Friday, January 07, 2011

5 days of cliches

I recently wrote about potential and shortly thereafter about learning to fish. Both of those revolved around a single situation. The post about learning to fish was nonsensical. It was early worry on my part. It resolved itself nearly by the time the post went live. The post about potential, however, really had something to it. There was SO much of that potential there. Not dissimilar to when that first ray of light breaks through the clouds on an overcast day and suddenly the rest bursts through right behind it, we had our overcast day followed by sunshine. Maybe we were counting our chickens before they hatched.

I had planned to take a short trip to New Jersey for Christmas, but as luck would have it a dumping of snow precluded my on time departure. This created a gap in time from when I was supposed to be home and when I actually got home, leaving no smiles in Mississippi but worry and waiting and anxiety. When I arrived on Thursday evening I was met with an ear to ear grin, a hug that nearly squeezed the breath out of me and a request to pinch her just to verify I was actually there. By the next afternoon, she was sure I as in the flesh and we realized that the rules of tags and names and titles were stupid. We missed each other, we were happy, we should legitimately be together. And so we were - starting the new year off together happier than either of us have been in quite some time. We, effectively, put all of our eggs in one proverbial basket.

We spent all weekend together, making plans for events from dinners with friends to a ridiculous trip to the Kentucky Derby. Hugs, kisses, laughs, fun, jokes, smiles and genuine messages of happiness and contentment sent through the eyes were par for the course all weekend. Even actual exchanges of reassurance that this was all ok with both had been whispered throughout the weekend. As they say, it takes two to tango.

Monday arrived and something was clearly amiss. I chalked it up to a long weekend that was quickly finding its way to a conclusion and the return to the daily grind. Maybe the stressors of getting back into a routine played a part as well and promptly dismissed any issue, backed by evidence that "we" were well, as shown by overt affection and genuine happiness. We were in, what we were calling, "our bubble." The outside world did not matter while we were in our bubble. Our bubble was so exclusive that it was, briefly, to the detriment of the feelings of our friends. But we were new and excited and even spoke about how we liked our bubble and knew it would end, despite how badly we wished it wouldn't. However, we would make every effort to hang onto our bubble as long as we could.

Then some things happened, as things often do. Reality struck. We were dating or seeing each other and then suddenly we were together. We were a couple in a relationship, complete with pet names and a near 96 hour streak in each other's company. The suddenness was swiftly followed by a feeling of entrapment and panic, which, in turn, created a fight or flight reaction. She chose flight.

I now sit before you in limbo. We are somewhere between something and nothing. I'm hoping to land on the former when the Yo-Yo action slows down. What needs to be decided is when things will get back to normal, but more importantly, IF things will get back to normal.

So there is my current iteration of the ebb and flow of relationships; the yin and yang of happiness and heartbreak. There is my tale of 5 days of cliches.

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