Monday, March 31, 2008

Every once in a while...

people just come through. What a refreshing concept. Some of you may remember on my old account I had a couple of blogs about friends, taking advantage and having to give and give with little to no return on my investment of friendship. You may recall that I said that I have no issues giving to people whether it’s time, money, energy, trust, advice, physical help or anything else. And there’s no quid pro quo on my life. No tit for tat. None of this I do, you do, I do, you do bullshit. Friendship is circular. I may give you advice because that’s what you need. And I need someone to help me move so you help me. That’s the reciprocating nature of friends.

Now... because I’m single and don’t have many responsibilities and because I have a few extra bucks in my pocket thanks to previous situations in life and because of my personality - people tend to turn here for assistance more often than the converse. That’s ok. So in return I only ask that people shower me with friendship in return. We’re all adults so that should be easy. That’s what mature people do. I’ve taken the same approach to relationships. Any nosey ex’s reading this can attest to that as can the people who have seen me in relationships.

There have been some moments in the recent past and some that stretch back further where I felt like I may have given more than I received. Felt a little thin "like butter scraped over too much bread." It had gotten to the point where I distanced myself from normal situations, hoping my absence would haveb een a shock factor and REALLY resonated with folks and just maybe make a dent. Nope. Didn’t work. Everyone said, "He’ll get over it." Yeah thanks. Nothing apparently makes people realize that every once in a while the almighty problem solving Vig is a human being and needs a hand from people too. Maybe, just maybe, folks should see that there are things important to me and step up to the plate, as friends, and fix the goddamned problem.

After about a month one nameless person did. I don’t begrudge this person the timing. It took a minute for it to settle in the mind and approach it. But that’s what happened and I give many thanks to the friend that stood up and did what I expect friends to do. My phone rang and we had a long conversation about why I’m in the mindset I’m in and I know my point was heard and understood. It’s now known totally that I’m not doing it to be a dick, cause drama or overreact. It’s a legitimate reaction to very real situations.

Because someone went out on a limb, did the right thing, acted like a friend and took the step to make it right... I walked back in close. All I wanted was for someone to know that I’m not here to serve. I do what I do out of love for those close to me. I’m not here to tell you all that I can’t live without, I can. However, you’re my friends and I don’t want to. But to be in my life and be friends you must... be FRIENDS. Be trustworthy, loyal, helpful friendly, courteous and kind. These are all traits that should be embedded and ingrained deep within each of us. We’re friends by choice - why be rude or selfish with someone you choose to be around. More importantly, why would they choose to be around you if you’re that way.

I’m not perfect. Far from it and never claimed otherwise. But I know that I at least TRY to be the best friend I can be. We all make mistakes and I don’t fault anyone for it.

I do appreciate when a person or people see the bigger picture and do the right thing. A little consideration and honesty goes a LONG way. That’s all I’m saying.

As a little postscript, I just got a call again from someone informing me of a situation I’d want to know about. Not so much to gossip or fill me in but moreover to be sure that, as friends, there’s an unprecedented level of honesty.