of one another and it's a great reason to drink more beer. Don't care if they have unique ways of playing with their pets. I vote for politicians because they enact laws in concert with my beliefs. I don't care what they do. I don't even care if their beliefs are the same as mine. I care that they will fight for my beliefs. I'm in the military. You think I wholeheartedly agree with every military maneuver completed since I joined? I don't have to believe in every second of every minute of every day, but I'll serve like I do. That's my job.

So if Anthony Weiner wasn't getting any and decided to get some in ways he shouldn't have, but... the state of New York is in better shape, then so be it. Maybe a little action is good for the guy. Maybe he does a better job. His no name next door neighbor has probably been banging the babysitter and the wife is sleeping with the Tennis pro at the club. You don't know about it so you don't care? Does that make it right? No. It just makes it their personal life. Those people probably show up to work every day and do an outstanding job because ONE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE OTHER.

So to Weiner, and his wiener, I hope it was worth it and I'm sorry the scandal is, more than likely, gonna get you fired. The real shame is that we left Europe to escape persecution and control only to come here and continue to be uptight, prudes. Nothing really changed. We just have better technology now.

Did you learn anything from it?

2011-06-04T17:08:00.000-05:00

As I mentioned once before, we all make mistakes in life. However, the only real mistake is the one you learn nothing from. If you do something you shouldn't and take away some value, then it's a learning experience. If you don't, then it's truly a mistake. This is not about any one mistake that anyone has made. Rather, it's about allowing history to repeat itself and getting what you deserve. Remember the "fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me" saying? If the same person fools you twice, in the same way, then it's hard to feel bad for you because you should have known better.

I had this conversation with someone just yesterday who was complaining that people don't change their behavior and he has a hard time with it. We went around and around on the phone and I stopped him finally and said, "if every time you invite me over your house I show up and punch you in the face, eventually you'll stop inviting me over." You learn about bad behavior and avoid it. Now... if you say "I didn't know this was going to happen" then you haven't been paying attention. If you knew it was going to happen and didn't care, then it's on you for welcoming this negativity into your life repeatedly and, therefore, lose the right to complain.

It reminds me of another favorite quote of mine - if you always do what you've always done; you'll always get what you always got. If you don't change your approach, why would the results change. Shit in, shit out, as they say.

Some things are mistakes and there's no way around it. That doesn't mean they have to be a negative force in your life; totally devoid of any value. Ever get a question wrong on a test? Would you get the same question wrong a second time? Hopefully you learned and better negotiate the exam the next time. It sucked to get it wrong, but you found value and learning in the experience and ended up stronger for it. Truth be told, that scenario may even be more positive because the correct answer has been reinforced that much further after getting it wrong the first time.

I see this a lot, and I know I've done it myself at times. It's stupid and counter productive. As humans, we do the wrong thing sometimes, but why do we allow ourselves to repeat it and subject ourselves to the negative circumstances again and again? More importantly, why do we stand for poor treatment from other people repeatedly?

A wise, old friend* of mine mentioned the same thing to me not long ago. He was 100% correct. In business we look for ROI (return on investment). If we consistently lose money on a deal, we stop making the deal. Translate that to relationships and emotions. In both business and science, we make this call after we've collected enough data to do some trend analysis and be sure. Do the same thing in your life.

For those looking to pinpoint hypocrisy in my writing, and I know you exist, I'm not talking about judging people. I've taken a hard line against judgment like that. You can, however, judge the value of a relationship. Do you think an alcoholic judges people who drink? Not necessarily. Will they spend time with people who frequent bars though? Probably not. They have no beef with the person, but choose not to keep company with them, for their methods are in opposition to each other.

I guess I have a hard time watching friends of mine get a raw deal from other people that they know they're gonna get a raw deal from. It's no surprise, you can't change a person, cut your losses and press on. Losing people always sucks, but if the relationship loses more than it gains it's time to walk away. In very rare cases, a single instance is enough to break the bond, but that's not my story today. Today it's about a small, recurring issue that happens so often, it no longer feels small to you. It's a negative trend and a poor standard. Move on, you'll be better for it.

*By the way, my wise, old friend is not old. He's a wise friend and an old friend, as to say we go way back. He, in and of himself, is not old. ;)

Pets = Family

2011-06-01T11:43:00.000-05:00

So it's come to my attention that people think I'm ridiculous about my cats. I shouldn't post status updates about them or pictures. When I call them adorable and say that I love them, it's ridiculous and gay. One person may actually believe that I'm gay because of it. Grow up.

Speaking of growing up, I never had pets as a kid. My brother and I had allergies. Mark's were much, much worse. We had fish and he had a turtle. Never cats and dogs. When my ex-wife moved down to SC she had 3 cats and I said "no way." I was not for it. Did not want any cats. So she found homes for 2 of them. The last one was a little skittish and not very friendly and nobody would take him. So she had to bring him. As it turns out, he was cute and very, very funny with all the stupid cat things he'd do. I grew to really like him.

Then we moved to Mississippi and wanted someone for him to play with. So we got Shadow. She was a little kitten and lots of fun. Linda's cat was a few years old and she had him a while. I never saw him from a little kitten. It was like a stepkid. When we got shadow, it was like my own. So when Linda left, I told her she couldn't take Shadow with her. I had 3 requirements that she had to leave behind - her ring, Shadow, and my last name. We named Shadow what we did because she follows me everywhere. She's my shadow.

After Linda left, Shadow was a mess. She's wake up in the middle of the night on my chest doing that crying meow. They don't speak, but they can try to get a point across. She was upset. Her mom and brother left one day and never came back. When I would be upset about the separation, she'd get maternal and climb on me and lick my hands like she was trying to care for me. I know they don't understand what you say when you talk to them and they certainly can't verbalize a response, but I came home to an empty house every day and having another living, breathing creature in the house was comforting.

Immediately, I went to the animal shelter and picked up Herbie. Shadow needed someone to hang around with and her mood improved after about 2 days of sniffing Herbie's ass to determine how she felt about him. Now they're best friends. She takes care of him and mothers him all the time too.

Some months went by and I was in PetSmart. I saw Benny. He had a brother and they were little and cute but I was not about to get 2 more cats. That's insanity. But, I had to go back in the store later that day and sure enough, someone was walking out with his brother right then and there. When I went to the back to see Benny, he was all alone and clearly miserable. I couldn't leave him like that. So I took him home with me.

I have 3 cats. It's a lot. I love Benny boy but I honestly wouldn't have gotten a third one if I could go back and do it all over again. Now that I do have them, I'm also not sorry. People cry when pets die. Movies are made about pets. They are family. You love them and they love you back. I understand it's not traditional for men to have cats and I know people call me the male version of the crazy cat lady that dies alone with 900 cats.

I'm a single guy in an apartment. I leave all day and come and go randomly. I work long hours. Having a dog is not really sensible. The place isn't that big. Dogs can be noisy. The apartment complex only allows for small dogs (which would make me just as gay in the minds of the morons). Most importantly, dogs require structure. So many friends of mine have to go home at certain times to take care of their dogs. That's not for me. So I have cats.

They're playful and loving and keep me company. They things they do make me laugh. Everyone that comes over, loves them because they're friendly to everyone and just want to be pet and played with. As a matter of fact, the night I was in PetSmart I was with a buddy. He and I were gushing over the cuteness of Benny when some tough looking dude walked by. We both straightened right up and stopped. This guy asks, "What they got in there? Dogs or cats?" We said that they were all cats and mostly kittens. So he walks up and looks. Now keep in mind that this guy is tough looking thug kinda guy and the minute he saw Benny, he started to tap on the glass and talk to Benny in a baby voice. Is he gay? His wife and kid were in tow. Maybe he's just not a heartless bastard and can appreciate the cuteness of a baby animal the way people do with kids.

I don't have kids. I no long even have a wife. In 9 days, I was supposed to have a gigantic wedding celebration with my no ex-wife (we did the civil thing and this was gonna be the religious thing and reception). All of that is gone now. It's just me and the cats. No wife, no kids, no roommates. So you can call me gay or think it's ridiculous.

Pets are family for so many people. For me and my situation and how my pet ownership evolved... cats are for me. I enjoy them and give them a good home. They are spoiled brats, to be honest. I am NOT the crazy cat lady. For one, I'm not a woman. Two, I'm not going to die alone. Three, I'm not getting more. Two was enough, but I couldn't resist Benny. So that's where I stand.

Think whatever you want, but I'd personally prefer you spent less time thinking about me being ridiculous and especially gay and went on with your own lives. My cats are my kids, just like 99% of pet owners out there.

Informed Decisions

2011-05-31T09:21:00.000-05:00

This morning in the waiting room of the doctor's office, I was eavesdropping on the people in front of me. Truthfully, I was trying to listen to the TV in front of them and they were loud so I couldn't help it. Anyway, I didn't really hear the context of their conversation but I did distinctly hear this "she don't know me so who cares what she thinks about me anyway?" This is a common theme with people. I understand where they're coming from - a total stranger has no investment in your life so why care about their opinion, right? I get it. I just don't agree.

I care very much what strangers think of me. I won't alter myself to fit the image they want necessarily, but I care. It's the people who know me well that I don't care as much about their opinion. I know it sounds crazy, but let me explain. There's a method to my madness.

If I just met you and you don't like me, I get upset. You don't know me yet. Get to know me and make an informed decision. A first impression, while important, is not enough to base a whole decision on. That's like saying, "we tried this new drug to cure cancer on a single lab rat and it didn't work. I guess it's a bust." You need more data points to come to an accurate conclusion.

Now if someone I've known for many years - like Dr. Jim - said, "dude, after 20 years of being your friend I've come to the conclusion that you're just a prick. I can't hang out with you anymore." I'd be hurt. Hell, I'd be devastated because he's one of my best friends in the world, but I'd understand. I can respect that you did your due diligence and put the time in. You know me as well as anyone can and you've decided that I'm not for you. After 20 years, you're sure about your decision because it comes from a very informed place. You've earned the right to decide you don't like me.

Like I mentioned, new people don't know me and likewise I don't know them. What that means to me is that I have no way of knowing how they'll play into my life in the future. Don't decide on me quickly because who knows what we have to offer each other down the line. Maybe your father's sister's neighbor is an executive somewhere that'll meet me and offer me a job. Maybe you'll need tech help or a photographer and I can help. You just never know.

After two decades, it's safe to say that Dr. Jim knows what I have to offer in life and has factored that into his decision. Things should be weighed and measured. Ask the question "why?" Consider two things - value added and felt effect. What is the value added to life by a person? If you know the answer and it's nothing, then walk. If it's a stranger, then there's no way you know yet and should find out. If the felt effect is positivity or negativity adjust accordingly. If you haven't felt an effect of someone, give it time.

Dr. Jim hasn't walked away from me. He was just a reference point because he knows me well enough to make that decision. Maybe he does think I'm a prick. I called him something similar yesterday - I think it was an impatient asshole - but he supported it and thinks he is one too. Actually I was just teasing him because as a doctor he's supposed to have patients... or patience - that was the joke. Besides, he needs me for tech advice. I need him for doctor advice so we're stuck with each other.

Anyway, I know it goes against the grain. I shouldn't care about strangers and I should care about those close to me. At least that's what societal norms tell me. I just don't see it. Maybe I overanalyze people the way I do situations and that's why I need to know someone well before deciding they are a jerk. I have no idea. I guess what it comes down to is that when I meet someone new I'm leery about making a decision because I'm not sure what I'm losing out on down the line. Simply, I hedge my bets, back my wins and cut my losses - but I gotta know the odds before I do any of it. Phrased in the way of a true gambler, right?

Maybe you agree, maybe you don't. Just think about it the next time you meet someone new and pull away. Think about all the ways this person may play into your life and if you don't know any of them yet, you may wanna hang tight until you do. You could be missing a great opportunity.

Overall, just be informed. It never hurts to know, read, understand, see or comprehend MORE.

People in glass houses with loose lips call the kettle black

2011-05-20T02:06:00.000-05:00

I like proverbs, cliches and stereotypes. I know that's not politically correct to say, but I don't like political correctness. This is why my mouth has always gotten me in trouble. I believe in honesty, transparency and, most importantly, context. Words are not bad, in and of themselves. Not much really is. Until the mini-mustachioed Hitler held it up to a mirror, stuck it in an falcon's claw and emblazoned it on a flag; what we know today to be a swastika was actually a sign of good luck in Tibet. It's connotation that ruins things for everyone.

Stereotypes are often given a bad rap. Stereotypes are stereotypically bad. That sounds like a mighty fine level of hypocrisy to me. How can apply a blanket policy that bans blanket policy as a society. This plays in so many parts of life, but often takes up residence in racial settings. I'm in the military. We're a fairly diverse bunch. Being a northerner, or damn Yankee as I'm called down here, I have to learn to live with all kinds of people, over 99% of which are not even a little bit like me. I have no problem with it. It is because of that I take issue when I apply a stereotype and get yelled at.

