Saturday, June 25, 2011

Learn how to argue

With the NY Senate passing the bill to allow gay marriage just last night, it's been a hot topic today. The latest viral campaign has been on Facebook with a post that goes as follow.
So let me get this STRAIGHT. ..Kelsey Grammer can end a 15yr marriage by phone, Larry King is on divorce #9, Britney Spears had a 55hr marriage, Jesse James & Tiger Woods, while married, were having sex with EVERYONE, 53% of Americans get divorced and 30-60% cheat on their spouses. Yet, same-sex marriage is going to destroy the institution of marriage? Really? Re-post if you find this ironic! 
Before I go any further, let me take a minute to clear the air. I do NOT support gay marriage. This is my personal opinion. This has been ingrained in my through my years growing up in a Catholic church and my conservative Republican ideologies that have formed as I became an adult. I'm not here to argue the merits of gay marriage or about being gay at all. I'm just on another kick about word usage and context. However, my own personal lean and feelings will probably be evident throughout my explanation. If you don't like it, I understand and you are more than welcome to close your browser or start your own blog. This, however, is not the forum for discussion about it. It is MY personal blog which contains my personal thoughts and opinions. As a reminder, my beef at the moment is with the post itself and not the topic.

So these celebrities did some outlandish things. That's what celebrities do. Whether it's marriage related or their salaries, they are not the average person. They are certainly not representative of the whole. Since when do we, in science, use the smallest percentage as a reference point for the majority. Do we do that in democracy too? How about in match? Do we use the mean (average) or median (middle) or do we look at the most extreme boundaries? Even the most extreme candidates for office, within their respective parties, rarely get the vote. It's the centrists that people gravitate towards. Large percentages and middle ground is the fat part of the bell curve where most people reside on any topic.

So using the celebrity facts is nonsensical. I mean when you think about it, the author of this post used Britney Spears as a reference. This is the same woman who drives with her kid on her lap, shows the world her vagina and then shaves her head. Clearly not the average middle American.

The point is that these people who wreck the institution of marriage are not representative of the institution of marriage. They are whacked out cases. The institution of marriage is just as intact as it always ways. It still stands for the same thing. Whether people honor that or not is their own personal business but the constructs, the sanctity of marriage still exists, as it is an ideal and not a tangible thing. It certainly is not tied to the actions of a few individuals.

This post that's floating around is also predicated on the fact that gay people will not get divorced. Who is to say that the current 53% divorce rate (if that's even accurate) is not added to by gay people. Maybe it'll go up markedly for all we know. Maybe it'll go down and it won't be due to the better gay people and it'll be done simply because by the numbers there are more marriages so each divorce impacts the percentage less meaning it appears to go down. In that case, numbers can go up but percentage will not go up and may, in fact, go down.

So will the institution of marriage be destroyed? Possibly. That depends on how you define it. Is it the union of two people in love? Then probably not. Two people who are united regardless of how they feel? Definitely won't wreck it. Do you define it as the union of a man and a woman? Then yes, gay marriage destroys the institution of marriage. So it's all about context and definition.

As always, I don't take issue with what people say as much as I do with how they say it. That post is ignorant and nonsensical. It does not help prove anyone's case. However, it is emotionally charged and, therefore, will be followed and restated by the moronic masses.

I don't wish divorce on people. It's messy and expensive and it sucks - I know, I've been through it. But I'm curious to see what happens when gay marriage gets passed and just as many gay marriages are ending as straight marriages. Then what have we done? We've cluttered the divorce courts and broken up more homes. People are people regardless of their sexual orientation. Gay couples will fight about money and infidelity just like straight couples. Are they entitled to lose half their shit like the rest of us? Fine, go for it. I surrender. I don't agree with it, but go ahead and be as miserable as we are if you feel the need.

My parents have been married almost 40 years. They had ups and downs and they're still together. I know lots of people who are. From their generation I know more together than apart. From mine, it's the opposite. So maybe it's a cultural thing. The bigger, better, faster, more, I want it now, instant gratification generation in the United States that causes divorce. It's what causes people to make snap decisions about both getting married and leaving the marriage. Guess what? Gay folks are part of the same generation.

Let's see if you call out the gay celebrities for their horrible behavior too when it starts happening.

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