Friday, October 28, 2011

Ellen Degeneres pissed me off

I had HBO on and an Ellen Degeneres stand up special came on. She led with a statement that it was hard for her to want to do a stand up special and it is emotional because of the tough journey since she made the decision to come out. Quite frankly, I had long since forgotten she is gay. I don't care that she's gay, just as I wouldn't care if she was straight. If she, and others like her, feel like they are under a microscope for being gay, QUIT BRINGING IT UP.

If I was a stand-up comedian or in the spotlight for any reason and opened with a statement that I'm straight, nobody would care. OK, people haven't always felt that way about homosexuals. And when it was particularly bad, homosexuals would stay closeted. As time marches on, less and less people care about the sexual orientation of others. I'm not gay. I don't want to be gay. I don't want to be hit on by someone who is gay because that's not my way. However I don't give a shit if you're heterosexual, homosexual, transsexual, asexual, pansexual or any other kind of sexual is out there.

All people (of different gender, race, creed, sexual orientation, national origin etc) want is to be accepted. They just wan to be exist. Bottom line is that not EVERYONE is going to accept you for you so stop highlighting the issue that separates you. In some cases, you're creating one. In some cases, you're actually alerting people to what makes you different and drawing the line in the sand yourself. Everyone knew about Ellen Degeneres. You came out. Congratulations. It was hard and a big deal... THEN. Now it's over.

When she said it, my first thought was, here we go. You're unfunny in the first place so you're going to win people over with this shit. Nobody cares. Then it got worse. She actually opened with that statement and then said this, "I knew that some people would want me to talk about it, some people would maybe not want me to talk about it and I went back and forth trying to decide - should I talk about it, should I not talk about it - and ultimately I decided - no, I don't want to talk about it." WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU JUST DID?

So now the entire audience is reminded and proud of you for coming out again. Those that agree are just smitted by your resolve to stay in show business. Those that disagree aren't offended enough because you played to them by saying you're not going to talk about it because some may not want you to.

You're a woman who likes women. Who cares? It's not like you're the first. You're certainly not the last. Just be yourself. If you're a comic, be funny. Don't draw sympathy. It's pretty pathetic. If you're not a comedian, still... just be you. The world doesn't need to know your business.

She said one more line before I bailed out. "It's been talked about enough." Apparently not because you keep bringing it up. And then I turned it off. She's not particularly funny in the first place and the "hey world look at me because I'm gay and came out." routine is an extreme turn off. Whatever your orientation is, it's YOURS. Leave us alone. I'm for gay rights, but gay pride is getting a little obnoxious now. If I held a straight parade I'd get crucified. But that's a topic for another day.

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