What is a stereotype exactly? Oxford English dictionary tells me it is a "widely held, but fixed and oversimplified image or idea of a particular type of person or thing." So would a saying like - all lemons are sour be a stereotype? That idea is widely held. It's fixed in people's minds and I'd say it's over simplified because the lemon eaters of the world will say there's more to a lemon than it's sourness. Does anyone come to the aid of the defenseless lemon? So I'm being a bit silly, but that's the definition. How do stereotypes come to be? The same things happen over and over again. Acts are perpetrated by a class or group of people with a unifying characteristic so often that it comes to be expected.

Let's look at the post-9/11 world. Do we say that all bearded people are terrorists? Nope. We do, often, say that Muslims are terrorists. This is not necessarily true. There are many Muslims that couldn't be further from terrorists. However, let's look at changing the qualifier. Can't say Asians, even though the part of the world that we are at odds with is really in Asia because people think of the far east. So what do you say? Dark complexioned people? I'm mostly Sicilian and I turn straight brown by August. I'm not a terrorist, nor are my ancestors. So we default to the religious aspect. For the sake of science, let's consider those alternatives. How many acts of terrorism have been carried out by Christians (post Crusades)? Jews? When's the last time a Buddhist monk set anything on fire besides himself? Looking at acts of terrorism in our current world, they are religiously charged and completed by Muslims. Granted, they are Muslims of the extremist variety and maybe that qualifier should be added when discussing it but at its core, that's the religion creating the drama. There's quite a bit more than a modicum of truth to the thought about Muslims and terrorists.

So I use stereotypes. I didn't make the X-number of people of a particular race/ethnicity/religion/geographical location/etc do something so many times that it becomes expected, but I'm sure as shit not going to dance around the fact that the association is made. Maybe that's an opportunity for the good eggs of the group to become advocates for their people to spur disassociation. Positive outreach, perhaps?

Understanding that stereotypes, like ANYTHING, have exceptions and are generalizations rather than rules, make the whole thing ok in my book. Unfortunately, the coddling that goes on requires us to be sensitive and not say it out loud. There's that "the whole truth" thing I spoke about a few days ago.

Proverbs or cliches (defined by the level of cheesiness, I believe) are something else that I'm a real big fan of - hence the title. Yes, people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. People may look at your glass house and see you naked. Actually, I think it's because someone may throw a stone back and break your house, which incidentally is your own fault for living in a glass house. That's gotta be expensive to heat in the winter, too. I get it. Don't judge people. I hate being judged. It's one of the worst things in the world and I'm at odds with some people currently over it. There is a difference between fair and unfairly judging people I think. If I do something that applies to and affects only me, I shouldn't be judged by anyone. It's my business. When I overstep my freedoms and my bad choices affect other innocents, then it's no longer my business. You can also judge my actions, but not me as a person. You can judge my actions because some things are just wrong - by society, law, or morals. It's safe to say that punching a stranger in the nose is something that people can pass judgment on.

Loose lips sink ships. I think loose seals in the hull... or an iceberg... may sink ships, but loose lips? (by the way, please don't ever say lose. That means it's misplaced and you can't misplace your lips... they're attached to your head). Maybe if the captain of a ship is talking to a pretty girl too much instead of steering than loose lips can sink a ship. I guess the meaning there is that people who talk to much, let word get around that may or may not be true and it undermines the effectiveness of a team of people. Rumor mill type stuff. That's my guess.

The pot calling the kettle black. First of all, what if the pot is green and the kettle is black? Then why the hell would the pot NOT call the kettle black? Really people. What if the pot is a dark gray and it's not in a well lit area? It could appear to be black. What if the pot is color blind? Has anyone considered these scenarios? So let's say it's noon on a sunny day and they're both black. The pot shouldn't call the kettle black, even though it is and everyone can see it. I shouldn't say something bad about someone that does something wrong because I've done that too. Maybe I didn't mean to. Maybe I've atoned for it. Maybe the kettle is not penitent for his transgression. Frankly, the situation that surrounds the act may make it worse for one person than another. But then there's the glass house thing again. Geez, nobody can have an opinion anymore.

Here's the thing (and we'll use the Muslim terrorist reference again). I judge them. I talk about them. I'm negative, but I do it in context and as it applies to me. You think I care that Muslims don't like how I live my life? Nope. They can cover their wives and kneel on their flying carpets all day long and hate me because I don't. But when they choose to try to end my life over it, I'm gonna be pissed about it. I can throw stones at their houses, which is usually worthless since theirs are made of stone anyway. But if they lived in glass ones I could throw stones at it. I do my thing, in my country, on my own, as it applies to me. And I say, in deference to them, you do your thing and I'll do mine. As for the pot/kettle thing, I suppose I could take flack for being in the military and causing death and destruction since they do the same, but there's a big, Big, BIG difference. I help kill enemy combatants. They kill whoever is standing nearby, including themselves. I'm part of a military that's acting in response to their attacks. Self-defense and self-preservation. We were fine to ignore them until they showed up with a sucker punch (more than once - remember 1993?).

I guess the point is that... well I'm not really sure to be honest. Wait... I think I found it. Using judgmental cliches about why people are bad for judging others may sound silly, but it's the context that makes the difference. I was going to write a whole post on judging people and hypocrisy but I think this may have covered it actually.

If I listen to my TV loudly and you don't like it, don't judge me. If you listen to your TV so loudly that it wakes me up from another apartment, I'll judge you because your actions infringe on mine and that's wrong. That's rude. I can think you're rude over the whole thing. If what I'm doing affects only me then you have no place to tell me it's wrong because it's simply not your business.

And to think, the whole post could have been done in 5 sentences. Where's the fun in that though?

Who is surprised?

2011-05-19T01:26:00.000-05:00

If you're reading this AND a friend on Facebook, you should have seen a status from earlier today that said, "So what you're saying is that a super rich movie star with political power that's known for being a womanizer has cheated on his wife. I don't know about you but I'm shocked." Let's retrace the governator's steps. He gets his start by being one of the most famous bodybuilders and Mr. Universe. It's no secret that many women like a well built man. He moves into movies and we're talking about tough guy, badass movies. He's an action hero. Girls want him and guys want to be him. Both combined he's got enough financial worth to give everyone in his home country $50,000,000 each. He married a Kennedy. His latest endeavor made him governor of California. That's the man we're dealing with.

So yesterday we find out he had a child out of wedlock. According to several websites, 41% of marriages have one or both parties admit to infidelity, 57% of men admit to it in any relationship they've had, and 74% of men claim they would have an affair if they knew they'd never get caught. These are normal people, not the folks from Hollyweird. Now think about how many celebrities you hear about having affairs. Now, just for giggles think about the men that share blood with Maria Shriver... yeah the Kennedy's were no angels. Ok, back to the point. Oh, I forgot a fact. Mrs. Terminator said publicly, today that she knew for years he was a womanizer.

So, I ask you... where's the surprise coming from? Do I condone what he did? Absolutely not. Do I understand why such a high profile person would ever do that give the amplified risks and so much more to lose? Not even a little. Does any of this surprise me one iota? Not a chance.

If he was a nobody, would this get press? No way because people do it all day long. What about a regular governor that wasn't a celebrity or household name outside of his or her state? It'd get mentioned. Constituents would be furious and then use it as a means to get "their guy" in office and then it would die. So why is it worse or even more newsworthy when it's Arnie? It's not. It's LESS newsworthy because his situation has the writing on the wall that it would happen long before it did happen. I think he's just lucky he's not dealing with the Kennedy family of the 1950s or he's be in a heap of trouble. I don't care how big Arnold is, Ol' Joe Kennedy would whoop his ass. He was tough for a Democrat.

And can the Communist News Network (you call it CNN), please drop the outrage that he lied to his voters? How many of his voters are a) California hippies that are busy eating granola in trees or trying to restore The Haight to the glory days of 1967 or b) busy cheating on their spouses in a cheap motel with no TV in the first place? Did you really think he was gonna come out and say anything before he had to?

Does the fact that he had naughty time with someone other than Maria mean he can't make sound decisions about budgets and laws? What's the real harm for the voters? Yes it's wrong and dishonest. Did you elect him because you liked the way he treated his wife or for his policies? His personal life is exactly that - personal.

Oh and partisan folks using party lines to blame this on the Republicans and use the conservative family values thing against him; I've got something for you too. Who cheated while holding a very special circular office? Clinton. Party? Democrat. Who else? Kennedy. Party? Democrat. I'm not getting on the case of the Dems. Just saying that party lines have nothing to do with this. The only lines Conan was interested in were panty lines.

So back to my original question - who is surprised?

Let's be friends

2011-05-18T12:16:00.001-05:00

I'm not actually asking. More or less I'm making fun of most people. See, this is the new default policy due to social networking. It is as if the the entire world is some tween girl cheerleader. They meet someone and 3 seconds later it turns into "OMG. We SO have to be BFFs on Facebook." Grow up. I love Facebook, Twitter, and all social media. I truly do. The value is limitless in business and finding old friends or growing new relationships. However, you may notice that my Facebook friends list went from 650 to 413 and on Twitter I have 321 followers, but only follow 244 people.

The world today consists of "friending" everyone you've ever met, know of through someone else, heard of as a celebrity, or may have seen on the street and had the wherewithal to use your stalker ability, spidey-sense and Sherlock Holmes clue finding skills to track down and friend request in a total non-creepy way. And there has developed a subculture about accepting these friend requests. People feel awkward denying them and it's even harder to delete them once they've made it to the inner sanctum of your Facebook friends list that contains only the closest of confidants, right? I don't get it either, but it's happened.

Not to me, holmes. I'll deny a friend request faster than you can say "Mark Zuckerberg made me do it" and just because you've been accepted it doesn't mean you can't be voted off my virtual island. Admittedly, I'm quicker to deny someone than delete someone. Let's consult with our good friend Webster on the matter. This is a friend request. So how is friend defined - a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection. Well I'll be damned. A person whom one knows - so that eliminates all the people that friend me because I'm in the military just like their sister's boyfriend's cousin's hairdresser's next door neighbor. That also eliminates the people who friend request me because they graduated from the same high school as me, except they did it in 1974. This also includes someone that I may have met once. I know who you are, but I don't know you.

The 2nd half deserves its own paragraph. Mutual affection. That means we have to like each other. There goes the ex-wife. There goes the group of people I suffer through each day at work and we're only in contact because the federal government says we have to be. That even excludes pretty much anyone I just met. Just because we laughed together once, doesn't mean there's a mutual affection there.

Now... I understand I said it's a good way to grow new relationships. That means I'm not going to blindly exclude everyone. I don't believe in blanket policies... unless the policy is about everyone giving me money. But let's not swing all the to other side of the spectrum and blindly accept every person we've ever laid eyes on either.

I'm seeing this happen right now as a matter of fact with one individual who is friending every single person. So this person recently met a bunch of new people all at once. I suppose they all got along well enough for the time they spent. Then this person pretty much disappeared. Even the tether to the crowd that this individual had in the first place is more or less nonexistent lately. But... friend requests are popping up faster than zits on a adolescents face - and across all platforms. People have chatted about it, "Dude, another request from you know who on X network."

1) If you're friends with someone in life and online, do you need to be friends with them EVERYWHERE? Most people I'm friends with on either Facebook OR Twitter and only very few I keep on both. Those are usually business people or those that put out unique content between the 2.

2) If you're barely friends with someone in life, what's the value of chasing them up and down the information superhighway?

3) If you're getting denied in some places, why the hell would you chase them to others?

You don't have to be friends with everyone, everywhere, every moment of the day. Some people just don't like you. Sometimes, people don't get along. This is why the amazing invention of the Internet in its amazing iteration of Web 2.0 is bloated and stuffy with more nonsense than value. It's why the social web has jumped the shark and we need to rethink it again.

Maybe it's time we think of what it means to be a friend, what we're sharing online and if we really want all these people to see it constantly. And also consider the level of desperation shown when you feel the need to friend everyone within minutes of meeting them. I think it's creepy, frankly.

What's your motive?

2011-05-18T01:14:00.000-05:00

So often I speak of life back home and a life once lived. I tell you tales of where I've been and what I've done and how I cam to be where I currently am. I talk of family and friends and area. What I tell you is just a small portion. There is such a sense of community and belonging in that area. It's geographical, it's cultural, and to a degree it's even religious. Italians and Catholics go hand in hand where I'm from. I don't see or feel that here. I'm not sure if it's a southern thing or a military thing or a little of both. I haven't been stationed north of the Mason-Dixon line nor had an opportunity to do my due diligence and narrow it down to a part of my subculture. It's quite possible that it's just me.

What I do know is that it's changed me. The quid pro quo in my life upsets me. I do, you do is the theme. Rarely, it seems, does someone go out of their way for another without expecting something in return. A few weeks ago, while I was laid up from surgery, my buddy Ty came over and cleaned my house because I simply was unable to. He didn't want anything in return. He then offered to invite me over to his house for dinner, again without looking for a thank you of equal value. I chose to buy the ingredients for dinner as a means to say thank you, but not because I was made to feel obligated to do so. Unfortunately, this is a rarity as of late.

