Wednesday, June 08, 2011

Weiner's Wiener

Guess what everybody? A politician had an affair. The end.

Ok, I'll keep going. So Weiner had some 26 year old send pictures, messages, etc into ABC about the year affair she had with Democrat Anthony Weiner. He admitted that it was him and that he was wrong. Do you believe him? There were a reported total of six different women over three years. This was not a one-time mistake. Before we attack his character, let's turn to the citizens of New York (that's who he represents, in case the only thing you knew about him is that he shows his pecker to people he shouldn't). Anyway, New Yorkers? Has Weiner served you well? That just sounds funny. Seriously, has he done a good job keeping you satisfied? No really... has this man done his job? If so, then who cares what he does in his marriage? Maybe you can't trust a word he says.

And this is not partisan because both sides of the coin are full of hypocrisy. Republicans scream and yell about morals and family. Then they knock up the maid or do "The Larry Craig Shuffle" and tap their feet in a men's room in a morse code pattern that apparently means "nice ass."

The Democrats are no better. They're busy spitting granola all over the place in an effort to say leave us alone and let us love whoever we want, however we want - even if it's the tree we live in. Weiner was a democrat.

The Republicans are in favor of Capitalism and big business and don't want to over-regulate things except who can marry who, who can get an abortion, and every personal detail of what they consider right and wrong (tap, tap, tap-tap-tap, tap-tap just means do you have spare toilet paper?).

The Democrats yell at the government and say, "you can't tell us who to love," but come running back and say "give us welfare, we need help. please almighty government take care of the masses."

See? It's all nonsense.

I guess I could give a shit less what these people do in their private lives. I watch actors/actresses because I like movies. I don't care how many third world countries Angelina Jolie goes to so she can dust off another baby and take it home. I watch sports because I like to see grown men beating the shit out of one another and it's a great reason to drink more beer. Don't care if they have unique ways of playing with their pets. I vote for politicians because they enact laws in concert with my beliefs. I don't care what they do. I don't even care if their beliefs are the same as mine. I care that they will fight for my beliefs. I'm in the military. You think I wholeheartedly agree with every military maneuver completed since I joined? I don't have to believe in every second of every minute of every day, but I'll serve like I do. That's my job.

So if Anthony Weiner wasn't getting any and decided to get some in ways he shouldn't have, but... the state of New York is in better shape, then so be it. Maybe a little action is good for the guy. Maybe he does a better job. His no name next door neighbor has probably been banging the babysitter and the wife is sleeping with the Tennis pro at the club. You don't know about it so you don't care? Does that make it right? No. It just makes it their personal life. Those people probably show up to work every day and do an outstanding job because ONE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE OTHER.

So to Weiner, and his wiener, I hope it was worth it and I'm sorry the scandal is, more than likely, gonna get you fired. The real shame is that we left Europe to escape persecution and control only to come here and continue to be uptight, prudes. Nothing really changed. We just have better technology now.

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