Wednesday, May 04, 2011

Breadth of hiatus expanded

Yesterday I shut down operations on the Vig The Geek brand in all aspects. Vig The Geek was the technology advice and information part of JayVig Media. I stopped all research and production on new videos and canceled publishing on future written articles for my national gadgets and tech column with examiner.com. It was a simple economic decision measuring cost to value and ROI; neither of which proved fruitful.

I've been thinking a lot more about transparency. I've been living very transparently for the last couple of years online. My life is available on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn and others. You can buy digital shares of me like a stock on Empire Avenue. I measure my worth and reach on Klout. I'm in everybody's face in the technology sector and have made inroads and contacts in most of the major tech corporations around the globe as well as many, many startups. My Facebook page is not private and everything I do is on display. I firmly believed in having nothing to hide and increasing your social graph by sharing. The very nature of social networking and media requires sharing and less privacy. So I adopted that principle heavily. I figured I needed to if I expected those I consult with as businesses to follow suit. This mentality permeated and pervaded every part of my life.

Now that things aren't at their peak in my life, I need to make a change. To hell with the fact that blogging is cathartic and the wonderful comments I generally receive on my writing. The Tao of Vig is halting as well after today. I was raised to believe that honesty is the best policy; that we should be open and honest with how we feel and think. Bold face lies are no better or worse than misrepresenting oneself or lying by omission. The truth, whole truth and nothing but the truth, right? I didn't always subscribe to that policy while younger, like many teenagers I'm assuming. But now I do. I'm very open. People do not have to guess what I'm thinking or feeling - I'll tell them straight up every time. No sugar coating or punch pulling here. You ask a question, you get an answer. Unfortunately, that seems to create more distress in my life than anything else. I'm resistant to accepting that because I find it hard to believe that people want to be lied to just to have their egos stroked, but I guess that's human nature.

I'm not sure how I've become who I've become. Maybe I'm frustrated with myself for still working on a 4 year degree for 14 years. Maybe my paycheck makes me grumpy. Maybe I'm sick of being far away. Maybe I wanna strangle my ex-wife for her behavior - without her I never would have reenlisted and I wouldn't be stuck here totally fucking alone. All I know is that every time I open my mouth with an honest, unadulterated response, I'm met with shock and horror on the faces of people lately. I really think that America is so used to being placated that when someone doesn't automatically started holding hands and saying "it's all gonna be ok. you're super special" that people are taken aback.

I've made myself exposed and vulnerable via my blogs, articles, videos, and posts for years now. I've been jabbed at nearly every turn (excepting a few devout supporters). I'm tired of being judged for being me. You're you. I'm me. That's how it is.

Am I hiding? Sure, a little bit I am. Running away is not my style but I've overindulged in sharing for so long that now I'm overcorrecting for all of it until I can find a happy middle. Will I be back here? Of course. Maybe sooner rather than later. I suppose it's all dependent on the muse and then inspiration to write overcomes me.

In the meantime, I'm just going to live my life. If you're a part of it, you can continue to see it. For those that aren't, I'm not going on display.

The problem here is that I truly do believe in total transparency for people and businesses and it's against my nature to hide. Unfortunately, most other people don't share my passion for media and social involvement so whether I'm right or not in my views, in the meantime they won't work. Maybe in my absence society will catch up.

So....
JayVigMedia.com - on hold
VigTheGeek.com - closed
The Tao of Vig - temporarily suspended.
Facebook - active, but decidedly more private

Just another wallflower, for now, living my life, doing my thing quietly and privately. See you after a while.

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