Dr. Jim and I would often talk about the approaches to friendship in terms of money. He and I owe each other between $10 and $20 at any given moment. I buy beers, he buys beers. It doesn't always work out evenly. If we went out to eat, we'd split the check down the middle since there was two of us. Did we consume $25 each? Not always. The money works out over time between friends and if it doesn't, who cares? It's not like I'm buying Jim a $200 iPhone and he picks up a pack of smokes for me which creates a disparity of about $194. It's a few bucks between lifelong friends.

I don't expect everyone to think like I do on this matter. Plus we all come from different financial backgrounds. I may say "aw hell, what's 20 bucks?" and someone else may not readily part with that. I will say that I find it's easier when the natural ebb and flow of money between friends runs it course instead of nitpicking. The check at a restaurant seems to be the biggest. Smartphone calculators or apps for splitting to the penny sometimes come out. "You owe $19.37 and I only owe $17.55." That's petty squabbling in my opinion. In the end, I'm gonna drop a $20 bill and be done with it anyway. (Tip notwithstanding. I'm generalizing).

I don't care about the money. People with money rarely do. I look at people like my dad or Alan, who work their respective tails off to be successful. They aren't successful because they watch every penny. They have no problem spending money, but they take huge issue with wasting it. I'm the same way. Locally, to my insular society in the military, I feel fairly unique. As a result, I end up being withdrawn in my approach and buy my own beers at the bar and don't let people pick things up for me because I don't like being made to feel like I'm beholden to someone over it. So I take care of myself and let them do the same.

Unfortunately, these behaviors affect me because I'm on love with sociology. I look at the "whys" of people's behavior. I think "why" is the most important question in life. So, everyone once in a while someone does something nice that is totally unexpected and for no reason at all and my first reaction is to wonder, "what's in it for them?" when in reality, they're just being thoughtful. This happened today.

Anyone who knows me is aware of my sweet tooth. I'm no big on chocolate or candy bars, but put cake or a cupcake in front of me and you better be sure to get those fingers away in time. I'll fight someone over cheesecake - try me. Here in Biloxi we have a place called Frostings. They are totally decadent cupcakes and instead of icing on top only, they have a big divot in the middle and the frosting goes inside. They are rich and sweet and more than one at a time is sure to put you in a diabetic coma. I stay far, far away because even looking at the building kicks the insulin production into overdrive. I think you get the point.

Because of my transparency online, everyone knows most of what I do. Some people don't understand why I share so much, but that's besides the point. Out of the blue today, someone told me they had something for me. My first reaction was to hope it was a) a gorgeous woman, b) a duffelbag full of cash, or c) a gorgeous woman holding a duffelbag full of cash. It was none of the above, but it was a cookies n' cream cupcake from Frostings and it appeared on my desk at work while I was teaching.

Here is why this is important. It was purchased by someone I've known since I first got here in Mississippi, however not someone I see often or really at all. We speak on Facebook or when we happen to be in the same company by happenstance. We've never really be particularly close, but always get along well enough. I work with her husband. She must have been up at or near Frostings and knows I'm a big fan of moist chocolate cake slathered in vanilla buttercream with crumbled Oreo pieces mixed in (honestly, who wouldn't be? Communists, I tell ya). It's not expensive - just a couple of bucks. And even though I'm sure this person was already standing at the counter for her own purposes and did very little to add my cupcake to her order, I feel she really went out of her way to think of me.

And there's the rub. In today's society and my particular section of it, when something so small and innocuous happens, my first thought is "what don't I know?" and that really sucks. Are we all so self absorbed that we don't think of anyone else, so when someone things of us we are mistrusting? Maybe there are some people left who do nice things for nice people for no real reason other than to just, simply, be nice. That is what happened today, for sure.

I guess I just hate that this such a rarity that a simple nice deed comes with cynicism. I hate that it's a big enough even to spawn a 1180 word blog post about it. At the same time, it's nice to be pleasantly surprised like this and have some faith in the thoughtfulness of people restored (before some bonehead chips away at it again).

Anyway, the cupcake was delicious and a wonderfully simple surprise that was very unexpected both in timing and by the individual. So... thanks Angela.

That baby is ugly

2011-05-17T13:34:00.000-05:00

Have you ever said that? I bet not. It doesn't matter what a baby looks like, you'll call it cute to its parents face. What about in metaphor? Ever sugar coat stuff or pull your punches instead of laying things out on the line? I bet you have. We all do. It is exhausting.

I can't quite figure out why we do it either. If someone asks our opinion, why don't we give it? Why do we give a false opinion to make them smile? If they knew we were full of shit, they probably wouldn't smile. It's a tough call. Some people claim they want to hear the truth but flip out when they do. Others lose their minds when they're lied to. I'm guilty of the same duality. I HATE being lied to, but the truth hurts. Even though both hurt, there's a difference. I can respect the person that tells the truth. Not the coward that lies and can't speak up.

I got to thinking about this because I know someone who has a baby that is NOT cute. I mean not at all. I avoid photos of this child like the plague. The parents, of course, think the baby is the most adorable thing. I'm a big fan of babies and generally love them and think they are adorable. This child, however... yikes. So what do I do? Do I open up like I say you should or do it fall victim to my own hypocrisy? I find a middle ground. I say nothing at all. I don't comment one way or the other. I want to, so badly, say what I think but why break a parent's heart. I'm nobody to them and would generally have to go out of my way to do it and that's just malicious. However, I will NOT lie. I understand that lying by omission is supposedly just as bad but I disagree. Withholding a hurtful truth is not as bad as telling a boldface lie. So that's my position.

I'm assuming the parents think the baby is cute as all parents do. It's subjective and blinded by love. I don't have a kid so I don't understand that unconditional love. I think if it was my baby I'd understand why tigers eat their young.

This child aside, do you ever call the baby ugly in life? I think we all should. Maybe we shouldn't call real babies ugly because of the detriment to the parents, but the metaphorical babies should. If a situation/action/behavior is fucked up we should say it. If one person does it, it'll leave that person alone and unpopular. If everyone does it, it'll become the norm and be ok.

Imagine that... friends, family, colleagues, acquaintances, neighbors, etc all being... ready for it? HONEST with each other. When someone acts like a jackass, people tell them. Then that person will stop acting like a jackass. Revolutionary concept.

A good friend tells me when I'm being a maniac. Bad friends support me blindly. I have both in my life. Some will always tell me I'm right and foster more lunacy. Dr. Jim, for example, is the first to tell me I'm out of my mind and shut me down. Sometimes that's what we need.

Before we can work on the words we say - honest or lies - we have to work on opening our mouths and saying ANYTHING to begin with. We usually avoid topics that are right in front of our faces.

More about elephants in the room another time though.

The way the media misconstrues things

2011-05-15T13:00:00.001-05:00

There is simply no truth in journalism anymore. Bloggers have ruined web news I think. Let's keep things straight however, when I say bloggers like that, I don't mean you and I who freewrite our feelings to the world. I'm talking about the journalist bloggers. The ones who are not journalists, but report stories. They have flooded the web with half truths. Legitimate journalists race to get stories out but are beaten to the punch by the web journalists. Fact finding is a joke. Sources are not credible and the one thing that should always be factual - quoting - is the most butchered part of the story. Web journalism has also given every writer the right to opine along with report. Once again, a personal blog that's based on opinion is one thing; slanted reporting of the news is quite another.

Today I was reading a column by the loony, lefty, liberals about an opinion toward the "Radical Right-Wing Agenda." They were picking Ron "Ross Perot Ears" Paul. According the tree huggers, Ron Paul does not support civil rights. Not what he said. They claim he wouldn't have voted for the civil rights bill in 1964. Only PART of what he said.

Here's the story... he admitted he would not have voted for the 1964 civil rights bill - AS IT WAS WRITTEN. He did not agree with the parts for property owners. He never said he doesn't support civil rights, hippies. Don't choke on your granola, or do. Whatever. All of the details are left out because the left-wingnuts are not big fans of logic and/or sense. They want to scream and yell and find things to get fired up over without thinking it through and providing a sound, rational conclusion. There is no discussing things with them. I even tried to ping some of the nature lovers about the topic and they just responded with "he doesn't support civil rights." I said, "did you hear the whole story?" and got back "I heard enough, he's anti-civil rights." That's closed minded and ridiculous.

It was said to him, "Honestly, Congressman, you were not for the '64 civil rights bill."
He responded, and here comes a quote, "Because of the property rights element, not because it got rid of the Jim Crow law."

See... he's for overruling Jim Crow, just as any sane person should be. Obviously, segregation is ridiculous and wrong. He's not arguing against that an iota. He had one problem with one part of the bill and wouldn't have voted for it under its exact verbiage. What a horrible man he is right? He wanted to make change to a bill, but all the flower-power nutballs hear is that this guy was for racism and segregation.

So what's this property stuff he disagreed with anyway? Private property owners should have the right to bar entry. And you know what? I agree. It's not a black/white thing. It's a person who is paying mortgage and insurance and everything else reserves the right to ban anyone inconsistent with his/her own views of the world. I have no problem with any particular race or religion. To each, their own right? However, should an owner of a Christian bookstore have the right to remove a Satanist form their store? Let's say the Satanist is open displaying his/her beliefs within the bookstore. I say yes. Who is paying those bills? The owner. And the owner should retain the right to do what's best for the business. End of story.

That doesn't mean an owner can say, "You're X race, get out." (where x is whatever race the owner doesn't like), but if an individual based on appearance, race, etc is detrimental to the PRIVATE business, then that's that.

I once fired a girl who worked for me in a video store. She was very.... natural. She didn't believe in the removal of hair from the female body. She would wear tank top shirts and skirts. She was also petite which meant there was a lot of reaching over her head to put movies back on the shelves. I was not a fan but I was also unaffected. I received several complaints from customers, some of whom were regulars and refused to return. I had a choice to make. She got fired for inappropriate/unprofessional appearance in the workplace. Did my customers overreact? I think so. However, they keep the lights on in the place with their money. She does not. I didn't own the place, but as a store manager I had to do what was right for the business. She was a good employee, did her job, was polite, etc. Politeness doesn't pay the bills, customers do. So, the customers won.

That's the point of all of this. I'm not a tremendous Ron Paul supporter, but I'm also not a fan of the media MISQUOTING to get a point across. Ron Paul had an opinion. The media told the world of it (in their own way that changed his entire opinion). I don't see how THAT is fair.

We need SOMEONE with some damn sense

2011-05-15T11:00:00.001-05:00

I am, apparently, incapable of staying quiet. I said I was going to do it on here and on Vig The Geek and other places, but I can't. I'm a big mouth. I have opinions. And in a world riddled with stupidity, ignorance, and people who like to twist words, I feel that my analysis of situations is a shining beacon of truth. Is that too grandiose of a description? Oh well... I don't particularly care.

So here's how this works. I'm going to post on MY blog. You can read it and love it - which I hope you will. You can read it and hate it - which makes no sense to me because I stay away from things I hate. You can just not read it at all if you don't like it - sounds like what makes sense. You can comment and provide intellectual feedback (positive or negative). We can get into discussion or debate all day long. You can even use your motivation or irritation at me to create your own blog and share your thoughts with the world. What you absolutely CANNOT do is read my posts and in a cowardly fashion anonymously vilify me. That's just not going to happen. I will either a) not even allow your comment to post or b) spend twice as much time eviscerating your in a literary fashion.

This is why I liked Myspace... just because of the name. It was MY space, not your space. You had your own space and I had mine. The meaning was terrific. Didn't like it? I didn't care. It was mine, not yours. But after years of posting status updates on Myspace and subsequently Facebook and articles on the web for news agencies, blog posts here, videos on YouTube, countless comments on forums, etc - I let the trolls get to me.

In my absence from posting I had an epiphany. Not a super bright, life changing epiphany, but one I should have already known and had a while ago. I couldn't give a shit less what people think. I write these because of the catharsis. I'm not paid, I'm not obligated. If you read them and agree, then great. If not, oh well. I like to write. I like word play. This gives me an opportunity and, just maybe, someone learns something in the process. Overall, this is for me, though, not you.

Now, because I let all the negative Nancys get to me and I shut down, I ended up with thoughts (that should have turned into posts) piling up. This means I'm going to have a lot to say in the not too distant future so be prepared to enjoy them or ignore them. Also, be prepared to be ignored if you come back with some snide, nasty remark.

I'll talk to you soon.

Breadth of hiatus expanded

2011-05-04T10:31:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I shut down operations on the Vig The Geek brand in all aspects. Vig The Geek was the technology advice and information part of JayVig Media. I stopped all research and production on new videos and canceled publishing on future written articles for my national gadgets and tech column with examiner.com. It was a simple economic decision measuring cost to value and ROI; neither of which proved fruitful.

I've been thinking a lot more about transparency. I've been living very transparently for the last couple of years online. My life is available on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn and others. You can buy digital shares of me like a stock on Empire Avenue. I measure my worth and reach on Klout. I'm in everybody's face in the technology sector and have made inroads and contacts in most of the major tech corporations around the globe as well as many, many startups. My Facebook page is not private and everything I do is on display. I firmly believed in having nothing to hide and increasing your social graph by sharing. The very nature of social networking and media requires sharing and less privacy. So I adopted that principle heavily. I figured I needed to if I expected those I consult with as businesses to follow suit. This mentality permeated and pervaded every part of my life.

