Wednesday, June 01, 2011

Pets = Family

So it's come to my attention that people think I'm ridiculous about my cats. I shouldn't post status updates about them or pictures. When I call them adorable and say that I love them, it's ridiculous and gay. One person may actually believe that I'm gay because of it. Grow up.

Speaking of growing up, I never had pets as a kid. My brother and I had allergies. Mark's were much, much worse. We had fish and he had a turtle. Never cats and dogs. When my ex-wife moved down to SC she had 3 cats and I said "no way." I was not for it. Did not want any cats. So she found homes for 2 of them. The last one was a little skittish and not very friendly and nobody would take him. So she had to bring him. As it turns out, he was cute and very, very funny with all the stupid cat things he'd do. I grew to really like him.

Then we moved to Mississippi and wanted someone for him to play with. So we got Shadow. She was a little kitten and lots of fun. Linda's cat was a few years old and she had him a while. I never saw him from a little kitten. It was like a stepkid. When we got shadow, it was like my own. So when Linda left, I told her she couldn't take Shadow with her. I had 3 requirements that she had to leave behind - her ring, Shadow, and my last name. We named Shadow what we did because she follows me everywhere. She's my shadow.

After Linda left, Shadow was a mess. She's wake up in the middle of the night on my chest doing that crying meow. They don't speak, but they can try to get a point across. She was upset. Her mom and brother left one day and never came back. When I would be upset about the separation, she'd get maternal and climb on me and lick my hands like she was trying to care for me. I know they don't understand what you say when you talk to them and they certainly can't verbalize a response, but I came home to an empty house every day and having another living, breathing creature in the house was comforting.

Immediately, I went to the animal shelter and picked up Herbie. Shadow needed someone to hang around with and her mood improved after about 2 days of sniffing Herbie's ass to determine how she felt about him. Now they're best friends. She takes care of him and mothers him all the time too.

Some months went by and I was in PetSmart. I saw Benny. He had a brother and they were little and cute but I was not about to get 2 more cats. That's insanity. But, I had to go back in the store later that day and sure enough, someone was walking out with his brother right then and there. When I went to the back to see Benny, he was all alone and clearly miserable. I couldn't leave him like that. So I took him home with me.

I have 3 cats. It's a lot. I love Benny boy but I honestly wouldn't have gotten a third one if I could go back and do it all over again. Now that I do have them, I'm also not sorry. People cry when pets die. Movies are made about pets. They are family. You love them and they love you back. I understand it's not traditional for men to have cats and I know people call me the male version of the crazy cat lady that dies alone with 900 cats.

I'm a single guy in an apartment. I leave all day and come and go randomly. I work long hours. Having a dog is not really sensible. The place isn't that big. Dogs can be noisy. The apartment complex only allows for small dogs (which would make me just as gay in the minds of the morons). Most importantly, dogs require structure. So many friends of mine have to go home at certain times to take care of their dogs. That's not for me. So I have cats.

They're playful and loving and keep me company. They things they do make me laugh. Everyone that comes over, loves them because they're friendly to everyone and just want to be pet and played with. As a matter of fact, the night I was in PetSmart I was with a buddy. He and I were gushing over the cuteness of Benny when some tough looking dude walked by. We both straightened right up and stopped. This guy asks, "What they got in there? Dogs or cats?" We said that they were all cats and mostly kittens. So he walks up and looks. Now keep in mind that this guy is tough looking thug kinda guy and the minute he saw Benny, he started to tap on the glass and talk to Benny in a baby voice. Is he gay? His wife and kid were in tow. Maybe he's just not a heartless bastard and can appreciate the cuteness of a baby animal the way people do with kids.

I don't have kids. I no long even have a wife. In 9 days, I was supposed to have a gigantic wedding celebration with my no ex-wife (we did the civil thing and this was gonna be the religious thing and reception). All of that is gone now. It's just me and the cats. No wife, no kids, no roommates. So you can call me gay or think it's ridiculous.

Pets are family for so many people. For me and my situation and how my pet ownership evolved... cats are for me. I enjoy them and give them a good home. They are spoiled brats, to be honest. I am NOT the crazy cat lady. For one, I'm not a woman. Two, I'm not going to die alone. Three, I'm not getting more. Two was enough, but I couldn't resist Benny. So that's where I stand.

Think whatever you want, but I'd personally prefer you spent less time thinking about me being ridiculous and especially gay and went on with your own lives. My cats are my kids, just like 99% of pet owners out there.


Anonymous said...

Your Not gay..that I can definitely vouch for. ;)

Jason said...

Now this time I'd definitely like to know who anonymous is. If you're shy, email me your name. ;)