Sunday, July 24, 2011

Save the plants, eat the animals

I spent some time on the horn with Dr. Jim yesterday. It's good times because we wax intellectual about all the ridiculous things we can come up with. The evolution of our conversations make little to no sense to us, let alone an outsider. At some point yesterday we found ourselves talking about eating meat vs. vegetarianism and the merits of being kinder to our furry friends. I'm a carnivore, let's set that record straight. My vegetable intake is limited at best.

Recently I read a comment somewhere on the web that said, "Hey vegetarians, plants are living creatures too. They're just easier to catch." This spurred a deep ponderation between the Doc and I about whether we may all have it backwards. Maybe we should NOT eat vegetables at all. Maybe they are the highly evolved chosen creatures of whatever higher power/deity you give credit to.

In order for this theory to hold water, we have to consider whether plants have a soul. Many people would say no, but I ask you, "why?" Or more importantly, "why not?" People will tell you it's because they have no brain or cognizance. Ok, that's science. But since when did science and faith ever match up? More often than not, they work in opposition. You look to the sky and tell your version of the bearded man in the clouds that plants cannot have a soul because they have no brain. The weatherman will tell you there's a good chance of lightning strikes in your area. So let's say it's just as likely that they have a soul as we do.

Back to science. A tree can outlive a human by hundreds of years. That doesn't make us look chosen. People may tell you about the complexity of the human being and our bodies. Let's consider the concept of efficiency. A plant can sustain life with the few parts it has, yet it takes so much more to keep us going. Our bodies are far from efficient, given the comparison. Think about these simple organisms that keep going and reproduce without complication. That's pretty impressive.

Finally, think about our relationship with plants. They give off oxygen. Something we need to survive. We don't give off anything they need to survive. We rely on them to live, they could care less about us. And in terms of the oxygen they give off, it's a waste product for them. We simply cannot continue to exist without the shit of the plant world.

So vegetarians, your eating habits are waging war on our single most important source of life and vitality. Other than food, what has a cow done for you lately? Who wants to go out for a burger?

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