Now that things aren't at their peak in my life, I need to make a change. To hell with the fact that blogging is cathartic and the wonderful comments I generally receive on my writing. The Tao of Vig is halting as well after today. I was raised to believe that honesty is the best policy; that we should be open and honest with how we feel and think. Bold face lies are no better or worse than misrepresenting oneself or lying by omission. The truth, whole truth and nothing but the truth, right? I didn't always subscribe to that policy while younger, like many teenagers I'm assuming. But now I do. I'm very open. People do not have to guess what I'm thinking or feeling - I'll tell them straight up every time. No sugar coating or punch pulling here. You ask a question, you get an answer. Unfortunately, that seems to create more distress in my life than anything else. I'm resistant to accepting that because I find it hard to believe that people want to be lied to just to have their egos stroked, but I guess that's human nature.

I'm not sure how I've become who I've become. Maybe I'm frustrated with myself for still working on a 4 year degree for 14 years. Maybe my paycheck makes me grumpy. Maybe I'm sick of being far away. Maybe I wanna strangle my ex-wife for her behavior - without her I never would have reenlisted and I wouldn't be stuck here totally fucking alone. All I know is that every time I open my mouth with an honest, unadulterated response, I'm met with shock and horror on the faces of people lately. I really think that America is so used to being placated that when someone doesn't automatically started holding hands and saying "it's all gonna be ok. you're super special" that people are taken aback.

I've made myself exposed and vulnerable via my blogs, articles, videos, and posts for years now. I've been jabbed at nearly every turn (excepting a few devout supporters). I'm tired of being judged for being me. You're you. I'm me. That's how it is.

Am I hiding? Sure, a little bit I am. Running away is not my style but I've overindulged in sharing for so long that now I'm overcorrecting for all of it until I can find a happy middle. Will I be back here? Of course. Maybe sooner rather than later. I suppose it's all dependent on the muse and then inspiration to write overcomes me.

In the meantime, I'm just going to live my life. If you're a part of it, you can continue to see it. For those that aren't, I'm not going on display.

The problem here is that I truly do believe in total transparency for people and businesses and it's against my nature to hide. Unfortunately, most other people don't share my passion for media and social involvement so whether I'm right or not in my views, in the meantime they won't work. Maybe in my absence society will catch up.

So....
JayVigMedia.com - on hold
VigTheGeek.com - closed
The Tao of Vig - temporarily suspended.
Facebook - active, but decidedly more private

Just another wallflower, for now, living my life, doing my thing quietly and privately. See you after a while.

Proof is in the logic

2011-05-02T09:54:00.000-05:00

So now that the fanfare has died down concerning the killing of Osama Bin Laden, everyone is using their Internet muscles to scream about wanting proof that it's him and not a doppleganger. Of course it's him. The government did DNA testing to verify that. Oh wait, you don't trust the government? Neither do it. You think they're idiots? Me too. However, let's assume that amongst all of them, even the simplest principles can be applied. Now let's weigh the pros and cons of lying and what his death really means.

As we know, Jihad is the struggle of Islam and in our case, refers to martyrdom for most of our enemies. So, the way I see it, there were a couple of ways for Osama Bin Laden to have died with a couple of results.

First, is that we found him in some subterranean shithole, dead, covered in his own shit with a low battery warning on his dialysis machine. Did he die for his cause? With pride? Is he a martyr? I'm gonna say the answer is a huge, resounding NO.

Second, we kill him. The infidel Americans take him out and he dies for his cause. He's a hero and a martyr and every Islamic nutball with an AK-47 and too much opium in his bloodstream wants to be just like him. He died for Jihad and is a hero to his people. This is what happened.

If we kill him, we reignite his cause. If he dies in a Pakistani cave, a lot of his cause dies with him. So... why lie? If anything, they should have killed him and said they found him, already dead.

Next, there are thousands and thousands of Americans with wide open wounds since 9/11, many of which will never heal entirely and some not at all. This is a little closure. Unless our government is not just inept, but purposeful about hurting citizens, why lie?

So if YOU were to see a body, could you determine it was him? If you saw a death certificate or the DNA results, YOU could verify them to be true? Our government makes mistakes at times (as does every individual person screaming for proof), but this is such a major event that means to much, I find it hard to believe that they'd lie or overlook simple details.

Will there be retaliation from Muslim extremists? I'd say so. Will someone take his place? I'd say so. Is the war over? Absolutely not. Some Americans, will lash out at Muslims because, let's face it, we've got some dummies. The war could escalate. Again, why lie?

He was not solely responsible for 9/11. He didn't even plan much of the operations of the event. He was the front man for Al Qaeda. He's a motivator to those people as well. He's the one that delivered messages of terror around the world. The bottom line is that he was the association to 9/11 and terrorism in the minds of many people. So is that why the government would fake his death? Well, then what's to stop him from appearing on TV, if he's still alive, which would strike more fear into the hearts of Americans.

If it's not true, why now? As someone very personally connected to 9/11 I can tell you that my joy last night was mitigated by the rush of negative emotions surrounding that day. Why bring up so much hurt and pain and awful memories at just about the midway point through the year, when we'll all go through it again on the anniversary this September? The 10th anniversary at that.

I suppose the bottom line is that nobody really knows and now the son of a bitch is at the bottom of the ocean, but is there really ANY sense whatsoever to lying or faking it? Can ANY good at all come of it? Use your heads and think it through. And by the way, just because the Internet allows it, it doesn't mean you have to speak every single thought to the world. Filter some of the nonsense. Realize that many Americana took much solace in the death of that man and all the conspiracy theories pulled just a little bit of joy away from the situation. Don't detract from it. Have your doubt, but don't spew it online. Many of us needed this.

So in reality, the only person causing heartache for Americans, is you. I think he's dead. I want to believe it. I have to believe it and logically speaking... I simply just believe it.

Case closed

2011-05-02T00:34:00.000-05:00

There's no way that you're in front of the computer reading this and have not heard about the death of Osama Bin Laden by now. Tonight comes with such mixed emotions. Believe me when I tell you that sadness is not one of them. I'm happy. I'm relieved. I'm empowered. I have a level of closure. I'm also upset as a flood of memories, images, and hurt engulf me as a result of one man's actions.

We can talk about what this means in terms of retaliation and political maneuvering. We can talk about the president's speech. We can talk about the length of time it took to accomplish this. We can talk about what the future holds for our military. I don't want to talk about any of that. Not now. I'm busy basking in the glory of all of this. Our country needed this.

I'm a good person and I'm not a fan of death whenever possible. I don't wish death on our enemies (unless we're standing toe to toe and it's me or them). Look at how they live. They are uninformed. They are brainwashed. They are doing what they believe is right for their people. I wish we could all just do our own thing, but that's not a possibility. Most of them have families like our military folks. That man, however, is the one person on Earth that I have wished death upon for nearly ten years.

My viewpoint aside, the timing of this in my life is remarkable. As everyone of my readers knows by now, I spent my life growing up, working, and playing in and around New York City. It's my backyard. It's where I feel most comfortable. My recent blog posts spoke about working there and that pen that was given to me. I spoke of how it went missing. Then I recounted the tale of finding it.

For months it was missing. During the hunt, I stumbled on a newspaper of an article that was done on me as a 9/11 survivor currently serving in the military, with the pen in plain sight. Then it was found within 30 minutes. That was Thursday. It is now Sunday night and we got the news that Osama Bin Laden has been killed.

I could have found the pen the week after it went missing, but I didn't. Maybe I wasn't supposed to. The pen that represents my past, present and future - who I was, who I am, and who I will become again - just happened to be found this last week, after being spotted in a 9/11 related article and right before we killed the evil responsible for the twists and turns of my life.

Is it a message? It could be. It seems likely that is. Life, or God, or the universe, or fate wanted my story to be told to me again. I needed to be reminded of where I came from. The reminder steeled my resolve to return there. But there was something missing. The place I was going home to was the same place I left behind. The same hurt was there. The same memories haunted those streets. Tonight, that chapter has been closed.

I was given a highlight reel of the events surrounding this situation. It almost seems as if I wanted to go home but couldn't and now I can. All the memories needed to be at the forefront in one week long assault on my emotions. Every tear that I shed this week was bittersweet, including those from tonight. I'm happy at the news, but upset due to how it has impacted my life. I am no longer tormented by it. I no longer wait with bated breath for the end. I can finally say, "it's over." Justice has been served.

The timing is uncanny and, frankly, freaks me out a little bit. How can so many things, interlaced so tightly, wrap up at the same time? The damage and heartache have not been undone tonight. Some wounds will never fully heal. However, the victory that was achieved by our country is a major step in finding a much needed inner peace and the memory of who I was, the finding of my pen, and the death of my enemy all at once tell me that it's time to truly move on, if for the first time.

If nothing else, I feel just a tiny bit more intact than I have in nearly a decade.

**This is not well written. It's not witty, it's not truly profound. It does not have the usual flow or flair for the dramatic. My mind is all over and my emotions are far from being controlled. It is what it is.**

Royal Pain in My Ass

2011-04-29T11:59:00.001-05:00

I have to say that I'm fortunate in that I pay very little attention to pop culture, especially in terms of romance. The only time I turn on network television with commercials is on Sunday evenings when I watch "Coming Home." Say what you will about the Lifetime network and me being less of a man for not blocking it in my home, but military reunions is my soft spot. That aside, I've been seeing ads for a movie called William & Kate, which I assumed was just the sappy side of Lifetime and totally fictional. About a week ago, I was told there was some major wedding happening across the pond.

Unfortunately, once my consciousness for this event was awakened, I saw stuff about it EVERYWHERE. From what I'm told, this is happening tonight or today or sometime in the next 24 hours. I'm also vaguely aware of the fact that he's a prince and she's a nobody. Is this news? Wasn't Princess Diana a commoner as well? I could be wrong, honestly.

So all the girls the world over are having their girly wedding moments as this gigantic occasion is kicking off. Even guys, and not just the questionable ones, are getting into this. Frankly, not only does this event not move me in an excited direction, but I'm actually waiting for it to be over. Wait... I do feel something... nope... it was just gas.

At last check, I did still live in America and we won the war and our independence from England. They are just 2 people. Ladies, you never had a shot with a prince so get over the heartbreak. This kid was born into the right family but hasn't accomplished much (yes, I've read up on him), although in 2005 he opened a shelter for homeless people. Yay Prince Bill!

I've seen people, Americans, setting alarm clocks to wake up and watch this. I've heard others try to convince the uninterested masses to pay attention. I've heard people say that we should all use this occasion to find happiness during times of despair. Tell that to the 50,000 tornado ravaged homes in the south without power who couldn't watch even if they wanted to. People find happiness every day, but because you can put a face to a famous name, the world is supposed to tune in? He's semi-important at the moment, she's a nobody. They're across an ocean and believe me... they couldn't give less of a shit about your wedding.

I was initially happy for this guy because he's in line for the throne. After his grandmother passes on, his dad will take over as King of people who eat a dessert called Spotted Dick. And when Charles, and his ears, finally relinquish the big red velvet chair, William takes center stage. So why was I happy he was getting married? Because hopefully that makes him happy and we need less cranky world leaders these days. Hopefully commoner Kate will do her princessly duties and keep Willy's willy in good spirits.

Then I thought further. World leader? He's a prince. Part of the monarchy, which does nothing more than wave their hands and cost their country shitloads on that really big house. They have no power, they don't really rule anymore. I think New Zealand should secede. Did you know that Queen Elizabeth II (the old lady, not the ship) is Queen of them too?

Here's what it all boils down to... a 29 year old kid who has accomplished almost nothing in life that is the heir to the heir of the Queen's throne, that has no real power or no real job decided to marry someone.

Yup, don't care and I'm not sure why anyone that eats fries, not chips, should either.

EDIT: I had totally forgotten to add in my real moral of the story. I spent so much time on the word play and making myself giggle by relating my emotions about the wedding to a fart that I missed out on the real message. As Americans, we are known for getting so wrapped up in silly pop culture and scandals. We always wanna know the details of the private life of people, that we ignore what really matters. Remember Anna Nicole Smith? We were so concerned with what killed her that we stayed glued to the TV pending results of an autopsy, how sick and demented is that. As it turns out, it was drugs. There's a surprise. They found everything in her system except Slim Fast.

Let's go back even more. Who remembers the big scandal that we couldn't get enough of on September 10, 2011? Anyone? It was Gary Condit, then Congressman, and his missing intern, Chandra Levy and whether or not they had an affair and he killed her. That was the big story, America. Our eye was not on the ball. The next day, we came under attack. Good use of our energy? I'd say it probably wasn't. Shortly after the attacks, rather than healing and repairing, some Americans decided to use their energy to claim that 9/11 was an inside job and a conspiracy created by our government. These conspiracy theories were propagated all over the news. Again... good use of our energies?

So, while we're watching the sensationalized wedding of foreigners, who our president has been striving to undercut our relationship with, and stuffing our faces full of comfort food; those who wish to do us harm have been planning (they never stopped in the first place). To make matters worse, they know we're not paying attention.

