Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Overseas Cheese

As I mentioned not long ago I'm preparing to depart the good ol' US of A for roughly 60 days to head what us military folks affectionately refer to as "the sandbox." I was thinking about using this opportunity that is free from distractions of real life to get into better shape than I'm currently in. without the ability to sit on the couch and do nothing all day but surf the web and think up nutty stuff to talk to you guys about I just might be more active. Hand in hand with that activity level is nutrition and meals and healthy diet.

Of course, that really has very little to do with why we're here today. During those thoughts, my brain did what it does and went careening of the edge of reality into uncharted territory. I started to think about these meals and then for some reason or another I thought about cheese - stick with me.

Let's say I'm eating something that's got American Cheese on it. I have to wonder if it's really American cheese. What makes American cheese actually American Cheese. Is it a type of cheese we eat in America or a cheese that's manufactured in America? If geography of manufacture is the sole defining characteristic then, by definition, all cheese made here would be American Cheese including Cheddar, mozzarella and everything else. On that note, there would be no Swiss cheese from this country.

So we can postulate that to define American cheese is to consider the manner in which it's made regardless of the locale. This still worries me because if the "American Cheese" I eat over there is a local product then it can't, in fact, be American Cheese. See, to be created over there it has to be done according to Halal which is the proper slaughtering procedures of Muslims. If you make cheese differently, then it's not the same. We all know that the age of Cheddar cheese affects its sharpness to the process is important.

I suppose the only option left would be true American cheese that's made in America which is probably the most likely option. Anyone who has ever eaten government cheese knows that when you heat it, it just gets warm and shiny and never really melts. That kind of fake cheese can only be developed by the US government unless Halal processing causes the non melting issue.

The important question is how do you define American cheese in the first place? From there I can begin to figure out if it is American cheese that I'm eating while there. You all know that I'll be deeply considering this during the 30+ hours of travel to get there... along with periodic pondering of the humble existence of the American bumblebee.

1 comment:

JerseyMutt said...

Mmmmm...gubment cheese.