Thursday, April 24, 2008

Balance

is the key to life. Can't be all brains and no brawn. Can't be all work and no play. Can't be all balls and no cock. Know what I mean.

Things come and go. The universe provides. The secret tells us that. Expect a blog on that soon, by the way.

Amidst adversity it is easy to fall into an emotional sinkhole and give up on lots of stuff and be very blah. But you can't. If you do, then you don't allow new things to come into your life. And maybe not even new things. Maybe just new iterations of old things. There is no luck. There is only opportunity. Luck is merely recognizing opportunity. Are you lucky to find $20 on the ground or did you just recognize the opportunity to pick $20 up off the ground? See what I mean?

Where is the coming from? Hey... glad ya asked. I'll tell you why.

I've been stressed as hell. You all know that. Many of you commented on my mood status over the past few days. There was a large social upheaval in my live (it had been about 6 months so I'm supposing I was due). New friends, old friends - coming and going. Arguments, he said/she said, lies, misunderstandings, sides were chosen at times, at others they were just thought to be. Who knows what happened actually? Probably nobody. The end result was major fallout and bodies strewn all over the place. This led to undue stress that the ol' ticker can do without.

Well effective this morning, many of the precipitating factors were removed. What a relief!

I went to the store and found my favorite energy drink (that many places don't carry) and pounded that sonofabitch. Subsequently, I was bouncing off the walls all day long.

We started the work day slowly (Internet was out) and then went for a good lunch. Giff brought his peanut out which always makes me smile and we had a bunch of laughs. Then the afternoon I got some work done which actually gets me going and gives me energy. Boredom is a killer. I even got involved with the other half of my office in some of the things they do.

Well.... take some chemically induced energy, add a renewed sense of lightheartedneses and then throw in 2 counts of work based prosperity and what do you have? A friggin lunatic, that's what you have.

So I decided that I was going to work with these folks to create and rebuild (with them, of course) their entire program. It will be 100x more comprehensive and exhaustive, ironclad on the results and more streamlined than a concord jet. Mike is ready to strangle me because my ideas will cause a fuckton of work (which is about 4.97 times more than a shitload. it's science, don't argue).

But I'm excited. We'll be busy as hell but when it's done... man is that motherfucker gonna shine. I'm ready to take it on. Hell, I feel like I can take on the world at the moment.

I haven't felt this terrific in a long long time. Probably not since we stood up my workcenter after building a program from scratch. We have lots of lattitude to make it awesome. It's very exciting stuff.

Anyway, for those of you who read my status updates, or were privvy to what's been happening in my neck of the woods... no worries folks. I'm doing what I do best - workaround. Take a path, find a wall, build a new path around the wall. Step in shit and come out smelling like roses.

By the way... just to prove that live is about balance, in/out, give/take... Remember that good lunch I mentioned earlier. I wrote this blog on my wireless laptop while sitting on the can. See... some things come, some things go.

Monday, April 14, 2008

To be or not to be... trusting

Trust is a funny thing. It's not something that's tangible. You can't touch it or taste it. None of the 5 senses apply. It's not actually something. It's a concept, an ideal, and most importantly - an illusion. It's one of the few things out there where the more you think you have, the less you actually have. The reason for this is that you take this thing called trust and you hand it over to other people. It opens you and makes you vulnerable. It's always a chance and risk. You have to give your trust to someone to see if they are worth of it. If they are, lucky you. If they aren't then it's too late isn't it? If you don't give your trust away, then you'll never know if that person was worth in the first place and what happens? You end up bitter, cynical and basically alone. You're free of confidants and a consigliere.

In this day and age, we all have so much going on. Our lives are so much bigger than ourselves. We're busy, we're stressed, we need assistance and we seek the counsel of those outside our comfort zone and bring them into it in hopes of finding an objective opinion.

Earlier I said cynical. This is a term for someone who mistrusts others without just cause. A default reaction to people as a whole. An alternative to cynicism is jadedness. This is a word to describe those that have been burned by others; those that have reliquinshed control of their trust and learned the hard way that they shouldn't have. This is where your old pal Vig finds himself.

Too often have I given the benefit of the doubt to those who were not deserving of it, in the end. Luckily, it's not that simple. For once, complications in my life and my propensity to attract dramatic scenarios have paid off. I'll explain. When I give my trust, I almost NEVER give 100% of it. I give most but not all. This is a combination of cynicism and jadedness. I've also been blessed with 2 sides of a coin - a healthy level of intellect AND a deep understanding of street smarts (which are just edgier versions of common sense). I also have an uncanny ability to read people. I'm NOT infallible, however. There have been instances where I've gotten the red-ass [read: taken advantage off].

Most of my blogs serve a purpose or have a message. This doesn't really speak out to any one individual person. Some people reading this may wonder if it was meant to cause internal reflection for him/her. I'm not going to answer that question. This could be caused by my own internal reflection. It could be caused by a recent/current event. It could just be the most recent, random thought that passes through my brain - thoughts that stayed internal before the advent of the Internet where we've all been given a voice to rant ad nauseum to the always connected international community.

As an aside, you may remember that the Internet was once referred to as the "Information Superhighway" but you don't hear that term much anymore, if at all. Rather, the Internet seems to have become the vehicle of the masses instead of the path on which information travels.