I honestly feel that we will never learn our lesson. America will always be selfish and live by the credo of "bigger, better, faster, more" while pretending we are interested in our health. We are the 300-pound person that orders a Big Mac and super size fries with a diet Coke to save on calories and still sues McDonald's when their cholesterol goes so high that they basically become a solid.

There's the moral of the story. It's not about fairy tale wedding of the prince and his bride, but our obsession with it all when there's so much here that needs work. By the way, did you know that William and Kate were, prior to marriage, related on BOTH his mother's side and her father's side and possibly through a third connection of ancestry? While distant, they are cousins in more than one branch of the family tree. Hopefully, they'll do the right thing and donate their child's extra, incestuous limbs to a commoner.

Order has been restored

2011-04-28T16:02:00.007-05:00

For the last two weeks, while I've been convalescing, Ty and I have been talking about doing a sweep of my apartment to hunt down my elusive, and very special, pen. Finally, today we got around to it. With me being laid up, looking under things and moving furniture was not an easy task. So Ty did the lifting and I did the looking.

We started in my bedroom where it was last seen. We looked under the dresser, under the armoir, in the closet and finally moved the entertainment center. We found nothing.

Next was a quick feel under the things in the hall closet, that haven't been moved but could have had a pen slid under them via a mischievous cat paw. We found nothing.

The office proved to be a daunting task with two computer desks, a futon and more than one set of shelves. We found nothing. In the process of combing the office, I looked in the closet and straightened up a bit. While doing so, I found two plastic bags, each containing a handful of newspapers. They were the multiple copies I bought when the the South Carolina paper "The Item" ran a story on me as a 9/11 World Trade Center survivor now serving in the military. The front page sports a three-quarter page color photo of me in old BDUs (the woodland green, black, brown camouflage for the civilian readers). Sure enough, in that photo, my pen is clearly visible. It's probably the only photo that shows it so clearly. It almost felt as though we were being taunted by it.

We took a time out from Pen Hunt 2011, as Ty was never fully aware of my actual 9/11 involvement. He read the article. We did some talking about it. We listened to some audio about that day. Then we went to have a cigarette and recover from the somber mood that topic had put us in. All the talk about that era of my life and the picture showing the pen made me think that much more about it, as that was the time during which the pen came into my life.

On the way in from our smoke we searched the living room. He moved, lifted and tilted couches. We rolled out my large, media cabinet that houses all of my movies. The TV came off the entertainment center and it got pulled out and tilted back so we could look under it. We found nothing.

Days ago the dishwasher was pulled out and today the fridge, which incidentally has wheels, was rolled out and tilted back. Under the fridge we found cat toys and some cheap Bic style pens. In terms of my pen, we found nothing.

The last room was next and it was the laundry room. I was beginning to feel disheartened. They say "it's always the last place you look" which is nonsensical because why would you keep looking for something after you found it? However, this was the last place TO look. There was a washer and a dryer. If it wasn't under there, it would be lost forever. We pulled the dryer out first and leaned it back. I found cat toys, cat hair, laser pointers and a sheath for a Pampered Chef knife. We put the dryer back down as we adjusted it further. Clumsily, I got back down onto my knee because the ups and downs had put my healing leg to the test and I didn't have much left.

He tilted the dryer back even further and as I turned my head, it happened. An unmistakable gleaming black and platinum pen stared back at me (along with several other items pilfered by the cats). I reached in, grabbed it, and clutched it tightly. As I pulled it back out I said, "that's it," but quietly enough that he didn't quite realize what had just happened. He thought it was similar and commented to that effect. I said, "No, this IS it!"

That was just more than I could bear. After all the talk about 9/11 and the associated loss less than an hour earlier and the recent talks about the pen and my former life, I was now holding the last remaining link (that I thought was gone forever) to a life I miss so dearly. All the hope I pour into this tiny, shiny, cylindrical object and motivation I get from it to remind myself that I've been there before and can get there again was right in front of me.

With my eyes welling up and my voice cracking, I eked out a "thank you." I've never understood sentimental attachment to inanimate objects until today. I've always known it wasn't about the pen, but about the association. And whether I ever found it again or not, I did live that life. I was that person. The pen shouldn't have mattered, but when it was in front of me today, it sure did.

I can't wait to slide it back into my uniform pocket and use it every single day as it makes the journey with me back to the place we both started together. I can't thank Ty enough for getting my ass up to find it without giving up hope. As he said to me afterwards, "The look on your face cannot be described in words."

I have a road ahead of me to get back to where I started and that road will require lots of paperwork along the way. I have the perfect pen with which to sign, check boxes, fill out and otherwise mark each sheet that comes my way. I'm still motivated, I'm still driven, I'm still counting the days until I'm home. I'm still not happiest until I'm there.

But now... I found my pen.

Glass houses?

2011-04-27T23:38:00.001-05:00

Unless you've been living under a rock (or busy throwing one at a glass house), you know that Donald Trump is an unofficial presidential hopeful in 2012. Lately, the Donald has been garnering lots of attention for preparing to tell Barack Obama "You're fired" and pissing off most of the country along the way. I get it. These guy shows up with his bad hair, not a lick of political experience and attacks the incumbent. Not a way to make friends.

I was ignoring most of this because it's typical political bullshit. Every election (and pretty much every day in between) is a giant smear campaign. Nobody gets elected on merit anymore. It's all about making "the other guy" look more incompetent, inept and generally like a lower class person. Politics are where the flaws meet the magnifying glass these days. Gone are the days of finding the right man for the job. It's always about the lesser of two evils. It's shame that we can't find the right person, but rather, the one who is not as bad.

I took notice today, however, when I saw people attacking Trump's character and credentials to be president over his financial woes in the past. It is true that bankruptcy was a part of Trump's life in 1991, 1992, 2004 and 2009, but let's keep things in perspective. Trump didn't buy a car he couldn't afford. He didn't run up $30,000 in unsecured credit card debt. He didn't file for personal bankruptcy because he can't manage his finances or balance a checkbook.

In each case, it was corporate bankruptcy and, further, Chapter 11 which provides immediate relief from oppressive debt and allows a company the opportunity to reorganize. This is different Chapter 7, under which the company ceases to operate. What does this mean? It means that in Trump's deals he accrued debt and used Chapter 11, created by the federal government, not Trump, to negotiate debt deals. He's not running a startup company that can be bootstrapped. These are super expensive real estate and land deals with high value investors.

So because we've associated the word bankruptcy with Donald Trump, he's unfit financially to run the country at one of it's peaks of national debt. Has anyone decided to finish the story and realize that after each of those filings, his companies not only survived, but did very well?

If a man can take something on the brink of extinction and successfully negotiate existing US laws (without being fraudulent like, say, WorldCom, Tyco, Global Crossing, Enron, Adelphia) and create opportunity, capital and success, then isn't he actually MORE fit to run the country while it's in financial straits?

I'm not saying I'd vote for Donald Trump for president. I'm not even saying you need to entertain the idea of voting for Donald Trump for president. All I'm saying is that you should spend more time promoting your guy and less time pulling down the other. If you have to be negative, maybe it's because your guy doesn't have any redeeming qualities of his own.

Maybe it's not about your guy at all. Maybe you don't like Trump - fair enough. I, frankly, couldn't care less what you feel about him. The fact remains that the average US household has almost $15,000 in credit card debt at 14.73% for a total of $2.4 trillion dollars in consumer debt. So, where exactly do you get off criticizing Donald Trump about owning these companies, using the laws as they are intended and making these companies even better?

I suppose the Trump thing is a vehicle for the real message. Tell the truth. Don't lie. Tell the whole truth. Don't leave parts out. Tell nothing but the truth. Don't add or fabricate where convenient. If the guy sucks, then let it be known, but don't skew facts to make your point. It undermines your credibility. It strengthens your opponent. Overall, you look like an idiot.

Turn back time

2011-04-26T01:01:00.004-05:00

Earlier today I sat on Ty's back porch and we both reflected about my recent blog post about drive and determination and how I refuse to be held down by anyone who doesn't share my vision for my life. Ty told me about the twists and turns in his life, some through no fault of his own and others that leave nobody else to blame. I recounted to him, the abridged version of how I came to be on his back porch on this day.

I started with the rundown of ups and downs in the late 90s and my inability to see past my own feet. I recovered professionally and excelled at every job I ever had, despite my inability to maintain that focus in the classroom of even my local community college. On we went to the days of the NYSE. I'll never forget walking up Broad Street and stopping across from the front of the New York Stock Exchange, flanked by 2 of my closest friends back then. We went from adolescents to adults together and there we stood in suits and ties as working professionals in the financial district of Manhattan staring at the ornate facade of the exchange. We didn't speak much but we didn't have to. What a long walk we had made from those teenagers we once were. I mentioned the collapse of buildings and the economy they brought down with them; and the collateral damage that was my fledgling career. Next was the odd jobs I held to pay the bills before I was sure to be restored to my place in corporate America. That day never came and I enlisted. These last 8 years have come with their own set of challenges but all were personal, none were professional. There's very little that is based on merit in the military. It's easy to show up and just do your job.

We spoke of finding ourselves and deciding what we want to be when we grow up. I can get a paycheck, that's not what worries me. I want to be the man I was destined to become and I think environment has a majority stake in the shape of that. Environment is geography, people, class, job, culture, and everything that creates the ecosystem in which each of us lives.

It's not dissimilar to my fish tank. I have a tank full of beautiful fish in my aquarium. They are all tropical community fish. They get along and thrive when the environment is perfect - water temperature, pH balance, food, oxygen, etc. There are other beautiful fish that thrive in their own environments, that may be vastly different. People love Betta fish (aka Siamese fighting fish), for example. Their native habitat is made up of puddles and rice paddies. Murky water that houses fish of fantastic and vibrant colors. You would think that if those fish can live in that, they can live in anything, but they would not flourish in my tropical community tank. My environment isn't made up of terrible people and the environment itself isn't awful. It's just not the one for me. I've always known this. Anyone who knows me has as well. I cannot flourish here.

It all started because we were talking about finding my pen, that is lost in this apartment. To everyone that borrows it, it's just a pen. It's an overpriced pen. It's another one of Jason Viglione's grandiose possessions that no normal person should own. Those are not people who have taken the time to understand why I clutch that pen so tightly. What they don't know is that inside that pen is not just ink, but a life once lived. Inside that pen lives perfectly tailored suits, the energy of the city, the feel of brisk winter winds through narrow downtown Manhattan streets, the smells of the multi-cultural cuisines peppered throughout the city, and the entire ecosystem that was my dream. With every stroke of that pen, memories of the life I was meant to lead and on my way toward doing so, spill out on the page.

I was given that pen as a gift by my employer, as was every new employee at the company, on the day of my arrival. I opened the single breasted jacket of my first suit and slipped the pen in the inside pocket. It cost a mere $150, the suit not the pen, and was bought for me by my dad before the interview. (As an aside, that man is about as modest as it gets. He's never bragged about his intellect, finances, accomplishments, fatherly vision or just the person he is; although given his outcomes of all, it would be well within his right to do so. Yet, it didn't take much for him to speak of his pride for me when I got that job). The moment the pen went into that pocket, the suit tripled in value. See... it's a beautifully crafted $300 Mont Blanc pen that is all black with highlights of platinum. It's a status of your value to this small, elite IT consulting company that keeps only the top financial companies as customers. My daily home in which I represented the company was, of course, the New York Stock Exchange.

It was the late 90s and Wall Street was riding high still, despite the dotcom implosion. Corporate IT was the new technological royalty. We were what was called "geek chic." Then came the infamous Tuesday morning one September and it all evaporated. By the time the dust settled in my life it was 2004 and I was in South Carolina as an Airman First Class in the US Air Force. My pen was with me, nestled in the pen pocket of my desert camouflage uniform that was issued to me. I'd complain about ironing my uniforms that were built by the lowest bidder because the seams didn't line up just right. It was a far cry from the Brooks Brothers suits taking up space in my closet, known in the military as a wall locker, most of which cost me in 2000, the same as I made in two weeks in 2004.

What a tumble I took. I've always felt that if I had worked just a little harder, been a little more focused, smoothed out the rough edges just a little more, then none of this would have happened. I'd be home with my family. I'd be doing what I love near the people I love. Sure, if none of this happened, I'd have lost out on some great experiences and excellent people. But that's a sacrifice I'd have made, given the choice, if it kept me at home with the most important people.

It's 1am in Mississippi, where I'm currently stationed. I'm recovering from my fourth leg surgery, induced by the strenuous workouts over so many years as required by the military. I'm not as well off financially as I could or should be had I stayed "up north" (as the southerners like to call it). I just missed Easter Sunday with my parents, my brother, my grandmother and some extended family. I'm divorced and I'm alone. I'm counting the days until my magnificent and triumphant return home. I'm unhappy.

And... I can't find my pen.

