Monday, December 05, 2011

See you soon

It's such a short and sweet saying. One filled with short term disappointment, but long term hope and something to look forward to. It's better than goodbye. When soon is defined (in my case 16 days), it should be easy. Knowing I'll see her soon, makes it bearable to een let her leave. Knowing that I have a mere 2 weeks of work before I'm home to my friends, my family and my Linda for Christmas is so much easier to swallow than 2 months, for example.

However, this morning I took her to the airport after a long weekend that was one of the best I can ever remember. We had so much fun, we're identical and, quite simply, perfect for each other. Whether we were people watching in New Orleans, drinking beer while watching the Jets game, curled up watching (and falling asleep to) a movie or having a spontaneous, pretend boxing match in the living room, it was all smiles and laughs. At one point, she caught a giggle fit that seems nearly uncontrollable and persisted for several minutes (spurred on by nothing, I might add).

Two weeks may not be a lot of time and it'll fly by. It's a blink in the scheme of things and will ne a non-entity in retrospect. My logic tells me to not really care about something so short. Plus any negativity associated with saying "see you soon" is simply because the weekend was so positive and awesome. That should be the focus. It should anyway.

But this morning when I hugged and kissed Linda goodbye and told her I'd see her soon, it felt awful. I wanted soon to mean "after work." I wanted soon to mean when she got home from shopping. I didn't want soon to be a euphemism for goodbye. And it's not goodbye, we know that. It's see you soon, but after the last few days I spent with her, soon is not soon enough. We spent every minute of the weekend together, excepting bathroom breaks, and it didn't feel like enough.

I've had other relationships. My friends have made it abundantly clear we all know I've even had other Lindas. It's always exciting and fun in the beginning. For me though, it's NEVER been so effortless and frictionless. It's never been without a little hiccup. It's never been impossible to find something we don't have in common. It's never been so perfect.

So, this time, saying see you soon, feels like an eternity. I know I'll be criticized by some and there's a contingent of people that look for opportunities to use my words to emasculate me. I've had my ups and downs and we all wait for that opportunity to arrive where soon is never soon enough. Mine is about to land in Houston airport, headed away from me and all I can do is convince myself that 16 days is soon.

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