Sunday, January 09, 2011

Can't start already

It's January 9th. Nine lousy days into the new year and I've already managed to complain about things. It's too early to be down in the dumps. Some people may say that there's only one way to go when you're feeling down, but I don't want to be down to go up. I want to be up and stay there. I want to feel good. I don't even think that I feel down because the things that happened in the last nine days are truly so awful. I think it is because I had such high hopes and I entered the new year with everything I wanted surrounding me. The speed at which things changed left me reeling. Plus it wasn't very clear cut, was it? Ups and downs and lots of unsure moments.

It wasn't until less than 48 hours ago that things were decided for sure. Granted, the decision was not what I was hoping for and did not restore me to the euphoric mood I was in as 2011 swooped in, but it was a decision nonetheless. Limbo is the worst place for me to be. I can handle good news or bad news, but dangling in the middle is just torturous for me. I don't like the decision. I think it sucks and I don't agree with it. However, "ours is not to make reply, ours is not to reason why, ours is but to do or die." Sometimes we have no choice but go along with it.

It's January 9th. I'm healthy, I love my job, my Jets won the first playoff game last night, I have some of the most wonderful family and friends a guy could hope for. Life could be worse. In no time at all (in the scheme of things) this wound will scab over and no longer sting. Eventually it'll scar, not like some of the major catastrophes in life, but it'll leave a mark anyway.

The point is that it'll all be fine. It sucks now but I have 356 more days in 2011. That is a long way to go and I'll be damned if I'm gonna set the tone for the whole year by starting off miserable. I've lost but I'll recover. As has been said before - "Life's challenges only strengthen me."

So this year I have a list of priorities and things to do that are productive and helpful.
1 - My job - that I absolutely love
2 - Work on that college degree (I'll be within 3-4 classes by the end of 2011)
3 - articles and videos
4 -
5 - Bringing back to life

That is where my focus will be. Romance... maybe one day, but for now I have enough that needs to get done, not to mention all the other silly pipe dreams that'll pop into my head and distract me. I think this year will be MY year and that means no sharing for a while. Focused, driven, directed energy and purposeful decisions. I'll keep you posted.

1 comment:

Tommy W. said...

That and you've got some crazy guy coming from SC to see you in February.