My approach

2011-04-24T04:29:00.001-05:00

I find that I'm often careful about what I say and do because I feel judged by many people around me. This causes me to act against what is in my inmost nature and is, therefore, difficult. I live a certain way. I have always lived this way. Surely, years ago, I was different but when you think about it... not truly. I was... more of me. I haven't changed but rather, toned down a bit. I was more stubborn, angrier, less yielding and less likely to own up to my mistakes. I'm still pretty sure of myself, bordering on arrogance, but leave room for doubt and sway. Maybe I leave less than the average person and maybe I'm more pragmatic than I should be, but this is who I am through and through.

I grew up with a tight knit, open, honest family and group of friends. My closest friends in the whole world have been with me for 20 years, some longer. In all those years, we've never had serious beefs or fallings out - aside from high school generated nonsense indicative of excessive hormones, finding our ways in the world and overall rites of passage.

Over the last 8 years, I've met many people. I've made and lost friends. It's always hard to let go of what you thought was an amazing friendship, but one change I've certainly made is that I no longer hold onto friends just for the sake of holding onto them. It is all about value added. I don't care if we've been friends for for 24 hours or 24 years... if we have nothing in common, see the world differently, want different things, approach things differently, and generally don't get along then there's nothing left to say. This seems to happen more often than not in my military world. For so many years, I thought my life was the norm - united, unbroken nuclear family, long standing friends, upper middle class, big home, dad worked, mom raised the kids and it was all steeped in heritage and tradition which intertwined amongst our family values, faith, and ethnic background. To put it simply, I'm a pasta eating, family loving, do anything for my friends, stop at nothing to do well in my life, Italian Catholic from New York. As it turns out, I'm the exception, not the rule. I can count on one hand, my friends who have parents that are still married. It takes less than that to pick out those who grew up the way I did financially and with opportunities afforded us. The unwavering parental support - despite my best attempts at self-sabotage - is nearly unique to my folks.

These traits seem to be passed on to my generation. The world at large has changed, leaving current relationships in a constant state of confusion and disarray, requiring management. I don't know if it is a function of time or location or background or both. I'm not sure how much of the nature vs nurture debate comes into play. The fact is that I'm different than a large percentage of those I'm surrounded by. Notice I didn't say better or worse... just different. It takes all types to make the world go 'round or different strokes for different folks - pick your cliche. The point is that I feel out of place.

I notice it more and more with each passing day. My dwindling patience is inversely proportional to my longing to be back with people like me. Maybe my home area is insular in that as worldly as I am in some ways, I'm sheltered in others.

I guess it all boils down to the fact that I'm tired of making excuses for the man I've become and I'm tired of being judged by people who don't know me to my core because I don't see eye to eye with them. There are certain people who have earned the right to sit me down, look me in the eye and tell me I'm being a dick. Dr. Jim is one of those people. He is my brother in every sense except DNA. Yet, he is the last person to do so. He accepts me as I am, for better or for worse. I suppose after 20 years of friendship, he knows what he signed up for and is ok with it.

There are days I love my job but it is not my career. It is not long term. I get great satisfaction from being part of something bigger than myself but I get greater satisfaction from being near the most important people in my life... despite how close you, the reader, may think we are; I can guarantee you that I'm closer with my mom, dad, brother, grandmother, etc. Going "home" to be with them lands me in an area intolerant of mistakes. There are more people than jobs, quite often, and a cost of living that requires people to strive at all moments. I took that for granted years ago and learned from my mistakes. One morning I was on top of the world. That afternoon, I was packing my desk. These things happen - once.

I won't be caught with my proverbial pants down again. I'm driven. I'm motivated. I'm focused. I want certain things for my life and not getting them is simply not an option - at least not through any fault of my own or lack of trying. This is why I work my full time military job and go to school and do my research, write my articles, do my videos, create content, interface with captains of industry and stay plugged in. I'm often looked down on by people as if I'm trying to be better than them. That is where they are wrong. Those people and their lives don't even rate. I'm trying to be better than me. Better than the me I was and better than the me I am. I'm trying to improve my circumstances, enlarge my territory and enable my life for more opportunities. Some say it's materialistic to want more money and stuff and maybe it is but in the USA in 2011, stuff is what it's about. I don't want money to have money (like I used to); I want money to do the things I love with the people I love doing them with. I want to ski with Alan, watch football with Mark, make wine with Dad, take vacations as a family. I want to have a large home with the nicest things that I'm proud of and I can have these wonderful folks in my in life visit and not be disgusted by squalor or be cramped. I want to see and enjoy the fruits of my labor.

I don't think that's too much to want. I don't want a free ticket. I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth. I have no trust fund. There was no dowry when I got married. My parents provided for me and they did it in abundance but rarely as a free ride. When my dad bought my car first car, it wasn't fancy. Our conversation looked at my finances and realized that teaching me a lesson by letting me buy my own came with a cost... safety. It was more important to him to buy me a car that would be safe without going over the top than to teach me the value of a dollar and let me struggle. Plus he'd be up worrying that I was stuck somewhere. When he bought my second car, it was a loan. I paid him back for it. In truth, he didn't buy it. He laid the money out and gave me an interest free loan. I had to budget my money and make payments, without helping the banks get rich in the process. When he paid for my school, it came with a clause on grades. As and Bs or I was to owe him reimbursement for my tuition. I worked for it. It wasn't a gift, it was my future.

I have expectations from my friends and those I keep company with. Not for them, but for us. I don't care if they rule the world or pick up trash for a living, truly I don't. But regardless of who signs their paychecks I have expectations for OUR interaction. They MUST accept me for who I am because that's the only person I can be. They must view our relationship as a partnership. I will not chase someone to be my friend. If you are important to me, I'll call you and I expect the same thing in return. I do not deliver unrequited love for my friends. I expect honesty. I expect to not be held accountable to my friends' standards because my life is my own.

You don't have to like what I do, who I am or how I approach things, but to be my friend you have to accept it. I don't change for people. I carefully weigh and measure every situation (a tactic learned after years of rash, impulsive decisions). I adapt and overcome as required. Something may look like a sound investment in my life and upon further examination or new information, that may change. That may conflict with your outlook. I'm sorry if it does. Until you're prepared to pay my bills and create a life for me (one that I want), your say will not sway me in a way I'm not willing to be swayed. Input is valued and will be internalized for its merits and implemented as it makes sense. If it doesn't make sense to me, then I appreciate your advice but respectfully pass on utilizing it.

If anyone ever, at any point, speaks negatively about my publicly, belittles who I am as a person, makes me feel to be of no value to them or creates situations in my life that make it more difficult, stressful or otherwise problematic, then we will, more than likely, part ways (accidents, unintentional situations or things beyond one's control notwithstanding). Life is hard enough as it is. In the past 10 years I've dealt with loss in more ways than most people deal with in a lifetime. Some is permanent, some is not - none is easy.

The bottom line is that I was on my way to being somebody and took a wrong turn and tumbled. When I lost family, job, finances, education and opportunity I also lost part of me. After a decade of struggle, therapy, medication, reflection and work I have found it again. My personal stock is on the rise. I know my value. I'm not a slouch. I'm far from unintelligent. I have the support of wonderful people. If you're a supporter, I welcome you. If you're a detractor, take a hike. If you don't like my attitude, I'm sorry but this is MY life. Not yours, not ours. I'm not perfect. I'm as flawed as anyone, in some ways more, but I'm accountable only to myself and those I choose to let influence me - if you don't share my last name or bloodline, chances are you aren't one of them, at least not entirely and certainly not in terms of my life plan.

You may help me with individual situations or introduce me to a new music or food. You may help fine tune parts of me, but the core of my being? It is not for sale or up for negotiation. It took me a long, damn time to realize my worth in the world and to not be afraid to be me and reach for the brass rings in life. Nobody has the right to undermine that work or erode the results.

So... where do you fit? That answer is unique to each reader. I will tell you one thing... if you don't like how I handle my business; cut me off, walk away, say goodbye. I won't fault you for it. I won't think less of you. I'll think we're different and that's ok. I'd hate all 6 billion+ people on Earth to be the same, anyway. What you are NOT permitted to do is to pass judgment on me publicly and to others. You cannot call me out or cryptically point out what you consider my flaws to be. You have yours. I have mine. Have your opinion of me, but don't dare tell the world that I'm wrong for living my life as I see fit.

At the end of the day, I know I'll be educated, successful and happy. I'll have the support and warmth of my friends and family. I'll have all the material possessions I'm interested in. I'll be financially sound. I'll never reach a goal because there is no goal. There is always room for more. You know why I'll do all that? Because I'm focused. Because I run MY race. Because with my blinders on I don't see the negativity, I'm unaffected by my detractors, I rise above the nonsense. You're not wrong if you're different, you just have no place near me.

One last time, your life is your own and I wish everyone well on their endeavors, whatever those may be. Mine are clear in my mind and in the map of my life and I choose to surround myself with people who work in concert with my plans, not in opposition to them. I apologize to anyone offended by any of this, as it is not my intention. I don't apologize for being me. It is working out pretty well for me overall right now and better than it ever has before.

My life is good and certainly on the way to getting even better. Join me or make way, but do not try to steer this train or block this path. It's not yours to block.

Things Change in a Year

2011-04-14T22:58:00.001-05:00

No matter how much we stomp our feet and scream, "I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys 'R' Us kid," we can't fight it. Growing up will happen. It's a necessary evil. Most times it happens without us knowing it. We wake up one day and realize this change has taken place. Hopefully not so much so that we keep our inner child locked away and become curmudgeons, but enough to help us adapt to the adult world around us and excel.

I'll be the first to tell you that I strive, and sometimes, struggle to maintain this balancing act. I'll work on developing myself as a professional and interact with CEOs of startup companies around the world all morning and spend the afternoon shooting the heads off zombies with a shotgun on the Xbox. I'll laugh and joke with my friends and then put on my "game face" when I hit the classroom and face my students. Even in the classroom, at times, I let my guard down and have just a hair more fun than I rightfully should with students. Balance is such a key facet to life.

There were a couple of instances, recently, that caused me to realize that this natural self-evolution has been happening over the last year. Last November I was given a promotion, of sorts. No more pay, no change in rank, but a positional raise. Rather than being a regular instructor, I was also made an "Instructor Supervisor" or IS. This means that in addition to teaching, I'm responsible for running the shift, which is comprised of roughly 110 students and 20 staff/faculty. This position is, by and large, reserved for people 1-2 pay grades above me and further seasoned by about 4-5 years.

Naturally, assuming this role was aggravating to me peers who felt that if I could do it, they should be able to as well. First of all, everyone can't lead. That's the point of being a leader - one person does it (or a small percentage, anyway). If everyone is leading, then nobody is leading. Secondly, not everyone is cut out for it in their nature. Lastly, the loudest complainers didn't even want my job. They just didn't want me to have it because they felt I snuck my way in. Yes, it was a private conversation between the big bosses and me. I was approached about it and agreed pretty much. I did nothing to sneakily secure this spot for myself. Frankly, I don't have the energy to be manipulative. It takes lots of time and I have enough to keep me busy.

One of my detractors actually asked me about it and I explained my position and particular methods/styles of leadership/management. Although he appeared satisfied by my answer, that I neither micromanage nor rule with an iron fist, it was lip service. He ran to MY boss, complaining about me and my qualifications; effectively questioning her judgment for selecting me. His line of reasoning was that when we last worked together, an entire year prior, I was not this motivated. I'd leave early if not busy. I'd joke around. I'd do the bare minimum. I was different. You're damn right I was. It was a year ago. Truth be told, there was truth to everything he said, albeit to much smaller levels than he claimed.

That was her response as well. Something to the effect of - first, I don't care what went on then. That was then, this is now. Is it possible he changed or grew up in a year? He's older, he's been through a divorce. Maybe his approach and/or goals have changed. Is that possible? He agreed it was possible.

Somewhere along the way, leadership decided to bring an IS to nights as a full time position so I could teach a larger class load. I'd enjoyed doing both but was insanely busy on a daily basis.

Last week or so, it reared its head again, however. It was, apparently, time for a practical joke at work with students. It was on a topic that we had been joking about amongst ourselves. So he stages his joke and involves the students. He did it in such a way that it s entirely disruptive. It created confusion and congestion in our halls. The students he involved are known for being unprofessional in their attitudes. This all took place on an evening that the full-time IS was home ill.

On a break he comments about his joke and asks me what I think. I replied that I wasn't amused. He doesn't understand how some things are funny to some people and others are not. The conversation ties up angrily as he calls me hypocritical for laughing about it amongst ourselves but not with students. I told him that the environment plays a part. He makes a face and that was, presumably, that.

I was mistaken. In my absence, he took up the cause of attempting to align others with him to garner support for his joke, which was truthfully not funny under any circumstances - I was annoyed it involved students, but it was really just a lame joke in the first place. As part of his recruitment pitch, he references a practical joke I played once and, again, mentions my hypocrisy. There a 2 defining differences. My joke was random where his was about a topic that had everyone already stressed, worried and upset - some things you just don't joke about with subordinates. The other difference was that mine was a year ago.