It's self-serving, much like alot of what we do. This blog is self-serving. All blogs are self-serving. Not a selfless act exists anymore, it seems. We're all selfish - some of us by our misguided need to place blind trust in other faulted individuals and others by our ability to exploit the former half sand the trust that is given. We all view the world as a big steaming pile of me. And therein lies our catch-22; there's the rub. The circular motion and self-perpetuating cycle.

I don't have advice, suggestions or solution. Why is the sky blue? Why is water wet? Why do we allow those who we believe to be our companions to plunge the proverbial knife into our collective backs and twist? Some things just are.

Comment if you wish. Just don't ask.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Perspectives

Since I'm bored this morning and too anxious for tonight's party to really do anything else, I was just browing around at random. WWILFing for those of you who know what that is. It stands for "What Was I Looking For" and it's when you go to a website looking for something, but something else catches your eye and you click and click and click and click and before you know it you're 476 clicks away from the start and you have no idea what begun this whole adventure. And meanwhile, I've digressed from the point of this whole thing. So I was WWILFing - moving along.

During my happy clicking from profile to profile on a variety of social networking sites I was reading profiles here and there just looking for something that made me giggle or gave me a reason to babble on here. I found one that did both as well as left me partially confused. Women may be able to answer this better than men given the fact that we handle certain situations differently.

Some woman said "I probably will not meet you. I'm not flying somwhere to meet a person that could possible cut me up into little pieces." I have a couple of thought processes running concurrently in my ever so warped brain.

~ We've all heard of Internet predators and what not but that chopping up into little pieces story is a very common "fear." Has anyone ever heard of someone doing thing after meeting on the net? Not killing but chopping up into little pieces. Not me. Sounds messy and pretty gross.

~ Let's say a woman flew out here to meet me, for example. Sure I could be crazy and bury her in the backyard but doesn't the whole concept just put me at risk as well. Maybe not from physical harm but all my shit is here. I have half a dozen computers, 3 cameras, a high-def TV, a surround sound system, probably $10,000 in clothes - all of which can be destroyed or stolen by a properly crazy woman. Not to mention the fact that once she leaves, she knows where I live and I'm not here ALL the time. So I think guys are at risk as well.

~ I think this is the most important thing. People say things like that all time but riddle me this Batman... if you meet someone in a bar and go home with them, can't they chop you up into little pieces too? Or is that process limited only to people who live a plane ride away? I'm very confused. If I ever want to go into the chopping business, I kinda need to know if I can chop up local people or if I have to fly them in first. I would think chopping up local people would be better - harder to get caught since there's no paper trail of plan tickets and stuff. I don't know. Just a thought.

I'm glad I'm not trying to actually meet someone online. I'm just bored so I'm doing the Internet equivalent of channel flipping.

Ok, enough silliness. I know I'm sick in the head. I never claimed otherwise. HAHAHA.

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Reflections

I turn 29 today. That beginning of the final year in my 20s. It’s the last semi-carefree year. Shortly after I turn 30, my military stint comes to a close, I move back to the northeast and begin a new career. Coupled with that will be leaving behind friends and all I’ve known for, at that point, 6 years. So this birthday really resonates down to my core.

It’s got me thinking about where I’ve been, where I am, where I’m going. So, in a fantastically morbid way I thought about what would be a good way to summarize my life as of right now. I’m too young for memoirs and frankly haven’t accomplished enough for that. So I decided to write my own obituary. Before you all show up on my doorstep for an intervention, let’s be clear. There is no foreshadowing here. I don’t see 29 as the end of anything, just simply more than an average birthday.

Jason Viglione, known to friends and family as Jay and Vig, died this morning in his home. He was born on April 6, 1979. It was his 29th birthday.

He was born and lived in Glendale Queens, NY until age 12 when he moved to Parsippany, NJ. It was there that he lived and worked until his military enlistment in 2003.

Jason had attended several colleges over the past 11 years piecing together three-quarters of a B.S. degree in Information Technology.

Since high school, Jason held of myriad of civilian jobs ranging from retail sales to technology school admissions to one of his most proud moments as a technology and networks consultant to the New York Stock Exchange where he implemented technologies still used today.

Jason had his share of trials and tribulations also. Jason is a 9/11 survivor - a moment that shaped him, as all who knew him can attest to.

In 2003, he enlisted in the United States Air Force where he served honorably and gave his all until this day. During his enlistment he was stationed solely at Shaw AFB in Sumter, SC with sporadic mlitary related trips to Florida, Texas, Arizona and the Middle East. Serving his part in the war on terror gave Jason a sense of pride that few would ever know.

He was known for his unwavering dedication to his family, support of his friends and love for both. He was always ready to party and was not content if he didn’t bring down the house with laughter at his seemingly endless supply of jokes and stories. He enjoyed being the person whose entrance and exit from a room were noted by a marked volume difference. His interests were varied and he never stopped learning new abilities and achieving new talents. In recent times he had begun to rekindle his abilities to play the piano and get back in shape via hockey. One of his greatest new loves was photography and he had shown remarkable talent in a short amount of time. His love of money and acquisition of what he called "new toys" was unparalleled.

He was never married with no children despite his best efforts to offer the sun, moon and stars to some of the previous women in his life.

He is survived by his parents, brother and grandmother as well as many good friends.

So there’s my life in a nutshell. Lots of filler, lots of beginnings. Very little completed. Not what I had planned for myself by this age, but it is what it is.