Monday, August 04, 2008

Perspective

So Josh, Kristine and Aden are on their way to Germany as we speak. Their second flight from Charlotte to Germany should be taking off soon, if not already. After all the buildup and waiting, they are on the way now. In the early hours of today, Kris wrote a blog. Here is an excerpt:

Six months ago we got news that we'd finally be leaving Shaw. It came to a surprise seeing as I thought Josh cleared his dream sheet, as he was going to get out of the military. Instead he came home Feburary 29th and said "we got orders." I looked at him and said "OK" (very sarcasticly) and he followed with "WE are going to Germany." Josh thought it was a mistake but it wasnt. The E-mail read "Hi, I'd like to be the first to Welccome you to your new base...." Much disbelief for both of us.

So instead of calling quits we are heading to Germany. Six months might seem like a long time but it wasnt. I need more time, We told our families first, I didnt get the response I wanted from my mother, my dad understands though he is sad. Josh parents; you could hear the sadness in their voice but they were the most positive along w/my sister and some friends. I know for a fact the news hit Jason the hardest.

Jason, I'll start w/you. You have been w/us since we welcomed Aden to this world in September 2004. You mean the world to us. Josh and I are so greatful for your friendship, love, and the care and attention you have given Aden. You and I have had our ups and down's but what friendship doesnt. I love you like a brother. And, I cant begin to thank you enough for everything you have done. You let Aden slobber on you, bite you, vomit on you, damn near tear your nose off and everythingn else. You love that boy like your own and for that I am so very greatful. You have always been there for Josh, and I know he's needed a friend like you. So many parties so many memorable nights. It has been a wild ride these last 4 years w/you. You are MY Italian Stallion. We love you. I wish you the best in the years to come. You will not be forgotten.

I took the day off from work and drove up to the airport with them and Josh's parents. We unloaded the cars and walked them in. After getting them all checked in we walked up to security. We were all apprehensive and stalled for a moment before admitting it was just time. And with that we said our goodbyes. We hugged and kissed. We told each other "I love you," "I'll miss you," and "I'll talk to you soon." We thanked each other for always being there. We wiped away each other's tears. Then I watched them go through security and up the ramp away from me and toward a whole new adventure. I kissed my baby boy 100 times.

I stood there watching them head toward the gate until they faded into tiny specks, barely able to discern their shape and identify them amongst the other travelers.

Slowly I made my way to the car, drying my own eyes and sat for a moment before beginning my drive back home. It was an instant after they turned away from me that I begun to miss them. They were still on South Carolina soil; yet they felt like they had been gone forever already.

I sent away my family today. I lost a piece of myself with their departure. It's 4 years, but a lifetime still. Our day to day will never be the same. We'll talk and email and get on webcams to be in touch. We'll send Christmas cards and even do our best to take sporadic trips to visit each other, but I can't show up at their house anymore. I can't peek in with a 6-pack and suffer through Josh making me watch a NASCAR race. I can't tickle Aden until he squirms away just because I feel like it.

So I have the rest of the day to fill now and back to work tomorrow. That will be good as it will occupy most of my day. Of course, Josh is the first person I call as soon as anything happens to me down here, good or bad, and I can't do that anymore either. This coming weekend will be when it hits me the most since we were together almost every weekend, all weekend long.

Those of you who know me well, know that I don't like situations that I can't buy or manipulate my way out of. I feel like I've had the wind knocked out of me. For 5 months we planned for this and prepared ourselves for it emotionally and mentally. But today it's here and I'm just not ready. I love that family and being apart from them is one thing I'd never try to do.

Amidst all of this I realize that nothing else matters. All the bitching I've done about all the other garbage going on in my life is worthless. I'm going to do my best to avoid burdening all my readers with more about the negativity and dramatic situations in my life. I talk about The Secret, positivity and living in abundance all the time and I've far from given up on it. Sometimes situations pile up and we have relapses. So I will try to get it together and only talk about what is truly important in life - friends, family and love given to them and received from them.

Josh and Kristine, I'm sure you'll read this in the next few days when you get settled there. I love you. I miss you. You guys and that baby boy are 3 very important people to me. We may be miles away geographically but we will always be near. You know that if you need anything; I'm there. Any time, any place. A plane ride will not keep us apart.

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