And now we are back to the fact that people change, or at least they should. Apparently, he has not. If that works for him, that's fantastic. But he holds others in lower esteem for being progressive with their lives. I did nothing in particular to mature a year's worth - I just lived another year. Other people specifically fight the natural personal evolution. As it turns out, these folks are left alone; and the must be exhausted trying to maintain in the process. I know one thing is for sure - people like that are the exception, not the rule and while being a child was carefree and fun, being an adult is full of opportunity that these people will miss out on, both personally and professionally.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Treatment has the word EAT in it

2011-04-10T13:41:00.000-05:00

The video above shows some horrible behavior and cruel treatment of animals. I'll admit it's hard to watch. It sucks that animals are treated this way. Keep in mind that I am a carnivore. I'm not against eating animals. Truthfully, I'm not even against these slaughterhouses. It sucks and I feel bad but I'm not on some crazy crusade to shut them down. PETA = People Eating Tasty Animals, doesn't it? I'm all for ethical treatment where applicable. People beat their pets and that's insane. I have cats that are like my children. I'm often equated to the male variant of the proverbial crazy cat lady.

So if this is horrible, yet I love meat; saddened by this, yet not opposed to it; why the hell am I here talking about it? Well, I'll tell you why.

People go on tirades about the disgusting behavior and treatment at slaughterhouses constantly and tell us that it isn't fair. I'd say that it isn't fun or funny, but not fair? I'm not a bible thumper and I don't preach, but I'm pretty sure it is said that God gave us dominion over the animals. As a matter of fact, Genesis 1:16 says specifically, "The God said, 'Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the Earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground'." People argue that it doesn't include terrible treatment.

Alright, we'll fast forward many, many years to 2011. Let's have free range farms and humane treatment. Is it ever humane to kill an animal? Nope, so that means we're all vegetarian. Let's say we'll do it in a way that's at least MORE humane. Who in the world is going to pay the prices that come with that? It takes more time, workers get paid more, they have less yield (meat, eggs, etc) and that non-savings gets passed onto the customer. If you want to take better care of the animals that are raised expressly for the purpose of being eaten, that's fine. However, if the prices to me in the store go up astronomically, I'm coming to you for subsidization.

How many people bitch and moan about the treatment of animals over a breakfast discussion with a bacon, egg and cheese omelette? They slaughtered a pic, over milked a cow and caged a hen for that breakfast, but it sure is tasty isn't it?

I guess watching this video let me see just how horrible it is and I certainly wasn't munching on sausage links while watching. However, I'm going to a barbecue in a little while and I'm gonna have a burger for sure. I think videos like this one create a level of hypocrisy. Anyone who has ever thought about a slaughterhouse, has to know it's not the nicest place in the world. It's a volume business and Americans do everything in large amounts of volume.

That being said, it wasn't a fun video to watch and had some real disturbing images in it. So my solution... watch less videos about it, eat just as much meat.

Doesn't say for WHICH people

2011-04-08T13:06:00.001-05:00

I recall some document somewhere that says something along the lines of by the people, for the people. Does that ring a bell for anyone else? Today there was confirmation that government services are shutting down. This is the beginning of what could be a systemic collapse and create a dangerous environment in this country. The IRS is shutting down, the Smithsonian is closing its doors and most importantly, the military stops getting paid. I don't care what your views are about the war, the military cannot stop getting paid. This is all coming from the fact that the assholes in Washington cannot agree on budget cuts to be made. Party lines and ideologies are creating an impasse and our president has said there will be no more stopgap measures taken.

I love my country. I chose to serve it and put my life on the line for it and today I'm ashamed. I'm embarrassed. I'm disgusted. I'm let down. My country failed me. It's not about the money. It's not about the actual dollars. It's the reason why. It's how this came to be. It's the greed, the unyielding attitudes, regardless of the cost. It is pure shortsightedness and blind pride that creates this scenario. And yet, it is the uniformed servicemembers that are left holding Herman.

What about the people who are deployed? Do you think I have NO friends in a down range location getting mortared at the moment and doing it for free? Risking leaving behind a family as a volunteer. I'm one of the first in my building and the last to leave. I don't do it FOR the money but I sure as shit would not do it for free. There is so much pride in what I do, but pride doesn't keep the lights on. Apparently it does for congress because they'll keep getting paid through all of this.

I have an enlistment contract. If I stop showing up, I'm AWOL (Absent WithOut Leave) and I'm violation of that contract. Breach, if you will, and could be removed from duty. If they stop paying me, are they in breach. Can I quit? They don't have to hold up their end of the bargain. And believe me when I say they're getting a bargain. For almost a decade they've had my service and paid me a hair above the poverty line and well below my worth. I've missed births, deaths, weddings, holidays and more. I've grown apart from some and purely lost others. I did it for my country. I did it because I made a difference in the world. At no point has the military cared about MY world. I accepted that because I volunteered. I was compensated with love and pride and benefits and education and experience. The day our leaders care so little about us as to not even pay us the measly droppings they say we are worth is the day I lost the love and pride. As for the education, I can imagine the money the military pays for my school will dry up for now as well. I have the experience. Try as you may, Congress, you cannot take that from me.

I have my pride. My pride to hold my head up and do my job, for free, in the face of adversity.

You know why? When I enlisted I took an OATH. I VOWED to defend this country from all enemies both foreign and domestic. Congress, you may not take that vow seriously, but I do. I'll do my job 110% all day, every day, just like I always have, but know this - I'll only do it while I'm beholden to you. Today, you gave me a new mission... to ensure my own personal freedom and safety and that begins in a world where I can move and change and get promoted on my own merit. And it begins the day you release me from my vows. Until then... if you need me... I'll be the guy in uniform risking it all for you.

Opening day annoyances

2011-03-31T12:51:00.000-05:00

It's opening day in baseball and I'm a NY Yankees fan and so begins the half of the year that I spend defending myself and my beloved Yankees. The attacks have already started, preemptively, and slightly more lighthearted in nature but they'll be in full swing. Before that happens, I'm going to break it down for you. If you're a NOT a Yankees fan, read this so you'll understand. If you are, give this to someone who is not so that they may be enlightened.

Year after year people (Yankees haters) criticize the Yankees and say they suck. We remind them that the Bronx Bombers have won 27 World Series and they when they do suck, they're just tired from winning so much. Then they throw at us, that the Yankees don't win championships, they buy them. Here's where the conversation gets hot.

None of the Yankees' championships have been earned. They have all be stolen by the riches of Steinbrenners. I understand that NY has an unfair advantage over Milwaukee with its demographic. New York has more people and amore affluence than most other locations. This means they can charge more for ticket prices and at the concessions and have their own TV channel (YES Network) and people will pay. The revenue turns into higher salaries for players or more big name players. That's the breaks. We can't help that New York has more people living in it. I'm sorry that Kansas City is not a bustling metropolis spawned from turn of the century immigration, but it's not. More people = more money and New York just has it.

As for how that money is spent, let's address why we have the big names in NY. So if you have limitless funds or nearly limitless funds; you just won a $200 million PowerBall lottery... will the next car dealership you walk into be a Kia? You've been given an insane amount of funding for your new company, are you going to hire high school dropout and ex-convicts?

I'm pretty sure I've said, at least once before, the business of business is business. The business of sports is business... and winning (not in a Charlie Sheen way). If I have a team and the money to win, I'm going to make sure that happens. By the way, the money isn't buying the championship. The money is buying the talent to win the championship. League officials are not paid off to call the World Series in the Yankees favor (not any more than any other major league sports corruption anyway). I would hire the best people for the job in any industry and that's what happens in baseball with the Yankees. Are we here to lose?

If you think this is unfair, you may be right. But where is the onus? The MLBPA and the MLB have not instituted a salary cap. So, for now, the Yankees are playing the hand they are dealt. They have more money due to location and they use that to their advantage. That's smart business. So if you have a beef with the Yankees and the hight priced player, save it. Call the players' association and talk about leveling the playing field with a salary cap.

I'm just done hearing complaints that a team keeps winning when they are playing by the rules and doing well at it.

The Year of the Vig

2011-03-28T13:50:00.001-05:00

Right before the start of 2011, I had a lot of good things happening. I was in the beginning of a relationship, new position at work, solid bunch of friends, and a decent bit of cash. It was supposed to be the year of the Vig, as far as I was concerned. Since 2001, every year had some soft of upheaval from 9/11 to my enlistment and deployments; even a divorce. So, 2011 was going to be my year. By the end of February, things had changed. First the relationship tanked. Shortly thereafter, management decided to make a change and I was ousted from my new position - realistically, they needed someone to do the job full time which I couldn't do along with teaching. Either way, it was a new and exciting opportunity that fell apart. The first few months of 2011 have been a roller coaster ride with more ups and downs than the closing price of the Dow Jones index.

Relationships come and go and those that revolve around insanity, fluctuations, and an overall inability to act like an adult leave not so distraught. Any breakup is a loss or, at least, an adjustment. So I adjusted. I still had enough going for me. That's when the job shit hit me. Once again, I understand the reasoning and it truly does make sense at the end of the day, but it's still something else that was taken away.

Lately, the friend thing has taken a hit as well. I haven't lost friends, but it seems that the instant switch from Mississippi cold to heat has short circuited the brains of some people. I just feel drama around lots of people. And it's not just with me and my friends. It's with some friends and other friends. It's between totally separate groups of people that I overhear at work and other places. I don't get it.

Why don't people just let others be? If you don't like someone, ignore them. Why start shit? If someone at work isn't pulling their weight (by your standards), tough. Pick up the slack. Maybe it sucks now, but you'll go places and they won't. If your friend has more money than you, use it at motivation to make more or do more or be progressive about your life. I wanna be 10 again where we rode our bikes, knocked on a door and asked Jimmy's mom if he could come out and play. If he could, great; if not, we knocked on a different door. There was no judgment back then. We all live our lives under a microscope and I feel it's because the people who we CHOOSE to call our friends are constantly holding us accountable for doing (or not doing) what THEY want.

So, despite the curve balls (which are only a little league kinda curve) that life has thrown me so far in 2011, I've made a decision. This year IS the year of the Vig. I don't care about any other drama. I'm pumping out tons of content five websites on a weekly basis or more. My cash flow is well in the positive direction. I'm gaining lots of traction with companies about social media and tech projects.

I don't need drama and refuse to accept it into my life. I live MY life. I'm single, I'm alone. I do what I need to do to be fiscally sound, progress in my life (school, business), and be happy. If you want to join me, I'd love to have you along for the ride. We'll have a few beers, many laughs, take some pictures for posterity and enjoy our time. If you don't, ok then - do your thing. Run your race.

I'm going to work my ass off at my full-time job, keep plugging away at school, provide informational/entertaining content across all my endeavors and spend time with people who are simple. If you're judgmental about how I live, go away. If you create drama, go away. If you have a hard time just meeting up for a good time, go away. Oh... yeah... If you're a megaphone mouth that has to tell the world everything you hear and don't know the definitions of - secret, tact, confidence, go away. If none of that sounds like you and you're a dependable, trustworthy, and affable individual who adds positive to value to my life, call me immediately.

This is not directed at someone in particular; not even in a subdued kinda way. I'm not being cryptic. I'm just saying, I'm getting refocused - this time on me and what my life needs. In 2 years, it will undergo a huge change and I want to be as prepared as possible and most of that comes from the mental standpoint. I also want to enjoy my life along the way.

So this year, 2011, is absolutely, 100%, indubitably, the year of the Vig. Maybe not for you, but you're not me in the first place, are you? Good things will happen for me, because I will make it so. Hopefully, good people will join me in the process.

Good luck

2011-03-24T10:54:00.001-05:00

I recall recently talking about luck. I said that there is no luck. Luck is merely recognizing opportunity. I was thinking about luck a little further this morning. See... this morning I took a test that will, in part, determine if I get promoted in the Air Force. Naturally, everyone chimed in this morning via text, email, social networking, etc to wish me luck.

First of all, I do very much appreciate the well wishes and votes of confidence. In no way, do I mean to detract from the intent there. My thoughts are about language usage as a culture. It seems that saying "good luck" to someone before a test, event, etc is silly and, in some ways, offensive. Again, the way it has come to be used, it is nothing but good wishes, but the literal verbiage seems away from the intent.

When someone is going to test or perform or be in a sporting event, it would seem that they are there because of their skills. They will do well due to preparation, practice and ability. Wishing someone luck, by definition, implies that doing well is not within the realm of control. We should say "you'll do well" or, simply, "do well." I think I'll start that trend in my life. When someone asks me, "aren't you going to wish me luck?" I'll say, "No. you studied so do well. I won't wish for an intangible force to guide you because I believe you have the ability to complete this on your own." Maybe I'll be less verbose, but you get the idea.

I guess the current connotation of words is more important than the dictionary definition. For example, it doesn't matter what the dictionary says, nobody is running around proclaiming "I'm gay" when they are simply in a good mood. I guess that is what happens when a word is used over and over again. It becomes colloquial.

So maybe I'm being too literal, but it was something that crossed my mind. Maybe if I had less thoughts like this there would be more room for the stuff I studied so I wouldn't need the luck in the first place. Maybe I'm fried from my test and rambling.

Just Say It

2011-03-23T13:28:00.000-05:00

Why do so many people have a hard time just opening their mouths and spitting out the words they have to say to another person? I'll never understand this. Communication amongst people sucks. This why we have so many damn problems. Nobody talks anymore. If you've got a beef, just say it.

I think very few people out there go out of their way to hurt people they know. Most times it's a misunderstanding or the person hurt is collateral damage. So if you're pissed at me, it's one of the following:

You misunderstood what I said and I wasn't being hurtful at all.
It's something I feel personally deeply about but it's not aimed at you.
I did a poor job of saying it the way I meant it and gave you the wrong idea.
The medium of choice (email, text, internet) left out inflection, tone and body language so there's no way the message was gonna get across.
It was overheard and, therefore, out of context.
Finally, we are out of regular touch so there's no way you can possible know exactly what I'm thinking.

Notice that NONE of the above are about being hurtful. So, if you know me, you didn't need to read the above. I go out of my way to be there for friends, 100% of the time. If you think differently, then you haven't been paying attention.

That being said, why in the world would someone decide I did something that pissed them off when we haven't spoken in a month or more, use that opportunity to digitally cut me out of their life (when we haven't spoken in a month or more), and then tell everyone "he pissed me off." Nobody cares. Nobody understands. Nobody even thinks it's realistic since they know that it's hard to piss off someone you don't see or talk to or interact with in any way.

If it was true, why not say "Dude, that was a prick move on your part." Give me a chance to explain or at least know why you feel that way. Don't be a sneak about it. Don't run off and not tell the person then bow up in front of mutual friends like you did something. Asinine behavior. Beer muscles is what it was.

Now, before you come back at me and mention my last 2 blogs that were cryptic in the same way I'm complaining about. Here's the difference, as I see it:

I wasn't talking so much about individuals specifically as much as i was in general about the way to do things. It was allegorical.
I don't have a beef with the people I referenced in the most recent blog. Not a huge fan of individual scenarios, but I love the folks nonetheless.
Part of the topic was that people choose sides and walk away, leaving little recourse to share your thoughts even if you wanted to.

The funny part is that 2 blogs ago was about 2 people. One of them was linked to the situation in the last blog and is part of today's. Just goes to show that one person can do lots of damage when acting inappropriately, immaturely and irrationally.

This wasn't supposed to be about the situation. This was supposed to be about my lack of understanding as to why people cannot communicate. It's the most important thing in the world.

Be Your Own Person

2011-03-19T15:11:00.000-05:00

I may sometimes be labeled as stubborn, bull-headed, rigid, unyielding, or mulish. I like to think of myself as determined, strong-minded, tenacious, or strong-willed. Either way, the point is that I don't easily let go of how I feel about something. I also, generally, feel deeply one way or the other about it. I rarely waffle or float in the middle. Frankly, I'm less of a fan of centrists than I am leftists (politically speaking). Naturally, I like when people agree with me - we all do. It makes life easier when people agree with something we believe in strongly.

If people are not going to agree with me deeply, I prefer them to disagree sharply. Why? Because I respect people who take a stand and are not easily influenced. I really have a hard time dealing with someone who is like a feather in a current of air being pushed around any little breeze. Be an adult, "man up" as they say, and make a decision. Feel something. Decide something. Be your own person.

That also holds true when it comes to feeling toward a friend. Yes, this rant was going somewhere all along and now that the stage is set, we can truly begin. No matter what your two dopey friends tell you; the relationship is not going to last and when they break up, things are gonna be awkward. It's going to leave you in the middle. Sorry, but that's what happens. It is an unfortunate and unnecessary responsibility for you to bear the weight of, but that's what we call collateral damage. So, make a decision.

You will either:

Choose one side
Choose the other side
Make an effort to remain neutral.

Remaining neutral requires more work than anything else. You'd think it would require less but nothing could be further from the truth. You would think that you just do nothing at all and there you go. Wrong-o pal! You have to manage both relationships.

Realistically, that's the right thing to do. It sucks, I get it. It's not fair, roger that. But it's the right thing to do. The right thing often is the hardest. There's that climb to the high road.

In MY life, that doesn't happen. I'm second fiddle. I knew it would happen. I felt the shift. I caught the chilly tingle of an inadvertent cold shoulder. Then I realized that it was over. It was complete. That's fine. It happens. Luckily for me, I don't put all my eggs in one loosely constructed friendship basket. So I don't end up alone.

My problem isn't that people go a different direction in life. My problem isn't even that people's directions conflicts with mine. That's what makes the world go 'round. My beef is quiet simply that some people don't choose to go a different direction. They are influenced by others. My problem is that certain friends have excluded me from certain things at the behest of another individual. Since when do we, as adults, allow ourselves to be enslaved in our decision making processes? It is especially annoying because the decision maker is not a spouse or anyone other than friend. This friend was just as close as I was. Yet, here I am low on the priority scale.

And just to make sure we have some icing on this cake, when I run into the friends that I no longer see, due to this wacky person's requests, they pretend none of it is happening. They laden the conversation with "I miss you" and "we need to hang out" and "it's been so long since we all hung out," when in reality, they've had every opportunity and chose not to use it because someone else told them so. Treating me like a fool who doesn't know that it is happening is the cherry on top of the icing.

So, here's the deal. Are you ready?

Be an adult and see your friends regardless if whether their ex-partner/friend/etc says not to
If you have to drop anyone, drop the one trying to make you choose
If you're ridiculous enough to do neither of the above, come out with it and say
Finally, never under any circumstances add insult to injury by pretending the one you cut out doesn't see/feel it happening.

I'm sure this will change nothing in my present situation and most people will not heed it and prevent it in their own lives in the future. That's just the way it goes. People who get pushed around, just get pushed around.

As for the one doing the pushing... if you read this, you're a spineless individual as well. Pushing around people that allow it doesn't make you anything more than a manipulative, puppeteer, but we knew this about you already, didn't we?

Trusting my instincts

2011-03-17T01:34:00.001-05:00

Twice in the past two days people showed their true colors and confirmed my initial suspicions about how they conduct business. I've always prided myself on being a good judge of character and my ability to read people. Lately, however, I feel I've lost that edge and I have accepted the bill of sale handed me by others about people. I should trust my instincts.

One individual is a guy I met about a year and a half ago. I had a feeling about this guy from from the get-go. Something about him told me that he was not a person of outstanding character. He was included in a group of people I spent time with and was vouched for by all of them. Reluctantly, I accepted him with full credibility. I figured I was misreading this person if everyone else could stand behind his judgment. Over time, I had sneaking suspicions that I may have been right, but without confirmation. Again I was told that I'm reading into it and to let it go. Then there was some blatantly inappropriate behavior that indirectly affected me on the personal side. He was out of my inner loop immediately. Then there was a professional issue which made me collateral damage to his inability to do what is right, have integrity, or show any semblance of a work ethic. He was out of my professional loop. As it turns out, a slew of information about choices he's made have come to light. I had him pegged from minute one. I should have stuck to my guns. He was exactly the person I thought him to be - only he took it to a whole other level of sneakiness.

I forgive a lot of people their indiscretions for two reasons. The first is that if it doesn't affect me, I'm in no place to judge. The other is that, those who know me a long time can attest to the fact that I've made my share of mistakes and then some. One thing I can't seem to overlook is when someone is a sneak. It violates my trust to the core for that person about everything. I knew it.

The other one is actually much worse. I knew a female who was a decent friend and fun whenever we had beers. Seemed attractive and sweet but there was something else that I wasn't sure about. She seemed very rigid in some ways. Her way or no way. All or none. Jump through her hoops or she wants no part. When things took a turn and we got closer as friends with a hint of romanticism, I backed away sharply. I was told over and over again by mutual friends that it's a defensive posture she sets up for herself but she's not that way. I was convinced to dig in my heels and get passed it and I'd see. I bought this load of nonsense hook, line and sinker. We dated casually. We grew closer. All of a sudden she went VFR direct from a sweet girl in my life to an overreacting maniac to which there was no reasoning. After the fact, some folks on the outskirts of the group of friends told me they saw this coming. The inner circle was agape.

If there was to be no romance, there would be time for the dust to settle and back to square one as friends. I was for it. I even stayed in basic contact with members of her family to the point that there was a long exchange with a member of her nuclear family during which I received an apology for being on the receiving side of her irrational reactions along with an explanation for the catalyst and a recommendation for going forward should we try for round two - neither of which I'll divulge out of respect for the promise I made that day.

So what happened? I checked in with her while she was in recovery from a procedure. Barely got a response. I know what you're thinking and I'll tell you that I knew she wanted no contact from a bunch of people and was getting daily updates from the person that she kept close. I approached her only after I was told that the coast was clear and she was up to being in touch again. Then things of mine she had and was due to give me the next time we hung out appeared on my desk at work. Then her and her family disappeared from Facebook. So, no friends at all. This has now created an awkward situation considering the mutual friends are still friends with both of us and, clearly, hanging out like nothing happened would be an issue.

During the brief stint while things were terrific, it was my job to provide near hourly assurance that if the bottom fell out, I would always be there and we would go back to how it was and not worse. Promises were made, promises were not kept. I know how it goes. You're friends, you date, you want to be friends again - in reality, you never are. It changes. "It doesn't have to. We won't let it." So I agreed and assured her for my part. Here we stand today. Not together, not friends, not even well enough to peacefully coexist on a social networking site with 500 million others. And to think that when she pleaded to return a minor amount of cash to me I laid out for some things, I refused because we're closer and better friends than that. I didn't get an explanation.

I knew that she wasn't someone who prepared to alter her life even an iota for someone she claimed wasn't important. I knew she was independent enough to want her way constantly and react adversely the moment she didn't get it. I saw all this coming. But in a moment of goofy guy weakness I fell for the wiles of a pretty girl. My inner ability to read people being the angel on one shoulder and my friends saying "it'll be fine, go for it" the devil on the other. Should have stuck to my instincts yet again.

The other thing I can't tolerate in addition to sneakiness, is hypocrisy. I don't expect people to do what I want or meet my expectations and I'm fully aware that, as a human, my expectations may be self-serving at times and slightly unreasonable. This is where our confidants put us in check as the voice of reason. That aside I have one expectation from people - do what you say you will. I don't expect you to call me at a certain time or come over on a particular day. But if YOU say, "Dude, I'll be at your house at 3pm sharp on Saturday" and when I call at 3:15pm to see what happend and you say, "oh I changed my mind" I'm gonna be pissed you couldn't pick up the phone like an adult and let me know. Even worse is the disappearing act. You don't have to help me out with a, b, or c, but if you promise you will, then show up and do it. YOU said you'd do it, not me. Can't do one thing and say another. Can't bitch about your weight while spitting Arby's curly fries all over me. Can't complain about how the next door neighbor gossips as part of a story you overheard through the fence from their backyard. It's one or it's the other.

To my friends who try to sway me and sell me on someone I'm a little stand-offish about... don't. It's my time to trust my gut again. It has always been a point of pride that I could read people and I've let my guard down. Maybe I'm out of the city too long. Maybe I need to be back in the corporate world to find my appropriate level of cynicism. Does jadedness fade? I understand you are trying to help but your misguided attempts make you more like The Great Gazoo of my life.

I'm sure neither one of these people will read this, nor will anyone else that can make the connection. For all I know, I'm talking to myself half the time, which is kind of a shame. I'd LOVE for either one to address this like adults. Even if they see it, they wouldn't because I have them dead to rights on how they conduct themselves. All could have been avoided if I just listened to myself.

People or animals?

2011-03-13T13:11:00.001-05:00

So I got roped into some stupid survey online as I was procrastinating this morning. At one point I came across a question and it's possible answers that read:

Which is worse; starving children or abused animals?

Starving children
Abused animals
Neither, both are good
Neither, both are equally bad

There was immediately one choice available for me. First of all, let's go ahead and discount the "both are good" answer since that's just inane. I cannot imagine anyone also saying that abused animals are worse than starving children either, so we'll count that one out. This still leaves 2 answers. It still seems like an open and shut case, but for some reason I'm surprised at the answer I saw other people choose. And since I never learn my lesson when it comes to dealing with people online, I'm surprised that I'm surprised. Realistically, I should have seen this coming.

The answer that surprised me was "neither, both are equally bad." How can this be? One is an animal and the other is a human being. Just to be 100% sure we are clear here - I'm a pet owner. I have nothing against animals. I'm often made fun of for how I treat my little furry friends like people and my children. I love them dearly. At no point do they actually equal people though - ever.

We have a limited about of resources (be it time or money) and that should not be split down the middle for children and animals. Remember, animals were wild creatures that we'd eat until we, as humans, chose to domesticate them and keep them as pets. They don't work or pay the rent. They don't provide meaningful conversation. They depend on us because we made it so. Children depend on us because they are incapable or sustaining themselves, they are our offspring, and our species rears its children.

I'm not saying we should all take classes on how to make extra cash by Michael Vick. I'm not even saying you should stop helping prevent animal cruelty or abuse. But in what world is an animal and a child worth the same? If there's a starving a child and an abused animal side by side and you have enough time or money to help only one... would you really have to stop and wonder which way to go?

Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm not sensitive enough to certain things. I don't know. The only thing I do know is that a PERSON will always hold more importance than an animal to me.